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Relationship & Gender DiscussionTHIS SPACE OPEN FOR ADVERTISEMENT. YOU SHOULD BE ADVERTISING HERE! The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...
a friend of a friend is always a good way as well. im sure some of your buddies have some girls in their social circle. invite those girls out along with your buddies, and insist they bring some of their girlfriends out as well.
do some group activities and youll get closer to those girls. if it doesnt work out with those girls, im sure they have their own circle of girlfriends which you will get to know soon too
Perhaps I've been really unlucky in terms of the friends I chose (or perhaps I unknowingly burned bridges in my earlier years), but I have a circle of friends that is very closed and none of the guys within that circle really have any other friends who know women that are interested in meeting guys. Moreover, the female friends that I did have growing up are all in long-term relationships (or married) and they know virtually no women who are single and actually interested in meeting new people.
I would say that over the last 4-5 years, I've had to go out on my own to try and meet people. I've done it all - Plenty of Fish, speed dating, dance classes, Meetup groups, sports, clubs, and going to various bars in the city alone. Heck, I've been to nearly 10 weddings in the past 3 years (and I've been the Master of Ceremonies for 6.) I've had a bit of success, but for the most part, it's been a slog.
I'm certainly not looking for pity, but I am sharing this to give the younger guys out there a dose of reality. At the end of the day, you have to continue to live your life and try to remain positive.
Perhaps I've been really unlucky in terms of the friends I chose (or perhaps I unknowingly burned bridges in my earlier years), but I have a circle of friends that is very closed and none of the guys within that circle really have any other friends who know women that are interested in meeting guys. Moreover, the female friends that I did have growing up are all in long-term relationships (or married) and they know virtually no women who are single and actually interested in meeting new people.
I would say that over the last 4-5 years, I've had to go out on my own to try and meet people. I've done it all - Plenty of Fish, speed dating, dance classes, Meetup groups, sports, clubs, and going to various bars in the city alone. Heck, I've been to nearly 10 weddings in the past 3 years (and I've been the Master of Ceremonies for 6.) I've had a bit of success, but for the most part, it's been a slog.
I'm certainly not looking for pity, but I am sharing this to give the younger guys out there a dose of reality. At the end of the day, you have to continue to live your life and try to remain positive.
my fuckin fob taiwanese friend does it. he's 32 and married with kids, and he picks up chicks downtown fcukin everyday i swear. once a playa always a playa lol.
he works downtown, and during breaks and lunch he just walks around and every hot girl he sees he just strikes up a conversation and gets their number.
and he's a fuckin FOB with a medium accent a sorta shitty grammar
if HE can do it. you can do it.
learning how to pick up girls is a SKILL. some people have it naturally, but other people don't have it in them. they have to learn it, but you don't go to school for this shit, and most people never teach you.
you have to learn yourself. breaking that "anxious" feeling, is the hardest part. after that's done... you can approach super models and not feel scared.
doesn't mean you'll fuck them, but it'll get you a lot further than not doing anything at all.
oh and whoever else in this thread said to hookup with your old friends again, that is also a good idea.
meet people through your different circle of friends.
these things don't just "come". they need to be built up from a base.
there's many ways to meet girls, but those are all "upper" levels of the tree.
if you don't even have level 1, you can't do level 5. ya get what i mean?
"im not sociable"
"i don't like parties"
"im not confident enough to do cold pickups"
"i don't have many friends outside my one circle"
those, are all mistakes that have to be corrected.
start to be more sociable
start to like parties (okok, some people really don't like parties, but you're cutting out a huge % of chance)
learn those skills. have a good base. then branch off and pick your specialization. like a fuckin RPG game.
maybe you're really good at being social, you can use parties and use your multiple circle of friends to gain more friends and acquaintances.
maybe you find out you're really confident, then do cold pickups.
fuck maybe you can train ALL of those skills, then you have maximum exposure to meeting people.
ya get what i mean?
don't work with what you got, cuz obviously you got nothing, and it aint working.
it's like getting a job. you can apply all you want, but if you don't have the skills, or experience, you wont even get that interview.
so you get the skills and experience.
then you find out you suck at interviews.
so you work on the interview.
you work your way up.
break it down into a science. something that makes sense, and work from there.
oh i forgot something, the best thing is to work on yourself (ontop of those things), you can be confident, you can be sociable, you can be a funny guy. but in the end, if you got no money, no secure job, and nothing bright ahead of you, you'll only get girls, but you wont keep any of them.
if you're lookin for a keeper. work on yourself.
it sounds shallow but, having a cool job, or a job that pays a shit load, most definitely helps. people talk, girls will wanna hang out with you. girls will hit on you.
those things all help way more than being buff. of course being buff helps too, but only temporarily. girls can see through that shit once you hang enough.
Last edited by Ulic Qel-Droma; 01-11-2012 at 02:12 PM.
agreed with ulic great analogy with the tree. you need a strong foundation before you can reach the leaves and eventually the fruit that they bear
__________________
Quote:
[23-07, 02:03] shawn79 i find that at vietnamese place they cut ur hair like they cut grass
[23-07, 02:03] shawn79 do u go to vietnamese places for haircuts
as long as you are friendly and genuine, people/girls will gravitate towards you
and you say your 22? thats a great age. girls south of your age will love you
you have a great salary? they love a man of means. im not saying you need to be shitting out diamonds on the first date, but you can do things other guys are not in the position to do...that make dates not so boring
^Truth right there.
@OP, I'm pretty much a reflection of you. 22, high salary, gym regularly, not into hardcore partying/party girls, etc etc. But I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years now, (on and off, but that's another story.) I used to be a little shy, but now I can comfortably talk to anyone at any time. Random at a restaurant? Check. Earls waitress? Done that. Friends of friends? Easy.
Let's start with looks. This is the most obvious, but you work out regularly, so I'm going to assume you're not overweight and/or lazy. You're paid well, so you should have a nice wardrobe. Nice doesn't have to mean expensive. Check out RS's fashion forums, or check out some GQ for ideas. Girls like a guy who's clean, presentable, well dressed, and comfortable in who they are.
My biggest piece of advice for meeting "new" people.. Pick up some hobbies.
Take classes, join clubs, whatever. Excellent way of meeting people.
I'm lucky because I started my hobbies at a really young age. And now I'm an engineer by day, a writer for a literary agency, and a songwriter/producer for a few studios and record labels. So right away when I meet a girl and she asks what I do, I've already got her intrigued. And yup, I've met maaany people through these hobbies. Whether it's them, or their friends they bring when we go grab a bite, whatever. I'm taken, so I didn't move forward with any of the girls, but your goal is meeting people. If you can get to this point, the rest comes easy. Find a common interest with you and the target girl. Talk about what you can offer her regarding this interest. A BBM swap, Facebook add, and a coffee date later, you may have started something.
Most of all.. Be YOURSELF. Be real. Your honesty and authenticity will shine through more than anything. If you have no interest in music, don't take songwriting classes or guitar lessons. Join a volleyball team, or whatever you enjoy doing!
__________________ Studies show 100% of people die.. Might as well have some fun.
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