yeah there are. its not a pure unpure thing. its just weakness. people in society are too weak to act on anything but their most base and immediate desires and emotions. its pretty sad to me, but im a minority in that way of thinking as well.

how many people actually think of that when they're about to get down with a perfect 10?

do you know what your ultimate goal is with life? has it ever changed for you?
I'm willing to bet over half of the people on RS with established careers aren't doing what they had dreamed of doing ten, fifteen years ago.
I'm also willing to bet over half of the people WITHOUT established careers yet don't even know what they'll be doing once they're out of school.

I honestly dont even believe that we are hardwired to want to only have one person.. That is something that was created by religion..

If I make her my wife, chances are I won't bother.
Even if I actually found a girl I actually like, I wouldn't.

But flings, probably.
Dating, we're not official.

And girls so cheat when they're technically "higher up" than the guy. I've been there.

yes but would be hesitant if he was married cause he doesn't want to fuck up and lose half his shit...

pre-nup ftw

it's cuz we're only human.

What goes around comes around.

i dont think it's fair to look at one's parents and draw conclusions about the stability of relationships based on them. i mean, one could attempt the same thing from their grandparents n great grandparents...but it wouldn't be a true representation. they probably have different mindsets.

I know many family members who are no longer with their partners for a variety of reasons - cheating, divorce without cheating, inability to produce a son for the husband, death, etc - and almost none of them have remarried nor dated because they do not agree with it. they hold true to the belief that their one partner was the one for life. (not just til death do us part).

Does that mean that if a 28yr old today would do the same? probably not.

Just cause one's parents didnt cheat, doesnt mean that couples in today's age of instant-gratification, over-indulgence, she'll never find out, fwb, casual sex, meat-market clubs, CL casual encounters, and the need to constantly upgrade, will do the same and stay true to being in a monogamous relationship or to their wedding vows.

The sole purpose of continuing to live? LIVING YOUR LIFE!


See, it's always interesting for me when I run in to a person like yourself. Being hte person I am, I really REALLY don't want one of those so-called "pure" relationships that you're talking about. You know, the one where you fall in love at 16 and then live out the rest of your days. You know why?


Resentment.


I've known quite a few couples who've gotten together, stayed together; sometimes married, sometimes not. Sometimes kids, sometimes not. And then 10 years down the road, one or each of them says "You know honey, it's not that I don't like you, but I have no idea if you're the best for me or not. You've been my only...but I don't know if that's good enough."

And sometimes they've regretted saying that; sometimes people come back together; sometimes one wants to get back together but the other doesn't.

I don't want a "pure" relationship. I want someone who's made mistakes, who's dated around, who's figured out what she does and doesn't want, and that she's picked THE RIGHT GUY for settling down with.

ie: Me.


Once she's finished living her life, of course. I don't plan on getting married for the next half-decade AT LEAST. I have too much of life to live first.

too bad ur options are limited ^

In what way?

people and esp girls get married cause they made the guy surrender.

girls get married cause they think 'this is the best i can settle down with' so it felt right, i'm like WTF, it felt right getting ur last tattoo now u freaking hate it.

and why do people want to get married, cauase they are in love and they want to be with that person forever. i know.. it's hard to believe.

So you don't mind if she cheats on you? That sucks, man. lol That means that ur not good enough for her and shes having second thoughts about you to go screw around to see if ur the "one".

I'd understand is ur not with her and she's dated around, i'm not complaining about that, people need experience and figure out what they want. But not when they're in a locked down relationship, whats the point if u wanted to figure out what u want by locking urself down?

Living ur life just to live? do you not search for a meaning?

not always. i know girls who have cheated just cause they say a guy they liked, acted like they were single and just did it for the fun of hooking a new guy. doesnt necessarily have any negative connotations for the original guy.

Don't mistake me for a negative tone,
but what consists of searching for a meaning? It's way too poetic.

And to be frank, I wouldn't mind all that much if a girl cheated on me. If she needs to go screw around for some self-realization, then by all means, I think I need to do the same to find out why I thought she was the one to begin with.
(This obviously isn't to say I enjoy being cheated on.)

he never said he's ok with her cheating. he said he wants a girl who screwed around, got it all out of her system and is now in a time-to-settle-down mode.

he said he doesnt want a girl who has devoted herself at an early age to a committed relationship, only to find out that she regrets living life later on (like when there's kids involved).

learn to read before you jump to conclusions and base your entire spiel on it.

I search for meaning, but I search through living. If you sit on your ass and just contemplate life, you'll never get anywhere. The only way you can figure out what you want is to figure out what you don't. Don't you think so?

Who said that I wouldn't mind if she cheated on me? According to my future-relationship schema, she'll've dated enough guys to figure out exactly what kind of guy she wants; cheating (while not necessarily nonexistant) will be reduced, I would expect.

You need to be careful how you define a "pure" relationship. When you say a "pure" relationship, that means to most people a highschool couple who falls in love, gets married, has kids, lives happily forever after.

But you know what? You need to reevaluate what that really means. My grandparents have been married for SIXTY YEARS this year. Do you know how their marriage lasted? My grandfather spent an average of 4 months out of the year away from home; travelling, hiking, camping. My grandmother woke up at 5AM went to bed at 9PM. My grandfather woke up at 11AM, went to bed at 3AM.

Notice that? They stay together so well because THEY RESPECT EACH OTHER'S SPACE AND TIME. You need to define what you mean as a "pure" relationship, 'cause it sounds like your definition and mine are different.

YES
YES
O GOD YES!

lol

Because they have a hard time getting up.



Of course we end up cheating! It sucks that I have to bring it forth but when one gets money, they get the power. And when they get the power, they get the women/men. This goes both ways. It's rare, but when I see a woman filled with confidence in herself (and of course, showing off how much she earns isn't bad at all), it's such a turn on. Granted, she HAS to be hot lol. The confidence and money is just an added effect :)

That was dead on. I'm one of those people.. I loved being in a relationship so much that in GR. 9, I started one. I am 21 now and we are still together. Don't get me wrong, I love my person but there's ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS someone in the back of my mind telling me "Why don't you try this? Why don't you try that?" I know I love my person but, like you've mentioned, "what if there's someone else out there that I might love MORE than you?" I've kept a straight cheat-free record in the duration of our relationship but there's the voice again.

yes i believe so! the chances are so much higher when they have power and authority that can be defined with money.

...