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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 06-18-2009, 10:43 AM   #1
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To Chase or not to Chase

Story: So I went on a Humanitarian Trip to Africa to Help at an orphanage, sick kids etc.. anyways.. I was put in a group of people that I didn’t know. So that was all fine, meet new people stuff like that. In this group there is the Chick, she was pretty hot, caught my eye right away. From the start of the trip we made eye contact a lot, it would linger sometimes, anyways,
We spent the next 3 weeks living/work together in Africa. Got to know each other, and the 8 other people that were were there with. I got o see more of her personality, got to see all the sides of her pretty much, and I do like this chick for sure.. lot of similar interests (Hell we are both in Africa) Personality that I find attractive. Etc, etc, etc.
However she has a Boyfriend, they been dating for about 5 months. Seems serious, the “Love” word was tossed around a bit.. however there are they long lingering gazes, and other things which feel like hints of something.. So we are now both back. I know where she works, im friends with her boss actually.. So I have a nice excuse to visit, I went a visited the other day, got a nice hug from her “I miss you” etc.

So now, im debating what to do..
Should I tell her I have feelings for her and see how she responds. (I didn’t tell her on the trip because well that might have made things awkward)

Do I not tell her, however continue to drop by her work, and chat her up, while suggesting we go out for coffee, to catch up and talk about things. In the hope that her and her BF will not work out.

Do I not do anything, just leave it cause theres not future.

More Details:
Me 25, Live with buddies, have Motorbike, Skyline, 4X4, Good job, work a lot, nice guy,
Her 20, just moved out of her parents, receptionist at a medium sized company, hasn’t gone to school yet, not sure what she wants to do

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Old 06-18-2009, 10:46 AM   #2
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nah taking someone's gf is not cool.
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Old 06-18-2009, 11:00 AM   #3
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Just wait and see if the relationship fails. Don't tell her how you feel if she is seeing someone and she is happy.
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Old 06-18-2009, 11:08 AM   #4
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Dont be a homewrecker
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Old 06-18-2009, 11:28 AM   #5
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Be a good friend to her, but keep enough distance so it doesnt appear that you're trying to get too close. If she feels the same way as you do, then eventually it will all work out.
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Old 06-18-2009, 11:44 AM   #6
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Dont be a homewrecker
that's not homewrecking... it's 5 months! they're not exactly shackled together.
i say keep playing games and staying flirty. and if you're more appealing than her bf, she'll come to you
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Old 06-18-2009, 12:27 PM   #7
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Be a good friend to her, but keep enough distance so it doesnt appear that you're trying to get too close. If she feels the same way as you do, then eventually it will all work out.
^^^ This one.

Keep her at arms length for now.

Little signs of interest doesn't necessarily mean she'll act on it. So unless you're that sure that she'll reciprocate, you'll most likely be burning a bridge for good; considering that you're status with her is that of a "casual friend" at best it seems.
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Old 06-18-2009, 12:28 PM   #8
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a wise man once said

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Not disagreeing with the rest of what you said but I don't believe just because somebody has a mate means they're off limit. Unless those people are your friends. I have strong principles about trying to get with a friend's gf/bf or ex...

but in today's time its all fair game i mean as long as its not cheating/affair then its all good..

origininal: http://www.revscene.net/forums/situa...e-t570134.html



and i keep saying this... its fair game even if two are married because feelings change, and between different people there's a different type of attraction

in a love triangle at least one person will always end up unhappy... be it you or the boyfriend in this situation... why not be more selfish... get the girl and let the other guy be unhappy? because we as humans are all selfish anyways right... we do a lot and i mean a lot of things for our own self benefits (polution, $$$$$, and depletion of natural resources)...

by pursuing you may lose a good friend but not pursuing will lose you an opportunity...
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Old 06-18-2009, 12:29 PM   #9
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More Details:
Me 25, Live with buddies, have Motorbike, Skyline, 4X4, Good job, work a lot, nice guy,
Her 20, just moved out of her parents, receptionist at a medium sized company, hasn’t gone to school yet, not sure what she wants to do
if you consider these factors of relevancy to whether or not to pursue... you're not ready for a relationship
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I mean those LV and Gucci also doesn't make you any smarter
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Old 06-18-2009, 12:35 PM   #10
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the only sacred relationship between two people is marriage, she isn't married so what the fuck? just for it
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Old 06-18-2009, 12:41 PM   #11
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that's not homewrecking... it's 5 months! they're not exactly shackled together.
i say keep playing games and staying flirty. and if you're more appealing than her bf, she'll come to you
Ok so if you've been seeing a girl for 5 months, and the word "love" has been tossed around a bit, (exactly what OP said) you'd be perfectly fine with some guy getting all flirty with your gf and pursuing her?
Maybe homewrecking was the wrong word, but I wouldnt be down with some guy trying to hang around my gf all the time, hoping that we break up
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Old 06-18-2009, 01:08 PM   #12
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NO, that's all
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Old 06-18-2009, 02:01 PM   #13
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post pics in exchange for a more detailed feedback
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Old 06-18-2009, 02:57 PM   #14
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Don't be a douche and wait your turn.

I mean, if you're perfectly fine if what you're planning happened to you, then by all means go for it. But don't dare try to justify your actions because no matter what the situation, you're just being a dick.

=]
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Old 06-18-2009, 03:05 PM   #15
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u could try to score it

but whos to say shes not gonna leave u for the next dude she wants to bone? just something to ponder
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Old 06-18-2009, 03:23 PM   #16
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How do you know you're not misinterpreting her signals? You know, reading something that's not necessarily there because that's what your mind wants to see & think.
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Old 06-18-2009, 03:49 PM   #17
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Do it, and watch karma bite you in the ass, as the table turns on you.
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Old 06-18-2009, 05:23 PM   #18
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Ok so if you've been seeing a girl for 5 months, and the word "love" has been tossed around a bit, (exactly what OP said) you'd be perfectly fine with some guy getting all flirty with your gf and pursuing her?
Maybe homewrecking was the wrong word, but I wouldnt be down with some guy trying to hang around my gf all the time, hoping that we break up
i'm not saying i would like it. but if she were to show more interest in the other dude, then clearly i'm not doing my job right.
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organge7 has spoken, and we have done the opposite. yay!
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Old 06-18-2009, 05:34 PM   #19
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LOL @ you

your replies are always so heartless and trollish.

i love it.
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why you hating on the boss, anyways?
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Old 06-18-2009, 05:38 PM   #20
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How do you know you're not misinterpreting her signals? You know, reading something that's not necessarily there because that's what your mind wants to see & think.
it doesn't matter... he should pursue based on his own feelings... she has the right to shut him down too.. and if you can't accept rejection then don't think about chasing anything in life at all

its like if i'm going for a job i really want but the employer has hinted that they're looking at some other candidates who has a pretty good chance or hasn't shown interest in me doesn't mean I shouldn't try to get the job
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I mean those LV and Gucci also doesn't make you any smarter
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Old 06-18-2009, 05:45 PM   #21
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people only get home wrecked if they can't keep the girl anyways. do what you gotta do.

you really have nothing to lose other than the feeling of hope, which is really just something in your mind.

go for it. btw you shoulda made your move in africa.
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nipples neways...wat is with those fuck'n asians! i mean you would think they've never seen a dentist in their life. are dentists really that rare over there in ricey ricey and? looks like they're star trek ferrengi rejects! fuck'n have broken glass for teeth! goddaymn! and the smell....did a rat crawl in there and shit itself then marinate in its own shit as it decayed?ewwwwwwwwww! i swear...if one of those ferrengi asian girls gave head...when u pull the dick out it looks like it went thru a meat grinder! prolly shaved off a few slices of meat! *shudder*
Greebo i t-boned some guy and killed their baby, it was funny
silvia i have a couple asian guy friends that do very well with the ladies. but guess what, they go to the gym, they dont have long hair, they dont wear orange pants, and they dont play counterstrike. its not the ethnicity that the girls dont like, its the style and personality.
450HP Supra I am about to use your eye sockets as a shoe rack for my nuts. ...something about chinks, j-bodys, I can't quite remember as I was drunk and looking for a girl to punch in the clit. Think of it as a digital urinal, and you are the mint, except, instead of actually smelling mint, you smell like mothballs, rotten kimchee and virginity. I'm about to start drinking heavily now and you better be gone before I get back or I swear to god I will break the internet over my knee and use the pieces to beat you in the deformed skull with, cock muffler.
Iceman-19 If your gf cooks and cleans, good, tell the guy to take a fucking hike. If she doesnt, fuck, that joker can have her. Lifes too short to cook your own meals and do your own laundry, thats what women are for!
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Old 06-18-2009, 05:51 PM   #22
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karma is a bitch.

The answer to your question is, "Are you willing to put up with a girl who is willing to leave her current boyfriend for a man she finds a bit more interesting?"

You may the most interesting man on Earth right now, but with time, your qualities diminsh in her eyes.
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Old 06-18-2009, 05:52 PM   #23
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i'm not saying i would like it. but if she were to show more interest in the other dude, then clearly i'm not doing my job right.
good point there urrh. although i see it the other way around. if she spends more time with the OP rather than the bf, the bf clearly isn't doing his job right.

a real relationship is always being tested at all times and is always exposed to the elements be it parents, religion, race, other men other women, distance and so forth etc etc etc.. if she decides to choose the OP, she does it by her own choice. she did hug him by her own volition didn't she? you can't label the OP a homewrecker by saying he will break up the relationship. he can't break anything. she is the one that will autonomously break the relationship if she chooses to.
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why you hating on the boss, anyways?
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Old 06-18-2009, 06:03 PM   #24
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karma is a bitch.

The answer to your question is, "Are you willing to put up with a girl who is willing to leave her current boyfriend for a man she finds a bit more interesting?"

You may the most interesting man on Earth right now, but with time, your qualities diminsh in her eyes.
If she drops her boyfriend and goes with you, what's to say she won't do it to you?
Is that what kind of person you really want?
Anywho, you may be seeing things that aren't there like people have said, reevaluate her actions carefully before pursing if you're going to. It may just be her being 'nice'.
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Old 06-18-2009, 06:04 PM   #25
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i say nay, u should have boned her in Africa, it's not cheating if not in same area code

making moves on a girl with a bf is not just cool, unless she pursues first
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