REVscene - Vancouver Automotive Forum


Welcome to the REVscene Automotive Forum forums.

Registration is Free!You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today! The banners on the left side and below do not show for registered users!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact contact us.


Go Back   REVscene Automotive Forum > Automotive Chat > Vancouver Off-Topic / Current Events

Vancouver Off-Topic / Current Events The off-topic forum for Vancouver, funnies, non-auto centered discussions, WORK SAFE. While the rules are more relaxed here, there are still rules. Please refer to sticky thread in this forum.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 06-04-2010, 11:42 AM   #326
Where's my RS Christmas Lobster?!
 
akalic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: richmond
Posts: 879
Thanked 2,284 Times in 186 Posts
As a plane is losing power, a Pilot comes over the intercom and says:
"Sorry it had to come down to this folks, but we've already let the luggage go and the plane continues to lose speed." "I hate to have to do this, but we're going to have to start releasing some passengers."
*GASPS
Captain: "It only seems fair that we do this in alphabetical order so we'll start with the letter "A."" "Are there any Africans on the plane?"
*SILENCE
"Any Africans???"
*SILENCE
"OK, B." "Are there any Blacks on the Plane?" "Any Black people?"
Nobody responds.
"OK People, we're on C." "Are there any colored people on the plane?
Silence again, but a small child leans over to his mom and says: "Momma, aren't we African American, Black, and Colored?"
His mom turns to him and says: "TODAY honey, we are Niggers, let them Mexicans go first!"
So the little black kid turns to the Mexican kid sitting next to him and laughs... But the Mexican kid just laughs back and says: "I'm a Wetback, get ready to jump Nigger!"
Advertisement
__________________
spaghetti cakes
akalic is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2010, 11:56 AM   #327
Even when im right, revscene.net is still right!
 
Sandman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Richmond
Posts: 1,337
Thanked 298 Times in 53 Posts
There was a blonde who was taking her kids to Disney Land. When they were about half way there, the blonde saw a sign that said "Disney Land Left," so the blonde turned back around and went home.
__________________
"i'm a nobody , nobody's perfect , therefore im perfect."

"stupidity is not a handicap, park elsewere"
Sandman is offline  
Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 06-04-2010, 12:09 PM   #328
Even when im right, revscene.net is still right!
 
Sandman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Richmond
Posts: 1,337
Thanked 298 Times in 53 Posts
There were these three women who escaped from prison. A blonde and two brunets. So to get away from the cops they hid in an abandoned farm house. In the farm house there were three burlap sacks sitting around. So they hid in them. When the cops came to the farm house the one of the cops saw the sacks, the officers yells, "There's just three burlap sacks in here!" To which his partner replies, "Then kick them just to be sure it's not them hiding". The officer goes and kicks the one with the brunet in it and she yells, "MEEEYYOWW!" the officer said "Oh, its just a stupid cat in there." So he kicks the one with the other brunet in it and she yells, "RUUFFF RUFFF!", so the officer says, "Oh, it's just a stupid dog!" Then he kicks the sack with the blonde in it and she yells, "POTATOES!"
__________________
"i'm a nobody , nobody's perfect , therefore im perfect."

"stupidity is not a handicap, park elsewere"
Sandman is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2010, 09:43 PM   #329
In RS I Trust
 
murd0c's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Mission
Posts: 19,039
Thanked 16,302 Times in 3,790 Posts
A cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street,




when a little girl On her new shiny bike stopped beside him



'Nice bike,' the cop said. 'Did Santa bring it to you?'

'Yes Sir,' the little girl said, 'he sure did!'

The cop looked the bike over and handed
the girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation.

The cop said, 'Give this to your Dad, and next year, tell Santa to put
a reflector light on the back of it!'

The young girl looked up at the cop and said,
'Nice horse you've got there Sir. Did Santa bring it to you?'

Playing along with the girl, he chuckled and answered,
'Yes, he sure did!'

The little girl looked up at the cop and said:








'Next year tell Santa;
The dick goes underneath the horse, not on top'!!!


murd0c is offline  
Reply With Quote
This post FAILED by:
Old 06-08-2010, 01:38 PM   #330
14 dolla balla aint got nothing on me!
 
Mizter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 661
Thanked 452 Times in 55 Posts
First-year students at Med School were receiving their first Anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them: “In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor. The first is That you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body.” For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth.” Go ahead and do the same thing,” he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it.

When everyone had finished, the Professor looked at them and told them, “The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my Middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention.”
Mizter is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 06-08-2010, 09:11 PM   #331
I contribute to threads in the offtopic forum
 
slammer111's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 2,627
Thanked 273 Times in 90 Posts
A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted,

"Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.

"I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip." The woman below responded,

"You must be in Management."

"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."
slammer111 is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 06-08-2010, 11:49 PM   #332
I don't get it
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Surrey
Posts: 403
Thanked 65 Times in 19 Posts
wow never knew Rs was so emotional when it came to racist jokes

Last edited by yamahar6; 06-09-2010 at 03:20 PM.
yamahar6 is offline  
Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 06-09-2010, 07:07 PM   #333
In RS I Trust
 
murd0c's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Mission
Posts: 19,039
Thanked 16,302 Times in 3,790 Posts
Posted in NWS but man this is a good one!!




reason why condoms come in boxes of 3, 6, AND 12


A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, “What are these, Dad?”

To which the man matter-of-factly replies, “Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex.”

“Oh, I see,” replied the boy pensively. “I’ve heard of that in health class at school.” He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, “Why are there 3 in this package?”

The dad replies, “Those are for high school boys, one for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday.”

“Cool” says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, “Then, who are these for?”

“Those are for college men,” the dad answers. “TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday.”

“WOW!” exclaimed the boy, “Then, who uses THESE?” he asks, picking up a 12-pack.

With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied, “Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March……. “
__________________
murd0c is offline  
Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 06-09-2010, 07:27 PM   #334
RS.net, helping ugly ppl have sex since 2001
 
shenmecar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 8,854
Thanked 2,417 Times in 668 Posts
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”

To which she replied, “There certainly is!”

My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”
__________________
2014 Honda Civic Si
shenmecar is offline  
Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 06-09-2010, 08:17 PM   #335
14 dolla balla aint got nothing on me!
 
Mizter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 661
Thanked 452 Times in 55 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by yamahar6 View Post
wow never knew Rs was so emotional when it came to racist jokes
We're not emotional about racist jokes, its just that your joke sucked and has probably been posted 2 or 3 times already.
Mizter is offline  
Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 06-09-2010, 08:35 PM   #336
MG1
Fathered more RS members than anybody else. Who's your daddy?
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 18,050
Thanked 7,728 Times in 3,027 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mizter View Post
We're not emotional about racist jokes, its just that your joke sucked and has probably been posted 2 or 3 times already.
Damn......... I missed it. That bad, huh?
__________________
"Youth is Wasted on the Young"

RS - helping FOB's blend in with Canadian society and culture since its inception. god bless
MG1 is online now  
Reply With Quote
Old 06-09-2010, 09:21 PM   #337
I wish I was where I was when I wished I was here
 
hchang's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: West Coast
Posts: 4,600
Thanked 2,699 Times in 625 Posts
Wife and husband have bought condoms with different flavours.
- Darling, I will turn off the light, put one on and you guess the flavour.
As soon as he turns off the light, she takes it in the mouth and says:
- Gorgonzola!
- Wait, it is not on yet.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Three guys had to spend the night at a hotel and share a double bed.

In the morning, the guy on the right said "I had this great dream last night, that a girl gave me a handjob"

The guy on the left replied "That's weird so did I"

Finally, the guy in the middle said "Lucky for you guys...I only dream't I was skiing"

-----------------------------------------------------------------

There was this lady and she really wanted to have sex, but she was to scared to ask her husband so she went to a jipsy and told her her problem.

The jipsy rummaged around in a chest and pulled out a pickle jar with a penis in it, and said "All you have to do is open the jar and say 'Pickle penis my vagina' and it will start having sex with you".

So later she tries out the pickle penis and it works great. That is until her husband walks in and he shouts "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT" and the woman says "It's a pickled penis"

Unfortunately her husband replied "PICKLE PENIS MY ASS"

-------------------------------------------------------

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"

His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's ass and say, 'How about a blowjob?' ....And she's always sound asleep."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.

He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place.

He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he's gentle like he promised he'd be.

He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him-he's done this many times before.

His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an easy entrance. You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible. As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues. He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful. Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on. He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you.

After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over. He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.

You smile and thank your dentist. After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.

Naughty, Naughty!

Excuse me, What were you thinkin'?

---------------------------------------------------------------
hchang is offline  
Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 06-09-2010, 10:06 PM   #338
MoD
 
k2_alpha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: a rainy city
Posts: 3,477
Thanked 1,798 Times in 222 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by hchang View Post
As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.

He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place.

He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he's gentle like he promised he'd be.

He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him-he's done this many times before.

His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an easy entrance. You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible. As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues. He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful. Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on. He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you.

After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over. He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.

You smile and thank your dentist. After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.

Naughty, Naughty!

Excuse me, What were you thinkin'?

---------------------------------------------------------------
i knew the ending was going to be something retarded like that
but i was thinking that it was doctor giving a man a prostate check
__________________
Lets street race, first one to jail wins

k2_alpha@REVscene.net
k2_alpha is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 06-09-2010, 11:34 PM   #339
RS.net, helping ugly ppl have sex since 2001
 
Gumby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 9,196
Thanked 2,264 Times in 850 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by 89blkcivic View Post
Damn......... I missed it. That bad, huh?
It was basically:

Q. What's faster than a black guy stealing your TV?
A. His brother stealing your VCR.

Quite the letdown.
__________________
Do Not Put Aftershave on Your Balls. -604CEFIRO
Looks like I'm gonna have some hot sex again tonight...OOPS i got the 6 pack. that wont last me the night, I better go back and get the 24 pack! -Turbo E
kinda off topic but obama is a dilf - miss_crayon
Honest to fucking Christ the easiest way to get a married woman in the mood is clean the house and do the laundry.....I've been with the same girl almost 17 years, ask me how I know. - quasi
Gumby is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 06-09-2010, 11:40 PM   #340
Need my Daily Fix of RS
 
n1smo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Richmond
Posts: 260
Thanked 4 Times in 3 Posts
when im sad i cut myself









........another slice of cake!
n1smo is offline  
Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 06-10-2010, 11:47 AM   #341
HELP ME PLS!!!
 
Greenstoner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 5,645
Thanked 1,816 Times in 450 Posts
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when
they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same
ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink." The female whale agreed, so they tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore! The male whale was enraged that they were going to get away and said to the female, "Quick! Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they get to the shore!" At this point, he realized the female whale was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."
Greenstoner is offline  
Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 06-10-2010, 11:51 AM   #342
HELP ME PLS!!!
 
Greenstoner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 5,645
Thanked 1,816 Times in 450 Posts
A little boy goes up to his father and asks: "Dad, what's the difference between hypothetical and reality?"

The father replies: "Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs and ask your mother if she'd have sex with the mailman for $500,000."

The boy goes and asks his mother: "Mom, would you have sex with the mailman for $500,000?" The mother replies: "Hell yes I would!"

The little boy returns to his father: "Dad, she said 'Hell yes I would!'"

The father then says: "Okay, now go and ask your older sister if she'd have sex with her principal for $500,000."

The boy asks his sister: "Would you have sex with your principal for $500,000?" The sister replies: "Hell yes I would!"

He returns to his father: "Dad, she said 'Hell yes I would!'"

The father answers: "Okay son, here's the deal: Hypothetically, we're millionaires, but in reality, we're just living with a couple of whores."
Greenstoner is offline  
Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 06-10-2010, 11:58 AM   #343
Rider
 
gdoh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Surrey
Posts: 3,266
Thanked 2,074 Times in 528 Posts
Little Johnny went to school one day and was sitting in class when the
teacher asked, "Who can use the word contagious in a sentence?"

So little Johnny's arm shot up and he wanted to answer the question
really badly but the teacher, unsure of the response, asked little Maggie.
Little Maggie quickly stood up and said "My sister has a cold and it's
contagious" to which the teacher responded "Good answer!"

Then the teacher asked again "Can anyone use the word contagious in a
sentence?" Again little Johnny's arm shot up and again the teacher
overlooked Johnny and opted for another student, Mark.

Mark quickly stood up and said "If you have the measles you are
contagious" "Very good!" was the response from the teacher.

So the teacher feeling bad for overlooking little Johnny said "Go ahead
little Johnny if you can use the word contagious in a sentence we would
all like to hear it."

So little Johnny stood up and said "Well me and my dad were out on the
porch one day and my mom was mowing the lawn. After 5 minutes of mowing
the lawn my mom came and sat down and had a beer, and my dad said "Go mow
the lawn!" So my mom she went and mowed the lawn. After another 5
minutes of mowing the lawn my mom came back and sat down and had another
beer, so my dad said "Go mow the lawn!" So my mom she went to mow the
lawn again. My dad turned to me and said "Son it's going to take that
cunt ages to mow the lawn!"
gdoh is offline  
Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 06-10-2010, 12:55 PM   #344
HELP ME PLS!!!
 
Greenstoner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 5,645
Thanked 1,816 Times in 450 Posts
^what ? i dont really get it
Greenstoner is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2010, 01:06 PM   #345
My homepage has been set to RS
 
joquio's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Burnaby
Posts: 2,198
Thanked 590 Times in 213 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by gdoh View Post
Little Johnny went to school one day and was sitting in class when the
teacher asked, "Who can use the word contagious in a sentence?"

So little Johnny's arm shot up and he wanted to answer the question
really badly but the teacher, unsure of the response, asked little Maggie.
Little Maggie quickly stood up and said "My sister has a cold and it's
contagious" to which the teacher responded "Good answer!"

Then the teacher asked again "Can anyone use the word contagious in a
sentence?" Again little Johnny's arm shot up and again the teacher
overlooked Johnny and opted for another student, Mark.

Mark quickly stood up and said "If you have the measles you are
contagious" "Very good!" was the response from the teacher.

So the teacher feeling bad for overlooking little Johnny said "Go ahead
little Johnny if you can use the word contagious in a sentence we would
all like to hear it."

So little Johnny stood up and said "Well me and my dad were out on the
porch one day and my mom was mowing the lawn. After 5 minutes of mowing
the lawn my mom came and sat down and had a beer, and my dad said "Go mow
the lawn!" So my mom she went and mowed the lawn. After another 5
minutes of mowing the lawn my mom came back and sat down and had another
beer, so my dad said "Go mow the lawn!" So my mom she went to mow the
lawn again. My dad turned to me and said "Son it's going to take that
cunt ages to mow the lawn!"
There
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Valour View Post
It may seem like peanuts to you, but you know what else is the size of a peanut? your anus. and when somebody wants to fuck u up your anus, I shall fight.

Unlike some who shall present and loudly proclaim "Have at it master!"
joquio is offline  
Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 06-10-2010, 04:22 PM   #346
RS.net, where our google ads make absolutely no sense!
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: vancouver
Posts: 964
Thanked 408 Times in 85 Posts
Not really a joke... :

Teacher: So y = r cubed over 3. And if you determine the rate of change in this curve correctly, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
The class laughs except for Bart who appears confused.
Teacher: Don't you get it, Bart? Derivative dy = 3 r squared dr over 3, or r squared dr, or r dr r
__________________
Give them nothing, but take from them... EVERYTHING!!! - King Leonides


7seven: I really can't stand all these idiots who hit the gym now just because they watched 300 and want to be like a spartan. Case in point, this skinny guy comes into the gym the other day, must have only weighed ~ 140lbs, loads on 2 plates on the bench rack, mutters to himself, for sparta, unracks the barbell and proceeds to drop it directly on his chest.
Valour is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2010, 09:41 PM   #347
Banned (ABWS)
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Mid-levels, HK
Posts: 913
Thanked 1,335 Times in 197 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Valour View Post
Not really a joke... :

Teacher: So y = r cubed over 3. And if you determine the rate of change in this curve correctly, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
The class laughs except for Bart who appears confused.
Teacher: Don't you get it, Bart? Derivative dy = 3 r squared dr over 3, or r squared dr, or r dr r
the fuck?

y(r) = (r^3)(1/3)
dy/dr = r^2

404 funny not found
Zyzz is offline  
Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 06-11-2010, 03:01 AM   #348
MG1
Fathered more RS members than anybody else. Who's your daddy?
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 18,050
Thanked 7,728 Times in 3,027 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by vsvs View Post
404 funny not found
r dr r
__________________
"Youth is Wasted on the Young"

RS - helping FOB's blend in with Canadian society and culture since its inception. god bless
MG1 is online now  
Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 06-11-2010, 09:49 AM   #349
RS.net PIMP
 
7seven's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Vancouver/LA
Posts: 4,889
Thanked 3,029 Times in 821 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by vsvs View Post
the fuck?

y(r) = (r^3)(1/3)
dy/dr = r^2

404 funny not found



__________________

13 Range Rover SC
11 Yukon Hybrid
13 Accord V6 Coupe
7seven is online now  
Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 06-16-2010, 11:48 AM   #350
Better safe than Surrey
 
OTG-ZR2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Main St.
Posts: 1,503
Thanked 911 Times in 235 Posts
A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately.

When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is full and bushy.

“Are you the manager?” she asks, softly stroking his face. With both hands.

“Actually, no” he replies.

“Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him.” she asks, running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair.

“I’m afraid I can’t” breathes the barman – clearly aroused. “Is there anything I can do?”

“Yes there is. I need you to give him a message” she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

“Tell him” she says “that there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room.”
OTG-ZR2 is offline  
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 08:11 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
SEO by vBSEO ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.
Revscene.net cannot be held accountable for the actions of its members nor does the opinions of the members represent that of Revscene.net