its not about giving up and surrendering.

if you cant figure out if you wanna be with someone forever after a few years, there's something wrong.

otherwise you are stringing along a person who just happens to be there for your convenience.

if she expects marriage and you do not, you got a big problem.

above poster, you misunderstand me RE: sigining things. signing marriage papers IS a sign to a woman of your commitment to her (in front of god or whatever)

buying her a $4000 bag is a stupid sign of a gold digging materialistic person.

that said, a person shouldnt need to have a "document" to prove one another's love. it should be just so.

if u love her equally and want to put her mind at ease, just do it. love takes many forms.

if you dont know yet, and are wondering about all the fish in the sea. you're not ready.

frankly i find it an insult that someone would be with me but they are thinking that there is someone better out there waiting. better to be alone.

Just be a man and sign it already....

Believe me, chance like this only comes ONCE IN A LIFETIME.

technically you guys are married already by common law...
maybe tell her that?

so what the fuck happened? are you married or what?

Exactly!!! So I am guessing the OP is thinking twice about her.
IF he is not ready to proclaim to the world...then let her go!!!!

Anyways, that's why women in their 20's should go out with men in 30's. maturity level is very different between men and women.
No matter what you do with men in their 20's...they are not ready yet.
It is very common.

And what's the latest news? Married or not married yet?

Don't do it, man! Don't do it!

Do you want kids? Does she want kids? Do you want to live the rest of your life with her like this? Unmarried and no kids? Or do you, at the back of your mind, know that you don't want to be with her forever?

Don't listen to these guys, you only have one life to live, if you don't feel comfortable getting married, than don't do it.

I know an acquaintance who lived with her boyfriend for 10 years. Like common law. She asked him for the marriage. He said no and just moved out. 10 years of wasted life. She's in her 40's and her options are much worse than if she was younger.

I recommend you marry her now or let her go.

^^^

My sister is in a similar situation. She's been going out with her bf for 7 years, and they have lived together for 5. She's been wanting to get married for awhile, and it boiled over a few weeks ago, and he moved out. They want to work things out, but at this point she doesn't want to waste any more time. Get married or get lost. She's in her late 20s, so it's not too late for her.

^ I agree with Presto...

^^ Presto, what a great example. the girl wanted something, the guy couldn't give it, the girl moved out. Plan and simple.

what I don't understand is, wtf is wrong with girls looking JUST to get married. What happened to just finding the right guy and go on from there. It seems like it's their GOAL in life. Having said that, like the OP, if you are not ready to do something, don't do it.

From a girls' perspective, what I don't understand is what went wrong? Your BF doesnt' want to get married, i get it. But what's the reasoning behind it? Give us an insight. Was teh guy 22 and you're 28 and he's just not ready? was he living at home being 25 with no job and you're 21 hoping to 'just get married', was it financial, family or something else?

For most women, their primary goal in life is to get married. Biology has something to do with it (i.e. they're "programmed" to have babies) and also, society puts an incredible amount of pressure on women to get married.

I have come to understand, that we cannot understand why they want to get married so badly, but it is something similar to what tapioca said.

vice versa... women will never understand why we want to have sex all the time so badly.

their urge to get married, is probably just as heavy as our urge to have sex.

it's a fair trade off I think. you only need to really get married once, but we get to have sex a lot. we win.

That's why you discuss life questions like this before you get married. Any person that wants to spend the rest of their life with you, will already have some idea in his/her mind.

Just something to keep in mind
I took a Sociology of the Family course just to finish some elective credits to graduate, and one surprising fact I learnt, is that according to research and statistics from pretty much everywhere, risk of divorce exponentially increases after cohabitation.
It didn't make much sense to me at the time, but honestly, if marriage was something you deep down wanted to do, you would've done it already.
Don't marry someone just because they want to. And don't be selfish in trying to keep someone around who wants something completely different from you. Fact of the matter is, it's not about, "we're practically married anyways, why should it matter if we're married", it's about the simple fact that she wants something you don't. Marriage is still something many people value, and many times cohabitation is treated as a lead in to marriage, but it's not, people who want to cohabitate usually only want to cohabitate and people who want to marry want to marry. Most of the time, couples who cohabitate, one expects marriage and one thinks that cohabitation is enough. The fact that cohabitation is treated in the media and what not so casually and a normal part of a relationship really fucks shit up. People don't realize that to some people, cohabiation is a life choice (like marriage) and not a checkpoint towards marriage, hence the high divorce rates when marriage is forced, which it usually is with cohabitating couples

^good post /end thread

Agreed
Posted via RS Mobile

Agree with this guy too
Posted via RS Mobile

If you surrender, you'll never be happy. It's be a decision you'll think again and again and question why you made it.

Make the marriage decision WHEN you are ready and should never be given an ultimatum.

I agree.... my girlfriend wants a rock, and a wedding...... 30 is just a stone's throw away for me....