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-   -   Asking Permission... (https://www.revscene.net/forums/561412-asking-permission.html)

Berzerker 01-20-2009 09:35 PM

Asking Permission...
 
For Marriage.. This is for those guys who are already married or engaged, did you ask her father for permission to marry? How did it go? Did you just go over and ask or did you plan it out and do it in a smooth way? I'm at that point and am feeling kind of nervous about it lol. Trying to figure out the best way to go about it without needing to run out the door being chased by a shotgun after :haha:

Berz out.

K-Dub 01-20-2009 09:49 PM

Awwww RS marriage with Care.

Berz out.

BoneThug 01-20-2009 09:52 PM

never did it but i would. or at least hope her parents were dead by then.

CanadaGoose 01-20-2009 10:12 PM

Just back your car into the driveway and leave the engine running and door open, just for incase

Care 01-20-2009 10:47 PM

.

Alatar 01-20-2009 11:05 PM

Elope. Vegas wedding.

Ch28 01-20-2009 11:26 PM

It's all about honesty bro. No point in sugarcoating it by treating them to a fancy dinner or anything like that. If you really love her then it should show and her parents should have recognized that a long time ago.

yuusha 01-21-2009 03:03 AM

My mom's parents basically took my dad to a jewelry store and told him to pick a ring on Christmas Eve.

It's all about how you suck up to the parents from day 1.

hotjoint 01-21-2009 06:30 AM

gf's parents love me, when I decide to pop the question, I'll ask them out of respect but I don't think its necessary

Berzerker 01-21-2009 06:45 AM

^^^ That's the same with me... However it is an awkward situation is it not? The other thing I have to approach with her father is the ring situation. He is a mining lawyer and has a very good friend who gets great deals on large stones. So its been suggested to me that I ask her father about this when I ask permission (by Care's Brother in Law) I'm already getting stressed out!.

Do you think the tradition of asking permission to marry will last more than another generation? Is it a timeless tradition?

Berz out.

Soundy 01-21-2009 06:50 AM

Remember, it's easier to ask forgiveness than to ask permission.

Berzerker 01-21-2009 07:10 AM

^^ :haha: This is true!

Berz out.

hotjoint 01-21-2009 08:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Berzerker (Post 6236908)
^^^ That's the same with me... However it is an awkward situation is it not? The other thing I have to approach with her father is the ring situation. He is a mining lawyer and has a very good friend who gets great deals on large stones. So its been suggested to me that I ask her father about this when I ask permission (by Care's Brother in Law) I'm already getting stressed out!.

Do you think the tradition of asking permission to marry will last more than another generation? Is it a timeless tradition?

Berz out.

i think its different for every culture and person. I know some people dont really give a shit about that some that feel that its mandatory. Your situation is a toughy though. Good luck with that one :thumbsup:

quasi 01-21-2009 08:08 AM

I didn't ask for permission but I did give the heads up to her mom.

Inaii 01-21-2009 08:48 AM

Just ask, quit being such a wuss =p If you love her, tell him and tell him you'd like his blessing and approval to marry her... sheesh.

poweredbyph 01-21-2009 09:12 AM

Oh and remember to thank her parents during your speech on your wedding day.

Gumby 01-21-2009 09:56 AM

Oops, I didn't ask for permission...

And you should have posted anonymously, cuz now Care knows you're gonna propose! :p

hamsup 01-21-2009 10:02 AM

I did this recently !! totally know what you are going through..

I guess it really depends...

is it out of mutual respect or are you seeking for approval? I think that is the probably the biggest thing you need to figure out for yourself.

What if they say no.. are you still going to do it ?? have you bought the ring already?

Inaii 01-21-2009 10:04 AM

I think she already knew lol. But if not, way to ruin the surprise Berz!

quasi 01-21-2009 11:07 AM

If your worried about it and want to soften the blow get your girlfriend to leak it to her mom. I think he's going to propose I found a ring. Then a couple days later you tell them acting like it's a secret except all the drama will already be removed because the seed was already planted.

Noir 01-21-2009 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by quasi (Post 6237257)
If your worried about it and want to soften the blow get your girlfriend to leak it to her mom. I think he's going to propose I found a ring. Then a couple days later you tell them acting like it's a secret except all the drama will already be removed because the seed was already planted.

I have a different idea when it comes to planting seeds.

vmec 01-21-2009 01:35 PM

As a daddy's little girl I know that whatever man I've choosen to make me very happy, will be approved of (unless he's a complete douche... but I like to think I pick them better than that).

I know my daddy would bless his heart if he asked. So that shouldn't be the worry. I would be concerned if he didn't ask permission. In fact I'd hate to call it permission, it's more like asking for a blessing.

Berzerker 01-21-2009 02:52 PM

Yea that's a good point in several posts.. is it really asking permission or more like giving a heads up and manning up and bonding with the soon to be father in law. As for Care, she knows it's coming but not when or where ;)

Another interesting point in a post was "What if he says no?" I had never thought of that haha. Wouldn't THAT be a kick in the balls. I like that idea about telling the mom first... however I think her mom would keep it a secret until I asked just to be mean to me :D

Her family loves me so I'm sure it's not going to be an issue but that still doesn't make it less nerve racking.

Berz out.

Berzerker 01-21-2009 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hamsup (Post 6237161)
have you bought the ring already?


No as I mentioned in a previous post her father is a mining lawyer and has a very good friend who deals in precious stones, so I am waiting to ask her father as he will then take me to meet his friend and I will get the stone/stones from him. This is what her father did for her brother in law and her brother so I am hoping he will do the same for me :haha: I can't be the one who bought his wife the smallest diamond.. I would never hear the end of it ;) haha

Berz out.

vmec 01-21-2009 03:24 PM

I've heard some stories and this is how it goes:

John calls and asks if he can take Jane's parents out to dinner and have a talk. He says it will just be the 3 of us Jane isn't coming. The gf typically isn't notified and the parents are asked not to say anything to her either. Hopefully at this point they know... So they go for dinner John starts to talk. He says what a wonderful girl Jane is blah blah blah, how much he loves her, how he would love to take care of her for the rest of his life blah blah blah. "May I have Jane's hand in marriage?" (or some shit like that.) Mom balls, dad says fuck you no! Just kidding, Dad says congrats, and then you toast!

Aww precious.


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