Originally Posted by TheNewGirl
No. No. No. No. No. you should not give him another chance.
Walk away and find someone who is secure enough to treat you with the respect you deserve.
Men and women who have this mind set either
1. have trust issues they need to deal with
2. are horribly insecure and have to work that shit out
3. they cheat/contemplate cheating and thus assume their partner must as well
4. use shame and anger to control you and keep you dependant on them for validation
You do not want to date ANY of these people.
No. No. No. No. No. How about the dude needs someone who he deserves. You know... like someone who treats him like he exists, or that someone that treats him more than just a convenient commodity... or someone that respects values of an exclusive relationship?
Why is it that the OP is the correct one and the guy is the "automatic" villain? Because it's her thread? How narrow are we as viewers?
Originally Posted by El Bastardo
The following is a confidential post. If the member would like to reply to any comments please PM me. Serious replies only
I`ve friendzoned him for most of our relationship and frankly, I was not that appreciative towards his existence but he still stuck around and would make time to hang out with me whenever I had time.
So throughout our first little while of dating, I've always put him second to my friends, and would make lame excuses to neglect him. Until I finally settled some stuff from my past, then I was ready to committ (or at least I thought I was). I felt bad for being a bad friend.
And BTW, sorry to act all God again on the populi of RS but majority of the sentiments about security/insecurity with respect to relationships are dead wrong around here.
First of all, insecurity isn't a flaw on a singular party within a relationship. It's a flaw OF the relationship. Insecurity only exists, not because party A or party B is a weak-minded, paranoid, simpleton. It exists because the relationship has some issues that needs addressed.
Is one party not feeling the "exclusivity" of company to the other?
Is one party in an environment that's hazardous to the relationship?
It's always easy to bash the subject of the thread, but can you flip the coin and view it on the other side? Had the BF made a post instead of the GF about her having been treating him like he's non existent or second-fiddle to her social life as if he were just some accessory for her.... you all would be echoing the same bias against the very same OP.
"Oh she doesn't deserve you... etc etc etc."
Think about that RS.
As for the OP, if all you're looking for is someone to echo what your thoughts and feelings are... well you have 95% RS. They will do that. But if you want to be objective and see what it looks like on the other side (or a side or angle you have not seen before), you don't have to listen to my words and treat them as correct. Just give them some consideration
at the very least, and that's all it takes for you to be a "good" person and fair for the other side.