Trouble with 5 year long relashionship

[RunningFree]

Damn son... sorry to hear. The fact that you're able to speak about it means you're headed in the right direction. It always hurts at the start... but you must move forward. Live your life!

[SuperSlowSS]

you need this thread:
http://www.revscene.net/forums/no-arms-no-t634100.html

[BoostedBB6]

Ya I saw that thread. That guys is amazing for how he can see the good even in the worst situations.
Hes quite an inspiration but I still feel lost in all this. Its messed up how much a single person can mean to you. Its like she died and I'm trying to deal with it something.

I need to get the fuck out of dodge! haha where are all the sensible, caring, attractive, funny ladies hiding these days?

[Dinan3]

I'm sorry to hear the outcome. You need to put yourself back in the market as soon as possible. Get yourself a few new dates and it'll definitely help you forget the break up sooner. You'll soon realize that there are a lot of great girls out there. Good luck!

[BoostedBB6]

Originally Posted by Dinan3

I'm sorry to hear the outcome. You need to put yourself back in the market as soon as possible. Get yourself a few new dates and it'll definitely help you forget the break up sooner. You'll soon realize that there are a lot of great girls out there. Good luck!

Indeed, just where to find the ladies I like :P

Where to find them is the trick now. I dont want any LG's or sluts. Those are a dime a dozen.
Guess its time i hit on all the hotties at the gym lol.
Shit, now I remember why i dont drink.

[dhari]

sorry to hear what happened man. it is good that you are openly talking bout it though. keep busy, spend time with friends and family and maybe try reading some more. you will get over it after a bit. keep up the good work though

[typ.]

^ I agree, keep yourself busy. Find a hobby you always wanted to do but never got around to it. Don't sit around!

[BoostedBB6]

Ya, well I don't have any more options anymore.
My choices now are to keep going on and deal with this as best as I can or see how fast I can ride my bike into a wall.
I would much rather live so the bike thing just doesn't work for me right now :P
Fuck, I never thought I would be going through this with her. All I want to do is be with her and I don't know how I will be able to manage to make it through this.

This is the worst start to the year possible. 2011 was going to be a year of big and exciting changes for us now it is a year of sadness and loneliness. Fucking sucks.

I will see her tonight when she comes by. We have to sort through all our stuff and figure out what's hers and whats mine. She may spend the night. I hope she does, I would really like the time to talk to her about everything that has happened and what is going in in her head because I just don't understand where I (we) went wrong.

As for hobbies, I will probably get out and start shooting some more. I use to go quite often but it got very costly and time consuming so I stopped. But I don't feel that that is something smart for me to do right now. Not in the mental state I'm in now anyway.

I wish I wasn't so in love with her. This would be so much easier for me if I just didn't love her so much.

[RunningFree]

^ I would advise against her staying the night. You can talk to her ... but send her home for your own sake. You need to start the healing process and as much as you want to see her... if you can force yourself not too, you'll be much better off in the long run.

[BoostedBB6]

Originally Posted by RunningFree

^ I would advise against her staying the night. You can talk to her ... but send her home for your own sake. You need to start the healing process and as much as you want to see her... if you can force yourself not too, you'll be much better off in the long run.

I would send her home, but I know if she decides she wants to stay there is no part of me that would be able to tell her to leave.
Not going to lie, i still feel that some where there may be a chance for us but letting go just seems like its something impossible right now.

She is apparently leaving in February to move back to Boise. Not sure how the hell she will be able to with her school lone here, no job to get to, two cell phones in her name she has to pay for, ect ect. Not the mention becoming a US citizen again.
I don't know. I love her to much to just let go. She is still everything to me.

[!Yaminashi]

As much as she means to you, she's made it clear she cannot be with you.
Several people have mentioned earlier in the thread that once a woman has made up her mind, it wont change, and I agree with this.

Letting her stay the night will only hurt you more. I'm also going to guess that she wont REALLY be wanting to discuss what's happened if she feels horrible about what she's putting you through.

Just send her home, you need to move on ASAP. You said you dont know how you're going to manage to make it through this, take the first step by NOT letting her stay the night.

Now its time to look out for yourself, and yourself only.

[BoostedBB6]

I know that's the right things to do but so much easier said than done.

I guess we will see. I want to talk to her tho. I need to know what the hell went wrong. I need to know so that I never make this mistake again because when I move on it is going to be hard for me to trust another woman. This is the worst thing I have ever been through and I never want to experience this kind of hurt again.

[!Yaminashi]

^I see your point and I also agree with wanting to know what went wrong. But I highly advise against letting her stay over.

That being said, good luck with whatever you decide. Hopefully talking with her brings you more insight than pain.

[6793026]

It's ok buddy, you'll find out in the future this is just a big hiccup in your life. It's ok to let go and it's a fact of life. I rather you go thru this than to have to break up when you're moved in and engaged, it's better now that she's going back to her roots and just going back to family. It's one reason why I don't really date chicks who doesn't have her roots stationed at one place. That's another story.

I know you love her still but you ain't giong to get closure until you fully move on. We have all said this before like gabillion times, delete her from MSN, text off your phone, hide her (not delete) from FB and untag photos. It really hurts but it will help you get over her.

move on and welcome to 2011.

[BoostedBB6]

Originally Posted by 6793026

It's ok buddy, you'll find out in the future this is just a big hiccup in your life. It's ok to let go and it's a fact of life. I rather you go thru this than to have to break up when you're moved in and engaged, it's better now that she's going back to her roots and just going back to family. It's one reason why I don't really date chicks who doesn't have her roots stationed at one place. That's another story.

I know you love her still but you ain't giong to get closure until you fully move on. We have all said this before like gabillion times, delete her from MSN, text off your phone, hide her (not delete) from FB and untag photos. It really hurts but it will help you get over her.

move on and welcome to 2011.

Believe me, I want to move on. I don't want to feel like this. But 5 years of my life went to her. I gave up so many chances to be with other people. I was faithful, I would never do that to someone I care about.
As for deleting stuff, well i hid an album I had of her pictures on my FB but I don't know if I can ignore her just yet. Still to much pain there I think.

[TheNewGirl]

I'm really sorry to hear how thins fell for you FDTT but at least you know you gave it an honest go and you learned some stuff about yourself that will help you in future relationships.

[BoostedBB6]

Originally Posted by TheNewGirl

I'm really sorry to hear how thins fell for you FDTT but at least you know you gave it an honest go and you learned some stuff about yourself that will help you in future relationships.

Shit thing is tho I didn't even get to give it an honest go. I got to send tons of txt messages to her and try to solve it that way.
I'm hoping that talking will do much more than I can relay in a txt to her.

Oh and to make shit even worse, I was packing up some of her stuff yesterday and found a scrap book she was making about our relationship. Thought my heart actually stopped working when I opened it. It had stuff in it from our very first date till last year in December when we went to England for two weeks for her grandmothers 100th birthday.
It's so impossible to think that after all we have been through that she just stopped loving me. FUCK!!!!

[TOS'd]

Leave ring out in open (providing you still have it) and go from there? Not like you can lose her more than you already have.

[BoostedBB6]

Originally Posted by TOS'd

Leave ring out in open (providing you still have it) and go from there? Not like you can lose her more than you already have.

Its gone already

Had to get rid of it to cover my ass when we fell through on the apartment.

[chenny]

Agreed with Crayon box.

[v.Rossi]

Hey bud, I know it hurts inside. Every man goes through this pain. You know what happens after? We only become stronger. Heh, I guess you could say what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. Sometimes the pain becomes unbearable that I just want to put the car in 6th gear and drive straight into a brick wall. But realize you have to hurt in order to know, because most life lessons are learned through pain.

Just think positive, keep your head up. I know this is comparing apples and oranges, but just keep thinking about all the things your grateful for. The fact that you're in good health, you have a home when others don't. You have an education, when people would die for a book. Just don't forget about the little things that make you, you.

Your friends and family are there by your side, but since this is a fresh wound just have some time solely for yourself. Take long deep breaths.

Let everything burn and let it cut deep, real deep. The truth is that woman know where relationships are going to be going. They have a secret agenda: when a woman starts a relationship, she knows exactly what she wants, what she is looking for, and how long it will last. Ninety per cent of the time, she will also control where the relationship is or isn't going. If the relationship fails, then it was her turf. Of course unless she cheats and lies, but at that time you should have picked up the clues. However, that's a different story. Just remember it was her call.

If you want someone go for it, if your motto is good will eventually come to those who wait. I say it won't last. If you want something, dive for it!

However, don't fight against reality. Some people try to fight reality, they try to think positive and always say "if you put your mind to it you can accomplish anything," but what they don't realize is "if you put your mind to it you can accomplish anything if it has potential". So If a woman breaks a date the guy always thinks if he's positive and persistent he can keep trying and it will happen by magic, but if she breaks a date then she's not interested, which means the cause has no potential. That's like trying to start your truck, for the fanboys GT-R, after it runs out of gas and you think positively it will run without gas, you keep trying to start it and run the battery down and being faced with reality, but despite the reality you still think positive and run every battery down in the world before it starts.

If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. When it comes to relationships, anything is possible. I'm sure you're a good guy, a great guy with great intentions. Some other woman will realize this, her name is Miss Right. It may not be your next girlfriend, may not be the next three girls but it will happen. Don't hope for Miss Right, just spend quality time with your next fish. If you enjoy her attitude, what more can you ask for?

Just run your whole relationship from day one through your head again, realize the right and the wrongs. Improve yourself at this point as to not fall into the same situation again.

Life probably feels like shit right now, but just keep doing what you do. Continue with life, but keep in mind you are angry inside. Don't take it out on coworkers, friends etc. If you have nothing nice to say, just remain quiet and do your own thing. We all have our own lives, and our own bullshit to go through. We just keep your composure up and put on a smile and anticipate a better future.

Btw, you don't have to delete her off facebook or out of your life completely. Some of my friends are still friends with their ex's despite cheating on them or whatever. They keep in touch, nothing personal of course. Both parties know a relationship will never happen again, but it's just little acquaintance here and there. I find it bold and classy. To put their pride aside, very hard to do especially after a history. But that's a preference thing, that's up to you.

Don't find methods to make her jealous either. Forget her, she's down on memory lane now. If she wants back, well I just hope you have a spine.

You'll become a better stronger person, best of luck.

[MarkyMark]

Only time is going to help you get over it, the hottest chick in the world could want you tomorrow and you'll still feel like shit. You will eventually get over it though just roll with the punches.
Posted via RS Mobile

[miss_crayon]

I wouldn't recommend digging to find "what went wrong" cause chances are she'll never tell you the actual truth. If she wanted to, she would have in the first place and you probably would have said "let me fix it." To her, nothing is fixable beCause she doesn't want it to be fixed..--the relationship is done to her.

PLUS, as someone who had her heart smashed to pieces before...even if she did open up her heart and tell you what went wrong you're gonna completely overanalyze every.damn.thing when really....the things she found wrong could be completely normal to you or to the person you're gonna find love with in the future.

Having your heart broken is not easy, especially when so much love, time and effort has been spent but there is a light at every tunnel. Don't look at this being the worst thing that can happen to you at the start of this year...but the development of a brand new you to a brand new life. She and no one will ever be able to MAKE you who you are, only you can define who and what you will become.

As for now, I'd strongly suggest focusing your time on you and only you. Starting new relationships or dating will only make you more open to hurt and bad memories. Take the time to just be by yourself, cause after 5 years I'm sure it will feel a little foreign to do things by yourself--but absolutely doable and you'd be surprised how proud you'll be at the end of it.
Posted via RS Mobile

[?NR]

2011 is here. New and seperate beginnings for you, and her. I stress on the seperate portion. Put the remainder friendship on the back burner, and remember how to live your life on your own. You were single once before, remember what made you happy when you were single. Having a partner is good, but able to be happy and content by yourself is what you need as well. Time to revisit old friends, and things that you've dropped when you got involved.

That era is over, onto a new era.

ps : never place blame on yourself. Things just turned out that way.

Pps : don't wonder how's she's doing. She moved on already without you, long time ago.
Posted via RS Mobile

[Mr.HappySilp]

Sorry to hear. Just keep yourself busy and hope for the b est.

My heart have been smash into so many pieces I don't think it can ever be fixed ><