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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 04-16-2010, 12:00 PM   #1
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[Confidential] Help me decide...

The following is an Anonymous submission by an Anonymous Revscene member. If the member would like me to reply to any post please feel free to let me know

My GF is 18 and I'm 23. We've been going out for 2 months (I've met her for 3 months in total). The thing that has been bugging me lately. We usually are pretty open in topic so we don't have much to hide from each other. Let's say this special person is person "A". My GF used to like him for many years and had been rejected 2 times by this guy before. She thinks he's the nicest person and pretty much a perfect guy.

2 years back A started asking her out now. They went out and hold hands for one evening. However nothing happened afterwards because she didn't want to lose this good friend of hers.

A few months after, A found himself a GF and because her GF knew the situation as well, A's GF wants to cut all the connections between A and my GF. A decided to not talk to her anymore.

Sometime later my GF met a new BF (ex now) and dated for a year. They later broke up because they lost trust between each other.

Now here comes me. I don't even know this girl long enough yet. I'm not as devoted yet because I know stuff like this eventually happens. I didn't know about this whole situation until we are together.

Yesterday we were talking and she mentioned that this issue between us (A, my GF and me). She doesn't want to repeat this problem like she did with her ex. She asked me what we should do (and apparently I know she doesn't want to let go)

I really like this girl. She's one of the most unique girls I've met in my life. She told me that I'm the one that she actually loves. Even if A pops back out of her life, she'll just stay friends with her. She regretted not giving A a chance.

Do you guys think it's because of age and maturity and eventually things is going to work out? I've been debating if I should just stay good and close friends with her until she forgets this guy, or stay with her so I can support her through the way? (trying not to pull my head in too much so it wouldn't be a big problem when I have to let go) I think I'm always in a disadvantage because of how little time We've met.

I'm pretty neutral into this. I know a lot of you guys will say that I should just find another girl, but if it was really in your shoes and it's a girl that you really like. What would you guys do?

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Old 04-16-2010, 01:04 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by El Bastardo View Post
The following is an Anonymous submission by an Anonymous Revscene member. If the member would like me to reply to any post please feel free to let me know

My GF is 18 and I'm 23. We've been going out for 2 months (I've met her for 3 months in total). The thing that has been bugging me lately. We usually are pretty open in topic so we don't have much to hide from each other. Let's say this special person is person "A". My GF used to like him for many years and had been rejected 2 times by this guy before. She thinks he's the nicest person and pretty much a perfect guy.

2 years back A started asking her out now. They went out and hold hands for one evening. However nothing happened afterwards because she didn't want to lose this good friend of hers.

A few months after, A found himself a GF and because her GF knew the situation as well, A's GF wants to cut all the connections between A and my GF. A decided to not talk to her anymore.

Sometime later my GF met a new BF (ex now) and dated for a year. They later broke up because they lost trust between each other.

Now here comes me. I don't even know this girl long enough yet. I'm not as devoted yet because I know stuff like this eventually happens. I didn't know about this whole situation until we are together.

Yesterday we were talking and she mentioned that this issue between us (A, my GF and me). She doesn't want to repeat this problem like she did with her ex. She asked me what we should do (and apparently I know she doesn't want to let go)

I really like this girl. She's one of the most unique girls I've met in my life. She told me that I'm the one that she actually loves. Even if A pops back out of her life, she'll just stay friends with her. She regretted not giving A a chance.

Do you guys think it's because of age and maturity and eventually things is going to work out? I've been debating if I should just stay good and close friends with her until she forgets this guy, or stay with her so I can support her through the way? (trying not to pull my head in too much so it wouldn't be a big problem when I have to let go) I think I'm always in a disadvantage because of how little time We've met.

I'm pretty neutral into this. I know a lot of you guys will say that I should just find another girl, but if it was really in your shoes and it's a girl that you really like. What would you guys do?
sorry but from what I have read

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Old 04-16-2010, 01:22 PM   #3
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i am confused.

someone put it in RS language.
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Old 04-16-2010, 02:18 PM   #4
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I would start dating older women.
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Old 04-16-2010, 02:20 PM   #5
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OP needs to proofread his post, I'm so confuzzled. What does A have to do with anything anymore?
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Old 04-16-2010, 02:46 PM   #6
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so whats the problem? your the one the thinks that she might have feelings for the guy again?

this is where the trust issue comes in.. if you trust her then nothing to worry about.. if you dont then its pretty much over.. as soon as one of you guys stop trusting, its pretty much over..


if i got the wrong idea then forget it.. i wasnt sure what you were asking...
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Old 04-16-2010, 02:47 PM   #7
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ya its a bit confusing but i guess the op is trying to say the past in the present form so that's why its confusing.

18 and 23 is a pretty big difference and maturity level may be very different. I suggest you to wait it out a bit more and if you don't like the stuff that's coming up then just dump her ass
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Old 04-16-2010, 04:00 PM   #8
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so in short, the girl you are dating has a history of really liking this guy (A); she already told you you are the one she really loves now and even if A pops back out of her life, she'll just stay friends with him ...

and your problem is?
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Old 04-16-2010, 04:40 PM   #9
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Despite what she said she would do, what do you think she would do if A called her up tomorrow and asked her out?
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Old 04-16-2010, 04:54 PM   #10
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sounds like she's ok w/ being w/ you for now but the moment the opportunity shows itself, she'll jump his bones if given the chance. if you're ok with that then go ahead.

my friend had a similar situation, but it worked out for him b/c
1. he's totally p*ssy whipped
2. guy A lives on the other side of the world

it was quite a ridiculous situation. but he seemed ok w/ it so it worked out for him in the end.
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Old 04-16-2010, 10:12 PM   #11
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That's toughy. I wouldn't want my gf to even be friends with A if he were to come back. This is the few exception I really believe a guy and girl can't just be friends.
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Old 04-17-2010, 01:22 AM   #12
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im 23 and im currently dating a 18 right now...

BOTTOM LINE: Do you like being with her and does she like being with you?

if the answer is YES to both just see how things work out always prepare for the worst and the best as well.

I dun have any problems with my gf even tho we both had many ex in our past and we been together for a VERY LONG TIME.
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Old 04-18-2010, 06:21 AM   #13
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my gf is 26 and her social life is shrinking.
She's pretty maintenance / problem free.

If you ask me to date a chick in her early 20, I'd say "FUCK NO"
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Old 04-18-2010, 08:00 AM   #14
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but girls younger then 20 are a bit difficult to handle, its not often you find a nice girl who thinks and acts older then 20 if they are younger then 20... i would say to find another girl around your age...
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Old 04-18-2010, 10:43 AM   #15
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from experience, most girls at 18 still do not know what they want yet. really.
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Old 04-18-2010, 10:51 AM   #16
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To the OP: I don't know her, and I don't know you, but from the facts you've presented, I think you're tap dancing on a razor blade.

There are 3 things that stand out in this post... so here they are:

Quote:
1. She thinks he's the nicest person and pretty much a perfect guy.
So why's she dating you instead of him? Settling for 2nd best? If she's settling, she may eventually wonder what else she's missing in the world (she is only 18) and realize that she hasn't really experienced anything.

Quote:
2. She told me that I'm the one that she actually loves. Even if A pops back out of her life, she'll just stay friends with her.
Assuming you meant "him", that's generally not a cool thing. Lets say they go hang out one on one... it's not necessarily a bad thing, but considering she has a history of wanting to explore his pants, you're in a bad position.

Also, she loves you? At 18 and 2 months in, I don't think she knows what she's talking about. Infatuation at best... what's going to happen when the puppy love wears off and he saunters back into her life?

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3. She regretted not giving A a chance.
See number 2... then read 3 again. Seems like she hasn't moved on and you're 2nd best bro.

Good luck!
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Old 04-18-2010, 12:14 PM   #17
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Just remember, it's V to the A, never the other way round. Unless the girl is likes it that way.
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Old 04-18-2010, 10:27 PM   #18
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from experience, most girls at 18 still do not know what they want yet. really.
Hell, I know girls at 28 and still do not know what they want yet. XD
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Old 04-18-2010, 11:31 PM   #19
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from FACTS OF LIFE, ALL girls do not know what they want . EVER.
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Old 04-19-2010, 08:53 AM   #20
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Quick answer...she's young. She'll act it. Date you age until you hit 24. Then the xmas tree rule applies.
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Old 04-19-2010, 11:54 AM   #21
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Where's that department store analogy where there are better guy on higher levels and all girls end up leaving with nothing cuz they always wanted more?
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Old 04-27-2010, 11:01 PM   #22
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The following is a reply from the Anonymous member

Thanks for all the advices. We decided that we should break up and we did.
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Old 04-28-2010, 12:22 AM   #23
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Old 04-28-2010, 01:37 AM   #24
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My GF is 18
that is your problem. don't make the same mistake again.

to all you older guys with 18 year old girlfriends, just enjoy the young body while you can. they're still kids in the head, one day she's gonna like playing with barbies, the next day she'll want a BMW, or a nintendo DS, or a kitten. who the fuck knows. you don't, and they sure as hell don't either.
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Old 04-28-2010, 05:45 PM   #25
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Thanks for all the advices. We decided that we should break up and we did.
Excellent job OP! You have nothing to be sad about... Now go find someone better!
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