Relationship & Gender Discussion THIS SPACE OPEN FOR ADVERTISEMENT. YOU SHOULD BE ADVERTISING HERE!
The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex... |
 | | 
05-13-2010, 09:18 AM
|
#1 | | NOOB, Not Quite a Regular!
Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: vancouver
Posts: 43
Thanked 4 Times in 3 Posts
| Should I give up?
Two of my best friends tell me that the secret of having a happy life is to be with someone who loves and cares about me more than I care about him. It may sound selfish, but I know what they said may be true. Whenever I fell for someone, I always ended up getting hurt. But I just don’t want to give up on love.
There is this guy have been in my life for almost 10 years now. He encourages me to pursue my goal, wants me to upgrade and be a highly educated office lady, takes care of me when I am sick, be there for me whenever I am in trouble, provide financial help to me when I am in difficulty. He knows that I don’t love him, I dated other people, I am looking for love but won’t consider him, but he is still there for me and never gives up on me. Friends say that they wish their boyfriends or husbands can treat them like the way he treats me. They say that there are no other men can treat me better than him.
I know if I were with him, I will not get hurt from relationship. But will I be happy? Should I give up on love and be with someone who I know will love me forever?
| 
|  | |
05-13-2010, 09:34 AM
|
#2 | | How I Mod your mother
Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Crayon Box
Posts: 13,688
Thanked 977 Times in 477 Posts
|
So you'd basically be using this dude you've known for 10 years to be happy..
__________________ Quote: | [19-07, 16:52] bloodmack: EB did u change my avatar and title?
| Quote: | [19-07, 16:54] El Bastardo: bm i have no idea what you're talking about because i don't speak gorilla
| | |
| | |
05-13-2010, 09:36 AM
|
#3 | | I contribute to threads in the offtopic forum
Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: richmond
Posts: 2,513
Thanked 1,352 Times in 445 Posts
|
No. Simply because it won't be fair for either you or him if you don't love him in return.
Have you told him bluntly that you don't love him the way he loves you?
If you decide to settle for him you are risking your unhappiness, and his shot at true love. Posted via RS Mobile | |
| | |
05-13-2010, 09:58 AM
|
#4 | | RS.net, where our google ads make absolutely no sense!
Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: vancouver
Posts: 995
Thanked 126 Times in 59 Posts
|
Everyones way of having a happy life is different, you shouldnt rely too much on your friend's view on the secret of having a happy life. Do you think by having someone love you but not loving them in return will make you happy? Its not that easy to ask someone if something will make you happy, only you can answer that question.
| |
| | |
05-13-2010, 10:44 AM
|
#5 | | I keep RS good
Join Date: May 2001 Location: Cosmos
Posts: 28,661
Thanked 5,539 Times in 1,502 Posts
|
it's almost always better to have a man love the woman first. If a man doesn't love the woman, it's guaranteed that sometime down the road, he's going to leave her. Men have the upper hand when it comes to choosing and KEEPING.
not so much the other way around. it's the way our society works, gender roles.
if a woman chases a man, she's only gonna get his penis.
| |
| | |
05-13-2010, 12:44 PM
|
#6 | | I contribute to threads in the offtopic forum
Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: AB
Posts: 2,777
Thanked 234 Times in 96 Posts
|
you should come to learn that true happiness does not come from extrinsic factors but comes from within
there are always going to be things that affect your mood, both good and bad, the extent to which is does is largely dependent on yourself
that being said, of course there are many things that you have no control over that will affect your emotions... what im trying to say is that if you are an unhappy person in general, no guy is going to compensate for that... maybe in the short term but the change has to come from yourself
| |
| | |
05-13-2010, 01:30 PM
|
#7 | | Unofficial Tin Foil Hat Specialist.
Join Date: May 2008 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 8,150
Thanked 1,529 Times in 604 Posts
|
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you.......
| |
| | |
05-13-2010, 02:11 PM
|
#8 | | I *heart* Revscene.net very Muchie
Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: vancouver
Posts: 3,711
Thanked 2,584 Times in 610 Posts
|
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
__________________
<3 tos'd the troll king
| |
| | |
05-13-2010, 03:10 PM
|
#9 | | Hypa owned my ass at least once
Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Japan
Posts: 6,745
Thanked 1,314 Times in 540 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by August  Two of my best friends tell me that the secret of having a happy life is to be with someone who loves and cares about me more than I care about him. It may sound selfish, but I know what they said may be true. Whenever I fell for someone, I always ended up getting hurt. But I just don’t want to give up on love.
There is this guy have been in my life for almost 10 years now. He encourages me to pursue my goal, wants me to upgrade and be a highly educated office lady, takes care of me when I am sick, be there for me whenever I am in trouble, provide financial help to me when I am in difficulty. He knows that I don’t love him, I dated other people, I am looking for love but won’t consider him, but he is still there for me and never gives up on me. Friends say that they wish their boyfriends or husbands can treat them like the way he treats me. They say that there are no other men can treat me better than him.
I know if I were with him, I will not get hurt from relationship. But will I be happy? Should I give up on love and be with someone who I know will love me forever? | We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching but you're to shy to say it
| |
| | |
05-13-2010, 03:25 PM
|
#10 | | I bringith the lowerballerith
Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: canada
Posts: 1,124
Thanked 1,352 Times in 263 Posts
|
I don't think you should settle for him just because you can't find the right person right now. If you settle for him, you might not be very happy and neither will he, if you don't love him. Convince your friend that he will be much happier if he moves on and looks for other girls. You should also continue searching for love as well.
__________________
BCRDUKES 2016
| |
| | |
05-13-2010, 05:31 PM
|
#11 | | ah_some
Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: North Siiiiiide
Posts: 9,429
Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
|
^ agreed.
you can't just settle with anyone
he may be happy, but you will not be.
that's just my opinion
__________________ www.pientertainment.com: Embassy Fridays @ Pop Opera
Live Saturdays @ Gossip CoLoRs member #19 [The Enforcer, you maggots!]
RSB #6
| |
| | |
05-13-2010, 09:40 PM
|
#12 | | The "You'd Know" Moderator
Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Home
Posts: 20,930
Thanked 274 Times in 139 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by August Two of my best friends tell me that the secret of having a happy life is to be with someone who loves and cares about me more than I care about him. It may sound selfish, but I know what they said may be true. Whenever I fell for someone, I always ended up getting hurt. But I just don’t want to give up on love.
There is this guy have been in my life for almost 10 years now. He encourages me to pursue my goal, wants me to upgrade and be a highly educated office lady, takes care of me when I am sick, be there for me whenever I am in trouble, provide financial help to me when I am in difficulty. He knows that I don’t love him, I dated other people, I am looking for love but won’t consider him, but he is still there for me and never gives up on me. Friends say that they wish their boyfriends or husbands can treat them like the way he treats me. They say that there are no other men can treat me better than him.
I know if I were with him, I will not get hurt from relationship. But will I be happy? Should I give up on love and be with someone who I know will love me forever? | lol, leave the poor guy alone and stop using him.
__________________
08 CBR600RR
03 IS300
Ezekiel 25:17. The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you. | |
| | |
05-13-2010, 10:09 PM
|
#13 | | NOOB, Not Quite a Regular!
Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: vancouver
Posts: 43
Thanked 4 Times in 3 Posts
|
yeah, a nice guy like him deserves a girl who really love and appreciate him. If I settled for him, I couldn't give him the happiness he deserves.
| |
| | |
05-13-2010, 11:18 PM
|
#14 | | I Will not Admit my Addiction to RS
Join Date: May 2010 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 569
Thanked 279 Times in 105 Posts
|
either find it in your heart to love him (the person from what sounds like you can count on), or leave him alone and try to meet new people. Honestly your story make me feel bad about the guy. He's probably beed teased for 10 years - no offense.
| |
| | |
05-14-2010, 08:02 AM
|
#15 | | NOOB, Not Quite a Regular!
Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: vancouver
Posts: 43
Thanked 4 Times in 3 Posts
|
none taken. it's either being a couple or nothing.
| |
| | |
05-14-2010, 09:34 AM
|
#16 | | How I Mod your mother
Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Crayon Box
Posts: 13,688
Thanked 977 Times in 477 Posts
|
Being a couple is one thing, but genuinely caring for him the way he cares for you is another. Like someone else said, HE will be happy, but you wont. I dont classify that as being a "couple"
__________________ Quote: | [19-07, 16:52] bloodmack: EB did u change my avatar and title?
| Quote: | [19-07, 16:54] El Bastardo: bm i have no idea what you're talking about because i don't speak gorilla
| | |
| | |
05-14-2010, 01:17 PM
|
#17 | | Where's my RS Christmas Lobster?!
Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 818
Thanked 709 Times in 216 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by August Should I give up on love and be with someone who I know will love me forever? | i'm so confused.
how old are you? age is just a number i'll acknowledge that, but i'm going to guess 18 - 23, slow down and just relax. it's not like you're going to find your husband at this age, i'm not saying it's impossible not at all. just slow down. Quote: |
It may sound selfish, but I know what they said may be true. Whenever I fell for someone, I always ended up getting hurt.
| this "guy" has been by your side for approx. 10 years? he encourages you to pursue your goals, takes care of you when you're sick etc. UM HELLO? it seems like it's right in your face. Quote: | I know if I were with him, I will not get hurt from relationship. But will I be happy? Should I give up on love and be with someone who I know will love me forever?
| its really always has been all about you. It may sound selfish, it is selfish. you are selfish. just let him go. he deserves so much better, the fact that you're actually letting RS decide on this makes me have sympathy for him, surprisingly.
you seem no different then those girls that have guys on a leash and have them nothing more than an option.
__________________
I speak the truth, and nothin' but. If I am wrong, well then there is no right.
Rule 1: You do not talk about Fight Club. Rule 2: You do not talk about Fight Club.
Last edited by v.Rossi; 05-14-2010 at 01:25 PM.
| |
| | |
05-14-2010, 01:21 PM
|
#18 | | Where's my RS Christmas Lobster?!
Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 818
Thanked 709 Times in 216 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by August yeah, a nice guy like him deserves a girl who really love and appreciate him. If I settled for him, I couldn't give him the happiness he deserves. | i don't know about that, i'm pretty happy when my girlfriend gives me head when i wake up. 10 years!! jeeez woman. it's the very least you can do for the man.
__________________
I speak the truth, and nothin' but. If I am wrong, well then there is no right.
Rule 1: You do not talk about Fight Club. Rule 2: You do not talk about Fight Club.
| |
| | |
05-14-2010, 02:50 PM
|
#19 | | How I Mod your mother
Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Crayon Box
Posts: 13,688
Thanked 977 Times in 477 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by August yeah, a nice guy like him deserves a girl who really love and appreciate him. If I settled for him, I couldn't give him the happiness he deserves. | If you really believe in the first part of your post, then why would you even bother asking RS this question..
If you cant fulfill that role you should just let him go.
The selfishness of the OP somewhat irritates me. I know in the end its really not my choice, but the fact that you're even considering
doing this to this good guy just so YOU can be happy is just straight up wrong.
__________________ Quote: | [19-07, 16:52] bloodmack: EB did u change my avatar and title?
| Quote: | [19-07, 16:54] El Bastardo: bm i have no idea what you're talking about because i don't speak gorilla
| | |
| | |
05-14-2010, 03:29 PM
|
#20 | | RS Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: GTA
Posts: 29,000
Thanked 10,496 Times in 4,303 Posts
|
A relationship that is successful is about giving and taking. It's not a take-take-and-take-even-more thing.
Selfishness is part of human nature. You just need to know where to draw the line. Only you can answer that question.
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by Badhobz Yeah. Typical Mainlander Barbie doll.
Her car even smelled nice. Like a mixture of luxury perfume and a hint of….. vag ? Fish sauce ? Something a bit dank | | |
| | |
05-14-2010, 04:20 PM
|
#21 | | I keep RS good
Join Date: May 2001 Location: Cosmos
Posts: 28,661
Thanked 5,539 Times in 1,502 Posts
|
im sorry, but you probably have this image of your prince charming or how he should act, smell, taste, feel or wahtever.
that aint reality. reality is, divorce rates are 50%, there is no prince charming, you take what is best.
you can learn to love, you just havent found it in yourself yet to do it. your ego is too big.
when you're 30, and still in the same scenario, i bet he'd look a lot more appealing.
another scenario, you find someone else, he dumps your ass and you're totally devastated, but this 10 year dude still treats you nice and accepts you. are you going to let him comfort you and take care of you while you still go out and look for other guys?
it's like buying a puppy, u don't know how it's gonna turn out when it grows up, but no matter what you know you'll love it even if it's a dumbass ugly dog. cuz your dog is loyal to you and loves you. it will not betray you, it will not intentionally hurt you.
I know what you feel you cannot fight. but it's like, if you don't try you won't know. maybe he'll rock your world lol.
how many things in life have you "not liked" and for some reason down the road, you accept it and now it's part of your life and you can't really let go of these things?
the same can be applied to people.
| |
| | |
05-15-2010, 06:02 AM
|
#22 | | I answer every Emotion with an emoticon
Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: somewhere
Posts: 7,906
Thanked 2,485 Times in 1,007 Posts
|
have you found out why you dont love him, or at least try to?
| |
| | |
05-15-2010, 11:09 AM
|
#23 | | Glorious Gaming PC Master Race
Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Coquitlam y0!
Posts: 21,240
Thanked 968 Times in 446 Posts
|
he's probably ugly or fat. she just thinks she can do so much better but wont tell the guy to bug off so she has a backup if she gets desperate
| |
| | |
05-15-2010, 07:33 PM
|
#24 | | Diagonally parked in a parallel universe
Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 1,411
Thanked 217 Times in 71 Posts
|
turbo e and Ulic Qel-Droma got really good points.
| |
| | |
05-15-2010, 08:38 PM
|
#25 | | RS.net, where our google ads make absolutely no sense!
Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: vancouver
Posts: 995
Thanked 126 Times in 59 Posts
|
Dont be too picky. Just remember men age like wine and women age like milk
When most men get older, they become wealthier, which results in being more powerful, which results in confidence, which makes them more attractive to women.
Most women on the other hand are insecure since they have to compete with the younger girls. Most older men dont have to compete with younger guys. They are generally more distinguished and powerful.
Last edited by Marioo1991; 05-15-2010 at 08:58 PM.
| |
| | | |
Posting Rules
| You may not post new threads You may not post replies You may not post attachments You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
| | |
All times are GMT -8. The time now is 07:24 AM.
|
You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!
The banners on the left side and below do not show for registered users!
