when's the best time to ask for a 2nd date? or am i stuck in the friendship zone?

[blackjack101]

well took bits of the advice of what everyone suggested and this is what happened.
(anyone that doesn't want to read on its nothing big)

I called her on wenesday, no answer left a msg and went out to do other things. later as i was driving home i just realized my phone was ringing but couldn't pickup on time and went to my voicemail. I didn't bother calling her back cause i don't like to cell and drive at the same time. by the time i got home called her back and no answer. So she didn't call back that night. Today after work i called her and no answer, wasn't thinking of anything cause i knew she would call back. well she did and we talk for a bit and i asked her if she wanted to go get dessert tomorrow. she said she was busy. so we continued talking then ended up with silence (doh forget to end it on time) but then she said yea i gotta go study. Then i did a quick thought... should i ask her if she's available on sat? or forget about it.... well what do i have to lose if she made this "excuse" why not test what she says bout saturday. so i asked her and she said she might be busy.... Then i said aight well then i'll talk to later. convo ends...

so what do you people think? lost cause? wait and see if she calls back on saturday?

One more question thats a bit off topic, When you ask a person out, do you say (name) do you want to go on date? dinner and movie? or you ask (name) wanna go out and eat dinner and watch a movie?

thank you

[BoneThug]

i dunno, but for next time you ask if she wants to go do something either mid or at the end of the convo. obviously the only reason you called for was to ask her out but you cant treat it like that. you gotta talk to her, show you are interested and can hold a conversation on the phone (else how will you do it in person) then make plans. I just had to do this recently, had a 1st date yesterday, and though she asked me out, she did what i would do. brought up how this sick movie called watchmen just came out.; we talk about how we both want to see it and then we decide to go together. going to a movie makes for lame dates, but if you dont know how to phrase it: talk about eating and ish and then ask if she wants to try the food at this great little place you heard about. dont ask if she wants to go on a date and be super formal. be fun and spontaneous; even a little nervous, but still confident.

i dunno. in all honesty the best thing to do is try and fail. you'll learn more from your own mistakes then you ever will from us.

[miss_crayon]

Originally Posted by blackjack101

well took bits of the advice of what everyone suggested and this is what happened.
(anyone that doesn't want to read on its nothing big)

I called her on wenesday, no answer left a msg and went out to do other things. later as i was driving home i just realized my phone was ringing but couldn't pickup on time and went to my voicemail. I didn't bother calling her back cause i don't like to cell and drive at the same time. by the time i got home called her back and no answer. So she didn't call back that night. Today after work i called her and no answer, wasn't thinking of anything cause i knew she would call back. well she did and we talk for a bit and i asked her if she wanted to go get dessert tomorrow. she said she was busy. so we continued talking then ended up with silence (doh forget to end it on time) but then she said yea i gotta go study. Then i did a quick thought... should i ask her if she's available on sat? or forget about it.... well what do i have to lose if she made this "excuse" why not test what she says bout saturday. so i asked her and she said she might be busy.... Then i said aight well then i'll talk to later. convo ends...

so what do you people think? lost cause? wait and see if she calls back on saturday?

One more question thats a bit off topic, When you ask a person out, do you say (name) do you want to go on date? dinner and movie? or you ask (name) wanna go out and eat dinner and watch a movie?

thank you

lost cause. if anyone is interested but isn't able to make a suggested date, he/she will usually say "i am sorry i can't on ____, but i'd love to meet another day when we're both free." her answer was so vague which makes me think she didn't want to outright reject you so she played the "i think i'm gonna be busy" card to lessen the blow.

i think it's time to move on. if you're really that persistent of wanting to go out with her, you can always keep her in the back of your mind but still keep yourself open to knowing other girls. that's the greatness of dating around. use it to your advantage when you're still single.

and you don't need to use names, but this is really just up to the person. if you want to, go for it. there's no right and wrong for this one.

[Culture_Vulture]

Originally Posted by blackjack101

well took bits of the advice of what everyone suggested and this is what happened.
(anyone that doesn't want to read on its nothing big)

I called her on wenesday, no answer left a msg and went out to do other things. later as i was driving home i just realized my phone was ringing but couldn't pickup on time and went to my voicemail. I didn't bother calling her back cause i don't like to cell and drive at the same time. by the time i got home called her back and no answer. So she didn't call back that night. Today after work i called her and no answer, wasn't thinking of anything cause i knew she would call back. well she did and we talk for a bit and i asked her if she wanted to go get dessert tomorrow. she said she was busy. so we continued talking then ended up with silence (doh forget to end it on time) but then she said yea i gotta go study. Then i did a quick thought... should i ask her if she's available on sat? or forget about it.... well what do i have to lose if she made this "excuse" why not test what she says bout saturday. so i asked her and she said she might be busy.... Then i said aight well then i'll talk to later. convo ends...

so what do you people think? lost cause? wait and see if she calls back on saturday?

I don't think it's a lost cause.
If it was a lost cause then she wouldn't have called you back.
I will say however, that I don't think you have her as tightly on the hook as you did before.

Originally Posted by BoneThug

i dunno. in all honesty the best thing to do is try and fail. you'll learn more from your own mistakes then you ever will from us.

what he said.

Originally Posted by blackjack101

One more question thats a bit off topic, When you ask a person out, do you say (name) do you want to go on date? dinner and movie? or you ask (name) wanna go out and eat dinner and watch a movie?

thank you

It's really up to you. If you can deliver it with personality and confidence, I don't think the wording matters much.
What I like to do is say: "Hey, how would you like to go ______ on *date*?"
That way, if she says yes, then cool. If she replies you with something like "are you asking me out?", you can reply her as-a-matter-of-factly, "No, I'm just trying to have some fun. I'm telling you ou can tag along if you really want to."

[Durrann1984]

Originally Posted by Physixx

It's really up to you. If you can deliver it with personality and confidence, I don't think the wording matters much.
What I like to do is say: "Hey, how would you like to go ______ on *date*?"
That way, if she says yes, then cool. If she replies you with something like "are you asking me out?", you can reply her as-a-matter-of-factly, "No, I'm just trying to have some fun. I'm telling you ou can tag along if you really want to."

u know some guys r so confident..

when girls ask "are you asking me out?"

guys go "yeah i am" in a confident one

or

"depends, if ur fun"

some gurls like it straight up..right?

[Culture_Vulture]

Originally Posted by Durrann1984

u know some guys r so confident..

when girls ask "are you asking me out?"

guys go "yeah i am" in a confident one

or

"depends, if ur fun"

some gurls like it straight up..right?

Yeah I think it works that way depending on the girl.
Nothing is surefire about every girl.
and I've highlighted the most important part of your post.

[blackjack101]

Bonethug: your absolutely right. I've done exactly what you said but with other girls in person though not on the phone. I should of thought of that before But i'll def take that to account cause i think that never fails but what i also think that the person would think o its just "a friend inviting me to this awesome place" then again i could be overthinking.

Miss Crayon: hmmm lost cause eh. o wellz i'll just keep her at the back of my head but i'll still try. Not gonna try as hard as before, but somewhat contact her once and awhile and see how things go. The day isnt over yet so we'll see O and what i meant wasn't if i should input a "name" i was just wondering if i should input the word "date" or not. but physixx and Durrann1984 got it covered

Physixx: I think its somewhat a lost cause, not entirely, but she's asian... and i'm into asian and out most that i've asked out they always can't give a straight fucking answer... "maybe", "idk I might be busy" or some other bs excuse. only one asianl girl gave me a straight answer and i almost fell for her but didn't work out. anyways you have a point bout that woudn't have called back. some girls i've tried calling they don't bother calling back or they just txt me back. So i may not have her tightly on the hook yet or she could be really nice? who knows. Personally I've only said "would you like to go on date" to one girl and she was the one that would always give a straight answer and she said yes. But i only said that cause i knew she was interested in me. But what you said "It's really up to you. If you can deliver it with personality and confidence, I don't think the wording matters much." I agree.


Durrann1984: I prefer to be straight and say yes but its also depending on the girl. But from now on i ain't gonna over think. its either "yes" or spoon feed her BS.

So basically right now I'll keep looking around and at the same time keep her in the back of my mind. call her idk, twice a week, ask her if she wants to do anything on the weekend or something. basically i'll go with a 3 strike rule, if there all the busy excuse crap or something else then yep time to move on.

thanks for the replys

[Baley]

when you think is right