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Vancouver Off-Topic / Current EventsThe off-topic forum for Vancouver, funnies, non-auto centered discussions, WORK SAFE. While the rules are more relaxed here, there are still rules. Please refer to sticky thread in this forum.
The messed up dream that I had recently was like a Hangover movie sequel. My buddy and I are on holidays in the Ukraine as part of our bucket list.
We go to a local bar to hang out with our hot Russian blondes' tour guides. Flirting and conversation over vodka with the ladies made it a fun dream in the beginning.
Then three huge Russian dudes decide to harass the Russian blondes and calls me and buddy "chinks". Even though I do not any martial arts, I do my Donnie Yen imitation and kick their asses. However, one of the Russian dudes knocks out my buddy with a beer bottle. I kick the last Russian dude standing and knock him out.
One of the Russian blondes goes nuts and pulls out an axe from her fur coat and starts hacking one of the Russian guy's arms into pieces. Blood is everywhere.
Then I fall asleep at the end of the fight after too much vodka.
I wake up the next morning with the two Russian hotties in bed with me. All of us are naked. Used condoms everywhere. Perhaps a great threesome after the fight? They smile when they see me wake up.
I find this tattoo of a Russian bear on my left shoulder. One of the blondes looks very worried. My buddy is missing. He was nowhere to be found after the bar fight.
Then the Ukraine police knock on my hotel room door. I am wanted for questioning in regards to my friends' disappearance. One of the blondes filed a missing person's case with the cops.
The most vivid dream I've ever had was quite a few years back but I can still remember it, I usually forget all my other dreams by the time I roll out of bed
Anyways speaking of messed up dreams...
So I was sitting at home reading the newspaper when this ad caught my eye, they were looking for physically strong, fit and active applicants to live in a huge castle and write a review to see if it would be the next super-arena sports theme park (yeah weird). It is situated on some remote island. Flight and all expenses covered by the company. Also a huge paycheque after the 1 week trial.
Apparently I wasn't the only one that saw the ad because when I got off the plane and got to the gate of the castle walls there was a mile long line-up. It was starting to look sketchy because the "staff" attendants working there were all wearing masks and long robes, didn't talk much and when they did they all sounded like Darth Vader. The castle itself looked pimped out and there were some hot babes in the line-up so I stayed.
So we all eventually got into the castle, it was all fun and games for the first couple days... until they revealed there would be Competition games, guests against staff. We thought it was a cool idea. The staff took off their equipment to reveal that they are actually talking, walking PIGS!... like wild boars with tusks, all over 6 feet tall and very muscular ... (WTF moment right there lol) The first day of events was an obstacle course & jousting duels. What we did NOT know was that shit was gonna get real serious, real fast. The events were hardcore, as in tightrope walking over a pit of molten rock, cage fights to the death against a pack of lions, etc. So needless to say most of the guests were getting scared shitless. Everyone was crying and whining to leave the castle grounds but any attempt to escape were met with arrows to the knees by the wall guards.
We found out through the grapevine that this place was actually a "training ground" for the warpigs, who are preparing to launch a war campaign against the human race. (This is a dream so a lot of "Why" questions were never answered ... but apparently they fight with Medieval weapons only ... spears, pitchforks, bow & arrows, etc ... even though they have the technology of modern day to fly us over in a Boeing747) So they invited strong humans to come to the castle to fight against them, the weaker pigs will lose and die, the strong ones will survive until the day of the war.
Then on day 7 of the "trial" ... they held true to their word and told us we may all leave. IF we can survive run down the hill towards the river bank because they said they claim they can't swim with hooves for feet so they will not follow us in.
So on that afternoon all the remaining humans gathered at the top of the bank with the pigs lining up midway down the hill with maces and all sorts of melee weapons in hand.
On the count of 3 we all zerg rushed down the hill attempting to overwhelm the pigs by sheer momentum and numbers, but we were getting clubbed and cut down by the masses. Only a few paltry dozen survived past the line of slaughter and made to the river edge. We were so happy!
We waded into the river and true to their word, the pigs stopped following us into the water... but instead they started laughing, a deep evil laughter... we were all puzzled ... then I started to hear someone scream and one of the humans were pulled under the water! One by one they were falling in, ending up in pools of blood! There were some sort of maneating fish monsters in the water!!... but we couldn't go back to shore or we would get crushed by the warpigs!... so we did the only other thing we could think of, everyone started swimming like mad towards the other side of the river bank! ... then in the middle of the river there was a bunch of barbwires!... a bunch more got caught in the wires ... only 3 of us survived to the other side! We ran towards the castle gates, at the gates there were 2 more guards but they weren't aware of our presence. We scaled the wall from the inside, and jumped down on top of them, one of us got speared by the other guard but we took them down. Only 2 of us left, we saw a Limousine (another wtf moment) drive up to the gate and some random dude driving it told us to get in, so we did!... then we were ripping it down some random highway in the middle of a desert?!... and ... umm ... I think I woke up at that point ... LOL!
awesome story lol i feel like it has potential to be a movie.. or is there one thats already like this?
I was at a shoppers drug mart looking in the condom section and decided to buy one and I have no clue what it looks like.
Walk to the counter and it was an african american, he told me I can close off a part of the section and try it or something. I said no thank you and resumed back at the asle looking at a blank shelf.
I woke up this morning from the sound of my own laughter. Is that weird?
.. thats kinda freaky
most fucked up thing ever this morning, sleep paralysis or some shit. in my dream i was walking down an alley way at night time with this person holding her hand, walked up some stairs and the room we went into looked like my room. i layed down, and she sat on my legs. when i woke up my legs were numb.
dope i used to be able to do this because i got sick of having the same reoccurring nightmare when i was a kid, but not anymore
any helpful guide/tips to on getting started =]
yeah it's easy... start with a dream log
everyday write your dreams down, asap. if you have time do it immediately when u wake up or realised you dream.
u can write down notes if you're time constrained and come back later
but the important thing is to write them down when you remember, cuz if you dont... you'll probably forget lol
as you do this, your dream recall will strengthen and most nights you'll be able to remember multiple dreams.
it helps to track backwards, sometimes you'll remember dreams or scenes from earlier.
after you master recall, which could take a long time (and the skill disappears really quickly if you stop practicing), you can start to practice lucidity... realising you're in a dream.
there's tons of techniques for that. most require you to train yourself to have a new habit of checking watches twice, or just being aware you're dreaming. or being aware of strange things. this is very hard. but that's a whole nother topic.
then after gaining lucidity, you can start practicing how to use dream powers. such as flying, or using "the force"... or whatever else you can think of. creating things out of thin air. etc
best part was to jump off tall buildings to wake up and remember instantly shit i was doing in the dream lols
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jasonturbo
Too bad it isn't about flipping cars to lose money, I'm really good at that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SkunkWorks
This wouldn't happen if you didn't drive a peasant car like an Audi...
Quote:
[14-05, 14:59] FastAnna You tiny bra wearing, gigantic son of a bitch
[15-05, 10:35] FastAnna Yeah I was dreaming of those big titties in that tiny bra
I've been getting sleep paralysis occasionally for many years now. But then since November of 2010 while I was in Japan, I've been having a similar experience as you although not as bad.
For me it would feel as if there's someone holding me down and grasping my wrist, neck, leg or waist so hard that it is painful. I would always try to struggle in attempt to wake myself up but the harder I try, the harder the grasp will be and the more painful. Once I'm awake though, I'm fine other then having the feeling something is watching me.
This has happened to me maybe 3-4 times since the first.
Just happened to me again. Can't go back to sleep. This time I could feel it kicking my stomach so I held out my "arm" to try to keep some distance.
Woke up sweating. Normally I would just go back to sleep again right after but then I though about this thread and Mr.chin's post.
Before I fell asleep and this happened, I could sort of sensed it coming.
I usually dream about killing someone who is trying to kill me. But its like I can't kill them. Stabbing doesn't work. And then if I run, I can't run. Like I "forgot" how to run, lol. Posted via RS Mobile
Wow shit.. this thread is in awful need of some cheering up.
So the other day I had this dream where I was at some ice skating social event thing. It just started so the rink was pretty empty at the time.
There was this cute white chick sorta skating around all shaky - she was obviously new at this - really cute actually, hair kinda short which usually isn't my thing but somehow it was working for her.
So she's skating around at the empty far end of the rink, and she suddenly falls down. I skate over immediately to help, and I don't know exactly how this happened but dream-me decided the best way to help would be to give her a light tap in the skate.
Except that's not what happened. I skated up to her as fast as I could, but instead of giving her a light tap, I slammed into her at max speed - *BOOM*.. shot her right across the rink and into a wall. Heard a light crunch in the distance.
But that's ok. Because after I fled the scene like a BOSS, she came and found me after. And somehow we ended up chilling out by the side of the rink..... in a tent. Lying down next to each other just chatting.
And we got to talking about her car (white civic EP3), and how she wanted to modify her car with Mugen and Spoon parts. For the next week every day we would hang out just like that. She kept bringing up this guy Joe and how he said she should get this body kit and these rims and I just kept ending up disagreeing with everything this idiot ricer had told her.
Anyway it was a lot of fun talking cars with her all week, but on the last day of that week (at this point it felt like I was going to wake up soon), we were just kinda quiet and I think we were talking about coilovers, and she asked me a question. As I was answering her, all of a sudden she rolled over on top of me and said "I love you."
I froze. And all I could think was, "I love you too". I struggled to say something, anything. But just then.....
I dreamed my Wife was a demon/zombie and was tryin to eat my brains, but since it was my wife i couldnt blow her head of or KO her, so I shoved her away really hard.
Our bed is against a wall and well, she sleeps on the inside and i shoved her into the wall. Note I'm 6'2" 180 lbs, she's like 5'4"
I was woken by her yelling "WHAT THE HELL!!???"
After I told her my dream she couldn't stay mad and kept laughing at me all day
Twice I had dreams of running away from something and then I would lose my breath. Then it starts to get really hard to breathe and I wake up.
Very creepy.
You know what else is creepier than sleep paralysis?
Waking up in the middle of the night completely wide awake as if you just closed your eyes and opened them a second late. It happens to me occasionally and absolutely creeps me the fuck out. There's no tiredness, no grogginess, nothing.
^^ That happens to me somtimes , its nice when u wake up early for work like that though lol
my favorite is when i wake up from alarm clock super early in the morning and press snooze, fall back asleep instantly and dream for 1+ hr it feels like but its only been 2 mins in reality time, press snooze and do it again and again multiple times.
Somtimes i have dreams where it feels like im in the dream for over a week and i actually start to beilive its reality, and when i wakeup i get confused as shit.. weird as hell, that and once i recall many years ago i had a dream where i woke up into another dream 3 damn times and it slowly turned into a nightmare LOL
But the all time shittiest moment of dreaming is where you have a shitload of money or somthing awesome , then realize your waking up and try to put it in your pockets or hold onto it and wakeup.. and say, SHIT! lol
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93 CDN Mazda RX7
02 RSX Type S 6spd
82 CDN Mazda RX7 scca track car
68 Plymouth Barracuda
03 Custom Chopper
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