REVscene - Vancouver Automotive Forum

El Bastardo · 09-01-2009, 10:56 AM

The following is an Anonymous submission from a Revscene member. If the OP would like to respond to anything said in this thread, please PM me.

Met this girl, she's great, we get along amazing. I just can't commit, and I don't know why, Its so different from what im used to (fighting, drama). For some reason I just can't fall for her, everything is in place, I just cant find the confidence..

Anyone been in this situation? Feeling pretty down about it, I should be happy, I have no good reason not to be. If I don't change soon and get my shit together im going to lose her.

Nintensity · 09-01-2009, 11:11 AM

Think about the factors that are running your life right now.
Are you financially sustainable? Are you going out a lot, working a lot?
If you can't commit, maybe you're not ready at this time to start a strong relationship.

You're afraid you're going to lose her if you don't commit. That's fine. You just met this girl recently. No biggie. If you can't commit, if you can't fall for her, then she may not be 'the one'.

However, I say you should still see her from time to time. start by seeing her from time to time, but nothing too fancy [dates]. This will help you build up confidence not only with her, but with other girls that you'll see. Afterwards, if you feel that you're ready, start seeing her more often. Remember that there's no rush. Good luck!

silk · 09-01-2009, 11:17 AM

you need to spicy up that sex
and im serious

IronLeg · 09-01-2009, 11:21 AM

Damn, maybe she isn't right for you. IF everything is truly perfect then you would think you wouldn't have a problem falling for her, with that being said you don't choose the ones you fall in love with. Maybe this is your bodys way of saying no

vo_hantu · 09-01-2009, 12:22 PM

You said "It's so different from what your used to"

Because you still like your ex? or you got too hurt from previous relationships. No two relationships are the same.

tiger_handheld · 09-01-2009, 01:24 PM

maybe u r thinking it too much... why not try her out - like people said - no 2 relationships are the same...

03aspec · 09-01-2009, 04:31 PM

theres gotta be other shit thats dragging you down... are you sure that you don't like someone else instead? maybe an ex that you haven't gotten over or something?

asian_XL · 09-01-2009, 05:18 PM

it happens when things come too easily.

Just like my current gf, we get along easily and peacefully, that's why I didn't have much feeling on her in the beginning...

GoateeMe · 09-02-2009, 09:34 PM

is she ugly, fat or zitty or soemthing?

Lil Bastrd · 09-03-2009, 01:38 PM

Are you kidding me "she's perfect" lol. No person is "perfect" if that was the case they would be boring. This sounds odd but it can work find out something from her that she doesn't do well... like singing, or roller blading, etc. then plan an even around that. This way you get to see her as human and you both can have fun, she'll seem more static then flat in character. Trust me it drives my bf crazy when I start singing and dancing to corny girl songs out in public. But in the end it is a different side of me and he wouldn't change that.

Girl · 09-07-2009, 11:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by El Bastardo

The following is an Anonymous submission from a Revscene member. If the OP would like to respond to anything said in this thread, please PM me.

Met this girl, she's great, we get along amazing. I just can't commit, and I don't know why, Its so different from what im used to (fighting, drama). For some reason I just can't fall for her, everything is in place, I just cant find the confidence..

Anyone been in this situation? Feeling pretty down about it, I should be happy, I have no good reason not to be. If I don't change soon and get my shit together im going to lose her.

Sounds like you're pretty conflicted. First you say you can't commit and you don't know why, then you answer your own question by saying you don't have the confidence and you need to change. So there's obviously something within yourself that's lacking this "confidence" as you say you're lacking.

1) Never change who you are, unless it's something positive for yourself and others around you. If you're talking about your feelings, there's nothing to change! Nobody can make change the degree of like/love you have for someone, not even yourself. If it happens, great, if it doesn't then go on.

2) You make it sound like you're out of options. Have you talked to her? You speak about how both of you get along amazingly, than it must mean you two are friends. Why can't you just talk to her and make sure you two are on the same page? And after the talk make sure you are just being a FRIEND, nothing more

3) I say go with the flow, forcing something never works. Maybe you two are missing that spark, that chemistry, that "i want you" flare?

My girlfriend is in the same situation but she's at the receiving end. Her long time friend just broke up with his girlfriend of 5 years. And suddenly he's been hanging out with my girlfriend all the time, calling her, and wanting to see her like a few times a day, to a point where ppl at their work think they're going out. He ends up giving her the "I hope we're on the same page and we're just friends" speech but at the same time he's still giving her mixed signals. He'll even take the time to chill with her younger siblings who are like 9 & 10 just so he can wait for her to come home and hang out. She's super frustrated cuz she's super cool with being friends but she feels as though she's being strung along for the ride.