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Vancouver Off-Topic / Current Events The off-topic forum for Vancouver, funnies, non-auto centered discussions, WORK SAFE. While the rules are more relaxed here, there are still rules. Please refer to sticky thread in this forum.

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Old 05-22-2010, 05:34 PM   #301
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racist joke



what do you call a Mexican that jumped off a plane?


Spoiler!
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Old 05-24-2010, 07:08 PM   #302
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Thought i saw this somewhere on revscene:

Blonde:"What does idk mean?"
Brunette:"I don't know"
Blonde:"OMG the world is so confusing"
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Old 05-25-2010, 12:26 PM   #303
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Originally Posted by LsquareD View Post
This might be old/repost. oh well

4 Men In A Prison Cell

1 Rapist
1 Murderer
1 Psycho
1 Gay

Rapist : If there was a cat here i'd fuck it till it die.

Murderer : Once you're done with it , I'd torture it to death.

Psycho : Ooh Yeah and once it's dead , i'd fuck it till i die..

The Gay in the corner softly n slowly says :

Meeeowww..


LoLz
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- Small victories... tasty like salty peanuts. Peanuts, the proper diameter of your anus. Protect it well my friends!
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Old 05-25-2010, 01:05 PM   #304
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A wife says 2 her husband, ''Bulls can fuck 3000 times a year, Why can't you?'' The husband replies, ''Ask the bull if he fucks the same cow every night !''
Posted via RS Mobile
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- Small victories... tasty like salty peanuts. Peanuts, the proper diameter of your anus. Protect it well my friends!
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Old 05-25-2010, 01:24 PM   #305
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Stole this from the movie Hollow Man. Thought it was pretty funny.

So one day Superman was flying around and feeling really horny, so he was on top of building and he see's Wonder Women lying on the rooftop butt naked and her legs spread wide open!

So Superman was like "fuck man i gotta get me some of that wonder pussy" So he thought that he could just fly down and fuck her so fast that she wouldnt even know cause Superman is faster than a speeding bullet right?

So Superman then flies down and fucks the shit outta Wonder Woman in a second. Wonder woman goes "wtf was that?" then Invisable man goes "I don't know, but my asshole is killing me!"

Oh man, that is just too funny!
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Old 05-25-2010, 08:48 PM   #306
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so there's this couple laying in bed. the wife is laying in bed , and the husband is readin ga book
as she is trying to get some sleep, he touches her vagina, and stops, and she thought he wanted to get down
so she lays there, ready, he then touches her again, but gets back to his reading, after a couple of times shes says to him
.. are we going to fuck hunny? he says, no. what makes u think that. she says because u are touching my vagina
he says.. becus its wet and i need to flip my pageee in my book
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Old 05-25-2010, 10:31 PM   #307
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dunno if it's a repost - heard it from a friend thought it was pretty funny

So Grand Theft Auto just came out, and a bunch of teenagers popped by their local EB games to buy a copy or two. Unfortunately, the sales clerk was new, and she didn't know jack about video games, let a lone a new one. When the teenagers asked the cleark for a copy of "San Andreas", she didn't know what it is, so she asked them to describe the game to see if she can identify it.

One of the teenagers replies: "Well you play as a black guy, running around with golf clubs and shit beating up hookers"

The sales clerk immediately knew what he was talking about, went into the back, and got a copy of the game...
Spoiler!
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Old 05-25-2010, 10:56 PM   #308
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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

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Old 05-26-2010, 10:35 AM   #309
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A boy is home with his babysitter on a stormy night when the boy says "Usually on a stormy night mommy lets me cuddle with her". The babysitter responds with "OK". They are cuddling when the boy says "Usually mommy lets me take a bath". The babysitter says "ok". The boy is in the tub when he says "Usually mommy gets in with me". The babysitter says "Really? ok". They are in the tub when the boy says "Usually my mommy lets me touch her bellybutton" The babysitter says "Really? ummmmm ok".

Then the babysitter says "Hey that wasn't my bellybutton!" The boy says "That wasn't my finger either."
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- Small victories... tasty like salty peanuts. Peanuts, the proper diameter of your anus. Protect it well my friends!
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Old 05-26-2010, 10:40 AM   #310
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A man was driving home late one night and was feeling very horny. As he was passing a pumpkin patch, his mind started to wander. He thought to himself, you know a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there is no one around for miles. He pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a nice, juicy looking pumpkin, cut the appropriate size hole in it, and began to screw the pumpkin. After a while he really got into it, and didn't notice the police car pulling up.

The cop walked over and said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?"

The man looked at the cop in complete horror, thought fast and said, "A pumpkin? My goodness, is it midnight already?"

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- Small victories... tasty like salty peanuts. Peanuts, the proper diameter of your anus. Protect it well my friends!
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Old 05-26-2010, 01:02 PM   #311
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Whats the difference between Jam and Jelly?




You can't jelly your cock down a girl's mouth
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I believe cars are meant to be driven. I see zero point in having a beautiful car and never driving it. Might as well have Miranda Kerr in your bed and sleeping on the ground cause you don't want to fudge her mascara...
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Old 05-27-2010, 12:38 AM   #312
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racist joke

what do you call a black person with an afro?
Spoiler!


why is there cotton on top in a tylenol bottle?
Spoiler!
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Old 05-27-2010, 01:04 AM   #313
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Posted via RS Mobile

*edit

wtf lol i didn't even click post reply.. iphone, you have failed me yet again..

Last edited by NinjaAceYork; 05-27-2010 at 03:24 PM.
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Old 05-27-2010, 07:20 AM   #314
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some of this stuff is gold
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Old 05-27-2010, 05:48 PM   #315
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racist joke

Spoiler!
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Old 05-28-2010, 01:38 AM   #316
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racist joke

Spoiler!
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Old 05-28-2010, 07:16 PM   #317
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how fast can a girl fuck?



Spoiler!
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Old 05-29-2010, 07:55 PM   #318
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A man was waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor came and informed the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms, or legs. The son was just a head!

But the dad loved his son and raised him as well as he could. Eighteen years later, the son was old enough for his first drink. The dad took him to a bar, tearfully told him he was proud of him, and ordered the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously, the boy took his first sip of alcohol.

Swoooop! A torso popped out!

The bar was dead silent, then burst into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" The bartender shook his head in dismay.

Swoooop! Two arms popped out!

The bar went wild. The father, crying and wailing, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" But the bartender ignored the whole affair.

By this time, the boy was getting tipsy. With his new hands, he reached down, grabbed the drink, and guzzled the last of it.

Swoooop! Two legs popped out.

The bar was in chaos. The father wept with joy. The boy stood up on his new legs. He stumbled to the left. He stumbled to the right. Then he stumbled through the front door and into the street, where a truck ran him over.

The bar fell silent. The father moaned with grief. The bartender merely sighed and said, "He should have quit while he was a head."
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Old 06-03-2010, 01:09 PM   #319
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RIP, little man....................

Now down to business................

Gary Coleman's estate was looking for the perfect coffin. Here's what they found.

Spoiler!
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Old 06-03-2010, 01:10 PM   #320
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^
Ouch!

(Fix your closing spoiler tag pls.)
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Old 06-03-2010, 03:20 PM   #321
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^
(Fix your closing spoiler tag pls.)
Yep......... spelled spoiler wrong, LOL.

Fixed it in less than two minutes....... you too fast.
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Old 06-04-2010, 12:38 AM   #322
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too soon =x
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Old 06-04-2010, 02:15 AM   #323
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Three third-graders, a Jew, an Italian, and an African American are on the playground at recess. The Jewish kid suggests that they play a new game. "Let's see who has the largest dick," he says. "Okay," they all agree.

The Jewish kid pulls down his zipper and whips it out. "That's nothing," says the Italian kid. He whips his out. His is a couple of inches longer. Not to be outdone, the African American whips his out. It is far the biggest, dwarfing the other two in both length and width. The Jewish and Italian kid are stunned and amazed. "Wow, that thing is huge!" they exclaim.

That night, eating dinner at home, the African American's mother asks him what he did at school today.

"Oh, we worked on a science project, had a math test and read out loud from a new book ...and during recess, my friends and I played "Let's see who has the largest dick."

"What kind of game is that, honey?" says the mother.

"Well, me, Sidney and Anthony each pulled out our penises, and I had the biggest! The other kids say its because I'm black. Is that true, Mom?"

The mom replies: "No, honey. It's because you're twenty-three."
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Old 06-04-2010, 08:01 AM   #324
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lol, wtf.. didnt see that coming
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Old 06-04-2010, 08:48 AM   #325
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LiquidTurbo View Post
Three third-graders, a Jew, an Italian, and an African American are on the playground at recess. The Jewish kid suggests that they play a new game. "Let's see who has the largest dick," he says. "Okay," they all agree.

The Jewish kid pulls down his zipper and whips it out. "That's nothing," says the Italian kid. He whips his out. His is a couple of inches longer. Not to be outdone, the African American whips his out. It is far the biggest, dwarfing the other two in both length and width. The Jewish and Italian kid are stunned and amazed. "Wow, that thing is huge!" they exclaim.

That night, eating dinner at home, the African American's mother asks him what he did at school today.

"Oh, we worked on a science project, had a math test and read out loud from a new book ...and during recess, my friends and I played "Let's see who has the largest dick."

"What kind of game is that, honey?" says the mother.

"Well, me, Sidney and Anthony each pulled out our penises, and I had the biggest! The other kids say its because I'm black. Is that true, Mom?"

The mom replies: "No, honey. It's because you're twenty-three."
LMAO
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