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Relationship & Gender Discussion THIS SPACE OPEN FOR ADVERTISEMENT. YOU SHOULD BE ADVERTISING HERE!
The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 07-07-2009, 09:44 AM   #1
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be persistent on pursuing a girl?

So to make this short, this girl is wonderful and for awhile now I've liked her on and off but didn't have the courage to let her know. Finally, when I felt like my chances are good, I let her know how I feel and got the rejection. She says I was an awesome person but she only sees me as a friend. Now my question is, should I keep trying until I feel like I've done my best or just give up altogether? By continuing pursuit, I mean to still hang out with her and hope that maybe she will change her mind. I definitely think she's worth it. Is this common? Do should people normally just give up? I won't be able to reply for awhile but thanks in advance.

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Old 07-07-2009, 09:57 AM   #2
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You're in the friendzone...give up.
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Old 07-07-2009, 10:00 AM   #3
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You're in the friendzone...give up.
+1
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Old 07-07-2009, 10:27 AM   #4
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If you don't think you have anything to lose- then don't give up =]

No such thing as a friendzone- only another wall you can choose to overcome or not.

I mean sure, you can play it safe and attempt to keep her as a friend, But you know very well that she'll only be your friend for a short period of time.

How many of us here have stayed friends with all of the girls that we used to like?

Fact is- you're gonna lose her sooner or later, with that said, you really don't have anything to lose.

Oh- PS. There's a very thin line between persistent and annoying.
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Last edited by ecchiecchi; 07-07-2009 at 11:14 AM.
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Old 07-07-2009, 10:48 AM   #5
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You're in the friendzone...give up.
+2

Also - by the way it sounds, you're young. Go fry some other pretty fishes.
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Old 07-07-2009, 11:12 AM   #6
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Well, I want to show her more of what I can offer. I'm not too young (23). It's just that I've never really been rejected (not being conceited) and I never had this strong of a feeling in going after someone. My friend tells me that I should continue to hang out with her and show her I still care. I really like ecchi's reply, rather than just giving up so easily like that. Nothing to lose right?
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Old 07-07-2009, 11:22 AM   #7
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u might miss other opportunities that come by
so like other ppl say, give up and go for another
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Old 07-07-2009, 11:32 AM   #8
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How long have you known her? How often you hang out? Lol- i'd ask her why she thinks your awesome- and ask her why she wouldn't date you even though she thinks your awesome.

Then you get the real answers instead of the nice answers. lol
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Old 07-07-2009, 11:52 AM   #9
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K this may just be me but if I tell a guy I only think of him as a friend it means I'm not attracted to him in a sexual way and will never be so I'd say give up. It's up to you if you want to stay friends but know that most likely nothing more will ever happen.
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Old 07-07-2009, 12:36 PM   #10
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Yup, like saucywoman said she's not attracted to you.

I assume you have given her everything that she needs so really, if you guys hit it off the only difference is the "status." Which is not enough.

You put the pussy on the pedestal. If I were you, I would stop doing what you are doing altogether, find new girls (tons out there, seriously). If she misses you, maybe you have a shot...but stop giving her what she wants. If she wants more, let her work for it.

Good luck man.

Edit: @ ecchiecchi - there is such a thing as a friendz one. When you meet a girl, don't you classify if you would consider them as a potential? If that fails, aren't they in the friend zone? Just my opinion.
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Old 07-07-2009, 12:57 PM   #11
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do u guys have examples to decipher the difference between annoying and persistence?
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Old 07-07-2009, 01:31 PM   #12
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^ Annoying - keeps bugging the person when they clearly stated their view point(s)/intention.

Persistent - not giving up, since the 'goal' is possible but there's other factors in the way.

But... a good quote says:
“Persistence isn’t using the same tactics over and over. That’s just annoying.
Persistence is having the same goal over and over.”
But relationship wise, it could just be annoying if there's no possibility at all.
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Old 07-07-2009, 01:52 PM   #13
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^ agreed. However great she may be to you now, I would say to not limit yourself and your options, put this girl on hold, and go out and explore a bit more.

You never know where you'll find someone better.

It CAN happen. God knows it's happened to me b4.


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Old 07-07-2009, 02:34 PM   #14
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Give up! She's not going to like you back.. maybe when you get a gf she'll probably rethink it.
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Old 07-07-2009, 02:57 PM   #15
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like u know how some girls
scenario 1:
you ask them to hang out/date they say they are busy, but in reality they just wanna test the guy to see if he's just not a playa playa

and the guy gives up because ....he thinks shes not interested...hence persistence is key in this situation


perhaps after the 3rd try the guy should quit?
know what im saying y'all?
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Old 07-07-2009, 03:27 PM   #16
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hmm fromt he sound of the OP, she seems very adamant.
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Old 07-07-2009, 03:56 PM   #17
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let it go, go chase another person. not worth ur time esp. when you're 23.
FYI, the best thing to do, is to be her best friend. Start telling her about another girl that you like, start talking ot her about all the other friends, parties, crazy sex you had
and i'm sure you'll be on her great buddy list. THEN she'll realize you're really a cool person and maybe she'll see u from another light.
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Old 07-07-2009, 05:27 PM   #18
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^ Annoying - keeps bugging the person when they clearly stated their view point(s)/intention.

Persistent - not giving up, since the 'goal' is possible but there's other factors in the way.

But... a good quote says:
“Persistence isn’t using the same tactics over and over. That’s just annoying.
Persistence is having the same goal over and over.”
But relationship wise, it could just be annoying if there's no possibility at all.
what a nice quote. the culture i grew up in would always project themes such as persistence. For e.g, when i watched certain cartoons, the main character would never give up in achieving his or her goals.

But in reality, does "never give up" even sound reasonable?
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Old 07-07-2009, 06:23 PM   #19
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Give up! She's not going to like you back.. maybe when you get a gf she'll probably rethink it.
Not if she gets a guy she "actually" likes and has the hots for.
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Old 07-07-2009, 08:04 PM   #20
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OP: You're doing it wrong at the first place. Stop being friendly, women don't find that attractive.
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Old 07-07-2009, 08:09 PM   #21
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OP: You're doing it wrong at the first place. Stop being friendly, women don't find that attractive.
+1 girls like assholes. Pretend she doesn't exist, call her fat, make her cry. She'll love you for it!
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Old 07-07-2009, 08:26 PM   #22
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Well... may be not to that extent, but keeping your cool and keeping yourself interesting will definitely help.
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Ezekiel 25:17. The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.
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Old 07-07-2009, 10:12 PM   #23
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+1 girls like assholes. Pretend she doesn't exist, call her fat, make her cry. She'll love you for it!
You bitch! You're fat and you don't exist!
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Old 07-07-2009, 10:27 PM   #24
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GIVE UP!
You failed. You have oneitis
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Old 07-07-2009, 10:56 PM   #25
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i fail to see how she's worth it, when she told you straight up she doesn't like you. don't waste your time on someone who doesn't want any of it. if it isn't working, then it just ain't working. open your eyes my dear!
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