[Confidential] GF and my cell phone

[Graeme S]

Originally Posted by T.T

IMO, if you see a future with your man then there shouldn't be a problem.
I really don't see an issue with not getting your passcode for your phone from your bf assuming that after 1-2 years or however long you guys have been together, you realize he's keeper. If there's no future then it doesn't matter wtf you do. Makes me wonder why this is still an issue for the OP seeing as they've been together for over 3 years...

I also don't understand this "one thing leads to another...." thing where you guys somehow think it's just gonna snowball into something big like sharing bank PINs and online banking passwords...

Maybe you guys have been dating irrational and crazy bitches but I don't see the connection. After you guys have been together for a while, there comes a point where you guys are quite involved in each other's lives and things like not having your boyfriend's cellphone password is so trivial (unless you have something to hide). It also means that you guys draw the line somewhere and obviously, for most people I would say, bank passwords are on a whole 'nother level and these aren't shared unless you guys are married or something.

Just wanted to flip this around; agree with the parts I didn't change, but relationships are a two way street. If she thinks he's a keeper, she wouldn't be so annoyed at this. Her doing this means she is now (perhaps for a reason) suspicious, or that she will never trust him in the long run unless she can essentially babysit him.

Trust works both ways, people!

[AzNightmare]

Depends how reasonable your gf is.
If she isn't crazy, it won't lead to the next thing just because of a cell pw.
I don't get where all these people are getting that idea from.

sometimes it's handy when my gf knows my pw,
So she can check my texts or whatever when i'm driving.

Girls are just like that. They want to feel that you trust them
And you draw the line at this.
She doesn't have data so she wants to use your phone.

She won't want your PIN, cause it has no logical benefits.

Don't have to blow things out of proportion.
Posted via RS Mobile

[PJ]

Originally Posted by Graeme S

I have a password on my phone. I also have nothing to hide. I don't give it out to people. I'll let people borrow my phone to do stuff, but it's a very rare case where my phone is actually out of my sight.

I won't give out the password to my girl. Why? Because I'm hiding something? No. Because I don't want to have this expectation of complete openness. There are some things I don't want to talk about. Some things I want to keep to myself. Some things my friends expect me to keep confidential.

Accidental pregnancies? Looking for a new job while not telling the old one? Possibly messing around on the side and looking for advice?

My girlfriend doesn't need to know which of my friends may or may not be doing those things and what advice I am giving to them (which may jade her attitude towards me, despite me not doing anything with/to her).

Privacy is not a new idea. Keep it.

+1
QFT.

[missChloe]

what an inconsequential thing to be a problem over.

If this is the biggest issue of your relationship then you probably have it pretty good.

I understand the whole privacy thing, but if you unlock and let her use it anyway, what's the difference from telling her the code?

[Simplicity]

^The difference is that his privacy would be gone since the point was to keep the pin code private.
It's like asking why she makes a fuss even though he unlocks it for her whenever she asks.
Posted via RS Mobile

[AzNightmare]

^ Just the simple display of mutual trust.

Now I guess this will vary from couple to couple.
My gf knows my phone pw and I know hers. It's not a big deal, there's nothing to hide.
And even with the fact that we know each other's pw, we never actually use each other's phones.
The principle of trust is there, while we don't step over any boundaries.
And never once, did we make it a discussion to try to obtain each other's PIN or any
bank related info.

So contrary to belief (from some posters in this thread),
revealing phone pw's don't start a whole chain of disastrous events.

[Graeme S]

Originally Posted by AzNightmare

^ Just the simple display of mutual trust.

Originally Posted by Merriam-Webster Online

1
a : directed by each toward the other or the others <mutual affection>
b : having the same feelings one for the other <they had long been mutual enemies>
c : shared in common <enjoying their mutual hobby>

I don't disagree, but mutual means she should trust him to not need to look through his texts (which he saw her doing before)

revealing phone pw's don't start a whole chain of disastrous events.

I don't disagree, and everyone's personal spaces are different...but no thanks. Still gonna keep my phone locked.

[6793026]

yup i agree. just cause i think she's a keeper, doesn't mean i can budge on some personal / important issues.

eg// i would never tell my gf how much money i have in my account, my pin number etc.

[Psykopathik]

Originally Posted by 6793026

...eg// i would never tell my gf how much money i have in my account, my pin number etc.

THIS.

also never open a joint bank account.

if you MUST, keep the bulk of your $ in a seperate account.

I have a wife and kid, but if shit goes sideways someday, at least I'll have $ to move on.

[alwayslive]

I kinda have the same issue but I just get really paranoid when my gf reads my texts or goes through my phone just in case she finds something she finds sketchy cause she doesnt trust me. but I would say just tell her the code, its eventually going to be a huge problem

[FerrariEnzo]

isnt there apps that can hide stuff..

BTW, SOs do get anal about it... the more you say no the worse it gets... either tell it to her or say and break it off with her..

[Psykopathik]

Originally Posted by Culture_Vulture

the man has a point
once you open yourself to the "let's-share-absolutely-everything" status in a relationship, often times there's no going back

then it moves onto having a conversation with you in the bathroom with the door open as you shit.

[Phil@rise]

If its such a problem to her I wouldnt let her use the phone anymore. Problem solved. Its your phone and you want security and privacy in with it and you deserve that. You let her poke around it after you unlock it and that should be enough.
Life in a relationship is all about boundries respect and compromise. She should respect your boundries and be happy with your compromise.

[mk1freak]

One thing I learned is to never use a personal phone to mack LGs with.someone needs to take OP under their wing and teach him the ways...unfortunately I've been out of the game for so long I'm getting rusty
Sweetie I love you if you are reading this on my phone

[PJ]

Doesn't matter who you're talking to on the other side. Girls, guys, family, that's not the point.

When you're texting someone, that conversation is between you and the other person. If there's something you want to show or talk about with your SO, or anyone for that matter, that should be under your discretion only. Your SO shouldn't be able to barge in and look at whatever he/she wants, and whenever he/she wants.

It makes sense to have a password, so you let your SO look at your phone under your supervision only. That way they're not snooping when you're sleeping, in the shower, etc.

Different relationships will have different boundaries. But relationships with zero boundaries are not healthy.
Some people are more open, others are less.

[rsx]

You should've mentioned in the original post that you caught her snooping through your messages, that's a big no-no.

My ex-gf was privy to my computer and phone all the time, until I caught her browsing through my Outlook. Privilege lost.

[ek_noob]

i understand that a man needs his privacy but if u got nothing to hide and it matters to u how ur lady feels, just be the bigger man and give it up.

she wont be mad, shell appreciate it more, and u wont be annoyed

but as far as ppl u dont give much of a fuck abt, they dont deserve ur passcode lol