Drug Problems or Money Problems? *Serious*
 

Posting this for a friend so any replies in this thread will be from him.


Please no stupid comments as I'm taking this seriously, it is a bit of a long read.

My brother I think has either a drug problem or money problem, perhaps even both? I'm not too sure but I'm assuming it's just drugs. This has been going on for a few years now, he's always hassling my mother for money because his "story" is a few years ago he borrowed money from a loan shark and was in debt maybe $80,000 or more and is still to this day paying off this loan shark between $20 - $200 a day or every few days. As for my mother, she gives him the money because she does not want her son to get hurt as any mother would probably do but she's had enough and wants to know the truth. Now I'm no expert but I don't think a loan shark would be coming by around the neighbourhood every few days just to collect money and waste their time, why wouldn't they just kill him if he was in debt that much. I think this is sort of just a cover up story just to hide what he's really doing. Also to add to this, he did have a drug problem before which I believe is still going on and it's not a loan shark. Back then, we would sometimes find pop cans in his room that would be cut in half, which I think was used to heat up the cocaine/crack as on some nights, he'd borrow my lighter and it would be out of gas the next day. If any of you guys are much more of a "drug expert" what would you assume the drug was? I'm just guessing it's cocaine but i don't really know because people make bongs out of cans and whatnot and it could be used for something else. I've already tried talking to him and there is no getting through to him, it's all just lies, lies and more lies so who really knows. The people that come by the neighbourhood are usually in different cars so I assume he's buying from a few different drug dealers. What do you guys think it really is? There is more to it but I can't remember it all off the top of my head. Hope it makes sense as there was a bit of typing and things to remember. Thanks for your help

tell the mom to cut his source of money and see what happens to him. I know its hard especially hes her son, but if you want better for him, you've gotta stop his money flow.

we actually tried, we've taken his debit card and he makes excuses like he gets hurt if he doesn't pay, like for instance he'll get cuts, get a sprained ankle or get hit in the face. The excuse he'll give for the cuts was he was cut with a knife but when I look at these cuts, they look like pussy ass cuts from a razor blade and not a real knife. I think he's just hurting himself so he can get money that's why these "cuts" aren't as deep as there supposed to be, he'll walk around like he's got a sprained ankle but if he has to run like say catch the bus or something, he'll be able to run.

a serious drug problem, cut off his money supply and watch him go through withdrawal

i think this is a lost cause, he'll either live the rest of his life as a costly leech or a bum

I believe it's a lost cause as well even though he's my own brother. he's almost 30 years old, he has a shit paying job from a decent paying job, he dropped out of high school and hasn't graduated and i don't think he plans to graduate even though we keep hassling him to finish his GED and he still lives at home. that's pretty sad.

Have you guys talked to him about it up front?

I know a family member of mine who went through the same problem, minus the loan shark. He gambled away everything, was immersed in drugs, and basically lost everything, including his house and cars. He basically hit rock bottom and from there, it wasn't until our family intervened that he got back to his feet and started from scratch.

Sometimes hitting the bottom is the only way.. I wish it would've never turned out that way.

Yea, definetly drugs.

Had a buddy who wasn't THAT bad, but the signs were there and ended up stealing from us. Don't look forward to your mom cutting his funds anytime soon. Must be the hardest thing to do to deny a crying son...

Plus that would probably leave him to do BnE, other crimes.

It's only a lost cause if you give up on him. Right now you guys are his only chance for going clean. Find out what drug it is and look into treatment centers, etc.
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we've actually tried getting through to him over the past years for other problems like finishing his GED but doesn't seem to care about it, even his closest friends have tried getting through to him but no luck. we got him to see a psychiatrist for a bit and even asked him to take a drug test, he just doesn't bother listening.

yeah, he'll get close to someone and use them for money and just fuck off like they never existed and these people that he used are nice enough not to come after him for the money he owes them. he's stolen from his own family too, he would steal little electronics like a digital camera lying around in my house and sell it at a pawn shop. i remember before i knew he was into drugs, i gave him my debit card because it was late and he needed to borrow money and what he did was he inserted a blank envelope into the ATM machine which fucked up my bank account and he's doing that with his own debit card, he never learns his lesson. we'll probably send him to a treatment centre or something of that sort, he needs an intervention

sounds a herion/crackhead/meth freebaser..i know a someone close to me who was

check for these

-popcan with pinholes as a homemade bong for freebasing folded in the middle
-burnt dry dark or chappy lips from burning on the can
-sudden weight loss or gain
-insomnia
-yellowish chipped looking teeth
-lighters with no gas
-ashes
-mini glass pipes
-leaving home in the middle of the night to meet dealer
-check with cell records to calls made most frequently at night. if hes single

sounds like a gambling problem
no one spends that much on drugs
although i wouldnt be surprised that there is a drug problem as well
if ur a gambling addict u can be a drug addict as well

as for the drug part, if the guy isnt eating, looking skinny, definitely say drugs r involved

it's not hard spending 100 on drugs a day

If your family has money, try moving him to another country, maybe get him to live with your grandparents

You obviously have no idea how druggies work if you think "no one spends that much on drugs".

your brother needs: http://www.aetv.com/intervention/index.jsp

i don't really get it though, if he was spending that much on drugs a day. wouldn't he have looked like those crack/meth fiends on the streets already?

i was referring to his 80000 debt
doubt that was drugs dont u?
and i didnt say he doesnt have a drug problem, i said it could be both
get it right

these are the things i've noticed

- pop cans sliced in half, directly in half with no holes whatsoever (this was in the past, don't see it anymore)
- small ashes in the washroom sink from time to time
- insomnia
- weight loss over the past few years
- crooked teeth when they used to be straight
- he leaves the house at random times of the day, sometimes i'll see him meet these different guys and they'll drive off. maybe around the neighbourhood until the exchange is done
- i've noticed one particular number he would call, was planning on calling it from a payphone to see if it is a drug dealer

its a serious reply, might be a woman behind him

what do you mean by that? all this money is going towards a woman?

It has to be crack he's using, I have a friend who was doing the exact same things borrowing from his mom, stealing from siblings, siblings friends would come over and jackets,bags or purse's would go missing, had a job and car to no job and bussing it, tried selling anything of value for any price possible and so much other shit it just goes on. Finally his family and friends started intervening and his mom spend alot of money to get him into treatment and after about 2-3 years in different treatment centers and homes I think he has finally quit but he's determined to stay at a home and help other addicts now.

Why I say it is crack is because a person doing heroin is pretty happy after getting their fix and a meth user would probably not sleep very much and try to keep themself busy one way or another even if it requires doing some kind of work whether it being house work or a real job, and crack user would do whatever it takes to get a hit and that's all that's on their mind is how to get their next hit and to get that hit they'll go to extremes to get it.

Regardless of what drugs he's using, or how he's wasting money, your brother has a major problem, and it will definitely take time.
A rehab centre or counseling (as mentioned) would be the best option, but is impossible unless your brother is willing to cooperate. I know from what you have told us that he has gone to a psychiatrist and whatnot and hasn't listened, but you have to keep trying. That's originally what happened when we put that family member of ours through an intervention. He didn't listen whatsoever.
Honestly, this is a family effort, and you have to keep them on the ball and constantly bothering him about his situation. Try not to give him money, and don't pity him for being helpless. As hard as it may be, don't give up and don't give in. By "give up", I mean don't lose faith in him, and by "give in", don't fuel his drug/gambling needs. He needs to get to that point in his life that he realizes that turning back is his only option.
Watching a family go down because of this type of ordeal is the hardest part..

he is definitely buying drugs. crack or meth it seems.

I think you still don't get it.

He doesn't have 80k in debt. It's just something he made up to get money.

You think a loan shark wants $200 every few days for $80k debt? You think the loan shark wouldn't have fucked him up by now?

Get your head out of your ass.

When he ask for money again take him to the police station and file a report. If he is lying he isn't going to go lol. Then at that point cut all sauce of money.

Or just kick him out of the house.

^ never knew they made sauce out of money.

thanks for the laugh ;)