REVscene Automotive Forum - A student's short film about education expectations of Chinese parents

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In my day, it wasn't a beating if you weren't bleeding. I blame phone books.

My mom used to make me get the feather duster then beat me with it =( This one time I tried to be smart and hid it. When I was about to be beat, I said I couldn't find it, so she went outside, and grabbed one of those bamboo sticks from the front yard. (Used for supporting plants) I saw it, ran and grabbed the feather duster. Got beat extra for trying to be sneaky. The bamboo hurts the worse cause it flexes =(

edit: Now that I think about it, we never actually used the duster to dust. Just to beat.

I rmb my dad hit me so hard with a plastic clothes hanger that it broke... all the feels are coming back :okay:
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so now if you have abusive parents...does that mean you shouldn't give a flying a fuck about them now?.

they just in their retirement home & you're like "meh...i remember that one time i got hit for bad grades...too bad for you....meh"..

then they Call your Ass & you hang up like ...."Mehh...you don't even have life insurance,I'm not paying for shit"...."remember the bad grades?".

:troll:

I remember the nerd clique in high school calling 91% a Chinese fail

heh good times

yeah in highschool I'd be like YA I GOT A B (i'm white) and my asian friend would be like dude I got a B i'm so fucked... i'd be like :fulloffuck:

B meant I got a Beating. A meant I got an Asskicking
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Reading all of your stories, I feel bad for you... I think I got hit a few times growing up, but nothing major.

In raising my kids, I strive to never hit them. Despite that, I currently have a 5 yr old, and there's been 1-2 occasions where I have "roughed him up" after misbehaving. I remember feeling horrible after the incidents. :(

Now, I just walk away and discuss his behavior at a later time after I have cooled down.

I will still compare my kids to other kids though - just to make them feel bad! :troll:

My mom cared but she was afraid to beat me, so she just verbally abused me :okay: Back in the day when being sent to your room actually sucked. My brother on the other hand, he tried his hardest to get the best marks and if he didn't get an A, he'd take summer school willingly to get it to an A.

i dont think any parent wants to purposely cause pain to their child, atleast i hope so. i have no problems with being hit as a child as the action was for corrective purposes and was not for the purposes of abuse/out of anger/etc...

Kholberg developed 6 stages of moral development with 3 major levels.

Children exist within the pre-conventional level. There are two stages within the pre-conventional level; obedience and punishment orientation and self-interest orientation.

snippet from wiki:

Quote:

Pre-conventional

The pre-conventional level of moral reasoning is especially common in children, although adults can also exhibit this level of reasoning. Reasoners at this level judge the morality of an action by its direct consequences. The pre-conventional level consists of the first and second stages of moral development, and is solely concerned with the self in an egocentric manner. A child with preconventional morality has not yet adopted or internalized society's conventions regarding what is right or wrong, but instead focuses largely on external consequences that certain actions may bring.[7][8][9]

In Stage one (obedience and punishment driven), individuals focus on the direct consequences of their actions on themselves. For example, an action is perceived as morally wrong because the perpetrator is punished. "The last time I did that I got spanked so I will not do it again." The worse the punishment for the act is, the more "bad" the act is perceived to be.[16] This can give rise to an inference that even innocent victims are guilty in proportion to their suffering. It is "egocentric", lacking recognition that others' points of view are different from one's own.[17] There is "deference to superior power or prestige".[17]

Stage two (self-interest driven) espouses the "what's in it for me" position, in which right behavior is defined by whatever the individual believes to be in their best interest but understood in a narrow way which does not consider one's reputation or relationships to groups of people. Stage two reasoning shows a limited interest in the needs of others, but only to a point where it might further the individual's own interests. As a result, concern for others is not based on loyalty or intrinsic respect, but rather a "You scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours." mentality.[2] The lack of a societal perspective in the pre-conventional level is quite different from the social contract (stage five), as all actions have the purpose of serving the individual's own needs or interests. For the stage two theorist, the world's perspective is often seen as morally relative.

Essentially, children are unable to cognitively determine whether an action is right or wrong. The child may find that flinging dog shit onto the walls of a house may be fun. The issue with this is that culturally we find it unacceptable and need to correct the behavior so they dont do it in adulthood. Children may not understand why one should not fling dog shit at walls and as such correction in the form of "pain" might be required. Essentially, they will relate a negative experience (being spanked) to an unacceptable practice (flinging poo).

I can understand being hit as a child and though its more prevalent in eastern cultures (asian, south asian, etc), i know plenty of western (caucasian) kids who got smacked growing up.

Hitting children on the basis of low grades is retarded but looking at it from an ethically relativist view, its a widely accepted practice and will most likely continue.

Sometimes its just necessary....

:badpokerface:

also fun fact: Criminal Code of Canada s. 43

Quote:

Section 43 of the Criminal Code(1) reads as follows:

Every schoolteacher, parent or person standing in the place of a parent is justified in using force by way of correction toward a pupil or child, as the case may be, who is under his care, if the force does not exceed what is reasonable under the circumstances.

The "Spanking" Law: Section 43 of the Criminal Code (PRB 05-10E)

:fullofwin:

did some of you actually got beaten for bad grades? that's harsh, it was always for bad behaviour, not for bad grades

I got beat for bad grades before.

Never got beat for bad grades because I had a computer by the time our grades starting slipping to the B's at grade 5 or 6 (correlation?). My sis and I would scan our report cards and work some microsoft paint magic. :troll:

I never got my ass kicked for bad grades, but I always got my ass kicked for doing dumb shit

Well, that was until I became stronger than my mom :lol

I got beatings too :/

Quote:

Originally Posted by Razor Ramon HG (Post 8179815)

I always got my ass kicked for doing dumb shit

Well, that was until I became stronger than my mom :lol

this.

Man.. my parents were never ever this extreme when I was a kid. They were really proud of me when I got anything over a B lol; I was never a scholar :okay:

On the topic of beatings.. A long time ago, my mom used to have a handful of bamboo sticks (especially those skinny ones for maximum pain) and she'd beat me with it if I did some stupid shit. One time she started to go crazy on me til it snapped, which then she said "brb gonna get another one" :fuckthatshit:

OK, this is an interesting thread. My question to you guys is how would you deal with your own children now that you're adults.

I'm curious.. reason being; my wife is asian and I'm a white dude. :awwyeah:

Our kids are in early elementary school and I can already see the asian dragon mom coming out in my once-mellow wife. Both my kids are advanced at anything they do, whether it be athletic or academic or musical in nature.. they're consistently top in their peer group, yet if they mis-step my wife is all over them telling them how useless they are. I'm sure this sounds familiar to some of you guys; if they don't get whatever task they're set to 100% correct their favourite toy / game / whatever is going in to be tossed in the garbage as punishment.

This drives me nuts.. Love my wife to death but we've naturally become the good cop / bad cop type parents. I try to talk sense in to her and remind her our daughter's doing math in grade 2 that I don't remember even attempting till grade 7 or 8. She and I talk constantly about this but I find this very different to how I was raised.

I might have got the belt and wooden spoon a few times, but it was when I deserved it, like getting caught playing with fire, or kicking my younger bro in the face or something (sorry Nodnarb! :badpokerface: ) I never remember having to deal with all the mental discipline though.

Edumacate me on your thoughts.

God damn, doesn't it piss you off when all your asian friends tell you about their beating stories they endured as child as if they are so elite. Seriously, the way they tell the story I think they are proud of it. I used to work with this older guy at Safeway as a stocker when I was in college and he used to tell me the same stupid story about how he would get beaten as a child and it made him the man he is today. In my head I was thinking his parents should have beat him a lot harder because obviously, they did not do a good enough job.

Quote:

Originally Posted by dachinesedude (Post 8179668)

did some of you actually got beaten for bad grades? that's harsh, it was always for bad behaviour, not for bad grades

not really i show them my big dick and they sure had an experience

Simple answer?

Stay out of her way :troll:

Quote:

Originally Posted by EuterVanWasser (Post 8179908)

he made a mistake... the dinner at the beginning went by waaaaaaaay too easily there's the 20mins of mom lecturing the kid about how much his parents have sacrificed for him only to have him be a failure and he should have no face for bringing back a 91% and the constant questioning about how he feels about coming back with a grade like that and no matter what your answer it's not going to be good; that bit was waaay too short :) or maybe parents in the 2010's are softer than they were :)

oh ic he put it in the second half still not enough yelling and beating :)

For me anything under 90 is a fail. I remember dreading so much when I got a 89. Hahah.

Getting a B is an automatic spank. No questions asked.
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This is why growing up in Asia must suck ass. Kids over there barely ever just get to be kids. The smart ones anyways. There's school after school after tutor after cram school after school clubs after homework...

Fuck that shit. Let's skip and go play pool at Hot Shots instead. :lol

That is the shittiest way to raise a kid, physical violence just sets a bad example, mental abuse fucks you up for the rest of your life.

I would consider myself to be well behaved, and yet I haven't been the recipient of any violence. I learned what was right and wrong on my own, I learned by fucking up, not by being fucked up by my parents.