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Relationship & Gender DiscussionTHIS SPACE OPEN FOR ADVERTISEMENT. YOU SHOULD BE ADVERTISING HERE! The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...
Willing to stick a finger in a guys butt for the sake of science
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: The Hood
Posts: 357
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friends, i expect to pay my own. since ive been in school, they don't let me pay and instead request things like cupcakes and liquor next time. they know when i have flow, i'm always down to drop it when we go out.
dating, i also expect to pay my own. i always offer and i'm hesitant to put my wallet away. guys can pay but i'll want to pick it up next time. i don't go on too many casual dates so my lines on whether we're hanging out as friends or going on a date are really fuzzy. i usually don't realize that i've been on a date until after the fact when my friends are going ".....so you went on a date then."
relationships, still expect to pay my own. however, i like to buy presents..doesn't matter if there's a holiday or not. if you've been driving, paying for gas, and food, etc. and waving me away when i offer then i'll buy you something that you've mentioned to me previously that you would like or need as my form of gratitude.. car stuff, tools, new belt/wallet/shoes, etc.
pretty much in either instance, you can pay for me but i will reciprocate. i'm pretty sneaky so i'll find ways to pay first
Back in my dating days, I'd offer to pay but would let the guy pay when he says "No I got this" on a first date..and usually 2nd date.
It's not that I can't afford it or that I "expect him to pay" but majority of guys want to be the man and show to the girl early on he doesn't mind spending the money and time on her.
After the first few dates are out of the way and things are much more comfortable and less nerve wrecking...I'll pick up the bill and show him that I appreciate, and don't mind spending the time and money on HIM. Relationships are a 2 way street and you have to be able to have a good balance between the both of you whether it's paying for dinners/dates, compromising etc etc
Of course, this is just what I've gathered over the many years of dating. This might be different for others.
this is what me and my SO have been doing going on 5 years now
I usually pay. But when the woman attempts to pull her purse out Ill be more than happy to take the bill. At least she showing effort she wants to pay. My last gf never made that effort. I picked her up every night paid for every meal/date. Only thing shes offered to pay for was the Grouse Grind ticket down, and it probably was because we finished it together at the same time. I hope this new girl im trying to date surprises me that shes not like my last selfish ex.
I paid about 90:10 so far and its been 6 months. After I transferred schools and stopped working and SHE started working, its about 60%:40% of the bill we split after I told her I don't have a lot of money going to school. She understood but as a man, it was really hard to tell your gf you have no money now because of school when once I could have paid the whole bill and stuff
Mr crayon took the leap, quit his job and is now going back to school full time. I know what you mean when you say it was hard for you to admit you have no money as this was an ego blow to him as well. I reassure him that it's really okay and this is an investment for himself and the future.
He feels bad that I have to pay most of the time whenever we go out or need something but I don't mind. Granted I have been very lucky and blessed to have found a job that I'm successful in (so it's been easier to make the ends meet) but really... if the girl really loves you and she feels this relationship is "long term" she isn't going to mind pulling the weight if her partner is down and recharging and vice versa.
For me, I see it as it's "our" money anyways so what is the difference if I pay or he pays? Granted I don't have as much disposable income anymore..but then again this was a blessing in disguise since I had to readjust how to use and spend my money wisely.
__________________ tiptronic: getting cut off by bicycles since 2007
will it ever backfire when the guy wants to pay and the girl also insists on paying? it's only our 3rd date and it's not yet official, so i still want to pay. this one is a keeper =)
when the girl pays for a nice meal, you bet that I'll make sure i'll cook her a few nice meals when we get home. I make sure i take care of her when she takes care of me.
she doesn't really get that concept yet but I alway pull my own and i expect to pull her own when it comes to it.
Atm, I'm paying for most of the expenses between my gf and I cuz I have a steady income while she works seasonally and pays for tuition. We've agreed to cutting back our expenses though cuz we want to start saving for future expenses.
Mr crayon took the leap, quit his job and is now going back to school full time. I know what you mean when you say it was hard for you to admit you have no money as this was an ego blow to him as well. I reassure him that it's really okay and this is an investment for himself and the future.
He feels bad that I have to pay most of the time whenever we go out or need something but I don't mind. Granted I have been very lucky and blessed to have found a job that I'm successful in (so it's been easier to make the ends meet) but really... if the girl really loves you and she feels this relationship is "long term" she isn't going to mind pulling the weight if her partner is down and recharging and vice versa.
For me, I see it as it's "our" money anyways so what is the difference if I pay or he pays? Granted I don't have as much disposable income anymore..but then again this was a blessing in disguise since I had to readjust how to use and spend my money wisely.
It was quite an ego blow to me as well. I tried to tell her straight up like: babe I actually don't have money anymore, but instead I edged it a little saying: babe, I keep paying for your meals cuz you're my piggy (circles like that). In the end, I just stood up and told her because obviously she didn't get the message clearly (well actually how could she unless I tell her LOL).
However this is a good test for your partner if he/she is after your money, even if it's not a lot, it's free meals!!! But yea I switched from college to university so even if I don't have money now, I will have a better chance at getting more when I finish.
It was quite an ego blow to me as well. I tried to tell her straight up like: babe I actually don't have money anymore, but instead I edged it a little saying: babe, I keep paying for your meals cuz you're my piggy (circles like that). In the end, I just stood up and told her because obviously she didn't get the message clearly (well actually how could she unless I tell her LOL).
However this is a good test for your partner if he/she is after your money, even if it's not a lot, it's free meals!!! But yea I switched from college to university so even if I don't have money now, I will have a better chance at getting more when I finish.
Pretty much same deal here, at first I felt bad trying to not pay because I have nothing to pay with. After maxing out my creditcard, I confessed how broke I was and she's paying and she told me she enjoys it. She's paying to roll my fenders now too
will it ever backfire when the guy wants to pay and the girl also insists on paying? it's only our 3rd date and it's not yet official, so i still want to pay. this one is a keeper =)
in ur situation but ill still be paying
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[08-12, 00:25] Iceman-19 the owner was someone i knew. trusted him. that blew up in my face like i was a 19 year old jap girl at a bukkake party.
What hasn't Killed me, has made me more tolerant of RS!
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: n
Posts: 198
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i'd always pay, but it'd be nice if they'd at least have the courtesy to pull out their wallet.. but even when they do i still pay for them
it just makes me respect them and put them on another bar than other girls that expect the guys to pay for everything.
it was always 90:10 for me. i feel cheap if the girl pays
would be nice to get treated once in a while
My guy hates it when I pay when we eat out and stuff. BUT I think a considerate girlfriend can still figure out ways to 'pay' without bludgeoning a guys ego. Like if we're going out to a movie and dinner I might pre buy the movie passes online so it's done and he can't argue and then let him get the check at the dinner, or when I'm going over there for a night in I often grab a bottle of wine or some take out on my way over.
THAT said, one thing I think guys should appreciate more is how much girls spend on looking nice for their men. If I drop a large sum of money on some really cute/hot underthings that I know he's going to like (and they are BLOODY expensive) I'm expecting he's going to get the next couple nights out.
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~ Just another noob looking for a clue
The way I see it, Boyfriends should pay(Its to makeup for the fact us not having to bleed once a month and the pain of childbirth). For friends its up to you, you spot her today, she spots you some other time etc...
The way I see it, Boyfriends should pay(Its to makeup for the fact us not having to bleed once a month and the pain of childbirth). For friends its up to you, you spot her today, she spots you some other time etc...
"Gender (m/f) m
Occupation
student
School
High School
Vehicle
N/A"
Just cuz a woman has her period doesn't entitle guys to pay 100% of the time. It really depends what kind on what kind of personalities you guys have..
The way I see it, Boyfriends should pay(Its to makeup for the fact us not having to bleed once a month and the pain of childbirth). For friends its up to you, you spot her today, she spots you some other time etc...
Quote:
Occupation student
School High School
Making your "boyfriend" pay because you were born a woman
I'd hate to know what else goes on in that mind of yours with that logic.
__________________ SHIFT_
"Harvey Belafonte ain't black. He's just a good looking white guy dipped in caramel. " - Archie Bunker
Everyone has jumped on the poor girl who's still in high school, but there's nothing inherently wrong with her perspective as long as she acts and behaves as a traditional lady should. If she stays home, raises the kids, and puts out whenever, I'm sure many guys here would have no problems with paying 99% of the time.
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tiptronic: getting cut off by bicycles since 2007
