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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex... |
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06-30-2009, 03:03 PM
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#51 | | I subscribe to Revscene
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by The7even  Heres the deal.
Most of you are delusional. At some point in your life, you have to set a boundary. You can't always do what you did as friends when you were little.
Marriage isn't for fucking toddlers or retards, that is why many people break up now-days anyway.
So here is some advice for ALL of you.
If you wan't to hang out with her, you need to be okay with her bringing her husband along, EVERY TIME. If you don't like that, something is wrong with YOU and that is that. Her husband has EVERY right to be asking questions and w/e else he fucking wants to.. its his woman.
You need to find a new best friend. She has a bigger priority now.. her husband, kids and etc.
If you are fucking serious about marriage, you WILL include your SO into EVERYTHING. Period. Otherwise it will not work.
Most of you are fucking stupid and retarded. I fucking said it. You idiots expect to do shit your way all the fucking time. It doesn't work that way.
If your wife was spending time with some fucker behind your back you would be pretty suspicious too. The wife is wrong for blaming it on you, as it is her fault as well.
No, this is not 1760, but it sure is 2009, where like 3/4 of the marriages fail within the first 5-10 years... some even sooner than that.
I don't give a shit what any of you have to add to this, you're all wrong if you disagree with what I've said. You can't hide shit from your SO and you need to GROW THE FUCK UP. This isn't god damn fucking preschool. Nor is it fucking cute to be doing this shit. | im late to this thread, but he is right. and im surprised it took this long for someone to say this fact. when you are an adult and binded by marriage, relationships will change (friendship). there is something called a constraint placed on the husband and the wife. you're no longer a "free" individual; you are actually under a set of rules that govern how you can act. for example, the "friend" in the OP's situation cannot expect to hang out the same as before the marriage. it just does not happen. the wife has a set of rules/constraints that she must abide to, or else there may be problems down the road.
it's true that a lot of people on this forum does not agree with what The7even said. it's also true that a lot of marriages end up in a divorce in our society. maybe the previous 2 sentences have a correlation. hint.
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06-30-2009, 06:31 PM
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#52 | | HELP ME PLS!!!
Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 5,542
Thanked 652 Times in 346 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by The7even Heres the deal.
Most of you are delusional. At some point in your life, you have to set a boundary. You can't always do what you did as friends when you were little.
Marriage isn't for fucking toddlers or retards, that is why many people break up now-days anyway.
So here is some advice for ALL of you.
If you wan't to hang out with her, you need to be okay with her bringing her husband along, EVERY TIME. If you don't like that, something is wrong with YOU and that is that. Her husband has EVERY right to be asking questions and w/e else he fucking wants to.. its his woman.
You need to find a new best friend. She has a bigger priority now.. her husband, kids and etc.
If you are fucking serious about marriage, you WILL include your SO into EVERYTHING. Period. Otherwise it will not work.
Most of you are fucking stupid and retarded. I fucking said it. You idiots expect to do shit your way all the fucking time. It doesn't work that way.
If your wife was spending time with some fucker behind your back you would be pretty suspicious too. The wife is wrong for blaming it on you, as it is her fault as well.
No, this is not 1760, but it sure is 2009, where like 3/4 of the marriages fail within the first 5-10 years... some even sooner than that.
I don't give a shit what any of you have to add to this, you're all wrong if you disagree with what I've said. You can't hide shit from your SO and you need to GROW THE FUCK UP. This isn't god damn fucking preschool. Nor is it fucking cute to be doing this shit. | I don't fuckin mind that. As much as a douchebag I think he is, I had even asked her to bring her husband along to our dinner sessions in the past on MULTIPLE occasions, so that I can have the opportunity to get acquainted with him, but she never bothered. What am I suppose to do?
And by the way, things were always like this dating back before their marriage, he's gets jealous of ANY guy that hangs out with her, it's not specific to me.
In the end, I think it's best for both of us to just stop chillin anymore. As I don't wish to cause any further damage to their marriage. Case closed!
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06-30-2009, 06:34 PM
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#53 | | HELP ME PLS!!!
Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Vancouver
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Originally Posted by np3player theres nothing wrong with hanging out with her just because she's married. But, being her best friend, if you knew shes sneaking around to hang out with you, you shoulda been the first person to tell her what she is doing is wrong. You should be trying to help her marriage... And if you ever pressured her to hang out with you, then you are just lame~
but it concerns me that he's been around for 8 years and you guys hvnt all become frnds... I mean if you're her best frnd. i'll have to agree with what was said before about her using you to feel single and side with those who say you should back off~ | I've always been the first person to tell her to tell him about me, but the fact is she never mustered enough courage to accomplish that. I am trying to help her marriage, it's always been like that, but she never listens.
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06-30-2009, 07:02 PM
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#54 | | Hypa owned my ass at least once
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Originally Posted by willystyle In the end, I think it's best for both of us to just stop chillin anymore. As I don't wish to cause any further damage to their marriage. Case closed! | Quote:
Originally Posted by willystyle I've always been the first person to tell her to tell him about me, but the fact is she never mustered enough courage to accomplish that. I am trying to help her marriage, it's always been like that, but she never listens. | Drama!!!!!!!!
Why were you trying to force yourself into her life anyways. C'mon dude, her life has moved on. People grow. Let the married couple be.
You make it sound like there's she's committed some serious crime of friendship here. It's like she has to meet your minimum requirements or risk devaluing your friendship. You're sound like a pretty high maintenance friend.
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06-30-2009, 08:17 PM
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#55 | | HELP ME PLS!!!
Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Vancouver
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I'm not forcing myself into her life. What are you talking about? I've already said that I should move on, and let them be. You lack comprehension skills or something?
If you don't know me, don't make false accusations of me.
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06-30-2009, 08:54 PM
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#56 | | Banned By Establishment
Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Burnaby
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If you already knew the right thing to do then there is no reason to post this and not be expected to get flamed on. Stupid fuckface.
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06-30-2009, 09:01 PM
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#57 | | HELP ME PLS!!!
Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Vancouver
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If I already knew the answer to my dilemma. I wouldn't have made this topic. It's obvious that I didn't made up my mind at the time, smartass.
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06-30-2009, 09:07 PM
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#58 | | Banned By Establishment
Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Burnaby
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Then why argue back when you know most of us are right.
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06-30-2009, 10:40 PM
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#59 | | Hypa owned my ass at least once
Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Japan
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Originally Posted by willystyle You lack comprehension skills or something? | Defensive much? Actually, it's you who doesn't have a clue. 
No wonder you made this thread. You lash out when you don't get what you want. Earlier, when you didn't get what you want from your friend and so you had to make a post that villifies her, her husband, their marriage; And now when people call you out for your errors instead of the married couple.
No wonder your friend bitched at you. If you haven't realized, it's pretty self-centered of you to challenge the husband's priority over a friend's. (long history withstanding or not)
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07-01-2009, 12:04 AM
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#60 | | RS Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: GTA
Posts: 29,009
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Originally Posted by nonamehustla If you already knew the right thing to do then there is no reason to post this and not be expected to get flamed on. Stupid fuckface. | That is priceless. 
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by Badhobz Yeah. Typical Mainlander Barbie doll.
Her car even smelled nice. Like a mixture of luxury perfume and a hint of….. vag ? Fish sauce ? Something a bit dank | | 
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07-01-2009, 12:21 AM
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#61 | | Not a mod
Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Surrey
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My interpretation of this:
willy has the hots for the friend,
friend knows that willy is a douche,
friend gets married to another dude,
willy is jealous of the guy hence the hate,
willy resorts to the role of the creepy friend in the hopes that he can get with the friend at a later day
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07-01-2009, 08:29 AM
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#62 | | RS.net, where our google ads make absolutely no sense!
Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 912
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by SoulCrusher My interpretation of this:
willy has the hots for the friend,
friend knows that willy is a douche,
friend gets married to another dude,
willy is jealous of the guy hence the hate,
willy resorts to the role of the creepy friend in the hopes that he can get with the friend at a later day | agreed
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07-02-2009, 09:02 AM
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#63 | | Where's my RS Christmas Lobster?!
Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: vancouver
Posts: 888
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to the OP:
I Think everyone has said it best, that you'll need to stay away from her until one day this can be cleared up, and maybe she'll come to you.
I have friends who married that I no longer talk to, men or women. Because I know they're busy with their lives/kid/job so I know that they'll come to me when they are more available. And if they dont? oh well, we had some good times.
Every friend is disposable IMO. The ones that are worth keeping are the ones that actually call every couple months to check up on ya. "Cuz u know then that they still care, despite the lack of time to be able to spend with you.
GL.
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07-02-2009, 11:28 AM
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#64 | | HELP ME PLS!!!
Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: vancouver
Posts: 5,688
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by BallPeenHammer to the OP:
I Think everyone has said it best, that you'll need to stay away from her until one day this can be cleared up, and maybe she'll come to you.
I have friends who married that I no longer talk to, men or women. Because I know they're busy with their lives/kid/job so I know that they'll come to me when they are more available. And if they dont? oh well, we had some good times.
Every friend is disposable IMO. The ones that are worth keeping are the ones that actually call every couple months to check up on ya. "Cuz u know then that they still care, despite the lack of time to be able to spend with you.
GL. | this should go both ways though, you should also call them to see whats up too.
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07-02-2009, 11:36 AM
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#65 | | NEWBIE ACCOUNT!
Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Calgary
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I agree with BPH. Friends will come and go, sometimes out of your control. Give this lady space. Women are different. Guys like to fix things and the more we try, the worst it gets.
Time will allow things to sort itself out.
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07-02-2009, 11:40 AM
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#66 | | Where's my RS Christmas Lobster?!
Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: vancouver
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3xtra - noted. I usually just leave a text or 2 of course.
but some reply, some never do
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07-02-2009, 01:04 PM
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#67 | | Banned (BBM)
Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: van
Posts: 1,067
Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by SoulCrusher My interpretation of this:
willy has the hots for the friend,
friend knows that willy is a douche,
friend gets married to another dude,
willy is jealous of the guy hence the hate,
willy resorts to the role of the creepy friend in the hopes that he can get with the friend at a later day | BAM!
ohh willy's gonna be mad when he sees this | |
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07-02-2009, 03:32 PM
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#68 | | Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: vancouver
Posts: 1,935
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wow there are a lot of assholes on RS
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07-02-2009, 03:43 PM
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#69 | | Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: North Vancouver
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A double date would have been a more sensible option. If any1 should be pissed its her husband. Y wouldnt she tell him if you r both innocent. Its like shes trying to hide deeper feelings.
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07-02-2009, 04:34 PM
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#70 | | Banned By Establishment
Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Burnaby
Posts: 1,171
Thanked 398 Times in 71 Posts
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Originally Posted by liu13 wow there are a lot of assholes on RS | No. They are called liu13 impersonators. Haha I guess I just proved your point but what can I say, your my idol.
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07-02-2009, 07:22 PM
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#71 | | Ready to be Man handled by RS!
Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Vancouver
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Looks to me like your 'friend' sold you down the river once her cover was blown (the txt msg). She was the one hiding the fact that you two were hanging out, and if she can't own up to that, it's clear that your friendship isn't as strong as it once was.
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07-02-2009, 07:41 PM
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#72 | | I *heart* Revscene.net very Muchie
Join Date: May 2004 Location: Edmonton
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Originally Posted by nonamehustla If you already knew the right thing to do then there is no reason to post this and not be expected to get flamed on. Stupid fuckface. | This guys awesome  but's he's right too!
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07-03-2009, 08:31 AM
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#73 | | VLS Pet Forum Mod
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Langley, BC
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Originally Posted by willystyle I don't fuckin mind that. As much as a douchebag I think he is, I had even asked her to bring her husband along to our dinner sessions in the past on MULTIPLE occasions, so that I can have the opportunity to get acquainted with him, but she never bothered. What am I suppose to do?
And by the way, things were always like this dating back before their marriage, he's gets jealous of ANY guy that hangs out with her, it's not specific to me.
In the end, I think it's best for both of us to just stop chillin anymore. As I don't wish to cause any further damage to their marriage. Case closed! | See that would have set off a red flag to me. You had asked to be able to include her husband, so that you could get to know him and she still keeps him in the dark and lies. Hate to say it but your "good friend" is using you.
I think your right to back away slowly and not get caught in the tangle web.
Good for you for trying to salvage the situation though, and for realizing her decision to have things they way they were was not healthy
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