First date

[TOS'd]

OP jumped on this first?

looking for a fling - w4m - 21 (new west)


Looking for a short term relationship.

I want to take advantage of the the bit of summer and I would like company to do all the wonderful things there are to do around the city.

I'm just over 5"2 115 pds, asian. I am going to be graduating from SFU soon. I like all sorts of sports, racket, running, swimming, cycling, hiking. I enjoy concerts festivals, movies and chatting.

I'm looking to have a concentrated amount of fun and romance all in one short month.

I would prefer someone between ages 21-33. If you are athletic, that's a big plus. A sense of humour is absolutly required! I'd like to meet someone who is open and not afraid to really make a connection with someone for the hell of it. (because that's what i'm trying to do)

If you think we'd get along, judging only from this short paragraph, then give me a shout and let's see

looking for a fling - w4m

[strykn]

Originally Posted by TOS'd

OP jumped on this first?

why you browsing that craigslist section

[TOS'd]

Originally Posted by strykn

why you browsing that craigslist section

[xmisstrinh]

Originally Posted by v.Rossi

With the information you provided, I give your 'relationship' 6 months, a year tops. 3 months in and I bet you'll say "I love you" and I have no doubt you'll say it first.

Like I said, you go in too fast you're out just as fast. You may think you have it going well, but you being that available is only going to sabotage your future with her. Ive said it before and I'll say it again. Three C's will have any girl robbing banks for you: confidence, challenge, self-control. pass, fail, fail.

What are your plans for tomorrow's date? Hold hands and walk over to spence diamonds to get her finger measured?
Posted via RS Mobile

Originally Posted by Presto

^^^

He's seeing her everyday. There goes challenge and self-control. You can't make yourself too available. Go do your own shit, and let her make the move to call you, and ask you to do stuff. Turn her down, sometimes. You want to make sure you still have a pair hanging between your legs, at the end of day.

lets just be happy for the guy, ya?

[v.Rossi]

You can't determine what a woman wants by asking them directly, if you do chances are you'll probably be mislead.

But I'm asking you to admit that what we said was damn right. That you know very well a man who's too available will soon be disposed.

Sure I can be happy for him now only to tell him down the road, "sorry to hear pal, don't worry plenty of fishes in sea." Don't be that guy that has to hear it, again. Most life lessons are learnt through pain, whether DUI or relationships, if you haven't learnt than you haven't been hit hard enough.

Dating is long term, it's very similar to working out. There are those who workout for a couple weeks, achieve results they want then simply fade back to old habits and lose their results. It'll be like this guy, he's got the chick now and he's given her the whole package, soon he'll the workout guy who lost his result.

"A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does."

you make a fuss, you're a Macho Boy (z-33, fine example ), if you go along with everything she proposes you're a wimp, a nice guy if you will.

You don't have to think like an asshole to get chicks, just think like a realist.

Is what I'm doing going to help me not just now, but within two months, within five months, will it help her stay until the next valentines or is it another case of forever alone?

-----

This is slightly irrelevant, but just keep this DEFINITION in mind:

Average Frustrated Chump: An AFC is a man who unknowingly kills the sexual and romantic interests of a woman through the very deeds and behaviors he believes should arouse them. This ironic outcome is usually attributed to a complete imbalance of qualities in the AFC, such as the extreme willingness to listen, understand and comfort a woman, while also sharply contrasting this by a concentrated effort to avoid sexual innuendos or advances of any kind, avoiding differing opinions or interests that may insinuate any incompatibility and the avoidance of telling a woman she is behaving wrong and/or improperly, even in cases when it's clear that she is.

Other typical traits and behaviors of the AFC include but are not limited to:

~An unprecedented ability to forgive a woman for hurtful and/or malicious acts.

~An unusual level of trust that fails to keep gullable behavior in check.

~The act of providing expensive or romantic gifts too readily and/or prematurely.

~The act of performing favors even when he feels he is being taken advantage of.

~The view that the majority of men are heartless dogs who chase women for sexual purposes only.

~An eagerness to display his romantic, chivalrous and sensitive qualities to prove he is not like other men.

~The act of changing who he is in an effort to impress a certain woman.

Source, urbandictionary

[Cassijon]

how bout the grouse grind. you sure do learn alot about someone doing an activity like that (kind of like that new show, love in the wild) lol

[Greenstoner]

movie on first date sucks , no conversation involved at all

if you wanna watch a movie then do it at home and not public

if the time allow, spend a day trip at seattle. It would be hella fun if you can pull it off at the end of the day

[jeffh]

your gonna get a chick you hardly know to drive 2 hours to seattle with you an bacK? you crazy dude

just went on a "first date" last night with a broad
kind of a met through work/ got set up scenario, but didnt really nkow fuckall about eachother
i met her in DT kelowna, we walked to a coffee shop, i bought the drinks (cuz if she pays, its not a date haha) and then we just walked around DT for a bit, sat on a bench on the beach and watched the sunset. had decent conversation for 2 hours, learnt alot about eachother. i walked her to her car said night and that was it

simple. cheap. and it accomplished us breaking the ice and letting her think im not a serial killer

[toyobaru]

Originally Posted by Lamboda

I agree with v.Rossi here, but I personally would have a time limit of about 1 hour. I'd make her wanting more even if it means choosing to end a little early because it shows you have something to do later and are not a wimp but that's something I would do.

I can only offer you my advice so I advise you to take her to a coffee shop. It shows that you are interesting if you can maintain an interesting conversation. It also allows for you to have different opportunities such as walking outside etc.

I would also suggest you paying for the drink/meal because it would make the date a date unless she tells you she tells you otherwise.

Finally I would like to address one matter that irritates me, you can take it or leave it. If you are going to have dinner with her please Please PLEASE TRY NOT TO WHIP OUT YOUR PHONE UNLESS IT'S AN EMERGENCY. IT IS VERY RUDE. People these days cannot live without checking their phone(s) every two minutes. You cut the connection as soon as you check your text or call someone--it just kills the mood.

As always, just make up your own mind.

I have to agree about the whole bringing out the phone my last ex used to whip out the phone ALL the damn time and text like a maniac at like splurts at a time. Too bad she was never instantaneous with replying to my texts or calls. Definitely red flagt though

[PHO?]

http://mrshyninja.com/

[see.lai]

I have learned a lot.

[!e.lo_]

Originally Posted by jeffh

letting her think im not a serial killer

what are you trying to say...

[Vansterdam]

[J____]

I took my girl, or should I say my girl took me, to play volleyball in the park. We played for an hour or so and had some great conversations. Then picked up some drinks and chilled and talked on the beach for sunset. It's great if you can keep a good conversation
Posted via RS Mobile

[Lucky777]

take her to the movie theatres!

[Strzelec]

Originally Posted by Lucky777

take her to the movie theatres!

Did you even read the thread?

[hotjoint]

I hate people who are constantly on their phones on a date. Just shows how much they can't be away from everyone else in their lives if they can't stay away from their phone for a few hours. I have a buddy that has a gf like this, always on her phone texting, she's such a bitch

[melloman]

Originally Posted by hotjoint

I hate people who are constantly on their phones on a date. Just shows how much they can't be away from everyone else in their lives if they can't stay away from their phone for a few hours. I have a buddy that has a gf like this, always on her phone texting, she's such a bitch

Yup.. I have friends who are like this.. always on BBM..

[LSF22]

Originally Posted by hotjoint

I hate people who are constantly on their phones on a date. Just shows how much they can't be away from everyone else in their lives if they can't stay away from their phone for a few hours. I have a buddy that has a gf like this, always on her phone texting, she's such a bitch

+1

It's not just dates. If you're hanging out and socializing with anyone in the real world, take a damn break!!

[Shugoy]

Originally Posted by see.lai

I have learned a lot.

some1 whos always bbming

seeing her everyday is alot, i used to be like that with my ex and well thats exactly why shes my ex now. like what people have already said take it easy otherwise youll just be another short fuse. Dont get me wrong i enjoyed seeing her everyday aswell it was great i loved it, but things went sour after a year n now just stuck in some in between bullshit that dosent make sense Goodluck to you take the advice or not. Dont end up like me. Seriously hah.

[Chronix]

what you guys think of karaoke on the first date? lol

[q0192837465]

do it, sing all the "lum" songs to creep her out

[Noir]

I would first like debunk it and claim that "movies" as bad on a first date is a complete and absolute myth. In fact, I would even go on and say it's an awesome idea to the point that THIS is actually a normal phenomenon. I've done this a number of times before successfully and can actually vouch its validity.

The fact that you don't have to talk whilst still chilling together is a +. Don't forget that if she's dating you, means she's already interested in you. Stop getting life lessons from movies and you'll soon understand that first dates are far from "job interviews" where you have the onus of communicating, sales-pitching, and impressing your suitor.


TBH, shelling out the big guns like romantic dinners + romantic walks and shit like that should be saved for things like anniversaries, birthdays or APOLOGIES. lol. Not on first dates (although women will try to convince you otherwise because they'd like the goods right off the bat)

[v.Rossi]

Originally Posted by Noir

The fact that you don't have to talk whilst still chilling together is a +. Don't forget that if she's dating you, means she's already interested in you. Stop getting life lessons from movies and you'll soon understand that first dates are far from "job interviews" where you have the onus of communicating, sales-pitching, and impressing your suitor.

Haha yes maybe if she was sane, if only it was that easy with all women.

I disagree with the movie idea on the first date. I don't think it's a myth, it's just not preferred.

While you may have been successful on your movie dates, great, all the power to you. But there are women out there, we can call them Professional Daters, she'll go out with you to enjoy a complimentary movie date in town this week instead of staying home and watching reruns of sex and the city while eating pasta. If her fridge is empty, she'd be more than delighted to take up a mid-evening dinner date with you. In her mind, attention from an undesireable male is better than no attention at all.

She knows that her victim will not continue to lavish his attention and generiosity upon her if she doesn't give him a sense of hope and possibility. She's a master at leading males on, obviously the more beautiful she is the higher her standards, but that's not to say there are women out there who rate no more than 5 or 6 who are still full on Professional Daters.

Movie cost for two: $25.00 + some combo $10, $35. Two overpriced coffees would go for like $8? Plus, I wouldn't know if the date I'm sitting with beside in the dark for 2 hours is a serial killer, rigor mortis could take place within then while everyones starring at the big screen!

Some women date simply for the freebies, quick first dates closed with a kiss(don't care how conversative or shy she is) is an excellent way to filter out the good from the bad and to save yourself any time of grief.

[Noir]

Originally Posted by v.Rossi

Haha yes maybe if she was sane, if only it was that easy with all women.

I disagree with the movie idea on the first date. I don't think it's a myth, it's just not preferred.

While you may have been successful on your movie dates, great, all the power to you. But there are women out there, we can call them Professional Daters, she'll go out with you to enjoy a complimentary movie date in town this week instead of staying home and watching reruns of sex and the city while eating pasta. If her fridge is empty, she'd be more than delighted to take up a mid-evening dinner date with you. In her mind, attention from an undesireable male is better than no attention at all.

She knows that her victim will not continue to lavish his attention and generiosity upon her if she doesn't give him a sense of hope and possibility. She's a master at leading males on, obviously the more beautiful she is the higher her standards, but that's not to say there are women out there who rate no more than 5 or 6 who are still full on Professional Daters.

Movie cost for two: $25.00 + some combo $10, $35. Two overpriced coffees would go for like $8? Plus, I wouldn't know if the date I'm sitting with beside in the dark for 2 hours is a serial killer, rigor mortis could take place within then while everyones starring at the big screen!

Some women date simply for the freebies, quick first dates closed with a kiss(don't care how conversative or shy she is) is an excellent way to filter out the good from the bad and to save yourself any time of grief.

Dude, I hear ya. I've done coffees, I've done dinners, but the point I was trying to make was: movies are just as viable. But you're right, movies may just be a "preference" or "non-preference" thing to some; However to validate my statement: movies on first dates has its perks over other forms of first dates.


Things to consider:

1. The environment of movies makes it easier for the couple to get cozy. Unlike dinners or coffees, where one is sitting across each other and just talking... you're actually sitting right beside each other instead.

And TBH, this small detail is BIG. The idea of "movies" may seem casual but the close proximity has the undertones of "intimacy" big time; and honestly, this is why it's soooo successful and likewise viable. One is afforded the opportunity to be really close in a situation so casual that it rarely will intimidate your female counterpart.


2. You don't have to talk up a storm that'll HAVE to last the entire night to keep someone entertained. People think that watching movies = no communication. WRONG! There's lots of opportunities to communicate, waiting in line, previews, little comments during the film, and after the film.

The big difference is, for people who aren't savvy converstionalists, gives them a starting point of something to talk about; which hopefully will lead to other convos.


3. Unlike dinners & coffees, movies allow 2 people to START getting comfortable with each other w/o having to reveal everything about each other.

Always a good starting point because how many of you have found situations where you run out of things to talk about because, there is nothing else to talk about w/o getting overly personal (in context of a first date). Therefore, one is also less likely to find themselves talking about bullshit topics to serve as silence fillers as there will always be something recent and relevant to revert and defer to such as... the movie convos.


4. Movies in general isn't far as intimidating an event in comparison to the traditional ideals of a "date" which I assume everyone is thinking as supposedly romantic.

This is a BIG thing when you've come across a woman that "maybe/kinda" digs you but is not ready (or sure yet) for anything heavy or huge commitment/relationships. Going in hot and heavy will most likely scare away women who may be "on the fence."





Remember, first dates isn't just about getting to know each other (that ONLY happens over time and could take months to years). IMO, the key goal of a first date is "getting comfortable" with each other; and movies can facilitate that just as well as other forms of first dates.




Edit:
BTW V.Rossi, although it's responding to you, it'd not directed at you but to the readers instead. I'm just adding to the discussion from where you left off.