[Confidential] Give him another second chance?

[Verdasco]

Originally Posted by GGnoRE

I had couple of female friends whos had bf's like that. Those insecure pussies who take it out on their gf's. In fact, I had to stop contacting those friends because of the faggot bf's. My friends made the stupid mistake of giving them second chances and it all went to hell in the end. You're better off meeting new people; I would say his is like the bottom 5% of all the males, so anyone else you meet after him will probably be way better than his sorry shit.

Sometimes it takes a bit of push to break away from an existing relationship (especially the ones that you are too used to), so this is my push.

just wondering why did he get warned he is just giving his opinion on his experience

edit: your ex seems like a real beta

refer to this dude from another forum, it might not be the same exact situation but this guy breaks up with her gf because "she is too good for him"

insecurities of a man who is too attached/rude/attached does not deserve a second chance, PERIOD. Coming from a potential girl/reference

Broke up with girl (most beta story you've ever heard)(cliffs)(srs) - Bodybuilding.com Forums

[Noir]

Originally Posted by TheNewGirl

No. No. No. No. No. you should not give him another chance.

Walk away and find someone who is secure enough to treat you with the respect you deserve.

Men and women who have this mind set either

1. have trust issues they need to deal with
2. are horribly insecure and have to work that shit out
3. they cheat/contemplate cheating and thus assume their partner must as well
4. use shame and anger to control you and keep you dependant on them for validation

You do not want to date ANY of these people.

No. No. No. No. No. How about the dude needs someone who he deserves. You know... like someone who treats him like he exists, or that someone that treats him more than just a convenient commodity... or someone that respects values of an exclusive relationship?

Why is it that the OP is the correct one and the guy is the "automatic" villain? Because it's her thread? How narrow are we as viewers?

Originally Posted by El Bastardo

The following is a confidential post. If the member would like to reply to any comments please PM me. Serious replies only

I`ve friendzoned him for most of our relationship and frankly, I was not that appreciative towards his existence but he still stuck around and would make time to hang out with me whenever I had time.


So throughout our first little while of dating, I've always put him second to my friends, and would make lame excuses to neglect him. Until I finally settled some stuff from my past, then I was ready to committ (or at least I thought I was). I felt bad for being a bad friend.

And BTW, sorry to act all God again on the populi of RS but majority of the sentiments about security/insecurity with respect to relationships are dead wrong around here.

First of all, insecurity isn't a flaw on a singular party within a relationship. It's a flaw OF the relationship. Insecurity only exists, not because party A or party B is a weak-minded, paranoid, simpleton. It exists because the relationship has some issues that needs addressed.

Is one party not feeling the "exclusivity" of company to the other?
Is one party in an environment that's hazardous to the relationship?

It's always easy to bash the subject of the thread, but can you flip the coin and view it on the other side? Had the BF made a post instead of the GF about her having been treating him like he's non existent or second-fiddle to her social life as if he were just some accessory for her.... you all would be echoing the same bias against the very same OP.

"Oh she doesn't deserve you... etc etc etc."


Think about that RS.



As for the OP, if all you're looking for is someone to echo what your thoughts and feelings are... well you have 95% RS. They will do that. But if you want to be objective and see what it looks like on the other side (or a side or angle you have not seen before), you don't have to listen to my words and treat them as correct. Just give them some consideration at the very least, and that's all it takes for you to be a "good" person and fair for the other side.

[TheNewGirl]

Originally Posted by Noir

No. No. No. No. No. How about the dude needs someone who he deserves. You know... like someone who treats him like he exists, or that someone that treats him more than just a convenient commodity... or someone that respects values of an exclusive relationship?

Why is it that the OP is the correct one and the guy is the "automatic" villain? Because it's her thread? How narrow are we as viewers?

First of all I said 'men and women' cause I know chicks who pull this shit all the time. Secondly if he was posting regarding some chick who ignored him all the time I would tell him to MOVE THE FUCK ON as well.

[Gridlock]

Originally Posted by Noir

No. No. No. No. No. <snip>.

I totally get what you are saying and agree with you.

I do think though, that a person can come in with their own insecurity that is independent of the other person in the relationship. They are just wired that way. A lot of things can cause it, mostly family issues, low self-esteem, whatever.

I find in this case a lot can be said for the way she treated him prior to the beginning of the relationship. There was a friendship there, and he was a third wheel to her life. The "we're together" relationship may have a specific start date, but the "whole" relationship started with the friendship. You can't just leave that at the door because now you are bumping uglies. So he's coming into the relationship with baggage from their own friendship.

Why suddenly is he expected to be part of this great relationship when he was a second choice in friendship?

I agree with noir that there is way more to this story than just an insecure boyfriend. And I disagree because I also don't think that one person has to be wrong for the other to be right. This isn't a victory. Sometimes people just don't click.

I would start asking some questions about whether there are indicators in the friendship period where he would feel that there are other guys or a reason to be jealous. If there honestly isn't, then maybe you don't click...he may just be that type but...

when you say this:

I`ve friendzoned him for most of our relationship and frankly, I was not that appreciative towards his existence but he still stuck around and would make time to hang out with me whenever I had time.

Finally, last summer, he went to work for a different company. And then I thought hmm, maybe I can give this a try, since people always say "you should always date your best friend" because you'd know each other so well and the relationship will last.

So throughout our first little while of dating, I've always put him second to my friends, and would make lame excuses to neglect him. Until I finally settled some stuff from my past, then I was ready to committ (or at least I thought I was). I felt bad for being a bad friend.

I kept him out of my life(your choice ps) not that appreciative to his existance(harsh words) finally start dating him and still neglect him and treat him with less respect to your friends until YOU settle some stuff and YOU are ready to commit until you finally felt bad and after all that...

He's a meanie.

Well no fucking way. I thought after that he'd worship the ground YOU walk on.

[doritos]

thats fucked up, no trust? no relationship. The dude is insecure like a guy and a girl i know. The guy is so insecure to the point even he constantly txts me and calls me even tho we are buddies, it gets fucking annoying. He does it more frequently than my own family or GF. And as of the girl, she is so insecure and jealous, she sneaks over to her BFs house some nights when he falls asleep or doesn't return her calls by accident, she spies on him through his window and listens to him sleep. They are so insecure to the point that if anyone does not reply to them, they will start to believe the friend is lying and is a fake friend. Trust me, you do not want to stick around these type of people. As for me, with my exs and current gf, I never get insecure about them having guy friends or chill with them, thats the type of relationship you need with a guy. Not someone who goes ape shit cause you talk to the opposite sex. This is the real world, we have to interact with others.