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haymura · 10-09-2011, 10:25 AM

so my friend is in a situation that, to me, seems messed up and i wanna give him advice but i have no freakin clue where to begin. So i ask the experts on RS.

my friend liked this girl and decided to pursue. eventually they fell for each other but the girl was hiding something quite important and didnt mention it till recently. the girl was married and legally still is but the husband left her and they are no longer together but not legally divorced. My friend is really into this girl and i think the girl is also into him. What should my friend do? is he swimming in a pool of lava or can something good come out of this? by the way, the girl has a 1 year old kid.

illicitstylz · 10-09-2011, 10:35 AM

have her take half of the husband's assets.

then your friend jumps in with her newfound assets.

haymura · 10-09-2011, 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by illicitstylz

have her take half of the husband's assets.

then your friend jumps in with her newfound assets.

well played...

i actually tried telling him that but he's obviously not in the joking mood...

Graeme S · 10-09-2011, 11:24 AM

Who says it's a joke?

bcty · 10-09-2011, 02:43 PM

It's not a big deal. Old guys gone. It's just a signature on a piece of paper. If she wants to with him and he wants to be with her then happy endings
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guddagudd · 10-09-2011, 07:45 PM

Does your friend know she has a kid? I mean if he does know, and he's fine with it then everything's fine. The only problem is that if your friend wants to marry the girl but can't do it because the girl is already "married".

Yuffa · 10-09-2011, 10:22 PM

What about custody battle? Matter to consider if he wants to be in the middle of that...

Lamboda · 10-09-2011, 11:46 PM

Advice is advice. Your friend has a choice to take your advice and you can choose to take our advice as well. Don't sweat over it too much. But what I suggest is that your buddy should take a break from this woman because she's still not fully divorced yet. Until the papers are signed she's not free. How long does it take to get a divorce paper signed? I don't know but if it's taking a really really long time, start questioning her love for your buddy.

instantneedles · 10-10-2011, 12:16 AM

What was the reason behind the divorce? I doubt you would ever get the husbands side of the story. Although they both love each other, a woman who has commited to a divorce with her husband has the capacity to do it again. It hurts me to see children getting torn away from their blood related parents. If your friend really does love the woman, tell him to think this through and evaluate the pros and cons of being together with this woman and her daughter for the remainder of his life. With a 1 year old daughter, this woman isn't going to fuck around. If he really loves the woman enough to be with her AND her daughter, then props to him. If not, tell him to pull his fucking ass out of there or he will ruin the life of a little girl. This isn't a game we're talking about. What he does or doesnt do will affect the future of that little girl.
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4doorVIP · 10-10-2011, 12:16 AM

I've seen this a couple times, if they stay together your friend and the woman will fight for custody of the 1 year old. Then your friend the woman will end up having a child or two of their own, your friend will eventually become unhappy because she's a blood sucking whore, then ditch the woman just like that other guy. I'd stay far away, there's a reason the first guy bounced

Noir · 10-10-2011, 12:32 AM

Ugh. So many bad advice again. You can't prematurely assume the female is a bitch; or the ex-husband is a douche.

Just keep it simple.

Putting all of the above uncertainties aside, it boils down to 2 things. She likes your friend; and her husband left her. As far as I see it, the ball is in his court and any decision at this point on should be in his best interest. If that parallel's the female's best interest, so be it. If not, then too bad for her.

As for the kid, he/she won't be the only one who's had to deal with divorced parents and won't be the last. Just because he/she "may" get a new daddy doesn't necessarily mean it's a bad thing; nor does it mean for a guy being suddenly responsible for child neccessarily mean a bad thing for him either.

haymura · 10-10-2011, 06:37 AM

thanks for the advices. I used some of these advices here (obviously picked the sensible ones) and told him to think it through.

according to the girl the guy bailed when she got pregnant. im assuming its a common case of man leaves girl after girl gets knocked up but i do agree with instantneedles that you can never really tell whats the whole truth since its impossible to know the guy's side. Regardless, i gave my friend the advice that he needed to hear (thank you RS) and i'll leave it to him to figure out what he wants to do.

instantneedles · 10-10-2011, 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by haymura

thanks for the advices. I used some of these advices here (obviously picked the sensible ones) and told him to think it through.

according to the girl the guy bailed when she got pregnant. im assuming its a common case of man leaves girl after girl gets knocked up but i do agree with instantneedles that you can never really tell whats the whole truth since its impossible to know the guy's side. Regardless, i gave my friend the advice that he needed to hear (thank you RS) and i'll leave it to him to figure out what he wants to do.

Glad to be of help. Hope everything works out for him because this could be a hit or miss to a great future ahead of him as a husband and as a father.
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racerman88 · 10-10-2011, 07:53 PM

don't know why she hasn't filed for divorce yet? She should do it asap