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-   -   Asking Permission... (https://www.revscene.net/forums/561412-asking-permission.html)

Noir 01-21-2009 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Berzerker (Post 6237646)
Another interesting point in a post was "What if he says no?" I had never thought of that haha. Wouldn't THAT be a kick in the balls. I like that idea about telling the mom first... however I think her mom would keep it a secret until I asked just to be mean to me :D

Maybe not a "No." But what if they start to grill you. Like:

How much money do you make?
How will you provide for their daughter, new family?
Where will you live? Will you be in an apt for the next 5 yrs or in a brand new home?
Are you going to be at the same job 5 yrs from now, or do you have plans to progress? If so, what are they?

Haha, did you prepare for that?

j/k. Good luck dude, I'm sure you'll be fine.

Berzerker 01-21-2009 03:40 PM

^^^ All that stuff has already been discussed.

Her father bought her sister and husband a house so that issue isn't an issue. That offer has been put on the table already. They are very family oriented so offspring is well taken care of by her parents :D I'll post up the results after the deed is done lol.... or you can read all about it in my obituary haha.

Berz out.

Noir 01-21-2009 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Berzerker (Post 6237744)
^^^ All that stuff has already been discussed.

Her father bought her sister and husband a house so that issue isn't an issue. That offer has been put on the table already. They are very family oriented so offspring is well taken care of by her parents :D I'll post up the results after the deed is done lol.... or you can read all about it in my obituary haha.

Berz out.

Dude, sounds like the parents are expecting it already too. Seems like they're just expecting a Permission not for permission's sake but just as a form of formality.

The light is green :D

Armind 01-21-2009 06:32 PM

Bust out the alcohol i guess? :D

quasi 01-21-2009 07:50 PM

I think you should just show up at her house when just her parents are home. Tell them you want to show them something before I give it to "daughers name". Show them the ring and her mom will probably say something like, "is that what I think it is?" You give her a shit eating grin, knod and say Berz Out. I'm sure it will be fine don't even sweat it and after it's over the weight will be lifted.

If you're excited about it and you've been together for some time then I'm sure they'll be happy for the both of you. If they didn't like you I'm sure you would have already heard about it so no worries. :)

StaxBundlez 01-21-2009 07:53 PM

yah did

got punched in the ear.....

Girl 01-21-2009 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Berzerker (Post 6237646)
Yea that's a good point in several posts.. is it really asking permission or more like giving a heads up and manning up and bonding with the soon to be father in law. As for Care, she knows it's coming but not when or where ;)

Another interesting point in a post was "What if he says no?" I had never thought of that haha. Wouldn't THAT be a kick in the balls. I like that idea about telling the mom first... however I think her mom would keep it a secret until I asked just to be mean to me :D

Her family loves me so I'm sure it's not going to be an issue but that still doesn't make it less nerve racking.

Berz out.


But I mean come on! That totally ruins it now because she knows you're going to ask for permission soon so she'll be anticipating it. You have to hit her when she least expects it and PLEASE don't do it on Valentine's Day or I will personally go shoot you for being so unoriginal about it. :D

By the way...can I be the flower girl? I have the height for it!


btw. You can always just knock her up and then do the "SURPRISE, you're going to be Grandparents!" when she's almost due and they'll be too distracted by the new baby to want to kill you...yet.

Jassanova 01-21-2009 08:34 PM

Just do it. It's going to be a great bonding moment. If he drinks scotch or whisky or something, buy him a bottle, have a drink or two and just tell him honestly how much you respect him and how much you care for his daughter, and that you wouldn't want to ask her for her hand in marriage without getting his permission first.

If you're genuine and he likes you, it'll go great and be a good way to start up a father-son relationship.

tiger_handheld 01-21-2009 08:53 PM

berz-out and care .. are an item?

are we getting invited to your wedding for this advise?

Berzerker 01-21-2009 09:04 PM

RS wedding? lol I know how that would go... 100 invites and people saying they will show... then when its time only 2 people show up lol.

Berz out.

4444 01-21-2009 09:05 PM

if i had a relationship with them (i.e could even speak the same language as them), then yes, i'd ask

but i can't, so wouldn't - i'd say won't, but that would imply i plan on getting married, which honestly, i never will plan on - but i may grow up one day (no difference emotionally, legally, or financially between common law and legally married, so means 0 to me when >50% marriages break up)

good luck, though

JLC 01-21-2009 11:04 PM

I was at my then girlfriends house (now fiancee obviously), and while she was upstairs in her room, and I told her I was going to go downstairs to get some water (hoping her parents were around) and it just so happened as I was going down to the main floor, her mom was also going down and her dad was coming from the basement...so timing wise, worked out..

I asked them to head over to the living room to sit down as I had something to ask them...let them know how much I love their daughter, and asked for their blessing as I was planning on proposing during our trip in hawaii...they were both very happy and gave their blessing..

simple as that..

Just ask...I dont know what there is to be afraid of...unless you dont really know their parents...

In my case, she's extremely close with her family so I knew her parents very well over the 5 years previous...

Ulic Qel-Droma 01-22-2009 04:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Berzerker (Post 6236908)
^^^ That's the same with me... However it is an awkward situation is it not? The other thing I have to approach with her father is the ring situation. He is a mining lawyer and has a very good friend who gets great deals on large stones. So its been suggested to me that I ask her father about this when I ask permission (by Care's Brother in Law) I'm already getting stressed out!.

Do you think the tradition of asking permission to marry will last more than another generation? Is it a timeless tradition?

Berz out.

i would. i think the next gen would as well. I think it's just the right thing to do, whether or not you accept the father's choice is another story though :P

it's more of a respect thing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Berzerker (Post 6238440)
RS wedding? lol I know how that would go... 100 invites and people saying they will show... then when its time only 2 people show up lol.

Berz out.

LOL I'D SHOW UP! it would be an RS first hah. gotta participate man!

Inaii 01-22-2009 04:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tiger_handheld (Post 6238415)
berz-out and care .. are an item?

are we getting invited to your wedding for this advise?

O.o they have been for a while now....

Berzerker 01-22-2009 07:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Inaii (Post 6239086)
O.o they have been for a while now....


I was the first person to message her when she signed on to RS... It was love at first PM :D


Berz out.

Gumby 01-22-2009 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Berzerker (Post 6238440)
RS wedding? lol I know how that would go... 100 invites and people saying they will show... then when its time only 2 people show up lol.

Berz out.

Hahaha RS meet at Berz & Care's wedding!

If I say I'd show up, I would. People that pull a "no-show" at weddings - that's just disrespectful.

Grandmaster TSE 01-22-2009 02:10 PM

since i'm a goof, i'll have to have something funny in the way i ask
probably get the ring and then go to the father, go on one knee, and ask "will you be my father in law"
but thats just me

Berzerker 01-22-2009 03:00 PM

haha Hey thats pretty good :)

Berz out.

Grandmaster TSE 01-22-2009 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Berzerker (Post 6239505)
haha Hey thats pretty good :)

Berz out.

should use it, HAHA

Lil Bastrd 01-23-2009 03:05 PM

well as much as it nerve racking, I applaud any guy that would out of respect talk to their soon to be father in law. Good luck, and if they like you then you really have nothing to worry about.

Ch28 01-25-2009 11:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grandmaster TSE (Post 6239397)
since i'm a goof, i'll have to have something funny in the way i ask
probably get the ring and then go to the father, go on one knee, and ask "will you be my father in law"
but thats just me

its all fun and games until he gives you a wink, blows you a kiss and tells you to meet him around back.

racerman88 01-27-2009 09:09 PM

it's a sign of respect


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