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Go Back   REVscene Automotive Forum > Vancouver LifeStyles (VLS) > Relationship & Gender Discussion

The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 03-25-2009, 01:53 AM   #1
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[Confidential] Need Help

The following is a submission from an Anonymous Revscene member. If the original poster would like to reply to this thread feel free to message me privately

i want to tell this guy that ive dated before that i still have feelings for him. we've been talking a lot lately and sometimes it seems like there is still something there. he talks to me a lot on msn and sometimes stays up and talks to me but never calls or texts. other times it seems like he knows i like him and is bothered by it (but then he still talks to me...) it seems like he is careful to not lead me on.
i've never stopped liking him this whole year(since we stopped dating) and i want to just tell him how i feel. thing is, we've been through a whole bunch of shit and hes never been able to deal with it maturely. he either ignores me or pretend it's not there.
another reason why i want to tell him is because as long as i am talkin to him, i will always like him. I dont wanna waste more time on him because he doesnt deserve it. i know he doesnt care for me as much as i care for him at all. it's just hard because when you have such strong feelings about someone it's hard to move on. i want to know once and for all.
i really..really..really genuinely care about him and want to be with him. not be in a relationship but i just wanna try things out again. i was thinking maybe if he rejects me i will be easier to move on too? i never really got closure from it before. it's like he always wants to talk to me for the longest time on msn but he never wants to see me. even trying to be fwb didnt work between us. (and im an attractive girl so W T F?) we made out once he liked it and we talked about how we would try it agn but after that we stopped talking about it...
i just dont know what to do anymore.. i didnt know i could care about one person so much and i've never felt that way about anyone before.
should i talk to him about it? or should i keep trying to be friends with him and move on?

how do guys react when girls tell them how they feel? especially if there was sth there before? is it possible for that feeling to just be gone? would most be willing to try it out again?
thank you!

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Old 03-25-2009, 02:10 AM   #2
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the situation went stale on his end a long time ago, sorry to tell you. From your current position over MSN no, i highly doubt you can re-kindle the flame.

what you need is closure so you can move on - if you cut and run w/out a definite answer, you'll always wonder maybe.

Do what you need to do to get your answer. Be blunt, be tactful, doesnt matter, just let him know how you feel. If he rejects you, which he might, it will be exactly what you need to move on.

do NOT keep trying to be friends with him and try to move on without making your move.
I'd suggest doing it in person. If you have ANY hope of him agreeing and starting out again with you, seeing him in person is the least you can do to re-start it.
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Old 03-25-2009, 08:50 AM   #3
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It seems like he doesn't really want to be anything but friends if he just wants to talk to you on MSN.
It's pretty common for friends to just stay up late and chat but the fact that he doesn't want to see you pretty much shows that he doesn't want it to get awkward or wants to avoid seeing you for some other reason.
Just because you were FWB, it doesn't really mean anything, it clearly didn't work out for a reason.
So you should just tell him how you feel if it's really bothering you, there's really nothing to lose, you either still have feelings for each other or you can finally move on.
Be proactive or you'll keep thinking about it and get stressed out.

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Old 03-25-2009, 09:21 AM   #4
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you'd have to say why you broke up. depending on what it was there might be a chance. or there might be no chance.

also one of you will always like one more then the other does. this time it just so happens to be you.

and finally, are you sure you dont just want him cause you cant have him?
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Old 03-25-2009, 09:29 AM   #5
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tell him straight up how you feel and do it in person, you'll get your answer then.
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Old 03-25-2009, 10:59 AM   #6
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it really depends on how the relationship ended

personally, if my relationship ended, there is a reason why it happened. being friends is alright, but i don't see it being anything more than that

in a situation right now where my ex keeps on calling to hang out and stuff, i don't mind it if its friendly, but if it was anything more, i wouldn't go, which is why i still haven't met up with her yet
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Old 03-25-2009, 12:04 PM   #7
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MSN is a horrible tool to build relationships of any type.

Text can easily be misunderstood, and too many external factors are present where they wouldn't be on the phone, or (more preferably) in person.

If you have feelings for him, you should call him out. You may be surprised to find out that he might not be the same person he is on MSN--even after having dated him.
This may be for better or for worse, but if you keep doing what you do, then you'll keep getting what you get: nothing.
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Old 03-25-2009, 01:14 PM   #8
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get it done.

Seriously i know it wont' turn out good. the fact he's immature and unable to deal with wahtever situation you said from before just shows there's a 'gap' between you too.

What you're look for is closure. Sit him down, one on one, tell him you like him, you expect nothing more nothing less. You like the feeling of chatting on MSN and you want to know if she's ready for a relationship.

To tell you the truth I've done this before, and it went very well. Very well as in, I let it out, she was happy I did and we are just friends. To know that you have to do the 'speech', it's already a guarantee fail. It does help you get closure.

good luck
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Old 03-27-2009, 12:21 PM   #9
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So you guys only chat on MSN? Did u guys go out at all?

Arragne to meet him and have a little chat with him about it. Maybe he still have feelings for you too but just doesn't know how to explain it or mention it to you. Maybe he still likes you but feel you won't like him so he is hidding his feelings becasue he is scare that you might never talk to him again once he tells you that. Maybe there are some things he is still trying to figure out?

Talk to him face to face for sure.
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Old 03-27-2009, 02:31 PM   #10
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When all is said and done, I'm expecting sexy results.
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Old 03-29-2009, 04:53 PM   #11
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Old 03-29-2009, 06:26 PM   #12
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go down on him and work ur magic like ur life depended on it
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Old 03-30-2009, 03:50 PM   #13
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This is why you shouldn't talk to exes.
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