[Confidential] Long Distance Relationships

[Durrann1984]

absence makes the heart grow fonder

or

Out of sight, out of mind

[C-Boogie]

wow, some really excellent replies here...sorry for my long reply though, but I thought I could share my experience

My girlfriend and I have been doing the long distance thing since August 2006. She lives in Vancouver and I live/work in Newfoundland (was also in Edmonton for 7 months prior). Talk about being on the other side of the country lol. We were together for 4 years prior to me moving so we already had a nice foundation in our relationship. It definitely requires trust and the committment of the both of us to make it work...

We only see each other twice a year; she comes out to visit for 2 weeks in the summer, then I go back to Vancity for a month in January. Having a good long distance phone plan definitely helps too, so we we try and talk every other day. One of the big obstacles was the time difference though, I am 4 1/2 hours ahead. So if she got off work at 730pm and we wanted to chat, that means I have to stay up til midnight just to talk, which kinda sucks if i have to work at 7am the next day. BTW this applies to canucks games as well which sucks! I have to stay up til 230-3am to watch them LOL.

The second big obstacle was the fact that we both never knew how long we would be doing the LDR thing because of my job. My company has offices all over Canada (as well as downtown Vancouver, which is hard to get into), so I was hoping to transfer there eventually, but who knew when. I got to fill out an application for a lateral transfer, but had to list the top 3 cities I would be willing to work in...but at the same time, other people at other offices got a chance to do the same thing...then a senior management committee decides who gets to go where. So with all these uncertainties, and the fact that I could actually move to another city (not Vancouver) put a lot of stress on the relationship. (ie: would my gf quit her job and leave her friends to go with me to wherever I ended up?)

This is getting long so I'll wrap it up...I was just back in Vancouver for my month long holiday in January, when I got an email from my manager saying my transfer request to Vancouver got approved, so I'll be moving back this May. The same day I found this out I proposed to my girlfriend, and she said yes .

Again, sorry for the long reply, but I hope this gives the other RSers out there doing the LDR some optimism!

PS: Woooohoooo!! I'll get to watch Canuck games at a decent time now!!

[Ulic Qel-Droma]

they can work. both parties just have to be willing and not weak.

[too_slow]

Originally Posted by C-Boogie

wow, some really excellent replies here...sorry for my long reply though, but I thought I could share my experience

My girlfriend and I have been doing the long distance thing since August 2006. She lives in Vancouver and I live/work in Newfoundland (was also in Edmonton for 7 months prior). Talk about being on the other side of the country lol. We were together for 4 years prior to me moving so we already had a nice foundation in our relationship. It definitely requires trust and the committment of the both of us to make it work...

We only see each other twice a year; she comes out to visit for 2 weeks in the summer, then I go back to Vancity for a month in January. Having a good long distance phone plan definitely helps too, so we we try and talk every other day. One of the big obstacles was the time difference though, I am 4 1/2 hours ahead. So if she got off work at 730pm and we wanted to chat, that means I have to stay up til midnight just to talk, which kinda sucks if i have to work at 7am the next day. BTW this applies to canucks games as well which sucks! I have to stay up til 230-3am to watch them LOL.

The second big obstacle was the fact that we both never knew how long we would be doing the LDR thing because of my job. My company has offices all over Canada (as well as downtown Vancouver, which is hard to get into), so I was hoping to transfer there eventually, but who knew when. I got to fill out an application for a lateral transfer, but had to list the top 3 cities I would be willing to work in...but at the same time, other people at other offices got a chance to do the same thing...then a senior management committee decides who gets to go where. So with all these uncertainties, and the fact that I could actually move to another city (not Vancouver) put a lot of stress on the relationship. (ie: would my gf quit her job and leave her friends to go with me to wherever I ended up?)

This is getting long so I'll wrap it up...I was just back in Vancouver for my month long holiday in January, when I got an email from my manager saying my transfer request to Vancouver got approved, so I'll be moving back this May. The same day I found this out I proposed to my girlfriend, and she said yes .

Again, sorry for the long reply, but I hope this gives the other RSers out there doing the LDR some optimism!

PS: Woooohoooo!! I'll get to watch Canuck games at a decent time now!!

Congrats!!

Off-topic, but do you work for Fortis?

[C-Boogie]

nope...meteorologist for environment canada

[miss_crayon]

you need to have an end goal as to what you want your relationship to be __ years/months from now. if you don't make an end goal then you are just wasting your time wondering what is going to happen. for me, me and my guy had to talk about the end goal early on because we weren't blessed with having the time to get to "that stage" since he works in toronto and i live in van. it was a bit awkward at first to bring up cause it felt so early to talk about, but at least we both know what result we are looking forward to in the future. you have to see a serious relationship for the both of you to make it work in my eyes. not just for fun/the sake of having someone to think about.

yeah it gets hard when i can't be there for him/vice versa, emotionally and physically, but i wouldn't consider of being in an open relationship. a relationship is shared by 2 people, it shouldn't matter if one is here or there. 2. not 3 or 4. besides, he can get all the lovin' when i next see him

mmm now that i think about it, my reply really didn't help the confidential post-er. ...i don't think.