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Vancouver Off-Topic / Current EventsThe off-topic forum for Vancouver, funnies, non-auto centered discussions, WORK SAFE. While the rules are more relaxed here, there are still rules. Please refer to sticky thread in this forum.
And how did it turn out? Did you sign a co-habitation agreement or prenup?
I can say that its a prenub, but I dont want to say more as I have friends on this forum and I'd like to keep the details private. But its mostly about being honest and her in return. Its not just about taking care of yourself, its about the ability to take care of your family too. ie., parents when they get old or brother and sister when they need help.
And other experiences would be from other close family members. The devastation is real when it comes.
I think you'll see divorce rates decrease in the future because younger people are learning from the mistakes that their parents made. People hear stories all of the time about men losing their shirts - well, if the wife stayed at home for 10 years, of course the husband lost their shirt. Divorce has been no-fault for years, so the objective of the courts is to ensure both couples are roughly equal financially after marriage.
Marriage is an economic union as much as it's about love and companionship. Look at the people getting married these days - both spouses are typically educated and are high-earning professionals. You won't hear about people losing their shirts in divorces following these types of marriages because there's much more equality in terms of assets and status these days.
- don't marry just for looks/sex,
- similar earning potential and real smarts (tough to find these days, according to the keyboard warriors),
- on the same page financially with no debts
- a good person who's willing to grow with you over time.
Spoiler!
Quote:
Reflections on my cult-ural brainwashing, and what it cost me.
by Henry Makow Ph.D.
Lately I have been thinking about a great woman I knew when I was 24. I ignored Liz because I wasn't attracted to her sexually. She was average looking but there was no "chemistry."
She had many of the qualities in the left-hand column below, and she liked me. But my tastes and even my ideas had been formed by PLAYBOY.
I had been brainwashed by my cult-ure to believe that "sexual attraction" is 75%-90% of what male-female relationships are all about.
Marriages were based on sexual attraction. You had to live together before marriage to make sure you were "sexually compatible." Sex was the Holy Grail.
I was thinking about Liz lately, wondering what her life has been like.
I was thinking about her because I am almost 63 and now realize that sex is a relatively small part of a good marriage, say 20%
What if I knew this back then? I wouldn't have had three failed marriages by the age of 50, two largely based on sexual attraction.
I am happily married now but how different my life might have been. I might have had a family.
Men, Design your perfect "10"
You can choose 10 of the 20 qualities listed below. If you choose only from the right-hand column, you will get the woman in the picture above, but she will have none of the qualities in the left-hand column. Put another way, what are you willing to give up for sex appeal? Write and tell me your answer. Give your age.
Character (Honest, Fair) Sex Appeal
Personality (Cheerful & fun) Sex Appeal
Great Sense of Humor Sex Appeal
Intelligent and reasonable Sex Appeal
Skills & Talents Sex Appeal
Warm and loving Sex Appeal
Devoted & Loyal Sex Appeal
Common Beliefs & Interests Sex Appeal
Great conversation.
Incredible Cook & Homemaker
Good mother to your children. Sex Appeal
you're an idiot
if you, or your Gf or Bf is not mature enough to talk about a prenub then you have an even bigger problem and should not have moved in or marry in the first place
Nope, not an idiot at all, just earn so much that my partner knows she will never have to worry about money. As said, we already share everything , split between our names 50-50.
I guess I realize there's more to life than cheating out and nickel and diming, I'd rather take care of those I love, for better or worse. Plus after living together for years, I know I can trust her character.
And it's prenup, not prenub - this isn't an autocorrect, so u clearly don't even know what ur talking about
I guess I realize there's more to life than cheating out and nickel and diming, I'd rather take care of those I love, for better or worse. Plus after living together for years, I know I can trust her character.
This.
Sure, people change over time, but your values should remain the same. I think the mistake people make is that they don't find people with similar values. It's important to go into something like marriage with a dose of reality and your eyes wide open, but in the end, you have to trust the other person and that trust simply comes from your experience with that person removed from emotions.
lol what's with the guys without balls not knowing how to bring up a prenup
that shit should be brought up when you FIRST START DATING.
u just randomly bring the topic out and then u make a statement and u make sure it's solid and clear right from the beginning that she knows your stance on it.
THAT or you guys truly don't wear the pants.
i'd just be straight up. we're gonna get a prenup. and she's just going to nod her fucking head and say ok.
and if the reverse happens to me, i'd just nod my head and say ok.
if she makes a fuss about it, i can only react one way... raise my eyebrow and ask her if she's fuckin serious, and then drop the conversation and not bring up marriage anymore until she realises she's losing me and changes her mind.
they're GOING to sign the god damn prenup. period.
you ever fuck a girl and she tells you to wear a condom and you fuckin agree? it's the same god damn thing. her bitching about signing a prenup, is equivalent of you bitching about wearing a condom. there's no ifs or buts. if you have half a brain and know how to reduce risk, you'd do it automatically.
i'm 1000% with emperorIS on this. grow some balls. it's easy to see who wears the pants in the relationship when this question comes up lol.
in my opinion the law should be changed so that prenups are auto, and you have to apply to get it removed.
Last edited by Ulic Qel-Droma; 07-23-2015 at 04:13 PM.
If you are going to ask someone to marry you and want the person to sign a prenup, please don't.
I am not sure what marriage has become for some of you guys, but I have made the commitment to stay true to my vows for the rest of my life. If the woman turns out to be not what I thought it was, I'd at least make every effort possible and even compromise to stay together.
Marriage is not fast food that you do whenever you feel like. Heck, it's not even a Michelin 3 star restaurant that you just bite the bullet and do it. It's a serious commitment that you should ONLY do it with serious consideration.
I used to contribute more into our finances since I was able to make investments by borrowing from $$ families, but wife still worked very hard to get her degrees and advanced in her career. She's projected to make more than me and my investments in the next tax filling season given her possible bonus, but we have never once even questioned how our money is distributed. You tie the knot and you stick with it, for bad or good.
If in doubt, don't. Saying "I do" means a lot more than just a word IMHO.
Nope, not an idiot at all, just earn so much that my partner knows she will never have to worry about money. As said, we already share everything , split between our names 50-50.
I guess I realize there's more to life than cheating out and nickel and diming, I'd rather take care of those I love, for better or worse. Plus after living together for years, I know I can trust her character.
And it's prenup, not prenub - this isn't an autocorrect, so u clearly don't even know what ur talking about
First of all fuck you.
Second, you earning alot is not a reason to not sign a prenup. You could be making squat and your partner is the one bringing in the cash and she will have every right to make you sign a prenup.
You are right, there is more to life than money. But who is to say that your love for her or her love for you will be ever after? People can turn bitter and sour faster than you can think. You living together and your claim of knowing and trust her character means squat when you are sitting infront of the judge trying to argue what is you think is rightfully yours.
If you are such the good guy you say you are, why don't you keep support ur other half after the divorce? signing a prenup doesn't mean you can't give alimony. Heck give her ALL your shit if you want. But not signing a prenup because you THINK you will last forever or you trust the other person enough is idiotic. And this conversation should go BOTH ways and should come to an agreement on BOTH sides. No one should feel like they are being cheated out of the agreement.
So I don't see what your argument here is for not signing a prenup. Because all your saying is: "I am in love, we are going to last forever." and " i'm a big pussy so I can't bring it up to my partner"
You can sign a prenup, live a happy life and never have to resort it. I don't see what can you say to even refute that.
If you are going to ask someone to marry you and want the person to sign a prenup, please don't.
I am not sure what marriage has become for some of you guys, but I have made the commitment to stay true to my vows for the rest of my life. If the woman turns out to be not what I thought it was, I'd at least make every effort possible and even compromise to stay together.
Marriage is not fast food that you do whenever you feel like. Heck, it's not even a Michelin 3 star restaurant that you just bite the bullet and do it. It's a serious commitment that you should ONLY do it with serious consideration.
I used to contribute more into our finances since I was able to make investments by borrowing from $$ families, but wife still worked very hard to get her degrees and advanced in her career. She's projected to make more than me and my investments in the next tax filling season given her possible bonus, but we have never once even questioned how our money is distributed. You tie the knot and you stick with it, for bad or good.
If in doubt, don't. Saying "I do" means a lot more than just a word IMHO.
That's great. That's probably what OP's friend thought too.. but look at where they're at now. Countless hours of courtroom and lawyers.. money spent just to keep money. Wouldn't signing a prenup be much easier?
And just because you are committed and going to be in love forever.. doesn't mean your partner will.
Not every story ends in a happy ending fairy tale kids. Protect yourself and protect others if you can. Because in the end only you will be the one that suffers and no one can help you
I am not sure what marriage has become for some of you guys, but I have made the commitment to stay true to my vows for the rest of my life. If the woman turns out to be not what I thought it was, I'd at least make every effort possible and even compromise to stay together.
^ the above statement is TRUE for YOU and only YOU only.
Props to you for being a 1000% good guy, it's the high ratio of FEMALES who sees
-wedding as a party,
-wedding as a goal in life
- as a show off
- as a next stage for my bf and I
- as a chance to have a baby cause I'm so ready....
-wedding as a chance to have a guy take care of me (which I don't have responsibility to have to do the same back)
it's these bitches above who DID NOT REALIZE what's it is all about that skews the stats for all of us.
^ the above statement is TRUE for YOU and only YOU only.
Props to you for being a 1000% good guy, it's the high ratio of FEMALES who sees
-wedding as a party,
-wedding as a goal in life
- as a show off
- as a next stage for my bf and I
- as a chance to have a baby cause I'm so ready....
-wedding as a chance to have a guy take care of me (which I don't have responsibility to have to do the same back)
it's these bitches above who DID NOT REALIZE what's it is all about that skews the stats for all of us.
And why are you or any man for the matter be pushed into it? The only reason to do so is because the male sees:
- wedding ALSO as a party
-ALSO as a goal in life
-ALSO as a show off
-ALSO as a next stage
-ALSO as a chance to have baby
-ALSO as a chance to take care of someone (machismo?)
You'd only propose if one of that ALSO applies to your case.
Nevertheless, the fundamental problem didn't change: people are taking marriage too lightly.
for those saying that people who don't want to bring up a prenup are pussies don't seem to realize that it has nothing to do with being pussies
if someone is bringing in a hugely disproportionate amount of money into the relationship and the other person is a lazy turd, for all means - prenup; but if you're bringing in approximately equal (which is a variable number based on person) funds and effort, then a prenup is just a slap in the face.
what emperoris is missing here is that given my partner and i split legal ownership of our new assets 50/50, any break up would lead to a legal split of assets in line with any court order. all assets i brought into the relationship are under my name - legal ownership and legal split per court are already met. she has no downside in staying vs. leaving, i am happy as a clam as i know she is protected and does not have to feel she needs to stay with me for money - it is actually a ridiculously refreshing thing, when you see all the gold digging whores in Vancouver, and wonder do they only stay with the whet pussy they're with for their money... for me i'd never have to consider that.
now, don't get me wrong, if we broke up, we'd go our separate ways in life and financially, when we have kids, i'm financially tied to her anyway, so the prenup becomes a lot less effective
so, there you go, prenup or not, it's irrelevant - maturity is what matters here, i hope the audience here is in their late teens / very young 20's, as the responses would reflect that level of relationship maturity.
I love the comments in this thread. How you should get a prenup to cover your ass, so your gold digging wife can't take 50% of what is yours.
These are the people who shouldn't get married. We're not in the fucking dark ages of India or China, where a fucking dowry or shit still exists. If you're still getting married as an exchange of beauty for money, well then you're a stupid, dumbass, pussy yourself. In that transaction, ofcourse you need to sign a prenup because your wife WILL LEAVE YOU. She will cheat on your spineless ass, find someone better, and take as much as she can get.
Marriage is an agreement. That the relationship is legal, binding, and will need work to keep it going. A pussy signs a prenup because he/she wants an easy way of just getting the fuck out and not dealing with hassles.
The problem with marriage now, compared to marriage then, is work. People these days meet someone, spend a year or 2 with them. Get married, and realize they hate eachother. Then get a divorce and gripe. Why not spend more time getting to know your SO, and judge their character.
I've seen the above happen, so fucking often, it's a joke.
__________________
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[17-03, 09:23] Amuro Ray is it normal for my dick to have things growing on it?
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[15-05, 13:34] FastAnna You guise are like diet coke and I am the mentos
[15-05, 13:34] FastAnna Incredible. How easy it is.
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Originally Posted by murd0c
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I understand there are two school of thoughts here, and I'm on not signing the prenup side. Don't see the point of further discussions as one side can't be convinced otherwise, not to mention the apparent mental breakdown of EmperorIS who can't seem to participate in a discussion respectfully. 4444, I fully agree with all you said.
for those saying that people who don't want to bring up a prenup are pussies don't seem to realize that it has nothing to do with being pussies
if someone is bringing in a hugely disproportionate amount of money into the relationship and the other person is a lazy turd, for all means - prenup; but if you're bringing in approximately equal (which is a variable number based on person) funds and effort, then a prenup is just a slap in the face.
what emperoris is missing here is that given my partner and i split legal ownership of our new assets 50/50, any break up would lead to a legal split of assets in line with any court order. all assets i brought into the relationship are under my name - legal ownership and legal split per court are already met. she has no downside in staying vs. leaving, i am happy as a clam as i know she is protected and does not have to feel she needs to stay with me for money - it is actually a ridiculously refreshing thing, when you see all the gold digging whores in Vancouver, and wonder do they only stay with the whet pussy they're with for their money... for me i'd never have to consider that.
now, don't get me wrong, if we broke up, we'd go our separate ways in life and financially, when we have kids, i'm financially tied to her anyway, so the prenup becomes a lot less effective
so, there you go, prenup or not, it's irrelevant - maturity is what matters here, i hope the audience here is in their late teens / very young 20's, as the responses would reflect that level of relationship maturity.
What YOUR missing is here is that not everyone is in the same martial agreement as you or have super powers to see int he future to see how their partner will turn out in 5, 10, 20 years. Throughout this entire time, you've only talked you you you you, but what about the other person in the relationship? What if your ass turns sour and she wants to dump your ass. She didn't know you were going to be a deadbeat once she married.
And if every relationship is as equal as yours then yes we probably do not need a prenup. We probably don't even need divorce lawyers, we probably don't even need a word for divorce. But we live in a place called reality, people change, situations change, feelings change. Who are you to say that it won't? Because you trust them? because you know them? Once what was considered equal may not be in the future. And not every relationship or marriage are equal like yours, but when you are in love you overlook some aspects and you marry them anyways. This only works if you are STILL in love. but the issue here is not about being in love, its about when you are NOT. Then the details you overlooked becomes unequal to you.
Signing a prenup should not be detrimental to the relationship at all. It should be an honest discussing and both side should come to an agreement. If one side is immature enough to reject the idea, then that should be an alarm to you that this person may not share the same value as you, and you probably should not get married in the first place.
Since you said a prenup is irrelevant regardless, then WHY NOT JUST SIGN ONE. Wouldn't you rather have a safety net rather than not? because why? you worried that your feelings will get hurt? Her feelings will get hurt? Signing a prenup should not affect your feelings for each other AT ALL. You can still be with each other forever, you can still love her forever, you can still take care of her forever. A prenup is there to save you the headaches IF things turns sour and you have sit through hours with lawyers and the partner you do not want to see again reliving the mess you caused.
And I hope the audience here do not take your advice seriously, not only are they foolish, its dangerous. Because you apparently live in a fantasy world where you think you can control the future or at least see in to it.
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