REVscene - Vancouver Automotive Forum

Welcome to the REVscene Automotive Forum forums.

Registration is Free!You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today! The banners on the left side and below do not show for registered users!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact contact us.

Go Back   REVscene Automotive Forum > Vancouver LifeStyles (VLS) > Relationship & Gender Discussion

The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

Thread Tools
Old 12-13-2009, 05:27 PM   #1
Official Texas Ambassador
El Bastardo's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 10,130
Thanked 5,345 Times in 1,203 Posts
[Confidential] Is she making me choose?

The following is an Anonymous submission from a Revscene member. If the OP would like to respond to anything said in this thread, please PM me.

My gf of soon to be 11 months and i have been arguing about how I put her second. When ever I want to hang out with my family, she gets mad at me. She ends up saying "you always put me second." I just wanna hang out with my family. Like family does come first?

What I'm wondering is that is she making me choose between her and my family?

Follow Revscene on Twitter
Join Revscene on Facebook

[14-01, 13:15] GLOW older the chicken, sweeter the stirfry
El Bastardo is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 12-13-2009, 05:30 PM   #2
Where's my RS Christmas Lobster?!
beetea's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 808
Thanked 26 Times in 16 Posts
Why don't you invite her to hang out with you and your family?
You can kill two birds with one stone there.
beetea is offline  
Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 12-13-2009, 05:42 PM   #3
Director of RS Cares
miss_crayon's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Crayon Box
Posts: 5,174
Thanked 599 Times in 282 Posts
i personally think she stepped out of line to be honest. you guys have been dating for less than a year and to say you put her 2nd next to your family (who has been there since the beginning of time) is ridiculous. the worst part is she gives you crap about it! i sure would hope so you put your gf one notch under them.

people can say "oh well family isn't going to grow old with you" or whatever, but lets face it...if my partner was to make me feel like i'm doing wrong by hanging out with my family....well ef it.

i say you talk to her about it because obviously this seems to bother you. a relationship needs time outs to be friends, family, can't possibly spend every living second of your life with her.
tiptronic: getting cut off by bicycles since 2007
miss_crayon is offline  
Reply With Quote
This post thanked by:
Old 12-13-2009, 05:53 PM   #4
I *heart* very Muchie
MR_BIGGS's Avatar
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Edmonton
Posts: 3,530
Thanked 665 Times in 273 Posts
If family does come first for you, as it should, tell her that, and let her know it's not about choosing one or the other. She should understand, if not, maybe not the girl for you who is family oriented?


Pick a day to "hang out" with your family and when she throws out the "you put me second" tell her you are canceling your plans with the family and hang out with her. She'll feel all special and shit.
MR_BIGGS is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 12-13-2009, 05:53 PM   #5
My homepage has been set to RS
dachinesedude's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Richmond
Posts: 2,033
Thanked 1,064 Times in 381 Posts
the girl probably has a bad relationship with her family

anyways for me its always family first, even a wife can leave your ass, family will always be there
dachinesedude is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 12-13-2009, 06:12 PM   #6
My homepage has been set to RS
jimzilla's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Van[MapleRidge]
Posts: 2,080
Thanked 418 Times in 111 Posts
Family First.

Blame it on Tiger Woods. He fucked it up for every guy.
"Son, someday you will make a girl very happy, for a short period of time.
Then she'll leave you and be with new men who are ten times better than you could ever hope to be.
These men are called Pilots."

jimzilla is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 12-13-2009, 06:33 PM   #7
Willing to sell a family member for a few minutes on RS
hotjoint's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Surrey
Posts: 12,624
Thanked 630 Times in 340 Posts
Originally Posted by nammerboi3 View Post
Why don't you invite her to hang out with you and your family?
You can kill two birds with one stone there.
hotjoint is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 12-13-2009, 07:44 PM   #8
Say! Say! Say!
Razor Ramon HG's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Japan
Posts: 13,048
Thanked 1,884 Times in 698 Posts
You've been doing the right thing OP. Family always comes first.

Like everyone else said, try inviting her to your family gatherings. If it's one of those things that it's strictly family, then you really can't do anything, but you can't say you didn't try either.
Owner of Vansterdam's 420th thanks. OH YEAUHHH.
Originally Posted by 89blkcivic View Post
Did I tell you guys black is my favourite colour? My Ridgeline is black. My Honda Fit is black. Wish my dick was black........ LOL.
Razor Ramon HG is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 12-13-2009, 08:00 PM   #9
I'm a douchetool
TOS'd's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Deutschland
Posts: 8,819
Thanked 5,026 Times in 1,480 Posts
Family first. If she isn't seeing that, chances are she is going to be a shitty parent. Drop her like shes hot, but in this case cold...and ugly.
TOS'd is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 12-13-2009, 08:08 PM   #10
NOOB, Not Quite a Regular!
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: vancity
Posts: 35
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
For me family comes first and everything else is classified secondary. Imo the girl is being a little selfish, she has to understand that in order to have a healthy long lasting relationship both sides must be happy and being human beings sometimes we become selfish. She should be more considerate to your situation, if it means a lot to you, she doesn't have to like it, but to be a good partner she must understand. From the outside looking in, if you're hanging out with your family cool, what is it that makes her feel second in your life? Is it the fact she asks you to hang out and you say you got a family thing? Or is it that its something she feels based on her own conclusions (ie other things in your life, your friends, sports, your car). It could be fault on either ends, she may feel neglected if you have many things going for you in life. It could be that she has family issues of her own, I'm not sure of the nature of her relationship with your family
Whether or not your family likes her? Sometimes individuals feel distant from an SO's family.If its a family function see if you can bring her along,
that goes for any other events or things in your life, if you include her it will make her feel that she's within the main part of your life.

And I know for some privacy is an issue, for me its the same, I don't let my gf to become part of my business/workside of life,
Such as my financial matters,accounts etc.

But if its one thing that I've said before and will say again is humans need to be accepted, I'm not a psychic I can't read minds, but I've had a friend that has felt the same as your girlfriend
and she was a girl, her boyfriend used to play hockey, hang out with his friends etc. She called me and opened up her heart to me, he was a close friend of mine and she said that she did love him and she said she was
Feeling a little jealous, a bit neglected and a bit insecure of herself, she felt he may be losing interest and at the same time she was feeling unappreciated.

It could be anything, but in a relationship you'll find out on your own and it will help you make an informed decision, but if you do feel like it take a little time and spend it with her, do something nice, it'll make her feel appreciated

And the way I view all relationships is that relationships shouldn't be based on decisions,choices and ultimatums, they should be based on acceptance, understanding and comprimise
Posted via RS Mobile

Last edited by canadianaboy; 12-13-2009 at 08:22 PM.
canadianaboy is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 12-13-2009, 08:23 PM   #11
MiX iT Up!
tiger_handheld's Avatar
Join Date: May 2006
Location: vancouver
Posts: 7,538
Thanked 1,840 Times in 738 Posts
family first.

/thread literally!

Sometimes we tend to be in despair when the person we love leaves us, but the truth is, it's not our loss, but theirs, for they left the only person who couldn't give up on them.

Make the effort and take the risk..

"Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't." - Eleanor Roosevelt
tiger_handheld is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 12-13-2009, 09:08 PM   #12
I bringith the lowerballerith
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 1,175
Thanked 435 Times in 157 Posts
no, shes not making you choose

shes telling you "treat me like im the trophy gf or let me find someone else that will"

any normal person should understand that family is irreplaceable
jackmeister is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 12-13-2009, 10:30 PM   #13
RS controls my life!
ra1nn's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 745
Thanked 10 Times in 10 Posts
As everyone said, yes family comes first!
you need to tell her that family is important and SHOULD come first (if it isn't obvious
ra1nn is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 12-14-2009, 12:26 AM   #14
I keep RS good
Ulic Qel-Droma's Avatar
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Cosmos
Posts: 28,238
Thanked 5,275 Times in 1,369 Posts
she sounds like a kid.
nipples neways...wat is with those fuck'n asians! i mean you would think they've never seen a dentist in their life. are dentists really that rare over there in ricey ricey and? looks like they're star trek ferrengi rejects! fuck'n have broken glass for teeth! goddaymn! and the smell....did a rat crawl in there and shit itself then marinate in its own shit as it decayed?ewwwwwwwwww! i swear...if one of those ferrengi asian girls gave head...when u pull the dick out it looks like it went thru a meat grinder! prolly shaved off a few slices of meat! *shudder*
Greebo i t-boned some guy and killed their baby, it was funny
silvia i have a couple asian guy friends that do very well with the ladies. but guess what, they go to the gym, they dont have long hair, they dont wear orange pants, and they dont play counterstrike. its not the ethnicity that the girls dont like, its the style and personality.
450HP Supra I am about to use your eye sockets as a shoe rack for my nuts. ...something about chinks, j-bodys, I can't quite remember as I was drunk and looking for a girl to punch in the clit. Think of it as a digital urinal, and you are the mint, except, instead of actually smelling mint, you smell like mothballs, rotten kimchee and virginity. I'm about to start drinking heavily now and you better be gone before I get back or I swear to god I will break the internet over my knee and use the pieces to beat you in the deformed skull with, cock muffler.
Iceman-19 If your gf cooks and cleans, good, tell the guy to take a fucking hike. If she doesnt, fuck, that joker can have her. Lifes too short to cook your own meals and do your own laundry, thats what women are for!
Ulic Qel-Droma is online now  
Reply With Quote
Old 12-14-2009, 08:33 AM   #15
Hypa owned my ass at least once
Noir's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 6,733
Thanked 1,291 Times in 533 Posts
OP sounds like a kid.

I get the significance of family and all, but you see, sleep and eat with your family everyday. Prioritizing your social life over family every now and then is not going to make you a bad son/brother/cousin.
Posted via RS Mobile
Noir is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 12-15-2009, 03:56 PM   #16
Captain Happy Bubble is my Homeboy
Sodium's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 341
Thanked 49 Times in 12 Posts
I don't think is the matter of who comes first.....but more like you should have your personal space/time to do what you want?
Right now she can be bitching about your time you've got work/guy's night out is she gonna bitch about that too?

You need to let her know that she is important but not the only existence in your world.
Sodium is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 12-15-2009, 09:08 PM   #17
I subscribe to the Fight Club ONLY
Jmac's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Duncan, BC
Posts: 7,236
Thanked 3,190 Times in 1,160 Posts
There's a chance she might be an attention whore ...
Jmac is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 12-15-2009, 10:07 PM   #18
My AFC gave me an ABS CEL code of LOL while at WOT!
welfare's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: van
Posts: 1,869
Thanked 62 Times in 44 Posts
a partner has the potential of becoming family as well. obviously 11 months is too early to put it into that perspective though
there's no first and second. your time, of course, will be divided. as long as it's done in a fair manner, there shouldn't be a problem. if there is, maybe she's got some things to figure out
Originally Posted by Stevie P View Post
I am an atheist still, thank God.
an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind
welfare is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 12-18-2009, 08:09 AM   #19
Ready to be Man handled by RS!
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 90
Thanked 8 Times in 5 Posts
family first... good luck man
Asphalt Junkiez is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old 12-18-2009, 09:06 AM   #20
Orgasm Donor & Alatar owned my ass twice!
DanHibiki's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 6,856
Thanked 4,386 Times in 1,145 Posts
Originally Posted by dachinesedude View Post
the girl probably has a bad relationship with her family

anyways for me its always family first, even a wife can leave your ass, family will always be there
This is probably true. I have a friend whose gf has a bad relationship with her family. Sometimes when he goes to see his family or grandparents she gets mad and tells him he can't go and says he can only see them like 2 times a month or something.
GO Canucks GO!

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) hi there
(づ。◕‿‿◕。)づ・。*。✧・゜゜・。✧。*・゜゜・✧。・$$$$$゜゜・。*。・゜*✧ .

xxx~*…like dis post if u cry evry time…~*xxx
DanHibiki is offline  
Reply With Quote
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -8. The time now is 02:30 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
SEO by vBSEO ©2011, Crawlability, Inc. cannot be held accountable for the actions of its members nor does the opinions of the members represent that of