REVscene - Vancouver Automotive Forum

Marioo1991 · 04-28-2011, 12:13 PM

I would stay out of it, the most you should do is give your buddy some good advice.

civic_rice · 04-28-2011, 12:14 PM

Tag team the 20 year old

Jsunu · 04-28-2011, 12:20 PM

I can see the 20 yr girl getting bored and dumping his ass. I just feel so sorry for his wife and two kids in this situation. Who gives a shit if you are in "love". Bullshit, you are just a selfish prick that is following his dick instead of his moral compass.

joquio · 04-28-2011, 01:32 PM

"The Fierce Wife"

Soundy · 04-28-2011, 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Z3guy

You can't beat new young pussy, simple as that.....obviously young pussy is clouding your bud's brain, totally understand that....but the grass on the other side is rarely greener....it might seem greener, but in the long term it is rarely greener.

This is one case where the grass being green is NOT a good thing (if there's grass at all!)

Then again, as Soundgarden said, "The grass is always greener/Where the dogs are shitting". I think that applies here as well, in some twisted way...

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheNewGirl

Hey now! Dan Savage gives good advice.
.

Agreed! Just that I'm starting to sound like him... at least in that last post. He ain't the most delicate guy around

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jsunu

I can see the 20 yr girl getting bored and dumping his ass.

This is just it: it's exciting for her too. He's the "forbidden fruit". He's a bad boy, and what they're doing is dangerous... and she loves that feeling. I'd give about a 5% chance that she DOESN'T know, or at least strongly suspect, that he's married - THAT is the thrill of it all. And at the same time, it makes him "safe" for her - the minute he leaves his wife, she knows he'll get clingy and want a "relationship" and that probably doesn't fit in with her plans for having fun.

And that applies just the same, whether or not she is actually using him for other ends.

terryjai · 04-28-2011, 04:28 PM

tell your buddy....look at what happend to tiger woods.....crashed caddie and golf clubs flying everywhere...and people around him leaving/not supporting him....your buddy should know better to go play with a fling...when things gets old...the 20 year old would leave him for another.

SpuGen · 04-28-2011, 08:08 PM

TheNewGirl · 04-28-2011, 09:04 PM

Dan Savage has a great quote about how we should think about monogamy less like virginity and more like sobriety. Over the course of being with someone for 50 years or some, most people fall off the wagon a few times in some way or another but they dust themselves off and climb back up on the wagon and start working on it again.

Now, I'm not saying and I never will that it's okay to cheat though I think some of the puritanical notions people have about marriage and relationships are unrealistic as hell. In this case what matters is, is the guy gonna sober up and get back on the wagon or is he going to continue on his bimbo bender until he ruins his life(and his wife's too potentially)?

If you do talk to him about it that way every again, maybe thinking about it that way would help keep it in perspective?

scottsman · 04-29-2011, 12:57 AM

Unless the wife is related to you or you have known her a hell of a lot longer than the guy you are in no place to tell her about this.

You have already done your part to tell him your opinion and what you think. Probably best to just stay out of it at this point or reason with him again.

Soundy · 04-29-2011, 06:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheNewGirl

Dan Savage has a great quote about how we should think about monogamy less like virginity and more like sobriety. Over the course of being with someone for 50 years or some, most people fall off the wagon a few times in some way or another but they dust themselves off and climb back up on the wagon and start working on it again.

Now, I'm not saying and I never will that it's okay to cheat though I think some of the puritanical notions people have about marriage and relationships are unrealistic as hell. In this case what matters is, is the guy gonna sober up and get back on the wagon or is he going to continue on his bimbo bender until he ruins his life(and his wife's too potentially)?

If you do talk to him about it that way every again, maybe thinking about it that way would help keep it in perspective?

Brilliant. Marry me!

TheNewGirl · 04-29-2011, 07:21 AM

I so don't believe in marriage or at least the way most people view it to be is something I'm suited for. :P

But I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thinks that way. Usually people think I'm nuts when I refer to thinking like that. Though typically it's the femi-nazis who seem to feel I should have to surrender my girl card for saying so.

Marioo1991 · 04-29-2011, 07:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheNewGirl

I so don't believe in marriage or at least the way most people view it to be is something I'm suited for. :P

But I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thinks that way. Usually people think I'm nuts when I refer to thinking like that. Though typically it's the femi-nazis who seem to feel I should have to surrender my girl card for saying so.

I believe that marriage is not for everyone. I don't like it how theres so much social pressure to get married, which results in people getting married for the wrong reasons.

TheNewGirl · 04-29-2011, 08:51 AM

There's also enormous pressure to make your marriage conform to the standards of your culture too (or ideals cause they aren't really the standards). Which is a huge contributer to divorce.

I read a fantastic book called Sex At Dawn a while back which is about the evolutionary history of sexual relationships and how generally through most of our evolutionary history the model we have now has not existed and even when we did start to form possessive pair bonds, monogamy while it was the message was not at all the norm. It also goes into a lot of really interesting stuff about group dynamics, genetic inheritence and a wack load of other topics all from a scientific/academic perspective.

Again not that I think everyone should be fucking around with everyone and their brother but until people break the association in their head that desire = love they'll always get in trouble cause you have to have enough emotional insight to separate the two or you make the mistake of thinking you're in love when really you just wanna tap some hot 20 year old (and do it cause you think it's love).

Here's Dan's monogomy is like sobriety talk:

http://bcove.me/uitg5o2p

gdoh · 04-29-2011, 09:06 AM

seems like your friend needs to man the fuck up and talk about his problems with his wife so they can come to an agreement on his/her needs. and he needs to stop being so fuckin selfish and think of whats best for his kids.

Greenstoner · 04-29-2011, 09:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by joquio

"The Fierce Wife"

me and my gf loved watching it, half way into the series was kinda boring tho lol

es2k · 04-29-2011, 12:13 PM

hey man! in my opinion, dont tell anyone. keep it to yourself.
as a friend/bro, u should not fuck his life up. its his choice. u can only give him opinion.
if he asks u for opinion, that already means he trusts u and thinks that u will not tell anyone anything.
i personally think u shouldnt even post this on RS. because whoever knows you read this MIGHT be able to guess who this guy is and then it wont be a secret anymore.

there are so many more fucked up things in life which u could help fix...not someone elses love problems?

just my 2centssss hope i didnt offend anyone have a good day

The_AK · 04-29-2011, 02:44 PM

Tell him that the marginal value of the 20 year old pussy may be high at the moment but the total value from his wife is higher. In the long run he'll end up in the same place.

Quote:

Originally Posted by es2k

hey man! in my opinion, dont tell anyone. keep it to yourself.
as a friend/bro, u should not fuck his life up. its his choice. u can only give him opinion.
if he asks u for opinion, that already means he trusts u and thinks that u will not tell anyone anything.

Also, this. (as long as you don't reveal his identity, lol)

You shouldn't tell anyone else this matter. You'd be a shitty friend if you told someone his secret, don't go down to his level. But keep us posted with what road he decides to take.

phunky.FOB · 04-29-2011, 10:51 PM

...shes 20.. hes 37 with good job. probly just gold diggin. this is first stage she tries to act like the all innocent to get up there. then she becomes the evil witch bitch. (true story. my family.)

and yea don't bother getting into it.

Girl · 04-29-2011, 10:53 PM

Your friend must look pretty young or super hot.

phunky.FOB · 04-29-2011, 10:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Girl

Your friend must look pretty young or super hot.

or just has a nice fair amount of money. these days i think that's what most young girls are looking for.

Girl · 04-29-2011, 11:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phunky.FOB

or just has a nice fair amount of money. these days i think that's what most young girls are looking for.

But at 20? Maybe I'm just getting old. At that age I would have done 33 tops. Anybody older than 35 I would have thought ancient and my dignity was enough to keep me from them unless i can pass my sugar daddy off for being 30ish. Or maybe i"ve been in Hong Kong too long....just find yourself a young China man powered by Mommy and Daddy, then you can compare your LV purses with eachother!

Soundy · 04-30-2011, 06:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Girl

But at 20? Maybe I'm just getting old. At that age I would have done 33 tops. Anybody older than 35 I would have thought ancient and my dignity was enough to keep me from them unless i can pass my sugar daddy off for being 30ish.

I'm regularly mistaken for being 10 years younger than I really am... I'll be your sugar daddy

(Just don't tell my wife, since it's mostly her money

)

corollagtSr5 · 05-08-2011, 01:51 AM

vafanculo · 05-08-2011, 10:39 AM

shits gonna blow up in his face. and when it does, he will be his worst judge.

just sit back and enjoy the show. dont get involved.

Alpine · 05-08-2011, 12:29 PM

My social psychology teacher once told my class that the "optimal" age for a female is 20-23. He wasn't trying to be sexist or anything, but in terms of fertility, peak physical condition and all of the other aspects that are hardwired into a male's brain, girls in that age group will always be the most "attractive". He had a fellow psychologist that took all of this one step further though. When his friend was 20, he dated 20 year old girls. When his friend was 30, he dated 20 year old girls. When his friend was 40, he dated 20 year old girls. And now his friend is over 60, and he is still dating 20 year old girls.

You're definitely in a tough spot and from the sounds of it, this will just continue to eat you up even after it has been resolved. The question is... are you willing to lose a friend?