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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 03-28-2012, 11:12 PM   #1
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[Confidential] Cant get any women

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A little background on me, I'm a 20 year old university student and mentally Im a virgin. What I mean by that is that I have had sex about 20-25 times but every time it was with an escort I paid anywhere from $120 to $250 for. Im really tired of this and cant do it anymore. It all started when my gf broke up with me about 2 years ago (we never had sex and we went out for months) and after that I started going on sketchy foreveralone forums and it just went down from there. Then I started seeing escorts. I dont have any troubles talking to women, I just dont have the charm to ever get them in bed. My commute is about 1.5 hours each way to school so its harder to find anyone because I dont live on residence.


Im not sure what to do, i've tried clubbing, bars, girls in my classes but i cant get anything. IT sounds like I dont have confidence but In reality I do and can make girls laugh pretty often.


I guess I just need advice on how to get more game, i even opened up a POF account and probably sent over 1000 messages and never got any responses or got rejected a few replies later. I've even thought about getting chem. castrated so I wouldn't have to think about women and just focus on school and work, and lately its becoming a good possibility.


Any help is appreciated


Thanks

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Old 03-28-2012, 11:17 PM   #2
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Old 03-28-2012, 11:19 PM   #3
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My commute is about 1.5 hours each way to school so its harder to find anyone because I dont live on residence.
Quote:
i even opened up a POF account and probably sent over 1000 messages

Quote:
I dont have any troubles talking to women, I just dont have the charm to ever get them in bed
Quote:
I've even thought about getting chem. castrated so I wouldn't have to think about women and just focus on school and work, and lately its becoming a good possibility.


First, you sound like a little bitch making excuses, you don't need to live in res to date.

Second, if all you're trying to do is get girls to bed, of course you can't get any. Girls don't find being the equivalent of a free hooker appealing!

Third, you think spamming messages to girls on a site NOTORIOUS for people looking for quick fucks is an effective dating strategy?

Fourth, CHEMICALLY FUCKING CASTRATED, so you can focus on school and work?!

Rather than spending time associating with real people who you could actually develop meaningful relationships, whether they include physical intimacy or not, you spend time on the internet and fucking hookers. Now, because you haven't had your dick in a pussy that wasn't paid for, you want to castrate yourself. You don't need to get more game, you need a fucking reality check.

Close your POF account. Close your accounts on whatever forums you're isolating yourself from society on. Go out and meet real people. Join a club to make more friends, ask someone in one of your classes if they're interested in studying together or grabbing a coffee. If you're as charming as you portray yourself as and you have the ability to make girls laugh, people will be interested in forming friendships with you and given time you will find a girl interested in a relationship with you. Don't fuck it up by trying to make sex an urgent priority and eventually it will lead to the bedroom.

Last edited by MindBomber; 03-29-2012 at 01:16 AM.
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Old 03-28-2012, 11:23 PM   #4
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Lol go clubbing and partying with friends. Mixed group of guys and girls. Get them to intro you to their friends. Get their number and try to make things click from there of you say you have charm. then step it up and do it to strangers, if things don't work out or you don't like them then move on. Just need to get the ball rolling and things get easier and you learn to let go easier. Thats pretty much all there to partying besides to have fun and that's what ive been doing and works great for me.. As for dating sites,

Good luck...?
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Old 03-28-2012, 11:27 PM   #5
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Don't stress about it. Just be alpha. It will come.
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Old 03-28-2012, 11:30 PM   #6
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A little background on me, I'm a 20 year old university student and mentally Im a virgin. What I mean by that is that I have had sex about 20-25 times but every time it was with an escort I paid anywhere from $120 to $250 for. Im really tired of this and cant do it anymore. It all started when my gf broke up with me about 2 years ago (we never had sex and we went out for months) and after that I started going on sketchy foreveralone forums and it just went down from there. Then I started seeing escorts. I dont have any troubles talking to women, I just dont have the charm to ever get them in bed. My commute is about 1.5 hours each way to school so its harder to find anyone because I dont live on residence.


Im not sure what to do, i've tried clubbing, bars, girls in my classes but i cant get anything. IT sounds like I dont have confidence but In reality I do and can make girls laugh pretty often.


I guess I just need advice on how to get more game, i even opened up a POF account and probably sent over 1000 messages and never got any responses or got rejected a few replies later. I've even thought about getting chem. castrated so I wouldn't have to think about women and just focus on school and work, and lately its becoming a good possibility.


Any help is appreciated


Thanks
1. Get a job
2. Study smart, not hard
3. Join some clubs
4. Make some friends
5. Work out -> key. The idea is not get jacked and huge, the idea is to get fit.
6. Run, and get into the habit of running often.
7. Get off facebook, (and RS), anything social media, limit it.
8. At every opportunity to hang out with friends do it. Thats the best way to meet mutual people so you don't seem creepy.
9. Go shopping with a fashion friend that actually knows fashion and get them to pick you out a new warddrobe.
10. Get a haircut from a good stylist, gay guys actually make great haircuts.
12. Get into some cool hobbies that you are actually into. (No video games though)
13. Get contacts if you have glasses.
14. Ramp up your hygenie to tip top shape.
15. Move out if you haven't yet. If its not possible, then do it ASAP.
16. Read "No more Mr. Nice guy" http://www.nomoremrniceguy.com/
17. Thank my post. (optional)


Last edited by LiquidTurbo; 03-28-2012 at 11:35 PM.
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Old 03-28-2012, 11:38 PM   #7
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I feel that I need to question your confidence. If you're confident you wouldn't really have to post this. If you're confident you wouldn't resort to dating sites or escorts for sex. I'm not bashing on you nor am I judging you because who am I to judge?

I have to say that sure laughing does make a girl feel comfortable and it does boost your self-esteem, but in the end are you laying down some romantic or sexual signals? You can make a girl laugh all you want but it isn't going to put her in your bed at the end of the night. You need to make it more intimate. If you don't have charm then go get it. Skills are developed through trial and error.

Listen I know you're pretty horny or in drought according to the message you convey, but by doing these things you're being desperate. And no matter how confident you are women will still smell the stench of desperateness and it isn't attractive. And dude, you're totally in need of sex man take a step back and look at what you're even considering. I can't believe you even thought about taking away your mangravy. Get a grip son, go out meet a ton of women. I assure you that if you start making romatic and sexual suggestions, one day you will score. But at the same time you're gonna get a lot of rejections.
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Old 03-29-2012, 01:05 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LiquidTurbo View Post
1. Get a job
2. Study smart, not hard
3. Join some clubs
4. Make some friends
5. Work out -> key. The idea is not get jacked and huge, the idea is to get fit.
6. Run, and get into the habit of running often.
7. Get off facebook, (and RS), anything social media, limit it.
8. At every opportunity to hang out with friends do it. Thats the best way to meet mutual people so you don't seem creepy.
9. Go shopping with a fashion friend that actually knows fashion and get them to pick you out a new warddrobe.
10. Get a haircut from a good stylist, gay guys actually make great haircuts.
12. Get into some cool hobbies that you are actually into. (No video games though)
13. Get contacts if you have glasses.
14. Ramp up your hygenie to tip top shape.
15. Move out if you haven't yet. If its not possible, then do it ASAP.
16. Read "No more Mr. Nice guy" No More Mr. Nice Guy
17. Thank my post. (optional)

hEY SOME GUYS ACTUALLY LOOK BETTER WITH GLASSES!!!!
I would say try some speed dating too coz even if the girls hate you they still have 5 mins talk to you. Also just get some semi formal clothes (A nice long seleeve, dark color jeans, a nice pair of semi formal leather shoes).
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Old 03-29-2012, 03:04 AM   #9
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OP sounds completely anti-social and it sounds to me like he's equating sex to social acceptance.

I would seriously consider seeing a therapist/psychologist to find out why. This isn't anything remotely close to normal behavior.

OP: Out of curiosity, why did your last GF break up with you?
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Old 03-29-2012, 05:55 AM   #10
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Old 03-29-2012, 07:17 AM   #11
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You are looking for the wrong girls dude.

First of all stop looking for easy sex.
Second of all, get a hobby, one that involves group activities that you genuinely enjoy.
Date girls involved in the shit you like.
Practice talking to people by talking to strangers on the bus (use that long ass commute of yours to your advantage). Especially girls but really and seriously any one will do. Being able to approach people you don't know in a way that's not off putting is a seriously important and under valued skill that it sounds like you need to learn.

If you just want sex keep paying your hookers.
If you actually want a girl friend you gotta get off your ass and try and acknowledge that your investment is going to be time, rejection and self work.

Lastly, get the fuck over yourself. I second the therapist suggestion. If you're so obsessed with getting laid that it's an issue you seriously have to address. Use your god damn hand, rub one out and then go deal with the rest of your life.
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Last edited by TheNewGirl; 03-29-2012 at 07:22 AM.
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Old 03-29-2012, 07:36 AM   #12
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hmm do you feel like you have a sex addiction? Why would you even consider chemical castration unless it is the only way of which to not fixate on sex?
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Old 03-29-2012, 07:49 AM   #13
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You go clubbing and still can't take girls home?...

This could also be a standards problem. One of my friends has/had this problem. We wasn't a bad looking guy at all, but he was going for girls that were 10's when he was a 7.5/8. He also would not go for the "completely fucking drunk yet DTF girl" because of these standards.

Something is wrong and your not telling the whole story. To me, making a girl laugh is always a + and will always make your chances better. Yet you can make them laugh and you get nothing? Friendzoned or you just saying something creepy after you make them laugh?


P.S. Do not go up to women and just ask if they're down for sex.. it doesn't work.
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Old 03-29-2012, 09:25 AM   #14
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wow dude. calm the fuck down and stop fucking escorts.

question: do you actually want a girlfriend to have a relationship with...or do you want a girl friend to fuck?

your post REEKS of desperation...and us chicks, do NOT like desperation. Anyone who sends out 1000 POF messages does not appear to be seriously looking for a relationship. You say you don't have trouble talk to women...but do they have a problem with you talking to them? what is their body language? how do they verbally respond? do you have female friends (and only friends)? Do girls talk to YOU?

Like I said...figure out what you want. 1- a chick DTF, or 2- a gf. If you want DTF....act like a player...be all cocky and shit (i think most of the RS dudes can help u with that). If you want a gf....act like YOURSELF! Don't be creepy....don't try to take a DTF and turn her into a girlfriend....dont send out 1000s of message hoping ANYONE responds...be picky...show some class and have some fucking standards.

Just relax...it will happen....don't be so focused on it b/c it maybe border on obsessive.

Oh...one last piece of advice. When do you finally get a gf...and you are lying in bed having "the talk" about past relationship and sex....FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, do NOT tell her have spent thousands fucking hookers. Also, stop it. Now. That shit is sick. You are 20 yo, not a horny 60 yo man. Use your hand or if need be, a blow-up doll. And, by fucking hookers...you are ruining it for yourself...the first time with a new gf will not be the same. They are professionals for a reason.
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Old 03-29-2012, 09:42 AM   #15
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Tough love time.

I can smell your desperation from here. Women, who actually have an active interest in sensing desperation can catch the whiff a mile away.

You need to, today, stop trying to get your 20 year old ass laid.

Instead, you need to start working to get your 22 year old ass laid.

Let's get the basics out of the way here. This ain't a make-over question, "what can i do to make myself more appealing to women?" I'm sure there are things you can do to make yourself more attractive, but we need to solve some base items here.

You sir, have an addiction. I don't know you, so everything here on in is an educated guess.

I think you are addicted to sex. If you approach women with the #1 goal of them being there to fuck, that's a problem. You are now used to the transaction of sex, and treat this system like a way to save $200 when you get laid.

Even the sluttiest of women need to be a little wined and dined man!

You need to start getting your mind around the idea that you may have a problem here that you can't solve alone. Dousing yourself in Axe is NOT going to solve the issue that you don't respect yourself, or women.

Going on. I'm going to say this, and I don't mean it in the insulting way, but you are a loser. If you have sent out 1000 messages on POF, and not had ONE SINGLE REPLY-then you are doing something wrong. I used to troll a bit on POF and its not that hard.

Sample dialogue: "Hi, I'm Gridlock! Did it hurt?"

Lady, "did what hurt?"

"Oh! when you fell from heaven. Man, I can't believe women still fall for that! But you did. That means you like cheezy jokes, and I'm full of them..."

Then just continue on.

That's just one thing, but if you want people's help here, you need to be honest with us.

Why are you a loser?

What are 1000 women online, and 100's in class and bars and restaurants and working at the grocery store seeing that YOU aren't?

Be honest...Are you:

fat?
ugly?
dress poorly?
poor personal hygiene?
broke?
no confidence?

I'm going to assume you were bullied in school.

Here's the deal though. You can change it.

I can name tons of people that go through life as a loser and do nothing to change it. They end up drinking and alone, thinking, fuck, if only I had done something when I was 20.

Sorry to be harsh, but be honest so we can help.
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Old 03-29-2012, 10:04 AM   #16
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Tough love time.

I can smell your desperation from here. Women, who actually have an active interest in sensing desperation can catch the whiff a mile away.

You need to, today, stop trying to get your 20 year old ass laid.

Instead, you need to start working to get your 22 year old ass laid.
THIS is key.
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Old 03-29-2012, 10:21 AM   #17
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Im not sure what to do, i've tried clubbing, bars, girls in my classes but i cant get anything. IT sounds like I dont have confidence but In reality I do and can make girls laugh pretty often.
Here's how it goes:

Him:
"Hi!Here's a funny joke."
Her

Him:
"That WAS funny. Wanna fuck?"

Her

Him:

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Old 03-29-2012, 10:23 AM   #18
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As shallow as it is, get some nice clothes, get your look sorted out, hit the gym and clean up your diet. There's a reason why these guys get the girls. Argue as much as you want, it's just how the world works.

Why do you think there's so many idiots out there with attractive girlfriends/boyfriends

Once you've cleaned up your look, get your work life in order to set yourself aside from the good looking morons.
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Old 03-29-2012, 10:39 AM   #19
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Looks be damned. Its your personality you need to work on.
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Old 03-29-2012, 10:48 AM   #20
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alright im going to go somewhere you might not like,

what race are you?

this matters because,

there are some unwritten rules.

if Asian guy:

you increase your chances of targeting reserved and conservatively raised asian females, they are raised to date only other asian men, and are submissive, hopefully sooner the better, before they realise there is other stuff out there, also if they are religious, and you are of the same religion, its almost guarantee'd to get in their pants.

if your asian and your targetting white chicks, especially being "mentally a virgin" you will NEVER get one. it takes massive game to get a white chick if your asian, and you dont have it, not yet.

if you want a persian/brown girl and your asian, you probably have less than 1% of getting one, its probably the rarest pair up, and i've never seen one personally. Dont bother with this one.


if your white:

your BEST odds are targeting Asian chicks who were born here, and are white washed. They ALL want white guys, and are the easiest to get because they dont require "money" or "status" very much until later years, and are just happy to land a white dude, your still young so this is your highest chance of getting one.

white chicks are possible if your white, but they feel like they have some sort of entitlement complex in vancouver, unless your really good looking, or are well off, or have some sort of status, you wont get one. White chicks feel they are better, thus they want better.

if your into brown/persian chicks, this is possible when white, but takes a lot of work and prep time, their families are even more strict on this than asian ones. You dont have a lot of experience, so I would avoid these ones for now, too much work for you to successfully get one, for now.


if your persian/brown

your highest chances are:

again, white washed asian chicks, they are open to the idea of it, and are just happy to get anything other than asian dudes.

or brown chicks, their families will approve of it, and thats major when it comes to them, and most of them only ever date other brown/persian guys, and never stray from that idea.

white chicks are also open to brown/persian guys, but mostly rich ones unfortunatly.
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Old 03-29-2012, 10:58 AM   #21
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^

where the fuck do you guys get this shit from and what girls do you hang out with?!
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Old 03-29-2012, 11:08 AM   #22
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I fail because a) those are some large assumptions, and b) this is so not a matter of what type of women he's "targetting".

Sorry, yes it is. THE WOMEN HE'S TARGETING ARE FUCKING HOOKERS!

He lost his virginity to a hooker. He went on to screw 25 more.

Guys: all that are here. This isn't a clothes issue. This isn't a money, looks, confidence or anything issue...YET. All of those things are icing on a cake of fucked up issues that he'll eventually need to address.

BUT FIRST...EVERYONE SAY IT WITH ME NOW...

HE
FUCKS
PROSTITUTES!

He has done NOTHING but fuck hookers. How do you resolve, in your head that I no longer get to call up a hot woman, give her money and have her play whatever game I want her to play, and always win. Why? Because you pay her to let you win. Want to be hard to get? Sure. Want to be rough tonight? Sure. Hey, I've got an extra 50...I'm gonna stick it in your ass. Make it 75 honey.

NOTHING about that translates to a healthy, normal relationship. Nothing.

So he needs to get past the whole hooker ADDICTION first. Then get over whatever happened to get him there in the fisrt place next. Then the sex addiction. Then he can start working on meeting people. Then he can actually think about meeting a woman. Then he can sit her down and say, "yeah, you are my first amateur"

And be in the same boat. Because she'll leave.

None of this involves better clothes.

All of this involves therapy.
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Old 03-29-2012, 11:13 AM   #23
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This is only decent advice if you're seeking to become a pickup artist for the purposes of feeding your sexual addiction.

This doesn't sound like what the OP needs. What the OP needs is a real, healthy relationship with someone who he can interact like an adult with.

In that case, don't pick a "type" of girl.. pick a girl who you like.

Protip: Race doesn't matter. They all kiss the same.
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She taught me right from wrong and always told me to stay positive and help others no matter how small the deed - that helping others gives us meaning to carry on. The sun is out today and it's a new day. Life is good. I just needed a slap in the face.
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Old 03-29-2012, 11:16 AM   #24
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what the OP needs and wants are 2 different things.

he asked for help/advice on how to pickup a woman,

I gave it to him,

all of you are telling him he needs therapy, while that is definitly true, this guy is messed up, thats not what he asked for.
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Old 03-29-2012, 11:24 AM   #25
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what the OP needs and wants are 2 different things.

he asked for help/advice on how to pickup a woman,

I gave it to him,

all of you are telling him he needs therapy, while that is definitly true, this guy is messed up, thats not what he asked for.
Oh, I dig. And if he came in saying, "gee, I'm awkward around women and I'm a 20 year old virgin and can't really talk to women" then all the advice is good.

But he didn't.

He bought himself out of one problem and now has some issues as a result.

I read his post, and it comes across as: how do I get laid from people that are like hookers for free?

I think his main problem that brings him here is he can no longer afford $200 a fuck.

I'm not going to help him with that one. I'm going to be honest. I read this shit and I think in the back of my head, this is the guy that turns to rape.

Let's see what checks out on that: he has no respect for women(I don't give a shit what decisions the escorts have made to get there in their lives, he is enabling that by taking advantage of them) and if he can't get a response from 1000 fucking women online on a website that is basically "adult friend finder" then I'm not the only one that has come to the same conclusion. EVERY woman he interacts with backs me up.

So I have no interest in enabling this kid. I have EVERY interest in being a voice that says-you need help. Go get it. Today.
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