my life
 

first of all, just for some background: My mom died right when I was born (she was actually really really hot, but this isn't about her. I guess that's fucked up to say, but whatever.) I actually grew up with my dads family because my dad has all sorts of emotional issues and he bailed before I was born. So you can see, my childhood was really kind of messed up. Anyway, growing up, I felt like there was always a lot of distance between me and my sister. When I was 17 or 18, I first notice that my sister was really fucking hot.

I don't want to go into many details about it, but basically what happened is that i accidentally found a video that she had made of herself. I knew she didn't make it for me, but I thought that she was so beautiful that I watched it twice. I WOULD have watched it a whole lot more, but right around the time I found the video some crazy shit went down and I had to leave home. My dads family who I was staying with got in some bad trouble with the law. I really never talk about it...

Sooo... I was totally lusting after my sister at that point. She was also having bad trouble with the law. She was actually in custody when i left home.My friend and I went to pick her up. When I saw her that day, after seeing the video, I have to be honest, I just wanted to fuck her brains out right then and there. Looking back on it now, It's pretty messed up. But I think that she had feelings for me too. She actually kissed me right after we came to get her... and it wasn't a sisterly kiss, you know? I mean, it wasn't like ridiculously sexual or anything... but it definitely wasn't sisterly.
Anyway, the next time I saw my sister, she looked particularly hot. As messed up as it was, I wanted her.

After we left, we all went to crash with my sisters friends. On the trip there, my friend sort of implied that he wanted to get with my sister, and I got a little jealous. He's a good looking guy, and even though she was my sister, I just felt like he was competition. Not much else happened between us for a while except some maybe sexy hugging.

Pretty much everyone in my life at that point was wanted by the government. So we all moved around a lot. I'm not saying that I'm proud of it or anythiing, but it was kind of an awesome time.

My friend and sister never hooked up I don't think. But i thought there some serious sexual tension going on between them. It was around that time that I got really badly hurt in an accident. It was fucked up. I almost died. But when I was in recovery, my sister came to see me, and out of the clear blue sky she started giving me this awesome, slow, super passionate kiss on the lips.

Sadly (although, I guess for the best) nothing ever came of it. We spent some time apart... and I started to get really religious, so i tried not to think of her that way. It was actually going well for a long time, like i was totally over her. but I have to say, like a year or so after all that stuff went down, we were out sailing (not like a date or anything romantic like that) and she was wearing the most super bad ass hottest god damn bikini I've ever fucking seen and it brough back all the old feellings.... sigh....

A little while later she actually wound up with my friend from before (the sexual tension guy). I can't say i was surprised.

But even after she was shacking up with my friend, there was one time we were at a party... my friend was inside, and my sister and I were outside alone. It was a really intimate moment. I think something might have happened... except I killed the mood when I told her that Darth Vader was our father and that I had to go face him.

Love it.

LOL nice

LUKE

^
:haha::haha: lol wtf

HAHAHAHAHA omg wtf is this

read it like a month ago, but still good

and lies, you grew up with professor oak and went on a mission to become the best pokemon trainer

too long ; did not read ...

My job is so fucking unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career oppertunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single fucking day.

Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.

hahaha where do you guys get these?

epic

LOL that was a good read :D

the "what? what? in the butt" guy

repost!


i loled at gary oak.

I knew this was going to be one of those posts but i couldn't figure it out until the end. then i re-read it with the right context after, then it all made sense :P

cool story

Wow that's kinda sexy, I like these kinda of story.