REVscene - Vancouver Automotive Forum

Alar · 01-25-2009, 11:04 AM

Ok what do you do when you have a really good friend. They start giving you signs of flirting? Never before has it happened but just recently, it's frequent.

but you also have a GF/BF, they can also get pretty jealous, and doesn't necessarily get along with the friend of yours.

So, how do you tell the friend to back off or stop? without making them feel un-comfortable to be around you afterward?

BoneThug · 01-25-2009, 11:09 AM

when i get drunk and show my female friends too much love they like to either tell me they dont remember, or just give me this knowing look next time they see me like "this time, can we please have a night thats not awkward? if thats cool with you? thanks"

if it was real affection then I wouldnt know how to go about it.

michimaro · 01-25-2009, 12:45 PM

You can always just bring it up in a joking manner like... "hey i noticed that lately you have been getting kinda flirty...what's up with that?" If you two are good friends and you don't sound too accusing when you bring it up it shouldn't lead to any awkwardness afterwards.

As far as the jealous bf/gf that doesn't get along with your friend goes: that's a tough one. Does the friend flirt with you in front of your significant other? I mean from the bf/gf point of view, this "friend" could be trying to get with you so it's understandable they might get jealous/annoyed.

I have a guy friend that seems to only enjoy flirting with girls with bf. It gets kinda dirty at times but we all know it's harmless and just laugh it off. We joke about him being a home wrecker but its not serious at all. Though I can see how from our bf's point of view it could be a little bit on the WTF side?!

143what · 01-25-2009, 04:16 PM

just joke around with your friend and say something like, " do you really want my bf/gf to kick both of ours asses? lol"

Wykydtron · 01-25-2009, 04:30 PM

Tell them outright. If they are a friend worth keeping they should understand and stop. A friendship is just another kind of relationship, and one of the biggest requirements in a relationship is honesty, trust and communication.

tom827 · 01-25-2009, 06:45 PM

Tell them straight you're not feeling comfortable and tell them they are not treating u as a good friend because they are making things awkard

Culture_Vulture · 01-25-2009, 06:47 PM

"I know you're a freak, but nothing you could do could EVER compare to what my gf would do to me if she found out"

But honestly, the best solution is deterrence,
stop her from doing what she does in the first place, and you wouldn't have that problem.
A good and easy solution would be to have your SO nearby whenever you two interact. Try not to go out of your way to reply to her personal messages, text messages, wall posts, etc. as much.
I think if you're willing to go that far then eventually she won't be as attached.

fnguyen96 · 01-25-2009, 10:14 PM

say.
please dont do taht anymore
it makes me feel uncomfortable etc.

i TOTALLy hit on this one chick for the longest time
and yes, i knew she had a bf
and being the good gf she is
she tells her bf everything

and i called her babe one night
and then she just texted me and told me she felt comfortable and that her bf gets pissed off when i say "stuff" to her

just approach it straight up
be honest
make sure you maintain the friendship

Vege · 01-25-2009, 10:22 PM

Nip it in the bud and say it straight up. If they don't stop even after your warning, they aren't good enough to be your friends.

kanachan · 01-25-2009, 11:47 PM

If they're really your friend, they'll back off if you firmly tell them to stop.

Then offer to lend them an ear or shoulder if there's something that drove that friend to suddenly peak an interest in you. Sometimes it's just mixed feelings in their life.

k2_alpha · 01-26-2009, 01:03 PM

Do not actually tell them to stop.
Just a hint
not matter how great the friendship is, embarrassment/ pride is a major killer.

you · 01-26-2009, 01:16 PM

stick it in her ***

LsquareD · 01-26-2009, 03:59 PM

Tell your friend thats flirting with you that you're gay.

Alar · 01-26-2009, 06:33 PM

so how do I kindly approach her without embarrassing her at the same time?

We usually talk a lot but now not so much, as I told her I was busy with school.

asian_XL · 01-26-2009, 07:23 PM

k2 alpha is right, once you tell them to stop, that will kill the friendship or they will stay away from you for a long time.

you don't really have to do anything, as long as you pretend you don't "receive" the signal and don't take it so serious (think that as a joke).

As long as the girl doesn't rip your clothes and demand for sex, I don't think it matters

tegz · 01-31-2009, 02:09 PM

See if she actually wants you or just joking around... by trying to have sex with her.

If she's down.. then it's up to u to decide in that moment to actually go through with it or flip out at her like "WTF are you thinking!!"

But if shes like what the hell just be like "I'm just testing ya

" and you can both go back to being friends

Alar · 02-01-2009, 04:46 PM

what are the rules/terms for "F*** buddies"?

tegz · 02-01-2009, 10:01 PM

1) never say I love you
2) never expect the other to do gf/bf-y stuff for you, but if they do, take it as a bonus, but don't do gf/bf-y stuff back to them because it'll just end up in you two in a relationship
3) you should really end things with your current gf if you're planning to do f-buddy for a long term!! :P

point 3 is very arguable though

underdawgIV · 02-02-2009, 06:45 PM

edit wrong account.

underdawgIV · 02-02-2009, 06:47 PM

edit wrong account.

Alar · 02-02-2009, 06:50 PM

^(I was on my brother's account)

...

Yeah, I was just asking.

so recently me and my gf have been going through problems and my friend is aware of this and asks me if I would do her if my gf wasn't around. I didn't give a straight answer moreso just laughed.

Then she responds with, "I'll ask you later then". and giggled.

so I was like.

wutt.

LC21 · 02-03-2009, 04:09 PM

^
shoulda said yes, just to excite her. LOL

Serious note, Tell her to talk to the hand

if she tries to that dirty stuff again.