I Love This Doctor
 

I Love This Doctor

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Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speed up heart not make live longer; that like say you can extend life of car by driving faster. Want live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. What are these? Vegetables. So, steak nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop give 100% recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine. That means they take water out of fruity bit; get even more goodness that way. Beer also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: If you have body and you have fat, ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Cannot think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No Pain...GOOD!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU NOT LISTEN!!! .... Foods fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetables bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only do sit-ups if want bigger stomach.


Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: You crazy? HELLO ... Cocoa bean! Vegetable!!! Cocoa bean best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies:

1. The Japanese eat very little fat

And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat

And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine

And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4 The Italians drink a lot of red wine

And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats

And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.


CONCLUSION.....


Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

good read for the morning haha
:D

hahaha that's awesome!

lol!!! that was a good read :)

wow lol! Very good read...
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Good read
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hahaha omg what retarded answers

Was i the only one who read the answers in a Chinese accent?

i fink so

"Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale. "

:lol

:rofl:

im convinced :)

LOL i told my friends the speaking english one before i saw this, must share this on fb :D

Solid, irrefutable arguments.

^ bahahahhaah +1

Hee hee............ that's how I live. I have friends who excercise and really watch their health. Most, if not all, have had heart problems. Honestly. WTF? I used to think. Now it all makes sense. No stress is the best thing.

I love to nap......... it's awesome.

Laughter and humour
watching porn
lot's of lying on couch watching others sweat
= longevity.

i like the whale one

this can't be real is it?

but if it were. i'd believe it came from an asian!
his logic is sound though.

haha I really like the first one.