Is it worth it? *mature responses please?*

[SumAznGuy]

Originally Posted by Lamboda

she said we were 'close' friends.

Hence after a month, I called and it was totally awkward. It felt like we were strangers.

When you, not you Lamboda but you as in general, get older and have a long term GF/common law spouse/wife your priorities will change. Even people who claim to be your bestest friends in the whole wide world. You life will go on, and their lives will go on.

Whenever I go out with the guys, sure we still have a good time, but quite a bit of time is spent remember all the crazy stuff we did when we were younger. Now they are either married, married with kids, or in serious relationships. We all have careers and most have mortgages to pay.

OP, like I said earlier. You are not a robot and cannot turn off your emotions. But it's not going to do you any good to sit around thinking about what could have/would have/should have been. From time to time, I still think about some of the girls I should have manned up and asked out or made not chickened out and took inititive when the girl hinted they were interested, but then I look at what I have now and I am glad for some of the choices I did make or moves that I didn't make.

Worst case senario, make a shit load of $$$ and go AMP.
They may be going legal in BC soon. *fingers crossed*

[Quacks]

Originally Posted by Nocardia

Honestly, at this point, I think it may be a good idea to stop hanging out for a few months.

It sounds bad but from what i have seen, in the short term you will feel regret from telling her and be a little bitter whenever you meet up and she talks about a date or doing something without you.

After a few months, when your emotions have settled down, its easier to see them as a friend again (although you still like her, the bitterness is much less) and its not painful to see them happy.

Make sense? If she understands your situation then she would understand it.

I agree with not seeing her for a little while, until you've sorted out yourself. It sounds like you've made it very comfortable for her in the last few years, and the time apart can let her realize her feelings (or further reinforce the lackthereof....) but please focus on yourself during that time.

If she liked you then she could like you again...that happened with me actually. We were friends, he and I didn't like each other at the same time, we parted ways and didn't keep in touch, but those feelings rekindled later on after we got in touch again.

[TDCrysis]

Originally Posted by Quacks

I agree with not seeing her for a little while, until you've sorted out yourself. It sounds like you've made it very comfortable for her in the last few years, and the time apart can let her realize her feelings (or further reinforce the lackthereof....) but please focus on yourself during that time.

If she liked you then she could like you again...that happened with me actually. We were friends, he and I didn't like each other at the same time, we parted ways and didn't keep in touch, but those feelings rekindled later on after we got in touch again.

yeah.. slowly starting to feel less pain although still cant get the feelings out yet :'(

[TDCrysis]

sadly though a friend of mine believes im too positive for others and not for myself, thinks i need to start looking out for myself more now

[mqin]

I feel like you should just get some space between you and her, if it's meant to be it will be. Like others have said you're still young, tons of time ahead of you guys to possibly get together, however don't live every single day of your life expecting that something will happen between you guys.

get what I mean? If you constantly feel like you guys should be together or expect anything of that sort, you will only be counting the days of disappointment where you aren't receiving what you're expecting and thus driving you further into the state of awkwardness.

I'm not saying its wrong to have feelings for her or anything, but you should realize and admit to yourself that at this point it's one way-ed, knowing this. Respect her wishes and just be a friend to her, if an opportunity ever arises in the future you will be there!

[epicbeardman]

Originally Posted by TDCrysis

yeah.. slowly starting to feel less pain although still cant get the feelings out yet :'(

And this too shall pass. Trust me, 7 yrs ago I blew it with some girl. We were both 18. I thought I was hopelessly in love with her and it KILLED me. I thought I was never going to meet another one and I begged her to take me back- she just laughed it off. I told her I could change, that I could do this, I could be that, etc. My older cousin who was 30 at the time laughed at me and told me to man the fuck up and these feelings will pass. He told me that everyone goes through it and and eventually I will cope. I didn't believe it at first; I thought he was BSing, and that what I had was special- like somehow I was the only person who ever felt these feelings, and no one else in the world can ever understand. She was the ONE- I was certain of it! My 18 yr old mind could not comprehend that there are millions more girls out there, and that these feelings that I had for this one will be repeated for the next girl that comes my way that pays me attention and gets my dick hard.

I got over it a month later and started dating, then the same feelings came again for another girl. I was like "hey! I am in love again." Broke up hated myself, for a bit, then got on the horse again. Then again, and again. And I realized about 2 or 3 gfs later, that the feelings I had for that first one, I felt with all these other ones! It wasn't a unique situation- she wasn't the ONE. Each of these new girls brought something to that table, and they made me like them in their own unique ways.. and in retrospect, the first one was an insane nutjob with a hairy snatch, so it was great that I got over her. She could be in Swaziland right now, and I couldn't give a fuck. I am dating a down ass chick, that I really like, and if we break up, it will suck for a few days, maybe a week or two, then I will be right back in the saddle. I know this. I am prepared for this. It's called being mature.

Really, girls and guys are a dime a dozen. And right now since you're a total NEWB to this shit, no offense, but you are, you think this is all BS. That your situation is unique, and that she "COULD HAVE BEEN WHY?!! GOD WHY??!!" and all this lovely dovey BS. Spare yourself, and spare your dignity. Are you considering asking her to take you back? I bet you are. I bet you've looked at her FB countless times or toyed with the idea of sending her a text. WELL DON'T. SHOW SOME SPINE. DON'T DO WHAT I DID. How I wish I had someone to tell me about this stuff when I was your age.

At this very moment there are probably a million maybe more guys who just blew it with a girl, and are feeling like shit. And there are probably billions of guys who have blown it, and recovered. Fact of the matter is, I thought mine was a unique situation, but now I realized I didn't know shit and all this shit is just a part of life- a part of growing up. It will make you stronger and prepare you for the long run- falling in love and shit isn't like the movies where everything is all puppies and butterflies. It's not about realizing that there is not just one unique individual for you and you have to latch onto them like a barnacle- it's about realizing there are millions of girls (or guys) out there, and you just have to sift through the crowd to meet a good one. Ever wonder what happens to the couple after the credits roll? That's real life.

[TDCrysis]

Originally Posted by epicbeardman

And this too shall pass. Trust me, 7 yrs ago I blew it with some girl. We were both 18. I thought I was hopelessly in love with her and it KILLED me. I thought I was never going to meet another one and I begged her to take me back- she just laughed it off. I told her I could change, that I could do this, I could be that, etc. My older cousin who was 30 at the time laughed at me and told me to man the fuck up and these feelings will pass. He told me that everyone goes through it and and eventually I will cope. I didn't believe it at first; I thought he was BSing, and that what I had was special- like somehow I was the only person who ever felt these feelings, and no one else in the world can ever understand. She was the ONE- I was certain of it! My 18 yr old mind could not comprehend that there are millions more girls out there, and that these feelings that I had for this one will be repeated for the next girl that comes my way that pays me attention and gets my dick hard.

I got over it a month later and started dating, then the same feelings came again for another girl. I was like "hey! I am in love again." Broke up hated myself, for a bit, then got on the horse again. Then again, and again. And I realized about 2 or 3 gfs later, that the feelings I had for that first one, I felt with all these other ones! It wasn't a unique situation- she wasn't the ONE. Each of these new girls brought something to that table, and they made me like them in their own unique ways.. and in retrospect, the first one was an insane nutjob with a hairy snatch, so it was great that I got over her. She could be in Swaziland right now, and I couldn't give a fuck. I am dating a down ass chick, that I really like, and if we break up, it will suck for a few days, maybe a week or two, then I will be right back in the saddle. I know this. I am prepared for this. It's called being mature.

Really, girls and guys are a dime a dozen. And right now since you're a total NEWB to this shit, no offense, but you are, you think this is all BS. That your situation is unique, and that she "COULD HAVE BEEN WHY?!! GOD WHY??!!" and all this lovely dovey BS. Spare yourself, and spare your dignity. Are you considering asking her to take you back? I bet you are. I bet you've looked at her FB countless times or toyed with the idea of sending her a text. WELL DON'T. SHOW SOME SPINE. DON'T DO WHAT I DID. How I wish I had someone to tell me about this stuff when I was your age.

At this very moment there are probably a million maybe more guys who just blew it with a girl, and are feeling like shit. And there are probably billions of guys who have blown it, and recovered. Fact of the matter is, I thought mine was a unique situation, but now I realized I didn't know shit and all this shit is just a part of life- a part of growing up. It will make you stronger and prepare you for the long run- falling in love and shit isn't like the movies where everything is all puppies and butterflies. It's not about realizing that there is not just one unique individual for you and you have to latch onto them like a barnacle- it's about realizing there are millions of girls (or guys) out there, and you just have to sift through the crowd to meet a good one. Ever wonder what happens to the couple after the credits roll? That's real life.

lol fair enough but she never has had a BF nor is she that cruel lol.. she pretty much is still the same person since i've known her (and we met when she was 12 and i was 13 lol, oh how i miss middle school ) but yeah. its understandable that everything will disappear overtime cause that's how life works. its just part of the psychological process of human beings. we like to talk about how we feel to get over those feelings quicker. saying that still thank you everyone for their kind words and support

[cruz-in]

its funny you mention your story.

its how my current GF and I got together. During highschool, i liked her... alot ,but i was in the friend zone big time.. i knew it wasnt gonna happen.

how i got out of the friend zone? i moved on ... work , school, gym... pretty much stop talking to each other. Not because i didnt want to, it was because with all that was happening in my life, i simply had no time. Well guess what, 8 years later i found her on face book. I said "wow long time no talk" . We continued mesaging each other and i asked her if she wanted to meet at a timmy's to catch up. And now, we just made a purchase to our first home, have dog together and so on.

The time we had away from each other made us mature into adults and act differently. Hobbies changed, lifestyle changed , she changed .... but there was something that didn't.... i still liked her. i got out of the friendzone because i wasnt the same guy 8 years ago. ( physically and mentally )

So to OP,i know its tough but slowly pull away... so both of you can mature more and if you want to see if you and her can work out, the future will be the time do it. Not now.
Only because you want it so bad that if you get crushed, you'll be crushed so hard that you'll be weaping for weeks.


Everybody will have a happy ending . Even you OP

[TDCrysis]

Originally Posted by cruz-in

its funny you mention your story.

its how my current GF and I got together. During highschool, i liked her... alot ,but i was in the friend zone big time.. i knew it wasnt gonna happen.

how i got out of the friend zone? i moved on ... work , school, gym... pretty much stop talking to each other. Not because i didnt want to, it was because with all that was happening in my life, i simply had no time. Well guess what, 8 years later i found her on face book. I said "wow long time no talk" . We continued mesaging each other and i asked her if she wanted to meet at a timmy's to catch up. And now, we just made a purchase to our first home, have dog together and so on.

The time we had away from each other made us mature into adults and act differently. Hobbies changed, lifestyle changed , she changed .... but there was something that didn't.... i still liked her. i got out of the friendzone because i wasnt the same guy 8 years ago. ( physically and mentally )

So to OP,i know its tough but slowly pull away... so both of you can mature more and if you want to see if you and her can work out, the future will be the time do it. Not now.
Only because you want it so bad that if you get crushed, you'll be crushed so hard that you'll be weaping for weeks.


Everybody will have a happy ending . Even you OP

(you last paragraph) i thought of that part when i was 15 when she told me she liked me, but i didnt think we were mature enough to get anywhere anything happened when we were 15 (she was 13), since (no offense to any young lovers out there) not many young relationships last lol. oh well feeling better now...