Relationship & Gender Discussion THIS SPACE OPEN FOR ADVERTISEMENT. YOU SHOULD BE ADVERTISING HERE!
The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex... |
 | 
08-01-2009, 02:15 AM
|
#1 | | Official Texas Ambassador
Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 10,333
Thanked 5,671 Times in 1,324 Posts
| [Confidential] Perma-bachelor
The following is an Anonymous submission from a Revscene member. If the OP would like to respond to anything said in this thread, please PM me.
so... I'm not the sort to usually ask advice, and I don't really know any of you to directly listen to anyways, but maybe I just need assurance I am not crazy...
I have this...long term issue. I seem to date girls that are wonderful in many to all aspects, but I can't choose to settle.
I always seem distracted by the "new" or other...which causes me to break up and try again...which leads to the whole thing again...
Please if you are going to offer advise, don't just say I haven't found the "one". The fact is, I have dated many the amazing girl, but after a while I never seemed satisfied, despite her meeting all my condition of a "perfect mate". It just seems like I am a professional bachelor....
Anyone else have this issue? How did you "help yourself"?
| 
|  | |
08-01-2009, 03:47 AM
|
#2 | | Banned By Establishment
Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Richmond
Posts: 12,484
Thanked 2,091 Times in 773 Posts
|
stop clubbing and putting yourself in situations where you're meeting new "exciting" (different) people.
| |
| | |
08-01-2009, 07:24 AM
|
#3 | | I WANT MY 10 YEARS BACK FROM RS.net!
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 20,389
Thanked 7,448 Times in 1,438 Posts
|
no one eats at the same restaurant every single day.
| |
| | |
08-01-2009, 09:20 AM
|
#4 | | VLS Pet Forum Mod
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Langley, BC
Posts: 1,257
Thanked 39 Times in 31 Posts
|
Stop looking for girls that meet some sort of criteria you have. Go out and do something social that you would never do. I know you said don't say it but really none of these are the 'one'. They are what you have mentally decided your other half should be. Stop thinking it through. Just go out do stuff you normally wouldn't, take up a new hobby and stop looking. The one that will keep your attention will be the least likely to fit the model you have made. Be glad that you have met so many interesting ppl and hopefully you will continue to do so. Like I said though throw out that list.
__________________
Mother of MisFit.
| |
| | |
08-01-2009, 09:29 AM
|
#5 | | My homepage has been set to RS
Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Edmonton, AB
Posts: 2,451
Thanked 186 Times in 80 Posts
|
As per Dan Savage: In order to settle down, you have to settle for.
Keep in mind, this is a two way road. You're settling for someone, knowing that there MAY be something better out there. They are also doing the same for you.
__________________ Quote: Originally posted by CRS
I would make a comment in regards to your intelligence but I don't think that you would appreciate the full mockery of that comment.
In other words..
I would love to insult you but you wouldn't understand. | | |
| | |
08-01-2009, 10:37 AM
|
#6 | | Director of RS Cares
Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Crayon Box
Posts: 5,175
Thanked 605 Times in 282 Posts
|
i just don't think you are ready to commit. it's not a bad thing cause everyone at one point in their lifetime will go through this. you find someone you are interested in but then once you land what you want your mind start to wander because you are still curious about the other fish in the sea.
__________________  tiptronic: getting cut off by bicycles since 2007
| |
| | |
08-02-2009, 02:30 AM
|
#7 | | Hypa owned my ass at least once
Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Japan
Posts: 6,745
Thanked 1,314 Times in 540 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by El Bastardo  The following is an Anonymous submission from a Revscene member. If the OP would like to respond to anything said in this thread, please PM me.
so... I'm not the sort to usually ask advice, and I don't really know any of you to directly listen to anyways, but maybe I just need assurance I am not crazy...
I have this...long term issue. I seem to date girls that are wonderful in many to all aspects, but I can't choose to settle.
I always seem distracted by the "new" or other...which causes me to break up and try again...which leads to the whole thing again...
Please if you are going to offer advise, don't just say I haven't found the "one". The fact is, I have dated many the amazing girl, but after a while I never seemed satisfied, despite her meeting all my condition of a "perfect mate". It just seems like I am a professional bachelor....
Anyone else have this issue? How did you "help yourself"? | I previously had the exact train of thought as you. Don't worry, it's not a them (girls) thing, it's a you thing. It's just not your time yet.
When you're still relatively young, one tends to have lots of energy and pursue many endeavors. You'll find it very hard to settle. But trust me, you will eventually burn out and the lifestyle eventually tiresome. Every young bachelor always thinks they have the steam to last a lifetime, but is usually not the case. I was one of them and so might you in my estimation.
| |
| | |
08-02-2009, 07:36 AM
|
#8 | | Mod.
Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: east vanner
Posts: 7,134
Thanked 1,769 Times in 684 Posts
|
How old are you? Maybe you're not at that stage of you're not ready to settle in.
| |
| | |
08-04-2009, 07:58 AM
|
#9 | | Willing to sell a family member for a few minutes on RS
Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Surrey
Posts: 12,758
Thanked 688 Times in 375 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by Noir I previously had the exact train of thought as you. Don't worry, it's not a them (girls) thing, it's a you thing. It's just not your time yet.
When you're still relatively young, one tends to have lots of energy and pursue many endeavors. You'll find it very hard to settle. But trust me, you will eventually burn out and the lifestyle eventually tiresome. Every young bachelor always thinks they have the steam to last a lifetime, but is usually not the case. I was one of them and so might you in my estimation. | Agreed  | 
| | |
08-05-2009, 03:07 PM
|
#10 | | I answer every Emotion with an emoticon
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 7,760
Thanked 375 Times in 181 Posts
|
spend all ur money on a mortagage and I guarantee u dun have any money left to meet new girls
__________________
Ignorance is bliss
How I wish I can remain ignorant, why do I know so much?
| |
| | |
08-05-2009, 05:42 PM
|
#11 | | Tech Team Mod
Join Date: May 2002 Location: LoL
Posts: 4,555
Thanked 12 Times in 8 Posts
|
Sounds like me last summer year. I was having so much fun being single that I didn't even notice when the right girl came into my life. I think it is the case that you haven't found "the one". You're just waiting for the good looking girl that's not a bitch, isn't an attention whore, is intelligent, motivated, fun, active, or whatever else fits your bill.
Breaking up with a previous girl for a new one just means that the old one just didn't have enough going for her to continue the relationship. When you find a match, all the other women that you see just don't have the same appeal.
__________________
Currently in the collection:
2001 BMW M Coupe - Laguna Seca Blue
2014 Ram 1500 Sport 4x4
2003 Honda CBR 954RR | |
| | |
08-06-2009, 09:28 PM
|
#12 | | Official Texas Ambassador
Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 10,333
Thanked 5,671 Times in 1,324 Posts
| The following is a reply from the Anonymous Revscene member
Well, the thing is...I am not that young. I am actually 30. And I am pushing the mortgage and all those good things. I think a major part of it is that I am feeling like my youth is fleeting, and so I feel "real" relationships are dangerous because they could be the last one....I think I especially feel that because right now I am still able to date pretty, young girls that I almost need to, because eventually the time will come when I can't.
It's stupid and self destructive, I know..but it's exactly how I feel. The current girl I am dating is a successful, young, pretty 23 yrsold with a fun disposition. Lots of pluses, only a few minuses. I am stupid to pass this up..and yet the feeling is still always there...especially when other pretty girls make advances.
This is a stupid thing to bitch about I know, but I need to learn how to stay focused....but knowing what to do, and being able to pull it off, are completely different things.
| |
| | |
08-06-2009, 10:59 PM
|
#13 | | Hypa owned my ass at least once
Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Japan
Posts: 6,745
Thanked 1,314 Times in 540 Posts
|
Age is just a number. 30 being young is very relative and subjective. To the conservative mind, yes you are old. To the modern liberal, 30 is still fairly young. For varied reasons like ambition, fun, career, travelling, etc, some people dont settle down until their late 30's or 40's.
Chillax, you're only 30. Besides, it's not good to force yourself into things you don't want to be in. If you look at guy's like George Clooney, Gerard Butler, Al Pacino, they're fairly old and happily unmarried. Nothing wrong with that choice and that lifestyle.
| |
| | |
08-06-2009, 11:12 PM
|
#14 | | I don't get it
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 402
Thanked 65 Times in 26 Posts
|
^ All the men you described are rich, famous and fairly good looking. They can live any sort of life they choose.
For regular folk, if you want to live freely at age 30 then by all means. There is still time to screw around but don't fool yourself by continuously telling yourself that. He'll just have the same perplexities at age 35. It's the social norm to get hitched with someone, settle down, have a stable job to support your children etc. Its the common route but not THE way. Theres nothing wrong with the bachelor lifestyle but you better have the balls to withstand the social pressure and feel good about yourself down the road about it.
| |
| | |
08-07-2009, 01:00 PM
|
#15 | | I subscribe to the Fight Club ONLY
Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: BC, HK, USA
Posts: 7,339
Thanked 2,341 Times in 970 Posts
|
I'm 29 and I've date tons of chicks. I don't know about you but throughout this entire year, I haven't been able to even find someone to settle. The reason I do not want to settle because I do not think the right one has come along yet. I use to power date and be dating 4 different girls on 3 different nights. What happened at the end. Things got out of hand and I wasn't being my true self. I wasn't happy within.
Girls are a dime a dozen. You're seeing tons of fun girls and you're just partying. i guessing inside you're stilll really lonely and don't know what to do.
My solution was to stop dating and focus on yourself. I have girls who are in the same situations, power dating and just really wanting to settle, but they cant' seen to be happy when they are alone.
take the time to stop dating for 1 month and focus on your friendships. One must learn to be content with what they have,.
| |
| | |
08-07-2009, 01:04 PM
|
#16 | | Hypa owned my ass at least once
Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Japan
Posts: 6,745
Thanked 1,314 Times in 540 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by butter_sashimi ^ All the men you described are rich, famous and fairly good looking. They can live any sort of life they choose. | Well. I could name people that I know that aren't celebrities but those names would be meaningless to the OP. They're neither famous and alright in the looks dept. Not rich but fairly well-off.
| |
| | |
08-15-2009, 11:30 AM
|
#17 | | I Will not Admit my Addiction to RS
Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: North Burnaby
Posts: 509
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
|
u ever watch 2.5 men?
| |
| | |
08-15-2009, 12:14 PM
|
#18 | | reads most threads with his pants around his ankles, especially in the Forced Induction forum.
Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 10,645
Thanked 2,191 Times in 1,131 Posts
|
Be happy u got a gf. Some of us can't even find one!
| |
| | |
08-15-2009, 03:52 PM
|
#19 | | Blood tests positive for LOL mod
Join Date: May 2002 Location: World
Posts: 12,999
Thanked 1,263 Times in 325 Posts
|
This is the problem I'm going through, but I'm 5 years younger then you. Awesome girls come and go, some even stay for two years but it never goes past that. I get bored and want to move onto someone different. I wish I could give you adivce, but I'm in the same boat
| |
| | |
08-15-2009, 04:16 PM
|
#20 | | My homepage has been set to RS
Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Van City
Posts: 2,230
Thanked 9 Times in 7 Posts
|
dont change. the second you do you will regret it.
__________________
FS: 4 Michelin All season tires with 90% tread on one and 70% on the others, in great condition, good for any SUV. 235-65-R17
| |
| | |
08-17-2009, 11:01 AM
|
#21 | | Captain Happy Bubble is my Homeboy
Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Canada
Posts: 341
Thanked 49 Times in 12 Posts
|
Maybe you should stop dating girls that make moves on you.....not that there are anything wrong with them.....but if you wear the pants in the relationship all the time...it will get boring. You gotta find someone that is out of your comfort zone....someone that you would actually worry about losing because they are very able to find somone else better than you.
| |
| | |
Posting Rules
| You may not post new threads You may not post replies You may not post attachments You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
| | |
All times are GMT -8. The time now is 11:13 AM.
|
You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!
The banners on the left side and below do not show for registered users!
![[Confidential] Perma-bachelor](https://www.revscene.net/forums/iconimages/relationship-gender-discussion-17/%5Bconfidential%5D-perma-bachelor_ltr.gif)
