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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 10-22-2013, 06:57 AM   #1
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[Confidential] How old is too old to be a virgin?

The following is a post from an anonymous Revscene member. Please keep your responses civil and appropriate


Im turning 24 and have yet to have sex. I have had sexual encounters which included handjobs and oral about 15-20 times since I turned 18 with different girls. But they were all escorts I found off local escorting websites and I paid them around $100 each. To make it short, Im just wondering how old is too old to be a virgin? I know the politically correct answer is that it's never too old but Im talking from a real world point of view. I have seen some videos of men in their 30s and 40s that are virgins and they dont seem normal at all. I always thought I was a pretty regular guy but I'm starting to think there is something wrong with me that girls dont like. By the way, Im done university and work a job where I'm the only one in the office so I dont really have any friends at the moment. Would you guys say I should pay for sex when i hit 26? or 30? Unfortunately im still living with my parents so I can save up a downpayment so I will probably be in my 30s until Im remotely attractive to any girl but Im pretty sure if I told a girl I am a virgin right now, she would not want to do anything.

Any help is appreciated

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Old 10-22-2013, 07:31 AM   #2
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What you need isn't sex, it's a relationship. Stop thinking you need to get laid by "x" cause that's going to make you start getting desperate. Just go with the flow, try to meet some girls and start a ACTUAL relationship other than trying to get inside them.

p's. Stop paying for sex and use that money to hit the gym or do other activities.
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Old 10-22-2013, 07:40 AM   #3
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Hmmm... If you're looking for just penetration, might as well start with a fleshlight or something. Its around 100$ and I feel personally less degrading than a hooker. Plus it can improve your stamina when you do finally get some.

As for being too old or whatnot, I think the issue stems from self-worth and esteem. If you're not comfortable and happy with yourself for whatever reason, it projects onto women and you give off the desperate, unhappy vibe.

You have to become comfortable being in your own skin, and for most of the time in your life you will be alone, which isn't really a bad thing, but while you're still in this situation you should try and slowly make changes that will improve your image/character in the long run.

Maybe try getting a new hairstyle, upgrading your wardrobe, then going to random social events, join a club, take on a new hobby, perhaps dancing, or pottery, or whatever. If you have a fear of rejection, the only way to overcome it is to give it your best shot, and if you get rejected, that shitty feeling that takes over you is what you actually need to turn you into a stronger person. If you learn a lesson from your mistakes, then it's all worth it in the end when you break out of your shell and into a more complete and healthy individual.

Last edited by SB7; 10-22-2013 at 07:41 AM. Reason: typo
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Old 10-22-2013, 07:48 AM   #4
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im 24 & will be turning 25 in feb next year, still a virgin & i work in china.now (aka i get a lot of.chances to pay for sex)

heck i never really had a gf till recently & im still living/doing fine, yes u will get made fun by a lot of ppl but hey its better then trying prove yourself to others by paying for sex & end up with some sexual disease right?

its not really important right now in life is it, if not then dont worry
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Old 10-22-2013, 07:58 AM   #5
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all those chances in highschool.. and if not in highschool, first year???

seriously though, I think you're too focused on getting laid. If that's what you want, start going out more. Use plenty of fish, go to local bars, meet some people. It's quite random but you're going to have to connect with someone. Maybe along the way you'll actually find someone you like and learn something new. Just don't go clubbing. Go to places you can actually have a conversation with someone.
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Old 10-22-2013, 08:05 AM   #6
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As daunting as it may seem to be older and be a virgin I wouldn't be to worried. Above posts are good starting points. Maybe lower your standard, and i don't mean start picking up unattractive women, but maybe open up your personality and maybe change your wardrobe to a more bright and inviting kind of look. Start with making some quality friends and you never know who they will introduce to you.
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Old 10-22-2013, 08:45 AM   #7
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Nofapchallenge. That is all you'll need now. The rest will come.
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Old 10-22-2013, 08:57 AM   #8
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if your asking then its prob too old.
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Old 10-22-2013, 09:18 AM   #9
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Sounds like you're living with a mindset that you NEED to have sex RIGHT NOW.

Just live your life and when it happens, it happens.

Lot's of people in the 50's (probably lower than you think, maybe 15%) used to wait until marriage and it didn't seem to hurt them (other than assumed divorces that followed).
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Old 10-22-2013, 09:22 AM   #10
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1. A female you get into a relationship with will have a bigger problem that you regularly visited a prostitute than the fact the you are a virgin.

2. There are more virgins out there than you think. You need to stop assuming this is a problem.

3. If girls don't like you, it is because you stink of desperation. Focus on having a relationship, not blowing your load in/on her.

4. Stop "saving" for a down payment and move out. You are 24 and should be starting your adult phase in life. We don't find owning a place attractive, we find living independent attractive. You should not be buying real estate in this market and for the foreseeable future anyways. Don't date a girl who judges attractiveness based on your networth.

5. Stop watching videos of 40 year olds losing their virginity....that shit is weird.

6. Start signing up for extracurricular activities....volleyball, dodgeball, canuck game watching parties, book clubs, collectors and enthusiasts, etc...whatever tickles your fancy. There is a group for everyone and these groups are welcoming...that is the point of them.

7. Sign up for a dating website....for DATING. Casual dating. Casual. Google it. Learn it. Be it. CASUAL DATING.

Finally...

8. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin at any adult age. Do not let what you perceive as social norms to beat yourself up. Stop hiring prostitute, limit you masturbation, and stop thinking about it. 24 is YOUNG. Trust me. Sex can be fantastic, but it is not this "life changing" experience that you have built up in your head.
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Old 10-22-2013, 09:24 AM   #11
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If you saw all those hookers, why didn't you just throw them an extra $40 and go all the way?
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Old 10-22-2013, 09:33 AM   #12
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Ask a friend to set you up on some blind dates if you don't feel confident in meeting girls yourself.

As others have mentioned, forget about sex altogether. If all you care about is losing your V card, you'll never get rid of it unless it's via hooker (or worse).
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Old 10-22-2013, 10:15 AM   #13
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I had a friend go the prostitute way... lets just say things didn't end well and he has regret it ever since

Don't do it OP.
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Old 10-22-2013, 10:33 AM   #14
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If you saw all those hookers, why didn't you just throw them an extra $40 and go all the way?
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this is a legitimate question.
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Old 10-22-2013, 10:35 AM   #15
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^^^^ this
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Old 10-22-2013, 10:41 AM   #16
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He wants to save his v-card for the real gfe lol
Which I think is the right choice
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Old 10-22-2013, 10:43 AM   #17
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btw your response reeks of innocent, retarded newbness.

the mortgage on your house you'll get when you're 30 doesn't make you attractive.

the "stuff" you own... cars, houses, money, whatever... are BONUSES on top.

like icing on the cake. no amount of icing is gonna make a cake good, if the cake fucking sucks.

right now the cake sucks. or at least you think so. or you sound so.

i have no idea what you look like, if you're handsome... then that's a big bonus that you can probably leverage.

if you're not. well, your mentality is totally off side so whatever.

getting laid takes work and effort. like school, or a job.

you have to do your homework, you have to go out and expose yourself A LOT.
you have to constantly and consistently TRY. it has to be a hobby, a passion.

you're just sitting around like when you reach some age, it will all fall into place. no.

it's a whole skillset that you have to go out and GAIN. some people it takes years, some people are naturals and it doesn't take that long to get a hang of it.

if you're not willing to put in more effort into the art of picking up chicks, than you do in your school/work... then you're never gonna get laid.

like i said, it's a skill, that takes a lot of going out and trying and failing.

rejection is success.
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Old 10-22-2013, 11:02 AM   #18
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4. Stop "saving" for a down payment and move out. You are 24 and should be starting your adult phase in life. We don't find owning a place attractive, we find living independent attractive. You should not be buying real estate in this market and for the foreseeable future anyways. Don't date a girl who judges attractiveness based on your networth.
Agree with most of what was said but this.

If he wants to save, let him. Your choice is not the choice of everyone.
Dependant on the woman he wants, maybe she will think that he is more stable being that he owns an apartment.
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Old 10-22-2013, 11:59 AM   #19
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Having your own place = girls coming on their own.

Girls in 20s still hasn't settled down yett, they don't care if you got a place or not.

Watch as you hit 30s. Women wants a guy that can hold his own shitt down.
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Old 10-22-2013, 12:13 PM   #20
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Yeah, I am telling you....a guy who is 25 living at home with "hopes" to buy something isn't attractive.

No girl wants to share the breakfast table with your dad in his robe, bro.
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Old 10-22-2013, 12:17 PM   #21
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"Can you keep it down? I don't want my mom to hear you climax"
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Old 10-22-2013, 01:02 PM   #22
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Yeah, I am telling you....a guy who is 25 living at home with "hopes" to buy something isn't attractive.

No girl wants to share the breakfast table with your dad in his robe, bro.
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"Can you keep it down? I don't want my mom to hear you climax"
Good to know you 2 told him NOT TO WORRY about having sex.. Yet you both just reference sleeping with the girl.

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[15-05, 13:34] FastAnna Incredible. How easy it is.
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Old 10-22-2013, 01:40 PM   #23
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Old 10-22-2013, 01:52 PM   #24
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Good to know you 2 told him NOT TO WORRY about having sex.. Yet you both just reference sleeping with the girl.

Ummm....reaching a little bit there, aren't you?
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Old 10-22-2013, 02:43 PM   #25
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"Can you keep it down? I don't want my mom to hear you climax"

Okay, okay, here's a thought for OP: go watch The 40 Year Old Virgin, but try to pay attention to the message rather than just the LOLs and Elizabeth Banks being all freaky

Dude's story sounds a lot like OP's here: desperate to lose it, buddies encouraging him to hook up with this one hot chick just to get it over with, but he's just not sure... I think some of the others have nailed it (pardon the pun), that maybe what OP needs to do is relax and find a RELATIONSHIP, somewhere he can BE relaxed when he finally does it, with some he feels comfortable being with.

Some people (men AND women) find the wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am easy and fulfilling... some don't. That was never my thing - I've only ever been into doing it with someone I wanted to spend time with. Nothing wrong with that. Doesn't mean you have to end up marrying the person either; it might work out long-term, it might not.

But like the hero of the movie, if it means more to you than just finding someone to blow a load in, then there's no reason to settle for that.
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