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Vancouver Off-Topic / Current EventsThe off-topic forum for Vancouver, funnies, non-auto centered discussions, WORK SAFE. While the rules are more relaxed here, there are still rules. Please refer to sticky thread in this forum.
Waaaaaaaaaay too man to list. My favorite of the moment:
Nelson Muntz: [talking to a group of kids] The thing about huckleberries is, once you've had fresh, you'll never go back to canned.
[Skinner walks by]
Nelson Muntz: Uh, um... uh, so anyway, I kicked the guy's ass!
[Skinner nods and walks off]
Nelson Muntz: Now, if the berries are too tart, I just dust them with confectioner's sugar.
[the Simpsons are in an office with two FBI men letting them know about going to the federal witness protection program]
FBI man 1: Tell you what, Mr. Simpson, from now on your name is Homer Thompson,at Terror Lake.Let's just practice a bit, hmmmm? So when I say hello Mr. Thompson, you say hi.
Homer: Check!
FBI man 1: Hello, Mr. Thompson.
[Homer stares blankly]
FBI man 1: [pause]
FBI man 1: Now, remember, your name is Homer Thompson.
Homer: I gotcha!
FBI man 1: Hello, Mr. Thompson.
[again Homer stares blankly]
FBI man 1: [FBI men stare at each other]
[hours pass by]
FBI man 1: [frustrated] Argh... Now when I say "Hello Mr. Thompson" and press down on your foot, you smile and nod.
Homer: No problem.
[stepping hard on Homer's foot]
FBI man 1: Hello, Mr. Thompson.
[Homer stares blankly again for a few seconds]
Homer: [whispering to the FBI man next to him] I think he's talking to you.
[FBI man gives up]
Link this quote Posted via RS Mobile
Groundskeeper Willie: "I 'ate your dog and I 'ate what he did on the lawn!"
Bart: "Oh! you HATE my dog..."
Groundskeeper Willie: "That's what I said!"
you forget something at the end along the lines of...
Groundskeeper Willie: "And i 'ate what your dog left on ma carpet...THATS RIGHT YOU HEARD ME"
__________________
Quote:
[23-07, 02:03] shawn79 i find that at vietnamese place they cut ur hair like they cut grass
[23-07, 02:03] shawn79 do u go to vietnamese places for haircuts
flanders: maude and i sell religious hook rugs over the internet
homer: internet eh
flanders: yes indeedy making some good scracth too
homer: scratch eh
flanders: yep
homer: maud eh (with a sleazy look)
Rod Flanders: Hurry, let's climb down
Bart: Ok but don't let our hands touch, it's gay
Rod Flanders: What does gay mean?
Bart: Ummm, it means you used to be afraid but not you're not
Rod Flanders: I'm gay daddy i'm gay, Mrs. Simpson made me gay
Marge: Uhh, I believe he says, he's okay
Ned Flanders: *gives Marge dirty look*
this was when maggie was missing and they suspected moe had her at his house and was gonna throw her into the oven and wiggum barges into his house and says "SCUM! FREEZEBAG! . . . wow, you never get that mixed up."
gets me all the time.
and later on in that episode
Moe: oh, dont hold me back, im going in.
Homer: we're not, your shirt is caught in that bush.
Sherry or Terri: I'm so hungry I could eat at Arby's!
Rest of Class: Oh my god, she really is hungry!
**homer thinking of ned flanders in spandex ski suit**
Flanders:" Feels like im wearing nothin at all, nothin at all, nothin at all.."
Homer: Stupid sexy flanders!
"It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries... Yep, it's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good ... They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time. "
Ralph: Is Lisa home?
Homer: She's in the can, go away
Ralph: Yes sir, I do anything for Lisa
Homer: Anything eh...
*Ralph on the roof mixing some tar*
Ralph: Mr. Simpson, the fumes are making me dizzy
Homer: Yeah, they'll do that
Jebediah Springfield: People, our search is over! On this site we shall build a new town where we can worship freely, govern justly, and grow vast fields of hemp for making rope and blankets. Shelbyville Manhattan: Yes! And marry our cousins. Jebediah Springfield: I was- wha... what are you talking about, Shelbyville? Why would we want to marry our cousins? Shelbyville Manhattan: Because they're so attractive. I... I thought that was the whole point of this journey. Jebediah Springfield: Absolutely not! Shelbyville Manhattan: I tell you, I won't live in a town that robs men of the right to marry their cousins!
Homer: "Canada? Why would I want to leave America just to visit America, Jr.?"
Quote:
Homer: Oh, I almost forgot. While I was at the court house, I had them change your name.
Marge: To what?
Homer: Chesty La Rue.
Marge: CHESTY LARUE?
Homer: Just try it for two weeks. If you don't like it, you can be Busty St. Claire.
Marge: I don't want to be Chesty La Rue or Busty St. Claire.
Homer: Fine. Hooty McBoob it is.
Marge: Goodnight, Homer.
Homer: Goodnight, Hooty.
Marge: Give me those.
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