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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex... |
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11-16-2011, 11:06 PM
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#26 | | Rs has made me the man i am today!
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I don't think it's such a big deal since it is her condo that you're currently living in. I let my gf know if she slams my car door too hard.
My gf and I bought a condo together almost 2 years ago. Once in a while she'll make comments like how it's her place even though we're both paying the mortgage for it. I just let her be if it makes her happy.
The only thing I care about is if she really loves me. Everything else is just adaptation.
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11-17-2011, 12:59 AM
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#27 | | I WANT MY 10 YEARS BACK FROM RS.net!
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That's one major reason I don't frequently talk about this in front of her, even though I was invited to stay, the place is not even hers, what do I get to say?
A buddy of mine told me buy another place before thing gets worse, but it makes no sense to I buy another apartment at the same price and size I sold, so I'd wait for another year until the market cools down a bit further to take action.
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11-17-2011, 01:49 AM
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#28 | | Retired moderator
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Originally Posted by asian_XL  That's one major reason I don't frequently talk about this in front of her, even though I was invited to stay, the place is not even hers, what do I get to say?
A buddy of mine told me buy another place before thing gets worse, but it makes no sense to I buy another apartment at the same price and size I sold, so I'd wait for another year until the market cools down a bit further to take action. | Really? you guys talk about buying another place in HK like buying another cell phone. That's insane, dunno how you guys do it.
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11-17-2011, 02:28 AM
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#29 | | Hacked RS to become a mod
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My FIANCE and I aren't getting along at her parents' play so I am going to BUY A CONDO and live on my own until we get MARRIED.
Yeah that doesn't quite work in my brain...
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11-17-2011, 04:54 AM
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#30 | | I answer every Emotion with an emoticon
Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: somewhere
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Inside the house, its the womens domain... they mostly do all the work, like cleaning and cooking... so.... all i can say is, IF you want pussy every night, Do not Piss Her Off..
But if you guys are splitting up the chores and stuff, why are you living together in the first place.. just get a roommate..
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11-17-2011, 07:28 AM
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#31 | | I subscribe to the Fight Club ONLY
Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: BC, HK, USA
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To be honest, my gf has her place and if I move in there are 2 things I'm worried about
1) we had a fight, and she threw all my shit back to my place. That's a huge warning sign when they go crazy. You would never know when and where she'll break and say "THIS IS MY PLACE< get the FUCK out"
2) Don't feel obligated. Pay your part in rent / or chip in of some sort, but don't have her say "I live here, you are chipping in, i EXPECT you to cook dinner"
You can tell her to STFU and go fuck herself.
Just lay the ground rules straight, do you really NEED to move in with her, you want your man cave, your own room, so just let it be, just go home and sleep on your own bed. You get no drama and you get to appreciated so much more.
Anyhoo, my 2 cents.
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11-17-2011, 08:39 AM
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#32 | | Banned By Establishment
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SkinnyPupp is right.
Like is said before...there is something else going on. This just isn't about the fucking condo. If everything in the relationship was going great and you guys are excited and planning to be together forever, the fact that you left your toothbrush in the bathroom in the wrong spot would no be a problem.
She isn't ready for a mature relationship/marriage.
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11-17-2011, 09:11 AM
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#33 | | Glorious Gaming PC Master Race
Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Coquitlam y0!
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relations ships are 50/50
pay her half for the condo and get your name on ownership. then you can say "this is OUR house."
everytime you argue, it will be get out of MY house until you do.
buy a new place or buy it off her parents 50/50 problem solved.
if she wont go for it, don't move in/stay there.
she's obviously holding back because she is unsure of you and wants to keep her safety line (home) to run back to
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11-17-2011, 09:18 AM
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#34 | | I keep RS good
Join Date: May 2001 Location: Cosmos
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a wise man once told me, to let the wife win/control all the little things.
the color of the drapes?
the color of the (family) car?
the furniture?
whatever man. that shit is small shit. for real. just let her pick and run the house. it's a SMALL thing.
you make the big decisions. the actual condo, the actual car. and she'll fill in the rest of the details.
kings got a kingdom to run, let the queen run the small details of the castle.
i think dinosaur is also right, lol, change in woman's attitude (usually when they suddenly become a fucking bitch all the god damn time over things they didnt use to be a bitch over about), usually means they've got something on their mind.
AKA
asian XL: "what's wrong hunny?"
woman XL: "NOTHING."
I don't know how old she is but, i've noticed... since 30 is the new 20...
same for maturity.
yeah women mature faster, but then it just kinda stops at a certain point.
then men grow up real fucking fast when 30 approaches, or whenever they get real fucking responsibilities, like a REAL job, and potentially having to support a whole family under their wing.
it's not until later when a woman reaches her late 20's or early 30's does reality kick in, and they give up their fantasies and settle for what they have.
and seeing as how in most relationships the man is older...
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11-17-2011, 10:16 AM
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#35 | | Hypa owned my ass at least once
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Originally Posted by asian_XL That's one major reason I don't frequently talk about this in front of her, even though I was invited to stay, the place is not even hers, what do I get to say?
A buddy of mine told me buy another place before thing gets worse, but it makes no sense to I buy another apartment at the same price and size I sold, so I'd wait for another year until the market cools down a bit further to take action. |
exactly. Just appreciate it for what is which is "a free, or low cost way of living (if u chip in for utils)."; which is an opportunity/benefit not a lot of people can enjoy, and would love to be in your shoes right now.
As for your urge to start nesting, hold off on it until you and your fiancee have a property of your own. Totally reasonable.
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11-18-2011, 01:04 PM
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#36 | | RS has made me the bitter person i am today!
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Originally Posted by asian_XL That's one major reason I don't frequently talk about this in front of her, even though I was invited to stay, the place is not even hers, what do I get to say?
A buddy of mine told me buy another place before thing gets worse, but it makes no sense to I buy another apartment at the same price and size I sold, so I'd wait for another year until the market cools down a bit further to take action. | Then why don't you rent a place until you figure out what the true issues are for her? I mean, aren't you balling? What's 10-12 grand in rent for piece of mind?
I honestly could never live in a woman's house until my name was on the legal title too. Posted via RS Mobile | |
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11-18-2011, 03:58 PM
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#37 | | I WANT MY 10 YEARS BACK FROM RS.net!
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rent for a 600sq ft apartment in asia is like $15-2000cdn, depends on location. With all the money spent on rent does not solve the current problem, she will not move to the new renting place anyway as this one is 10 minutes from her work. 20 grand a year, I prefer paying off all the wedding expenses.
I am not in my early 20s anymore, I spend way less on cars, beer, electronic gadgets and stuff.
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11-18-2011, 05:23 PM
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#38 | | RS has made me the bitter person i am today!
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Originally Posted by asian_XL rent for a 600sq ft apartment in asia is like $15-2000cdn, depends on location. With all the money spent on rent does not solve the current problem, she will not move to the new renting place anyway as this one is 10 minutes from her work. 20 grand a year, I prefer paying off all the wedding expenses.
I am not in my early 20s anymore, I spend way less on cars, beer, electronic gadgets and stuff. | Maybe you missed my point - you should move out of her place and into your own place and figure out what's wrong with your relationship. Perhaps, not seeing each other every day will allow you two to work out whatever issues you have.
Would you rather spend 20 grand in the short term and perhaps discover that you two aren't really ready to get married, or risk throwing your life and investment portfolio away as a result of a potentially bad marriage? It seems like an easy choice to me (especially to man with your means.)
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11-18-2011, 05:54 PM
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#39 | | WOAH! i think Vtec just kicked in!
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Originally Posted by asian_XL something small, like a tooth brush holder, my own cup from dollar store, or clothes hangers that don't match the rest etc. and then a lot of things like xmisstrinh mentioned, like toilet seat down all the time, kitchen lights should be turned on, should not take the garbage out after 10 or something. | My clothes hanger need to match or it bugs me lol, but i think you two need to sit down and talk about what bugs each other and go from there. Just sounds like lack of communication.
Hope it works out for you too. Posted via RS Mobile | |
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11-18-2011, 06:33 PM
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#40 | | Banned By Establishment
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This condo shit is a topic...it ain't the issue.
Throughout relationships you have tons of random topics that cause random arguments....dirty socks on the floor, doing the dishes, not taking out the trash, who said what in a random argument, etc...little topics that all have an underlying issue.
what is the ISSUE?
Is she not ready to get married?
Is she not ready to live with you?
Money?
Independence?
All of this stems from a bigger issue.
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11-23-2011, 10:32 PM
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#41 | | Captain Happy Bubble is my Homeboy
Join Date: May 2007 Location: Kelowna, Canada
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here's a shortcut
find a woman you hate, buy her a house, and move on with your life
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11-25-2011, 08:52 PM
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#42 | | WOAH! i think Vtec just kicked in!
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its hard to b in a relationship if either one starts counting this and that.
if that is the case, be that way. but just rmbr, if you do count every nickel and penny; whats the difference between friends and fiance??
irly dunno.
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11-25-2011, 09:00 PM
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#43 | | I contribute to threads in the offtopic forum
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Find a corner in her apartment and pee there. Mark your territory. Posted via RS Mobile | |
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11-29-2011, 04:29 AM
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#44 | | Willing to sell body for a few minutes on RS
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I suspect once you buy something together the whole mine vs yours will go away. We have our house, this is shared obviously and nobody feels like it's soley theirs. We have our money which is again shared. I have money and things that are mine, she also has money and things that are hers. I have a media room that is mine to do whatever I want in, she has a craft room that is hers. She decided how to decorate that I do what I want in my media room. I leave the rest of the house to her because well she's a woman and they like to decorate and I could careless but I could give input if I wanted to.
We find it works really well. We pool most of our money to pay any bills associated with the home, mortgage, hydro, gas, cable, taxes, food ect.... We then have money that is just ours which works great because I don't have to feel guilty about go out and buying something for me, going to the pub, buying a watch or some material item or whatever. This has served us really well, we've been living together in our own place over 10 years, together 15 and we never fight about money.
Find what works for you. I think your fiance is protective about the place because it's her parents. Once you get your own place together I think it will change or at least it should.
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The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place... and I donīt care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently, if you let it. You, me or nobody, is gonna hit as hard as life. But ain't about how hard you hit... It's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward... how much you can take, and keep moving forward. Thatīs how winning is done. Now, if you know what you worth, go out and get what you worth. - Rocky Balboa | |
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