Admittedly I don't have a kid, but I had to come to terms with my realistic future and what scratching and clawing might do to me mentally as well as my relationship with my GF... that's why I'm headed to Alberta yo... it might not be the right move for a lot of very understandable reasons, it's away from both our aging parents as well as my niece and nephew, but financially it makes every sense in the world and hopefully freedom from anything resembling that stress translates into a blossoming of other things in our relationship growth and the time to explore other paths and hobbies in life.

We talked about it in length and neither of us actually wants to move there, but we wanted a house and we decided if we had to do it here, sink al our savings and be up to our eyeballs in mortgage, that it would surely result in a lot of fighting, people being forced to do stuff they don't want to do, not be able to do any extra stuff together we enjoy and possibly the dissolution of our relationship as a fallout from all that noise. Giving up the scenery around us hardly seems like a thing at all compared to that.

I would highly suggest for the sake of your future exploring other areas of the lower mainland. People can always come visit you, or you can drive an extra 20 minutes... getting a place for $400K cheaper in the region at $1.4-ish is nothing to sneeze at, it's easy to get lost in the numbers here with the massive pricetags on everything, but that's almost half a mill better off... half a mill!! Do you pay that much just to stay where you like? I'd hate to see you stuck with your ass puckered every day wondering if something is going to go wrong and cost you in a way you can't afford, financially and otherwise.

If you are putting everything in, what about your rainy day funds for when the water tank floods the place? Or the poly B pipes spring a leak in the walls?

HELOC baby or ask in-laws parents for help :lawl:

I really mean this without judgment or contempt, but I think you, along with most of us, are going to have to be realistic with what are "wants" versus "needs" in the housing choice.

My wife and I have a choice - we could probably (just) get into a newer house in Brentwood, and we really really want to. It would cut my commute in half, it would get us more land, it would put us closer to family, like it would do a LOT for our lifestyle. But it means I go from a mortgage that I dont generally think about and a few nice trips a year, to budgeting, watching cashflow, and generally saying no to some things on a financial basis.

My parents live an hour and a half from me, in Britannia Beach. We don't "love it here" in Coquitlam like we probably would in Lower Lonsdale, Brentwood, Kits, etc. We decided a house in Brentwood was a want, not a need, and so I commute an hour each way each day. It sucks, but we made that choice, and I try to remind myself of that while yelling at my steering wheel on Hastings St.

I'm just saying you are not alone in this, but frankly, moaning about not being able to comfortably live in one of the most desirable suburbs of one of the most expensive cities in the world is just the new normal and is kind of a waste of breath. Many people will not be able to afford to live in the type of house and city that they grew up in and will have to make peace with that. It's going to be a tough couple decades I think as kids become young adults become working adults.

-Mark

Thing is, people don’t come see you, family doesn’t come by lol.

I second Hob's Ladner suggestion, and maybe even Tsawwassen if budget allows. Ladner is super laid back and people are generally very friendly there. The town's not busy either so you won't be stuck in traffic besides the tunnel during rush hour.

The outdoor lifestyle won't be the same as North Shore with its mountains, but Delta has bike paths along the bay to White Rock and parks like the bird sanctuary on Wesham Island for families to enjoy.

I told spy balloon we should move there and save ourselves some money.

She's like nah

I’m like is being 20 minutes closer to Kirin and Chef Tony worth a million bucks ?

She’s like hell yeeeeah

Stupid !!!!!!!!

You nailed almost everything on the head, but the bit about 20mins extra? With kids, yeah it would mean you aren't seeing these friends or family. To move 30mins away from your life, one might as well do what you did and move Alberta to save 1 million instead of 400k. The different districts admittedly would lead to a very different lifestyle even in the same city.

Without kids, it matters a little less. But without kids, everything is easier.

Simple. Throw kids in trash then !

You can always make moar ?

I drive a transit bus through Ladner and Tsawwassen almost daily and the housing there is actually pretty decent, some of the new builds look pretty nice too.

I believe the baller areas are Beach Grove, over looking the beach, and English Bluff looking down at the Ferry terminal. Then there's Boundary Bay which seems to be super quiet in terms of the area.

Ladner doesn't have the north van racist vibes and traffic armageddon :troll:

North Van racist? This is like the most evenly distributed racial place in the lower mainland. I couldn't even name a demographic that runs the show here, unlike Richmond, Surrey, Langley, etc.
There's other ways to save money, and you aren't wrong, but I'll say, I'd way rather live in a small place and have the options to do the things I do here. Even if the perfect house in whatever other burb was a million, I'd rather live in a shoebox here for a million because of proximity to the things we do as a family, or the things I love to do. 20 minutes to go snowboarding means I'm going to be healthier, based on riding 25 days a year instead of 10. Everyone's gotta figure out their own formula of time/money/fun. But you're totally right about financial stress and the issues it causes. Fuck a house if that's what it means for me. I'll share 2 walls if I have to.

I'm with Westopher on this one -- I'd rather live in a smaller place and be close to the people and things I love.

Detached home ownership is nice -- don't get me wrong. But gosh you gotta be prepared to have some sort of solution to tackle all that house maintenance one way or another. I totally underestimated this before I got myself into a house, and now I am regretting this aspect of home ownership big time.

You either need to have wads of cash to pay someone else to do the maintenance work for your, or you bite the bullet and try to fix as much of it yourself. I don't have that wad of cash, so it means I have to try and do a lot of the work myself. In hindsight, I probably would have been better off if I had bought a smaller, newer place that required less maintenance than an old bungalow that pretty much requires constant maintenance. A townhouse with an attached garage would probably have worked pretty well for me, and I would gladly pay the strata fee if it meant I didn't have to spend all that time and effort trying to fix something that I have no idea of how to fix properly. FailFish

https://i.imgur.com/f6eNSW8.jpg

I came back from my new place. If the key fits, turn it! :awesom:

^Very exciting. Congrats! :D

To add:

I've been bunny hopping back and forth between BC & AB and the more I immersed myself there, the more I understood why people choose to be there. We are all different and come to different conclusions based on how our brains interpret the SAME situations. Fascinating stuff. Objective scenarios with subjective interpretations.

Like, for me, I was born here and while I thought this place was my forever home, as I got older, I found the joys I get here could be relegated to temporary enjoyment (i.e. a vacation here). But immersing myself in the day-to-day grind here has been an enduring experience for me. I could survive here, no problem but I won't enjoy it.

But again, that just comes down to my brain's wiring.

Vancouver is great. Best food in the country! But my heart sleeps when I'm here. Maybe Vancouver will call me back in 15 years, I don't know. But my goal now is to just diversify my bank account.

The moment I bought this place, that cycle of 'what ifs' that have played in my head for years finally stopped.

And it feels amazing.

There's some passive aggressive racism around that you wont experience unless you live there largely fueled by new money gentrifying the area. Mind you theres alot of older folks living in the same area since they were born.

persians on north shore are evenly distributed?

i wouldnt say racism is worse or better than other parts of town

Depends on the age of the kids obviously, but with young ones it can definitely end up making it where they have to be able to come visit you.

Work hard your whole life, actually exceed your life goals, save up substantial capital to buy a home you would have never thought you’d have 10-15 years ago, and now use that sweat and hardship to buy some 50 year old dump and “settle” for a half ass housing situation you’ll never pay off.

Canadurrrr

So many people here seem to be in the same situation. You’ve actually killed it at life, people who graduated high school in the early 2000’s or later would have never dreamt of having millions of dollars in assets or grinding for a 200-300k per year job, you’ve exceeded all expectations and killed it.

And now you’re living worse than people who made a quarter of what you’re making 25 years ago.

Yeah but I got VR porn and cool shit now…. :alone:

Damn yo, I thought I was living pretty happily in my 70 year old dump. :alone:

In her defence, time is money. So there's that. :accepted:

I feel you. Wife went thru this. After 3-4 months, wife gave up. Something just had to change. 99.99% of the time, it's expectations.

Said this million times. Don't talk to be about memories when you ain't got money.

Yes neighborhood is important, but i grew up in HK with crap education and a dump of a place and I STILL married YOU! Start pushing your boundaries and look beyond and hopefully you'll land something.

Income / Money ain't going higher. Market will continue to go up and it'll slowly be priced out. My realtor / friends all said. no one gives a F how much money you poured in and how much you have already sacrificed. Bottom line, it's the $$ and just sign here.

We found a place further away AND you know what... all of our expectations were shattered and we are MUCH happier now. We grow and adapt to new environment as human beings. As my dad would say, Suck it up butter cup, these are first world problems. No one asked you to buy _______. So don't complain.

I don't disagree with the overall sentiments you're describing here, but my question to you would be -- is your description only applicable to Canada? or is pretty much the same thing happening to the whole damn world?

IMO, the whole damn world seems to have taken a turn for the worse since the late 2000's, and haven't really changed course since. Blame it on end stage capitalism, human greed, historical and cultural grudges, grandiose delusions and human stupidity, or whatever you want, but the problem you are describing isn't just happening to Canada.

Unless you have gobs and gobs of money, it is literally a shxthole everywhere now.