Divorce and Common Law

[waddy41]

Recently 2 people I know are going through divorces, and as well I've heard stories from a few others. One in particular they were dating for around 2-3 years, got married, the woman just stopped working and was suspected to be occasionally using coke. The guy has a house and a business, worth over $1 mil. They separated only about 1 year into marriage. Not saying he was a perfect gentleman, but still....

My questions are:
How can one spouse, after only 1 - 2 years of marriage, take up to half of what the other has built their whole entire life?

Regarding common law: If a couple doesn't get married, why are they still bound by the law if they live together for only 2 years?

[multicartual]

Don't date a woman who ain't got shit to lose

[Mr.HappySilp]

Originally Posted by waddy41

Recently 2 people I know are going through divorces, and as well I've heard stories from a few others. One in particular they were dating for around 2-3 years, got married, the woman just stopped working and was suspected to be occasionally using coke. The guy has a house and a business, worth over $1 mil. They separated only about 1 year into marriage. Not saying he was a perfect gentleman, but still....

My questions are:
How can one spouse, after only 1 - 2 years of marriage, take up to half of what the other has built their whole entire life?

Regarding common law: If a couple doesn't get married, why are they still bound by the law if they live together for only 2 years?

It could go the other way too. So if you got lucky and dated a balling woman and then divorce then you could get half of what she owns too.

However I think if it is something you own and paid with your own money before marriage even after divorce your other half aren't entitle to them.

[murd0c]

The chicks first name isn't Melissa is it?

[tiger_handheld]

How can one spouse, after only 1 - 2 years of marriage, take up to half of what the other has built their whole entire life?

>> Buyer be aware, like everything and anything in life.

If a couple doesn't get married, why are they still bound by the law if they live together for only 2 years?

>> Equality for all! But most probably so the leaving partner gets something for their contribution (ie. helping with mortgage, bills etc.) during the two years. Imagine the woman helping the man pay the mortgage and after 2 yrs the man kicks her to the curb for a pretty young thang...pretty unfair to the woman.


Kanye knew what he was talking about: WE WANT PRE NUP...WE WANT PRE NUP or date your partner for a long time and build up that trust.

[tiger_handheld]

Originally Posted by Mr.HappySilp

It could go the other way too. So if you got lucky and dated a balling woman and then divorce then you could get half of what she owns too.

However I think if it is something you own and paid with your own money before marriage even after divorce your other half aren't entitle to them.

if you live together in the same home, share a car - all that becomes 'matrimonial' property = split in 2. it doesn't matter if you bought the home before you got the married.

if the wife is on the business as a shareholder for income splitting purposes because your accountant said it was a good idea at the time (most accountants suggest this!!)... BAM free $$$!

[punkwax]

Originally Posted by murd0c

The chicks first name isn't Melissa is it?

Please be Melissa.

[ToneCapone]

Originally Posted by waddy41

My questions are:
How can one spouse, after only 1 - 2 years of marriage, take up to half of what the other has built their whole entire life?

The way I understand it is the law isn't so cut and dried that the spouse is immediately entitled to half after becoming common-law/married. It's more like half of what they put in during that time. In this case she can make the argument that she is entitled to half his house but I think there is a 0 percent chance that she will get it. It really depends on what she put in during the 2 years. Marriage laws try to make it as fair as possible for both parties and rely on both parties to be fair with each other. If they cant agree on how to divvy their assets they go to court.

And by the way common-law is now effective after living together for 1 year (in BC)

If i'm totally wrong about anything above i'd like to know too

[van_city23]

i'm pretty sure asset split is only of matrimonial property which is stuff from the marriage and not what you owned before the marriage

[Hehe]

Originally Posted by Mr.HappySilp

It could go the other way too. So if you got lucky and dated a balling woman and then divorce then you could get half of what she owns too.

However I think if it is something you own and paid with your own money before marriage even after divorce your other half aren't entitle to them.

Did you just describe Multicartual's dream?


Seriously though, get a good lawyer, but the basis is that only gains from AFTER the marriage would count.

So, say if guy's business earned 100k a year after the marriage, that's subject to split.

As for the house, if it was purchased pre-marriage but still has mortgage, the math is a bit messed up, so consult a lawyer.

[EmperorIS]

get a prenup save the headache.

[4444]

Originally Posted by EmperorIS

get a prenup save the headache.

unless you come from a lot of family money, this will not go down well. even then, it won't go down well.

it's a tough one. i'm thankful that i know my partner and i are completely equal. granted i earn twice what she does, but if we were to split, she and i would both leave with the same assets (we've been together for >5 years) and I have no problem with this, she works hard and gives as much as i do (or more?) to the relationship and our life, the fact that i earn more is irrelevant.

if i worked way harder, she were lazy, doing coke, not working, etc. i'd look to protect myself like OP's friend should have done.

it's not about money or assets, it's about what that person adds to the relationship... some people just earn way more than others (glass ceiling, gender discrimination, etc.)

[Tapioca]

Lots of misinformation out there, but the recent law in BC is pretty clear - you keep your assets earned/acquired before marriage/common law relation and split the gains/losses acquired during the relationship.

IMHO, these divorce horror stories result from men making poor choices when it comes to the women they marry or enter into a common law relationship with. Don't marry someone without the same earning potential as you. Marry someone with as much to lose as you do.

[GLOW]

don't move in with anyone or let them deliver mail to your house either

[waddy41]

Thanks guys great answers here

[BoostedBB6]

Bottom line, don't move in with a chick if you have no intentions to marry her.
I have been through this and lost a LOT with my ex. Dont do it unless your sure!

[EmperorIS]

Originally Posted by 4444

unless you come from a lot of family money, this will not go down well. even then, it won't go down well.

it's a tough one. i'm thankful that i know my partner and i are completely equal. granted i earn twice what she does, but if we were to split, she and i would both leave with the same assets (we've been together for >5 years) and I have no problem with this, she works hard and gives as much as i do (or more?) to the relationship and our life, the fact that i earn more is irrelevant.

if i worked way harder, she were lazy, doing coke, not working, etc. i'd look to protect myself like OP's friend should have done.

it's not about money or assets, it's about what that person adds to the relationship... some people just earn way more than others (glass ceiling, gender discrimination, etc.)

How can signing a prenup be worst than not signing a prenup?

Signing a prenup doesn't mean you have to sign something unequal. You sign on the dotted line agreeing to terms so you know exactly what you will be getting and not getting IF there are any issues down the road. Just because you are fine with your partner taking half of your shit doesn't mean everyone feel the same.

Like I said, sign a prenup save the headache. If you end your relationship on good terms then no big deal, you could talk it over after and give each other more if you want. If not, a prenup is between you keeping what is yours or splitting half your shit with that whore and the endless lawyer battles which will cost you even more in the long run.

[6793026]

HOW the fuck do some of you POST shit up here THINKING it's true. damnnn.

Just cause someone gets married, the chick moves in after doesn't automatically mean she takes over the house. Get your facts straight....

OH, if you think you marry a rich girl and gets divorced that you get 1/2 of her shit.... good luck with that.....

[Zedbra]

Originally Posted by tiger_handheld

if you live together in the same home, share a car - all that becomes 'matrimonial' property = split in 2. it doesn't matter if you bought the home before you got the married.

As a guy that is divorced, I can say that this is not necessarily true. I owned my own home prior to meeting my first wife, we dated for 5 years and then only married for 2. Seeing as how the house was 100% in my name, my ex was only entitled to 50% of the appreciation for the TIME WE WERE MARRIED, not the five years prior. Marriage law supersedes Provincial Law in some matters, and getting a lawyer that knows where those lines cross is important. My lawyer is an ex-prosecutor - he's seen it all.

Laws may have changed since, but that is how it worked for me. Now, if I had put my wife's name on the house, then it would have been an expensive venture for me.

[Tapioca]

Prenups are a good idea in theory, but signing one assumes your relationship is going to fail in the future which puts a wrench into things. If you're serious about getting married, you shouldn't go into it thinking that it's going to fail. That doesn't mean you shouldn't mitigate your risks in other ways:
- don't marry just for looks/sex,
- similar earning potential and real smarts (tough to find these days, according to the keyboard warriors),
- on the same page financially with no debts
- a good person who's willing to grow with you over time.

[4444]

Originally Posted by EmperorIS

How can signing a prenup be worst than not signing a prenup?

Signing a prenup doesn't mean you have to sign something unequal. You sign on the dotted line agreeing to terms so you know exactly what you will be getting and not getting IF there are any issues down the road. Just because you are fine with your partner taking half of your shit doesn't mean everyone feel the same.

Like I said, sign a prenup save the headache. If you end your relationship on good terms then no big deal, you could talk it over after and give each other more if you want. If not, a prenup is between you keeping what is yours or splitting half your shit with that whore and the endless lawyer battles which will cost you even more in the long run.

If u ever get a gf, tell us How the prenup discussion goes

[EmperorIS]

Originally Posted by 4444

If u ever get a gf, tell us How the prenup discussion goes

you're an idiot
if you, or your Gf or Bf is not mature enough to talk about a prenub then you have an even bigger problem and should not have moved in or marry in the first place

[EmperorIS]

Originally Posted by Tapioca

Prenups are a good idea in theory, but signing one assumes your relationship is going to fail in the future which puts a wrench into things. If you're serious about getting married, you shouldn't go into it thinking that it's going to fail. That doesn't mean you shouldn't mitigate your risks in other ways:
- don't marry just for looks/sex,
- similar earning potential and real smarts (tough to find these days, according to the keyboard warriors),
- on the same page financially with no debts
- a good person who's willing to grow with you over time.

Thinking positive is one thing. but in reality when shit goes down, you wish you could build a time machine and sign a prenup. This is the real world, when you are lovey dovey in romantic land.. everything is fine. but once that shit ends, the happy go lucky teddy bear girl can turn in to a money grabbing wretched witch. People change... there is no telling whether you will change or she will change. Ask anyone that is divorced. The person they know today is not the person they knew 5, 10, 20 years ago.

Signing a prenub doesn't mean that you think your marriage is going to fail. many people sign a prenub and live happy ever happy.

[Hondaracer]

If someone who has nothing is going to marry someone with all sorts of assets/resources and the other party can't see that they are simply protecting what THEY have earned, then I'd say it wasn't meant to be.

What's even more fucked up than common law/divorce shit, is child support and child care laws as a common law partner

Worked with a guy who had a on again off again girlfriend who had an 8 year old kid. According to the guy he told her that outside of saying hi, being in the kids presence he wanted nothing to do with the kid and he wasn't going to be a father figure if this was to go forward. He said on average he may have seen the kid 2-3 times a month and only typically when they were together to take the kid to his dad's house

Fast forward two years and they break up, the chick takes the guy to court and the court rules that he acted as a father figure and was ordered to pay fucking child support for 2 years, somtbing like 25k they settled on

[Tapioca]

Originally Posted by EmperorIS

Thinking positive is one thing. but in reality when shit goes down, you wish you could build a time machine and sign a prenup. This is the real world, when you are lovey dovey in romantic land.. everything is fine. but once that shit ends, the happy go lucky teddy bear girl can turn in to a money grabbing wretched witch. People change... there is no telling whether you will change or she will change. Ask anyone that is divorced. The person they know today is not the person they knew 5, 10, 20 years ago.

Signing a prenub doesn't mean that you think your marriage is going to fail. many people sign a prenub and live happy ever happy.

I speak from experience. Have you ever been close to marrying someone? Have you had such conversations with a woman before?