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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 11-12-2010, 03:40 AM   #1
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opinion

Long story short, pissed off girl by walking out on her because she ignored me. We were talking about a touchy subject and I asked her "what do you mean to me" she took it the wrong way and ignored me so I walked out on her slamming the door. I tried talking to her and she warned me a bunch of times before not to walk out on her like everybody else in her life did.
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Old 11-12-2010, 04:26 AM   #2
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What opinion do you want or is this more of a discussion?

My opinion and it's a fact that nice guys finish last, you are the living walking proof of it. Leave the touchy heavy stuff behind, your question is just sappy. Do I expect a man to be asking a question like that? No. On top of that, it was a horrible reaction on your part. Show some class not show how much of a macho boy you are and slam a door. Never let them know they got to you.

Solution: Wait a couple days. About 2 days, don't wait longer because she might have forgiven you and moved on then you're only reminding her about it again. Ask if the door suffered any fractured bones. Something funny, then apologize but be vague about it. Don't apologize to her specifically or about you're behavior because you put yourself down by doing so, just ask that funny question then say sorry. Then charm the shit out of her by making her laugh and listening to her answers for the next while. Don't bring up this incident ever again, apologize just once. Don't overuse it. After leave communication to a minimum for 3 - 4 weeks to give her space.

Remember if she's already out with you, save the heavy stuff until years down the road. Let the female initiate that stuff, therefore you know exactly where things are going. Keep them guessing, I keep telling you guys this and here she has you guessing! Only her interest level matters, and if it doesn't raise her IL then don't fucking say it.
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Old 11-12-2010, 04:30 AM   #3
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I tried talking to her and she warned me a bunch of times before not to walk out on her I tried talking to her and she warned me a bunch of times before not to walk out on her like everybody else in her life did.
drama queen much?

She was ignoring you for a question she took the wrong way. You already apologized for your part; so don't let her feel like you should be dragged on coals for it because she's partly to blame as well. The Silent treatment is uber childish.

it reminds me of Dwight's "Andy Bernard Shun"


Unless you're wanting to tap it, then you pretty much have to do whatever she says until that leverage is no longer important to you
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Old 11-12-2010, 11:00 AM   #4
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you need to provide us with more info.

regardless of whatever it was, it is disrespectful to walk away on someone. that's just stupid on your part. I'll refrain from bashing cuase I haven't read the whole story yet.
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Old 11-12-2010, 11:40 AM   #5
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Long story short, pissed off girl by walking out on her because she ignored me. We were talking about a touchy subject and I asked her "what do you mean to me" she took it the wrong way and ignored me so I walked out on her slamming the door. I tried talking to her and she warned me a bunch of times before not to walk out on her like everybody else in her life did.
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based on this, i'd say both of you were immature. Her more than you though. at least you attempted to talk to her about whatever the issue was.
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Old 11-12-2010, 12:19 PM   #6
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Asking a girl "what do you mean to me" = sounds insecure/needy

Be the first to call her out and tell you that you want to be just friends. Your chances are higher this way.
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Old 11-12-2010, 12:34 PM   #7
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We have been have problems for 3 weeks now, and when we finally got to see each other all this shit blows up. We were laying in bed talking about my trip out of the country, she told me that we will talk everyday and then I asked her why? What are you to me? Meaning that I don't expect much from her and she doesn't have too talk to me everyday when I'm gone. She took it hard and then ignored me, so I got fed up and walked out on her. After my little drive around the block I come home and she told me its not going to work out anymore because she has warned me before not to walk out, since everyone has walked out on her.
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Old 11-12-2010, 12:58 PM   #8
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Did you at least smile at her when you said that? Rookie mistake
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Old 11-12-2010, 01:03 PM   #9
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You asked the wrong question, it should've been "what am I to you".
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Old 11-12-2010, 01:03 PM   #10
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Beats me tbh, the lights were off wouldn't have made a difference.
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Old 11-12-2010, 01:29 PM   #11
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Long story short, Live and let die, chick has issues, stay the fuck away, KIWF

What did she say exactly when you tried to talk to her?
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Old 11-12-2010, 07:46 PM   #12
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Ingore her till she messages u.
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Old 11-12-2010, 08:56 PM   #13
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how old are you guys?
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Old 11-13-2010, 01:18 AM   #14
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Old 11-13-2010, 02:40 AM   #15
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OP, you fucked up when you said 'why, what are you to me?'.

From a girl's POV, that's sort of a slap in the face. I realize that you meant it in a different way, but you totally worded it wrongly. No wonder why she was pissed off.

A lot of these posters don't even know what they're talking about.
trying to hold your pride and ignoring her till she messages you isn't gonna help you at all.

I'm not saying she's right. If she doesn't want people to walk out on her, maybe she should stop giving the cold shoulder. What does she expect you to do? Sit there until she's ready to talk? That could take days or even weeks! (Believe me, I'm a girl, I would know)

if you wanna fix things up, you need to apologize for losing your temper and being insensitive towards her feelings. if I were your gf, that would have translated to 'you aint shit I don't wanna talk to you everyday'
At the same time, don't apologize a million times, once is enough. And I wouldn't let her get away with thinking that she's completely right either.
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Old 11-13-2010, 02:54 AM   #16
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V.Rossi, with your solution, you're not solving the real issue.

It annoys the hell out of me when guys don't do anything about the underlying issue. Its basically brushing her off. If you want to make things right, charming the shit out of her won't make her forget about what he said.
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Old 11-13-2010, 03:19 AM   #17
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We have been have problems for 3 weeks now, and when we finally got to see each other all this shit blows up. We were laying in bed talking about my trip out of the country, she told me that we will talk everyday and then I asked her why? What are you to me? Meaning that I don't expect much from her and she doesn't have too talk to me everyday when I'm gone. She took it hard and then ignored me, so I got fed up and walked out on her. After my little drive around the block I come home and she told me its not going to work out anymore because she has warned me before not to walk out, since everyone has walked out on her.
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That really doesn't paint her in a good light IMO based on those words.

She should be asking herself "why is everyone walking out on her?" instead of demanding from people to "stop walking out on her." Whether it's a personality issue? ego issue? being batshit crazy issue? you're the only one best to know.



The more important question really is "what is she really to you"? I mean you don't really care if you guys stay in close contact while you're out of town, so how invested are you into the friendship/relationship?

Like what's it worth for you to fix it? What if she drags you over coals for it; Make you earn her like you're courting her for a relationship? I think when you answer that question to yourself, you'll know what you can and are willing to do vs. what you won't do.
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Old 11-13-2010, 03:28 AM   #18
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But what v.Rossi was getting at is that these touchy subjects are left for later down the road cuz they're not even dating(if im correct OP?). As much as I would feel comfortable talking to a girl about my/her problems, there are still somethings that I would keep to myself.
In my opinion I think you did fuck up walking out on her. Its just disrespectful to do that regardless of the situation...
Make it up to her by sweet talking a bit so that she recognizes that you feel bad for walking out on her but NOT too much to the point where it makes her feel she has you in the grasp of her palm!
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Old 11-13-2010, 04:16 AM   #19
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There's a lot more that built up to this situation, I'm just frustrated because I've been trying for MONTHS and I haven't given up yet. She told me that she's confused about us but at the same time she wants to be with me, I just can't shake the feeling that I'm on her "hook" just a little frustrated with everything and now I have to leave. Not gonna lie I'm afraid lol
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Old 11-13-2010, 12:39 PM   #20
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V.Rossi, with your solution, you're not solving the real issue.

It annoys the hell out of me when guys don't do anything about the underlying issue. Its basically brushing her off. If you want to make things right, charming the shit out of her won't make her forget about what he said.
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What more does she want then an apology? 10 free dinners? No.

The real issue is op likes to yap about insecure things, solution is don't. But obviously apologize once for his action because that's really all he can and should do. Brushing the issue aside? Why he is even having issues when he's trying to date her already makes no sense, wrong direction. I know the girl won't forget about it but he can change his needy/insecure self and do something about it, by going the right direction. But regardless, op is saying he's been trying for months I already think that's a waste of his and her time. I don't think the relationship is going to happen, there's already problems and they aren't even exclusive.
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Old 11-13-2010, 12:42 PM   #21
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There's a lot more that built up to this situation, I'm just frustrated because I've been trying for MONTHS and I haven't given up yet. She told me that she's confused about us but at the same time she wants to be with me, I just can't shake the feeling that I'm on her "hook" just a little frustrated with everything and now I have to leave. Not gonna lie I'm afraid lol
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She said she's confused. That's woman talk for I'm not really interested but I'll keep you here still until something better comes along. No woman is ever confused not since Eve and the apple.
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Old 11-13-2010, 01:12 PM   #22
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I'm a guy and I don't condone other guys walking away in a hissy fit. Actually, I only storm off as a tactical way to shut her up, and if I KNOW she will run after me.

Never storm off if she is mad and hurt because of your actions.
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Old 11-13-2010, 01:41 PM   #23
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Check out the stalking thread in off topic it might help
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Old 11-13-2010, 04:49 PM   #24
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Check out the stalking thread in off topic it might help
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Is it even relevant to this thread?
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Old 11-13-2010, 05:09 PM   #25
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dont' worry man, just let her go. ignore her and she'll come back at you. You can beg and shit but really? do you want to be the 22 yr old that begs for a girl back cause she said "i warned you to not walk out on me".

as long as you aint' lying and you are putting in 100%, then fuck it. peace out and move on, she'll come crawling back.
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