REVscene - Vancouver Automotive Forum

Mar · 02-27-2010, 10:50 AM

First off, I'm not that joe guy everyone seems to be obsessed about here so everyone can chill. Secondly, I'm looking for women's responses, not men's. If you are a guy, please only respond if you're trying to be supportive, I really don't need a slew of homophobic remarks thanks.

So as you might've guessed, I'm bisexual. I like both men and women...but haven't yet dated a woman and I think it's because I'm afraid she'll reject me once she finds out I'm bi. And I do plan on telling a girl about my bisexuality because I think it's important to be honest in a relationship. I know most girls are pretty open about sexual orientation but would they actually go out with a guy who is bi? Could you see yourself dating/marrying a bisexual guy?

Serious responses only please.

RacePace · 02-27-2010, 11:17 AM

As a guy, I've dated a bisexual girl before and I was totally fine with it so I wouldn't imagine a problem with the roles reversed (honestly, without the threesome jokes)

I think bi's have the ability to see the beauty in all people regardless of gender and I think that's awesome.

BoneThug · 02-27-2010, 11:56 AM

weirdly enough I could forsee alot of paranoia issues. Hanging with the guys or the girls.

Mar · 02-27-2010, 12:22 PM

It's true that when guys date bisexual girls, it's generally accepted, but the difference I think is that generally, girls who like girls are considered desirable while men who like men, even in 2010, still are not completely accepted by society.

We are also seen as less masculine and I don't know a lot of girls who like men who are not masculine...I am a masculine guy though, you wouldn't be able to tell I like men if you met me, and plenty of gay or bi men are masculine, but still...curious as to whether that is something girls consider a dealbreaker.

BoneThug, I know what you mean, but why should girls be any more paranoid about their bi boyfriend hanging out with either guys or girls than their straight boyfriend hanging out with other girls? I think that's an issue of trust, no matter what the sexual orientation. You're either the jealous type or you're not.

BTW girls, don't give me a PC response just to make me feel better. Tell me what you really think.

yuusha · 02-27-2010, 12:59 PM

why not date a girl and see how she reacts, instead of asking rs? Actions speak louder words, and you'll see more honesty in those actions than rs, that's for sure.
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SkinnyPupp · 02-27-2010, 05:13 PM

^^ Exactly. Go meet some women. Each one is different. Seems like you just wanted to tell everyone that you are bi. We don't care.

Mar · 02-27-2010, 10:36 PM

^^ if you don't care, then don't read or reply to my thread (did I not address this thread to WOMEN?). If all our questions can be answered by figuring it out ourselves, what is the point of having a forum? Aren't all the questions on this forum answerable by just going out there and figuring it out? Obviously, I am less than confident about meeting women in the first place considering my predicament and that is why I was hoping to get some insight from women before I go out there.

Seems like you just wanted to bash me without sounding homophobic. If I was a heterosexual man asking questions about girls, would you harp on me? I suppose, you being SkinnyPupp, you probably would've found some other reason to be a jerk, but since I am bisexual, you're telling me my questions are not legitimate enough to warrant a thread. Well, you can have your opinion, but unless my question somehow violates revscene rules of conduct, try to respect my request to only answer my question if you are a woman or you have something supportive to say. Thanks.

dasuperstar · 02-27-2010, 11:27 PM

Ask Joe lol^^

hi-revs · 02-28-2010, 01:06 AM

i may be wrong, but i think that girls from different nationalities would see it differently.
ie, asian girls would probably find it harder to accept as compared to "white" girls. Thats just what i think though from the way their brought up and all that mumbo jumbo.
And then youd have to break it down to the type of girl they are, and the type of friends that they have.
my guest-imate would be 1 in 8 would "accept" you for who you are.

personally, if it was me, i would find a girl whom im attracted to, go on dates, and bring up the whole bi thing as a joke, then ask her seriously what she thinks. That way you can just say youre just joking about the whole thing and move to the next topic. Or just tell her straight up youre bi.

Whatever works for you. good luck.

guy cheating on gf with another girl = gf will dump your ass.
guy cheating on gf with another guy= ???
guy banging his gf with another guy= that may actually work in your favor. and maybe hers

but seriously, just try it out and good luck with it.

skyxx · 02-28-2010, 03:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SkinnyPupp

^^ Exactly. Go meet some women. Each one is different. Seems like you just wanted to tell everyone that you are bi. We don't care.

It's a Buffet out there!.....

?NR · 02-28-2010, 08:35 AM

the best thing to do is what others have suggested already.

Find or date girl, be upfront about it. Best way about it to get the answer you need.

some may accept it, some may not. It is up to individual mentalities on this issue. The ability to like both sexes sexually is best of both worlds, if you can find the right audiences.

$0.02

akalic · 02-28-2010, 01:44 PM

it takes more courage for a man to ask a man out than a woman anyways. so you're good to go

rien · 02-28-2010, 03:36 PM

it would be a dealbreaker for me. you should tell her upfront about your bisexuality so if it's not ok with her, you won't waste your time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by akalic

it takes more courage for a man to ask a man out than a woman anyways. so you're good to go

exactly

Lil Bastrd · 03-01-2010, 09:01 AM

hmm good question. For me as a woman I'm pretty open. I have to say i think it's good when someone can appreciate the beauty in both sexes. I think it would really depend on the women though. Younger girls may not be mature enough emotionally, again though it will depend on the woman. I think that with having close guy friends that are gay makes it seem a non issue for me personally. The best thing will be to be upfront though.

Yuffa · 03-01-2010, 02:40 PM

It could be a deal breaker for me...
I am pretty bi-curious myself but I have never actually been with a girl.
At the end of the day every relationship is about trust. So if the girl is generally not a jealous/insecure type then there shouldn't be a problem.

I would just find it weird if we watch porn together or something and you are more interested in the guy.....

And it would also worry me that one day you would suddenly realize that you only like guys and it was a mistake to date me just because I am a girl.

murd0c · 03-01-2010, 04:13 PM

What about finding someone on with internet dating? it might be a good start so go on a couple days when they already know up front you are Bi. As well it will give you a idea what they will think and will make it easier to talk to them about it if you feel ok with doing so. I actually know some females that will also get turned on by a male being Bi as well.

As other people said just be honest about it and up front from the beginning and you should have nothing to worry about.

Mar · 03-01-2010, 04:15 PM

jensing: why would it be a dealbreaker for you? I wouldn't cheat on you anymore than if I was staight...if you can explain to me what specifically is not cool with you, that'd be great. I'm just trying to get some insight as to why some women would find my bisexuality threatening? Thanks.

Lil Bastrd: thanks for your response, much appreciated

I hope most girls feel the way you do.

Yuffa: If we were to watch porn together, I would not be more interested in the guy. I would be equally interested in the guy and the girl...thats what makes me bisexual. Personally speaking, I would be most interested in YOU because you are a real person sitting next to me, not two actors on screen.

I think your fear that a bisexual guy might one day only be attracted to men just shows your lack of understanding of bisexuality. I like men AND women. Would a straight person one day go gay out of nowhere? Would a gay person one day go straight out of nowhere? So why would I as a bisexual man, one day go completely gay out of nowhere? It doesn't make sense.

So I guess part of the problem is the lack of understanding people have about bisexuality. And I'm not trying to put down Yuffa, I very much appreciate her response because I learned something from that...just a little disappointed that some girls would feel that way.....

Mar · 03-01-2010, 04:20 PM

And also thanks to the men who have given positive feedback. It's good to know that revscene isn't just full of insecure homophobic gearheads.

murd0c: thanks for the suggestion about internet dating. It's something I have thought about doing for sure and probably something I'll start doing in the near future.

FI-Z33 · 03-01-2010, 05:04 PM

i agree with yuffa, but then again Mar has given a great response

you've totally changed my view towards gay/bisexual..
and i'm the type that looks for personality..if we match and if i like you..no problem! done

unit · 03-01-2010, 06:59 PM

ive never heard of a bisexual man.
guys are usually just gay or straight unlike women, or if they're bi they probably dont admit to liking guys because they can get away with just liking girls in public.

Mar · 03-01-2010, 08:10 PM

fi.0922: I'm really happy to hear that I was able to change your view towards bisexual men...are you a girl? And are you single

haha

Quote:

Originally Posted by unit

ive never heard of a bisexual man.
guys are usually just gay or straight unlike women, or if they're bi they probably dont admit to liking guys because they can get away with just liking girls in public.

I don't even know how to respond to this very ignorant comment...other than that you are wrong.

My theory as to why you've never heard of bisexual men is that maybe more women are able to come out as bisexual than men due to society's view on men who like men. There is much more discrimination towards men who like men than women who like women, so men fear coming out as bisexual and thus maybe why you've never heard of bisexual men..........

But bisexual men are out there. We certainly exist. Guys are not usually just gay or straight. Guys can be bi as well.

I wonder if hi-revs is right about how different ethnicities might view this differently. Or maybe age? Or education? Of the girls who have responded yes or no, what is your background?

FI-Z33 · 03-01-2010, 08:25 PM

lol yes i'm a girl, but no i'm not single xD

FI-Z33 · 03-01-2010, 08:27 PM

oh, to answer your question..i'm chinese, born in vancouver, grew up in vancouver =/

once again...PROUD TO BE CANADIAN!

saucywoman · 03-02-2010, 07:50 PM

I am a white girl and love gay men but i dont think i would ever date a bisexual guy. You can do whatever you want and i will not judge you but i just myself wouldnt want to date a guy that was attracted to other guys or had ever been with a guy.
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m4k4v4li · 03-02-2010, 08:27 PM