[Confidential] Ex-bf can't seem to disappear/condoms
 

The following is a submission from an Anonymous Revscene member. If the original poster would like to reply to this thread feel free to message me privately

This might be weird, and might be silly to some of you guys, but i have been dating for this girl for around 8 months now.. Our relationship is great, and we rarely have fights.

During sex, I always use a condom, cause i really don't mind it , and i rather play it on the safe side even when if it is a day where chance of pregnancy is slim. However, a few nights ago, i donno why, she told me "oh in my past relationship, my ex-bf doesn't use the condom often".... I was like just silent, cause i didn't know what to say.. Cause to me, it just makes her seem like shes "un-educated" and does not take the risk of pregnancy seriously.

Does it mean she wants to have sex without condoms? She tells me everytime i put on the condom, she loses a bit of the mood.. But like what am i suppose to do? is not like i have a condom on 24/7!??!? I personally want to continue using the condom, cause I just don't want to risk anything.... Also, i think i am just sensitive, but i feel awkward now since I think to myself this girl has been having sex for so long with another guy without a condom on.. Maybe thats just me?

anyways, any feedback will be good. thanks

get her tested
get her on the pill

make sure she's not as dumb as you think she is and that she takes it properly (it's not that hard)

if you're comfortable then, and only then, go buck wild - but if you're not, then don't, no point risking your life (STD's) or your future (unwanted kids) for her sake, if you kosher with how things are now... maybe its time to turn her in for a new model?

You're good to go

even if she does get on the pill, she could be stupid enough to forget. at least you know you'll never run the risk of trying to get a girl preggo by putting a condom on. and that's your way of due diligence. if she can't understand that, she must be pretty dumb then regardless of whether she loses her mood or not. from my perspective, it shows her lack of responsibility.

You must be young. Get over it.

Unless you plan on only dating sexually repressed women, a lot of the girls you'll be dating as you age will have tried, unprotected sex, one night stands, a little bit of kinky play at one point in their lives or another.

This is normal. Its called life.

I don't often reply to the threads I create as Anon but this one I can't ignore.


Your woman is the one with the problem here, not you. Shes obviously willing to play a risky game and at this point in your life you don't need a crotch dropling soiling diapers and waking you up for 3am feedings. Nor do you need a drip, drip, drip or some pustular sores in your pride and joy.

You need to think about you here.

You are in charge of this interaction. She doesn't hold any power over you. She can't force you to give her a baby or to catch an STI.


Also,

If she doesn't like the feeling of latex against her skin, she has a mouth doesn't she? Problem solved.

she wants you to have sex without a condom is pretty much as weird as you want to
stick it in her bum.

I can't say she's uneduated or stupid or wants to have your baby, that is just the way
she wants to play...

It's normal.

As long as she's on birth control (if you don't know what that is, google it), and you both have been tested for STD/STI's prior to getting down and dirty with each other, it's all good, you\re not going to pass anything onto each other.

Most, if not all couples in serious relationships will not use condoms, as long as both of the conditions I listed above are taken care of.

Another word of advice, if you do ever hook up with some random, or someone you\re not sure if you can totally trust, DO NOT TAKE HER WORD for anything, assume she\s not on b/c and will give you the claps or something lol, use a condom. sorry for the messed up punctuation, this isnt my laptop

Ya the answer is quite obvious. Once you start dating someone from her perspective if your both only with one another using a condom still seems overkill and partially embarrassing. I can completely see why she thinks it ruins the mood. Im surprised she isn't on birth control. And if she is on the pill, while I agree birth control is 1% ineffective, the probability of still getting pregnant is like .1%, so its not necessary to use a condom :)

definitely get her tested out

nothing wrong with using a condom bro, its your way of keeping it safe and not creating anything you can't handle
you gotta tell her straight up that you don't wanna take the risk and play it safe

u don't need to use condom if she goes on BCP

Like everyone has already said... get yourself and her tested and get her on the pill/shot, and stay faithful... then you are good to go.

If you're worried about knocking her up, have her talk to her Dr. about birth control. He/ she should be able to reccommend a method that is best for her.

Don't forget to get tested to make sure you are both clean, then practice safe faithful sex and all parties stay happy.

BTW I think it was pretty inconsiderate for her to tell you how her ex bf fucked her bareback.

birth control is the answer and like everyone said, get tested after that you're good to go

FUCK CONDOMS, they take all the feeling away. SERIOUSLY.
GET her on the pill ASAP and ull never go back to rubber.

just as an FYI, condoms are not 100%, the pill is not 100%

i don't know how educated you or your partner are regarding sexual activity, but please be aware that taking the pill is not the 100% answer to no babies, and is no help against any kind of STD's she has or you have

to be brutally honest, i'd just wrap it until you both know fully what the risks are, and therefore the consequences of your actions. i hate to see young ppl with kids who shouldn't be having kids, nor were planning kids (not to say they won't turn out great)

don't fuck up your life now! being young is awesome, kids will ruin that for you!

try it once. unprotected sex is awesome. everything else is pretty weak compared. im not saying you should do it all the time. but protected sex is ....really really weak.

If you want 100% safety.

Don't have sex at all.

dear all,

when it comes to sex, do whatever YOU feel most comfortable in doing. if you don't feel comfortable in having sex without a condom, then don't do it. just because your girlfriend's ex didn't use a condom doesn't mean you have to follow suit. you are you, not him. above all else, i say just talk to the girlfriend. communication is healthy.

if you are worried about stds, get yourself and your partner checked out. stds aren't a FUN thing to have, especially when it comes to things like herpes....or syphilis after a certain stage. that shit stays with you forever! your gf should be getting a pap yearly anyways, so just ask for results if you're worried about her history. and if she hasn't ever gotten one day, good lord send her to a clinic asap. paps are free, and if she isn't on the birth control..get her on it.

and if she gives you excuses on why she doesn't wanna be on it ("i'll get fat" or "I'll forget") tell her to suck it up. gaining a tinge of weight > having a baby. and she can always set an alarm on her phone.

but above all else, don't ever feel pressured to do something you don't want to do.


-vls relationship mods

Or just tell her you,re down for raw sex but that you won't take care of her or the baby. I guarantee she doesn't want to have your baby just as much as you don't want her top. Halfing on a abortion isn't that bad

Lil Wayne Said it Best


"Safe Sex is great sex. Better wear a latex. Cuz you don't want that latex-that "I think I'm late" text.

I say if you're comfortable with using a condom then just continue doing so. If it displeases her, tough luck. She's only whining that it takes away from the mood, but she'll be crying when she gets preggers for sure.

majority of people here seem to say that birth control + testing is gonna solve the problem, but i don't buy it.

what goes wrong can. (picture diapers)

The same sentiment can equally be applied to condoms you know.

i'm sayin don't ditch the condom if you're not prepared to suffer the (supposed) consequences. i'm not sayin condoms are foolproof, but they're a hella lot more effective than not using them