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cool moe D · 08-28-2010, 12:10 PM

Is rebound dating a necessity for moving on after a bad break up?

I wouldn't mind staying single but I can't get my mind off my ex.

Jgresch · 08-28-2010, 12:12 PM

Not really.... though I have been with my "rebound" girl for over 2 years now.

Sometimes a rebound might make you wish you had the old girl even more....

Just find something that takes your mind off it, a hobby, playing xbox, racing etc etc.

v.Rossi · 08-28-2010, 12:44 PM

isn't it a necessity? i mean how else do you eventually move on to date someone else or were you planning on dying, single? i mean at some point when you're done your healing, wooosah and shit and it's time to find a new broad. getting her number, etc. is she not the next girl? therefore, the rebound?

seems like your very own ego is blurry the facts from yourself from the tone of your post, don't lie to yourself. it's never good.

but i mean of course, if you just broke up with the girl then she'll still be on your mind, yes that's completely normal.

the best way to get back up is meeting new people of the opposite gender. finding compatibilities and meeting new personalities. but, if this was a recent break up then relax. if you want a long-term relationship i think you've gotta love/understand yourself some more.

[ignore the bold, i'm not sure if it all makes sense, i have the idea i just can't fully explain it. i'm not even sure if i fully comprehende what i'm trying to explain myself. lately, i've been sincerely a lot happier about myself. as a result, my game with chicks seemed to have bumped up A LOT]

TheMatty · 08-28-2010, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jgresch

Not really.... though I have been with my "rebound" girl for over 2 years now.

Sometimes a rebound might make you wish you had the old girl even more....

Just find something that takes your mind off it, a hobby, playing xbox, racing etc etc.

yeah its sad but true

DGiRL · 08-29-2010, 11:14 AM

i think there's a line between having a rebound and playing the field. only you can define the difference.
to me, a rebound is someone you spend your time/energy with so you don't have to deal with how you really feel. there is no specific time line for this, people heal differently depending on the variables.
so i dont feel a rebound is necessary, but you choose to deal with your emotions/thoughts/mistakes more quickly..and after a bad breakup, it hurts like hell.

i'd rather deal with my baggage on my own than drag someone into it. rebounds are people with feelings too, and sometimes in the midst of our pain we don't acknowledge that or simply just don't care because we are so miserable.

Soundy · 08-29-2010, 11:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by coupeziRL

isn't it a necessity? i mean how else do you eventually move on to date someone else or were you planning on dying, single? i mean at some point when you're done your healing, wooosah and shit and it's time to find a new broad. getting her number, etc. is she not the next girl? therefore, the rebound?

Think about where the term "rebound" comes from. You miss a three-pointer, the ball comes off the backboard, MJ picks it up and pops it in, that's a rebound. Ball hits the floor and bounces all the way back to center before someone scoops it... that's not a rebound.

"Rebound" by definition means something pretty much immediate... in this case, probably within a couple weeks.

!e.lo_ · 09-01-2010, 11:05 AM

I don't think a rebound is necessary.
But after a breakup, people do tend to be in a vulnerable state. Depends on the person ad how they are strong individually.

I broke up with my ex two years ago and had no rebound, and I've stayed single that entire time.
My family didn't even know that we had broken up until a few months later because I didn't show it.

Yuffa · 09-01-2010, 12:50 PM

I don't think it's about whether it's necessary or not....
It makes a difference if your new partner knows about your last relationship. If you intend to lie about the fact that you just broke up with your ex a week ago and pretend that you are over him/her.....then that's simply disrespecting your new partner and you are straight up using him/her for selfish reasons.....

q0192837465 · 09-01-2010, 01:15 PM

It's definitely not necessary. In fact I think it's bad because u'r basically using the girl. If she's serious about the relationship, it can really do some serious damage.

TRD Rs200 · 09-02-2010, 09:05 PM

not really, lets take it this way, there are better ways to get over a girl than finding another temp girl for the time being, working on your car, chilling with friends, clubbing and lots of other ways. why hurt a girl when there are other ways to kill those emo moments

FerrariEnzo · 09-03-2010, 12:20 AM

wait a few months or longer.. dont just go look for one right away... you said that you only think of your ex... if you find one and she finds out that you still think about your ex.. things will get ugly..

KNOW for sure that you are over your ex before you move on...

Soundy · 09-03-2010, 03:18 AM

A rebound has nothing to do with "moving on".

FerrariEnzo · 09-03-2010, 05:09 AM

so your saying that dating a girl while thinking about your ex all the time is ok?

what do you think she will think? i dunno.. maybe some girls are ok with that...

if your gona be doing that, why not just pay and get a hooker? wouldnt it save yourself headaches down the road?

Psykopathik · 09-03-2010, 07:18 AM

you're only on the rebound till you actually want someone else. if you date someone else while still pining for the lost GF/BF you're doing a disservice to the new person

miss_crayon · 09-08-2010, 10:36 AM

A rebound is for people who are usually afraid and can't bear the idea of the reality of a breakup. Their emotions impair their logic so they run to the first person who makes them feel wanted or needed to cover up the hurt they feel.

We've all done it at one point or another. Years down the road you'll look back at it and think 'omg..I was an idiot.' Don't feel bad if you do, it's all a learning process.

AS for your situation, stay single for now and focus on just you. The ex can only have a hold on you for as long as you hold onto what could been or what should have been. Break ups happen all the time, it's just a matter of if you want to sulk and throw your feelings onto someone else..or deal with them on your own and punch hurt in the face.

Soundy · 09-08-2010, 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by miss_crayon

A rebound is for people who are usually afraid and can't bear the idea of the reality of a breakup. Their emotions impair their logic so they run to the first person who makes them feel wanted or needed to cover up the hurt they feel.

We've all done it at one point or another. Years down the road you'll look back at it and think 'omg..I was an idiot.' Don't feel bad if you do, it's all a learning process.

Or you might think, "Well, that was fun for what it was, just what I needed at the time." The highlighted bit is the main component of a rebound, really. If it helps you through, and the object of your rebound understands from the start that that's all they are, then no harm, no foul!

fallen88 · 09-21-2010, 10:46 AM

Im going thru a similar situation and personally I dont think rebounding is necessary. For me, the time for myself is the time for me to heal. I was in a long term relationship where marriage and kids were in the picture, but I guess our time had come to an end.

Sure it sucks, but you gotta look at the bigger picture. Maybe things ended for a reason.
If you feel in order to heal you gotta date a bunch of women, go do it. But let them know the situation. Theres no reason to give someone else heartache because you yourself are in a heartache-situation.

Either way good luck to you, I hope you feel better about your love life. Being heartbroken sucks.