Second all of this.

OP: There is ONE thing you can do: listen to her. Don't try to tell her what to do, or how to handle it. Don't even offer an opinion on the guy. Just listen to her if she wants to talk. Most people can figure shit like this out on their own, but many need to be able to verbalize it rather than just rattling it around in their own heads. If she knows she can spill her guts to you without judgement, without being analyzed, then she's more like to keep talking until she figures it out for herself.

Hey guys, sorry I have been away for a bit...
feel stupid for not being able to reply to my own thread.
First I want to say thank you so much for all your advice.
Although I haven't responded, I have read all of your replies.

First I would like to say that my brother in law arrived at 10:50pm last night at the last second and drove here in a rental. He got here way past when I went to bed.
I was not aware of his arrival since I leave through the back of my house to go to work, and it was only until my sister texted me she was leaving because her and her husband worked things out.
He agreed to write a formal apology to my sister, signed and everything.
I helped her as much as I could and I have you guys to thank for small details, because divorce is not something that I am fortunately familiar with.

Just to clarify,
My brother in law opened a sushi restaurant and has been working around the clock managing it.
Because of the "apparent" success (or so I'm told), he decided to open a second location and he works from 8am-11pm 7 days a week.
Whenever he does take a day or even half a day off, he spends it with his friends.
She tries to make the most of the time they see each other whether it's for 15min before they leave for work, or she sleeps later to be able to spend a late night hour with him.


I agree, I would think that it would be a lot harder on the child because they are more understanding of the concept of a family.

Thanks for your input, you make a lot of valid points.
Like in Soundy's post, parenting can be different difficulties for some.
I guess my post is biased towards my sisters side (obviously because we're family) but I trust her.
I don't know his side of the story so I would be wrong to jump straight to conclusions.

Ya I can't really do anything about what another couple agrees to do.
I agree that cheating is not an automatic end to a relationship. They can be patched however the trust level will be almost impossible to regain if possible at all.

Thanks so much for your input Soundy.
I definitely don't want to be saying the wrong things to her, or even offer bad advice if any at all that may change the way this plays out. As a sibling, it sucks to be listening to them without being able to help them because anything you say or do can turn ugly.
I can only be there when she needs someone to talk to or just be a shoulder to cry on.


I want to say a big sincere thank you for all your input, may it be negative or positive. All input helps in shedding light to a subject that I'm sure not many like to talk about. It has definitely made hold back from saying many things to her and her husband.
Like I said, they supposedly worked things out and are probably home by now.
I just hope that I helped her out as much as I possibly could.
Only time will tell what happens to them.

Again, thank you for all your help and support.
Amazing how internet communities can help you in any situation and cheer you up :)

Sorry for the super long post

glad to hear something has been arranged. hopefully it'll work out for her

I see this has been worked out, and my long winded reply isn't really relevant now, so I'll just say I'm glad to hear things worked out. I agree that cheating doesn't have to be the end of a relationship, as long as once everything is out there on the table, both parties are willing to speak it all out, and really work hard at building up love and trust again.

I'm a different person and this may not apply, but if it does, cool.

I'm the type of guy that hates airing my dirty laundry. My advise, is just to be there for your sister and that's it. If she needs money, give her some. If she needs a place to stay, take her in. If she wants to vent, be her sounding board. If she wants to cry, give her your shoulder.

But unless she's specifically asking you to interfere, I would just leave them alone with their business. I personally hate families who think that just because I have a relationship with one of their family members means that by proxy, I'm dating all her family members a well; and also subject to their consequence.

Just be there for her but leave the couple alone to sort their relationship out. Usually I find third party meddling only helps to complicate things more rather than fix things.

So yeah, don't force the couple to air out their dirty laundry in front of your entire family. Yeah the bias will probably be on your sister's favor, but because of it, you (or your family) will just further the husband's resentment and further the friction between the couple.

Recently went through this myself with a close friend of mine. In addition to divorce, throw in depression and suicide into the bag. Yeah.

Without going into too many details, I did what Noir posted. You have to be there 110% for your sister no matter what. Always be there to listen to her and provide whatever support she may need. The most important part is to reassure her that family is there for her all the way.

The most important thing is to not interfere whatsoever. You have to let her deal with the situation herself and let her sort things out between her and her husband.