relationship Poll
 

Hi Guys,

I just have this school project that I need to do a poll for.
If you have relationship issues, problems, advise or just needed a place to vent. Would you 1. Do it online ( Like an FML site but more specific in terms of relationship issues) 2. Talk to a close friend, Please also state your gender and your reason for picking 1 or 2.

Please keep this on topic. I need it for school. Thanks

Note:
let's say it's a major issue. I.E. you or your partner cheating, getting pregnant and not knowing how to tell your parents or partner etc.

2) In person. Because I know and trust the person.

2. You can trust your (real) friends, people online won't fully comprehend the situation you're in, less judgement, more support.

M.

Although I occasionally do #1. every now and then, definitely hands-down the best pick is #2.


My friends know me much better (obviously) and they know how I operate. Plus most of them know my history with past relationships/flings. So naturally, taking advice or just flat out venting out to them is the more logical option rather than doing it online with complete strangers. Advice and feedback are both crucial with helping someone in vent-mode (or etc.), so yep, #2. fosho.

Thanks for all your input guys. Basically what it is I think is that they want to create a support system for people who are not very open to their own friends or have problems discussing their own issues because they don't know what they're doing wrong. Let's face it, not everybody spills their guts to friends when they have issues. There's always a fear of rejection or the fear of being judged by other people and sometimes it's easier to just let off steam and vent online to people who you know will not judge you or even if they did you know they don't know you personally so it won't matter.

An example would be this page alone. Over 60 people have already viewed this page and only several replied. It can be because 1. they don't care or 2. they're worried about what people will think if they pick one instead of two? I could be wrong but I could be right too.

Thanks again! let's keep em coming guys!

I originally wasn't going to post cause I didn't care.. But I'm replying to agree with your point #2.

But since I'm replying anyways lol... I personally prefer asking online because 1) I'm not the type to openly layout my dilemma, 2) you get different forms of answers from different people and views, so you get to think about both sides of the spectrum. And also, friends are most likely to give advice you WANT to hear, and not necessarily need to hear.

But ofcourse, there are some topics where it's best to go to a friend.
Posted via RS Mobile

yea good point about getting different view points from different people. You're right about how people will give you the whole "it's going to be alright speech" and not what you really need to hear.

Let's keep em coming guys!!

I deal with my problems myself. I never felt comfortable outsourcing my troubles; nor the pity that came with it.

If anyone asks me if I'm okay even though I'm really not, the answer is always "I'm OK."

i'm an alphamale :D

depends on the situation if it's about girls i almost never go to another girl for advice, because they're going to mislead me. however, if i don't know what to do i go to my female cousin. so i guess i'm choosing choice #2. she'll never mislead me, even if i'm trying to get into another girls pants, she's down right to help me dupe her. if i fucked up badly, she'll still help me. believe me, i do a lot of stupid shit. extremely greatful to have her.

sometimes i do go to my friends though, again depends on the situation. if it's something about my relationship i talk to my buddies, they'll tell me down right to drop her, i'm whipped, etc. if i'm sensitive(which is like never) about what they're saying, chances are they're probably right. if i'm insecure to talk to my buddies, i'll talk to a good friend from the states.

haha good comments so far. I like how everybody is honest here.

Let's get more people to respond please and thank you!

I think because of CoupeZIRL's comment people are going to be worried to respond. Let's all keep in mind that different people deal with different things differently.

Sometimes any kind of outlet whether online or real life is better than no outlet at all.

if it is a major issue like cheating/accidental pregs etc., i would choose to deal with it by talking to my partner.
with a relationship comes trust and friendship so i shouldn't be afraid to talk about what's important to me. family/friends tend to be more biased, really quick to go "fuck 'em who cares you can do better" and the way my family is, if someone hurts me, it's automatic hate and there's nothing my partner could do that will reverse that.

if i love/care about this person i am with, then our troubles will be between us. the way i see it is if i'm getting into bed with someone, he better damn be prepared to deal with it when i wanna talk about something serious that will concern us both. and if he isn't, then he should stop being a bitch.

i just think nobody can tell me how my partner feels, how i feel and what we should do about it better than us.

venting = immediate (but only temporary) relief
personally, i feel better in the long run if i take some time to think about what i wanna say then keep it to the point. when i'm angry i just get vengeful and unnecessarily dramatic so now i know i'll just end up saying things that i'll regret later.

Thanks for the input guys!

Can I get more input please and thank you!

CoupezIRL, I thought you were a girl until re-reading your post, at first I was going to ask you if you were a lesbian.....Your username threw me off sorry :(

1 because i can do vent anonymously..unless it was a major problem like you stated, then it'd be 2.

my first sentence wasn't blunt enough? how did my name throw you off, does it look likes dykeziam? punk, best be sorry!

I always thought your username was CoupeGirl

+1.

And I thought we had another female member that went by a similar name as well.

It took me a while reading his posts to give his handle a closer look and figure out it wasn't her.

both.

online you will get a spew of 100's of answers, and of those 100, if even 1 is good, then it was worth the effort. plus you can get ideas from other answers even if they don't relate.

your friends give you a more personal answer based on the fact that they know you and tailor the answer to your needs.

but sometimes a general answer is better. or someone else that's gone through the exact same problem.

oh yeah like someone said above, you friends wont always tell you what you need to hear. not all are straight up honest and frank. the truth hurts sometimes.

#2: They know wut u have been thru and understand the situation more than a bunch of 15 yr old virgins on the other side of the screen

I think ppl who do #1 r basically looking for confirmation. They think they know wut to do but need someone else to tell them wut they'r doing is right.

2. Whenever I got something I need advice on when it comes to relationships, I call my friend who is like my sister. She knows me like the back of my hand and the great thing is she will be brutally honest with me. There's pros and cons for both options but for me I rather have someone give me advice that I know well than some random who is just looking at it at a general point of view without any consideration as to what kind of person I am etc.

Wow, seems to be a lot of people opting for #2 out of trust and personalization of advice.

However, for a lack of representation, #1 also has its advantages over the overly represented #2 with respect to anonymity; especially depending on how sensitive the problem is and whether or not it can affect how your peers will view you thereafter.

'wonder if people had thought about that.

:werd:

#2 cuz my friends know me better than people on forums, and they would have also been around to see what/how it all happened so they'd be able to give me better advice about the situtation

drop the girl like a hot potato and move on, never look back. tell the family she died in a car wreck and never mention her name again. if she shows up say its a guh-guh-guh-ghost, run staionary in mid air for a few seconds then take off.