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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 05-29-2009, 11:54 AM   #26
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Tell the wife to stop being a baby and grow up. They are basically EXPECTING to be able to leech off the dude's parents. Free baby sitting? $1000? Sitting on "their" couch? LOL are you kidding me. It's so petty considered the parents are letting them live there for free and paying for all the utilities etc.. If they want to get ahead, tell her to suck it up.

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Old 05-29-2009, 03:04 PM   #27
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Fuck I thought we were talking about 10ks of money here. The wife is crying foul over 1K? That's retarded.

The inlaws are probably doing those things to annoy her enough to GET HER OUT OF THE HOUSE.

Take the hint
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Old 05-29-2009, 03:41 PM   #28
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how can a couple be this retarded, please, please do not let the child be born please, we do not need two stupid, non-logical parent to give birth to anymore joe46,47,48.

i was thinking if it was like 5000 or 10000 but come on, on 1000 dollars to have a roof over their heads and a place to eat and worry free, no hydro, no internet, no property taxes to pay.... 1000 is nothing.

oh ghezzz. how can a couple that's married have no common sense? it's funny how the entire board is mature enough to answer this question and obviously smarter than both of them combined.
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Old 05-29-2009, 04:17 PM   #29
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Tell the wife to stop being a baby and grow up. They are basically EXPECTING to be able to leech off the dude's parents. Free baby sitting? $1000? Sitting on "their" couch? LOL are you kidding me. It's so petty considered the parents are letting them live there for free and paying for all the utilities etc.. If they want to get ahead, tell her to suck it up.
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how can a couple be this retarded, please, please do not let the child be born please, we do not need two stupid, non-logical parent to give birth to anymore joe46,47,48.

i was thinking if it was like 5000 or 10000 but come on, on 1000 dollars to have a roof over their heads and a place to eat and worry free, no hydro, no internet, no property taxes to pay.... 1000 is nothing.

oh ghezzz. how can a couple that's married have no common sense? it's funny how the entire board is mature enough to answer this question and obviously smarter than both of them combined.

Pretty much sums it up.... kinda worried what kinda values and level of common sense these children are gonna have when they grow up.........
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Old 05-29-2009, 06:28 PM   #30
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Change locks of the basement so none can come in without he keys. If the husband's parent ask aobut it just tell te paetns they need to have some privacy. Also mention tht the husband paid 20k to revenate the basement. If parents disagree move out and leave things at that. Also depedning when the couple bought the apartment it might be a good time ot sell both apartments since the market is up a little. iF THEY wait most likely the market will crash by next year.
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Old 05-29-2009, 09:08 PM   #31
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living in your parents basement after marriage is eff'ing stupid and gay. this ain't not TVB drama where everyone gets along. tell your friend to stop being so damned cheap and move the fuck out. it's very obvious that they can afford it.
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Old 05-29-2009, 09:45 PM   #32
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Just out of curiosity, how many of the people that posted are married or been to a wedding of a close friend.

For the people that said the $1000 wasn't a huge sum, well I would beg to differ. How many hours do you have to work to have $1000 of after tax money? Also, if any has gotten married, they would know that this wedding gift money is a scam. What you get today, you usually end up giving it back at the giver's wedding.

I never said the wife was expecting the grandparents to baby sit, I said that. I grew up where my grandmother baby sat me while my parents worked. At the very least, I would guess that even 1 day a week wouldn't be asking too much, but for them to say outright that they will not babysit at all is kinda harsh and cold. IMO.

I like how so many people failed at reading. I said it was the husband's idea to buy 2 condo's and rent them out while they lived at home. I guess in this case, the husband should have talked to his parents so some ground rules are set. But if it was me, I would think it is weird for the dad to come downstairs and watch the tv, just like I think it is weird to go upstairs to watch the parent's tv. Whenever I go over to my in-law's house, I do not touch the tv. But then again, the tv is usually set to some hockey game that is on tv.
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Old 05-29-2009, 10:18 PM   #33
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Case point: How much assets are they gaining by freeloading at home? Now compare the amount of assets gained over a measly $1000. It doesn't matter what the reason is- $1000 is a small price to pay to be able to freeload at home. We can't be too greedy.

And before we even start pointing fingers- did they even bother to ask or inquire about it? What if it's a simple case that the parents forgot? Why can't you say- "oh, did you get $1000 from (insert name here)?"

In regards to the babysitting- why not ask their reason for not wanting to babysit the kids? Also, if it's one day a week- why can they not put the kid in daycare? IMO if they're too busy to take care of a kid, they shouldn't have a kid. Don't selfishly wish for a kid then just put the responsibility of raising the kid to someone else. (THIS IS ONLY IF THEY EXPECT THE PARENTS TO TAKE CARE OF THE KID MORE THAN 4 DAYS A WEEK).

If anything, i'm wondering why this whole babysitting thing is such a huge issue. Parents already took care of the husband, now they're expecting them to take care of the kid? Even if they're just bumming around at home, it's their right to bum at home. They've already done their part in raising the husband. Don't expect them to bend over just to make the couples life easier. And as my gf mentioned- if it's such a big deal, go ask the girl's parents to babysit for them.
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Old 05-29-2009, 11:17 PM   #34
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Just out of curiosity, how many of the people that posted are married or been to a wedding of a close friend.
I'm married. I just find it hard to feel sorry for them because of how good they have it. I don't own two condo's but I have a house which I pay a mortgage on. I don't have two kids only one but I pay the daycare, $800 a month whether he goes or not. I also didn't get my wedding paid for my wife and I saved up for it well paying the mortgage on our townhouse at the sametime.

I don't have it hard either, all things considered I'm a lot luckier then most people just coming of age now because of when I got into the market. Your friend is setup so well and he always has the option to leave it's one of those grass is greener on the other side situations.
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Old 05-31-2009, 04:15 PM   #35
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As mentioned already, the $1000 is really... nothing when you think about the situation from the parent's point of views. The couple is living in their house and not paying any of the utilies/taxes. I'm actually a little surprised that the parents haven't said anything about them free loading to that extent because it seems like there is very little communication between the couple and the parents... I mean if they have sat down and talked about it before and the parents were okay with them living in their basement for free then thats fine. But I doubt that that is what happened, given the circumstances.

About the $20k that they spent on renovating the basement, did they first consult with the parents? Maybe the parents' are thinking, "..What the hell, I thought you guys are just planning to stay here temporarily and are going to move out asap. Why are you spending money renovating? How long do you plan to stay!?!? "

In regards to the parents out right rejecting baby sitting. Could they just be scared that if they agreed to baby sit, that the couple would plan to stay even longer? I mean, it seems like from their perspective, that the couple has no intention of leaving any time soon.

Either move out as soon as possible, or sit down and talk with the parents. Tell them that they are stretched out on their budget and it would not be wise for them to move out now. BUT, then agree to pay for rent and/or bills and stuff so as to establish the fact that the couple doesn't want to free load off of them entirely and that they would like their own privacy.
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Old 05-31-2009, 06:12 PM   #36
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Just out of curiosity, how many of the people that posted are married or been to a wedding of a close friend.

For the people that said the $1000 wasn't a huge sum, well I would beg to differ. How many hours do you have to work to have $1000 of after tax money? Also, if any has gotten married, they would know that this wedding gift money is a scam. What you get today, you usually end up giving it back at the giver's wedding.

I never said the wife was expecting the grandparents to baby sit, I said that. I grew up where my grandmother baby sat me while my parents worked. At the very least, I would guess that even 1 day a week wouldn't be asking too much, but for them to say outright that they will not babysit at all is kinda harsh and cold. IMO.

I like how so many people failed at reading. I said it was the husband's idea to buy 2 condo's and rent them out while they lived at home. I guess in this case, the husband should have talked to his parents so some ground rules are set. But if it was me, I would think it is weird for the dad to come downstairs and watch the tv, just like I think it is weird to go upstairs to watch the parent's tv. Whenever I go over to my in-law's house, I do not touch the tv. But then again, the tv is usually set to some hockey game that is on tv.
I am Chinese, married, and I wouldnt even consider living with the inlaws for 10,000, let alone 1k. I value my mental heath a lot more than that. I may have to work a week for that, but I know for sure it will cost me my first born just for mental health professionals.

like I said, it is 100% the husband's problem because he is the one that can make requests without any bad blood.

Last but not least, grandparents doing day care is considered a FAVOR, not a must.
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Old 05-31-2009, 07:02 PM   #37
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The wife is complaining over $1000?! What the fuck...they've been living in their parent's place for TWO YEARS. She needs to shut the fuck up and either move out or live with it. Most basements are rented out for at least $500/month. The parents are losing a lot of money by giving them that area to live in. We're not talking about a broke ass newlywed couple here. They have 2 fucking condos. Move into one of them and quit your bitching.
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Old 05-31-2009, 11:47 PM   #38
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It seems the wife doesn't get along with her husband's parents?
The dad is not like some stranger, maybe he enjoys watching their tv or wants to talk or spend some time with her? Instead of thinking that it is their property since they bought the couch and TV, why not share it and all get along?
And the laundry thing, she just doesn't want her mother in law to see her sexy lingerie.
And $1000, it's time for the kids to give back to the parents after getting married. That's pretty simple. If she didn't like how $1000 was never given to them or mentioned about, get the husband to tell the parents that they don't need to pay that amount back to them, so everything will be sorted out.
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Old 06-01-2009, 08:31 AM   #39
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1. Cut your losses
2. Get out
3. Now!
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Old 06-01-2009, 09:10 AM   #40
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1. Cut your losses
2. Get out
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What losses? $1000? LOL I laugh.
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Old 06-01-2009, 09:38 AM   #41
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It seems the wife doesn't get along with her husband's parents?
The dad is not like some stranger, maybe he enjoys watching their tv or wants to talk or spend some time with her? Instead of thinking that it is their property since they bought the couch and TV, why not share it and all get along?
And the laundry thing, she just doesn't want her mother in law to see her sexy lingerie.
And $1000, it's time for the kids to give back to the parents after getting married. That's pretty simple. If she didn't like how $1000 was never given to them or mentioned about, get the husband to tell the parents that they don't need to pay that amount back to them, so everything will be sorted out.
I have yet seen a wife truly get along with her in-laws

You think world peace is hard to have? try in-law relationships.
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Old 06-01-2009, 11:08 AM   #42
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What losses? $1000? LOL I laugh.
They also spent $20k on renovations from which they will no longer get any benefit.
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Old 06-01-2009, 11:11 AM   #43
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I have yet seen a wife truly get along with her in-laws

You think world peace is hard to have? try in-law relationships.
My wife talks to my mom and sees her more then I do. There always going shopping or out to lunch together.
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Old 06-01-2009, 11:22 AM   #44
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They also spent $20k on renovations from which they will no longer get any benefit.
Oh- totally forgot about that. My bad =O
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Old 06-01-2009, 11:32 AM   #45
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husband needs to step up and speak to his parents about privacy issues. Rent or Free Rent, father-in-law should not roam freely into their basement.

otherwise, move out
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Old 06-01-2009, 12:16 PM   #46
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The father should not be roaming. I'd FLIP OUT at him.
my own father knows not to touch ANYHTING at my place unless he asks first.
cuz it's MY SHIT.

REGARDLESS.

They spent 20K reno'ing the place, is still 20K. The parents should be thankful to some extent.

If I were them, I'd tie up all loose ends, take my $1,000 back (which they have NO right to take) and move into one of the apartments.

Then I'd sue them for the 20K just to show'em u can't fucking people around just because u're related. IMO, Asians are THE worst for that.

god knows how many times ppl in my family use that word to their own advantage. Until I say "stfu, u got nothing on me"
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Old 06-01-2009, 12:34 PM   #47
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Interesting ideas, and everyone is valid.

I think one point that was mentioned that makes a lot of sense is that there is a lack of communication between the parents and the husband. For example, was the parents cool with the idea of them living at home rent free? If the parents sold the house, do the kids get any of the money back from the renovations?
Did the husband talk to the parents about the $1000?
Did the husband talk to the parents about privacy issue?

In this case, I truely think they need to move out for the sake of her sanity and relationship with her in-laws.
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Old 06-01-2009, 12:44 PM   #48
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The father should not be roaming. I'd FLIP OUT at him.
my own father knows not to touch ANYHTING at my place unless he asks first.
cuz it's MY SHIT.

REGARDLESS.

They spent 20K reno'ing the place, is still 20K. The parents should be thankful to some extent.

If I were them, I'd tie up all loose ends, take my $1,000 back (which they have NO right to take) and move into one of the apartments.

Then I'd sue them for the 20K just to show'em u can't fucking people around just because u're related. IMO, Asians are THE worst for that.

god knows how many times ppl in my family use that word to their own advantage. Until I say "stfu, u got nothing on me"
Talk about ungrateful. They let you bum around at home and you sue them for it. GJ being dick to people who help you out. There are other ways to resolve conflicts, being a dick is the best way to make sure you burn bridges. It's not like the fact that they lived at home didn't help them at all in terms of finance.
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Old 06-01-2009, 03:06 PM   #49
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My wife talks to my mom and sees her more then I do. There always going shopping or out to lunch together.
My wife did that as well

Until I put them under the same roof for a vacation

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Old 06-01-2009, 03:12 PM   #50
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Talk about ungrateful. They let you bum around at home and you sue them for it. GJ being dick to people who help you out. There are other ways to resolve conflicts, being a dick is the best way to make sure you burn bridges. It's not like the fact that they lived at home didn't help them at all in terms of finance.
I agree. The parents aren't the ones who asked them to do the renos; they made the decision to do them themselves. Why would you pay money to do unnecessary reno's to a place that you don't own
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