[Confidential] What can you do in the case of a divorce?
 

The following is a post by an anonymous Revscene member

What can you do in the case of a divorce? Any ways to prevent it? I obviously want both parents to be happy, but if their choice is to get a divorce then whatever so be it, but is there anyway to prepare for that? Or cushion the blow? for me, for them, for anyone? My dad's got a fucking temper and my mom's got a mouth, and it's pissing/stressing me the fuck off.

One of my close friend's parents are divorced.

When I was having a beer with him during that time, he said we just have to keep in mind that our parents' marriage is just like any other relationship. They have their flaws just as others do, and not all of them are meant to last.

IMO, you can try to talk them through things.. but if they really don't want to be together, then in the end, it's a losing battle.

It's a tough and sensitive situation altogether, so I'm not going to pretend to know what it's like. But imagining myself in your shoes, I'd probably leave the house and tell them to call me when they're done fighting.

Listening to your parents fight is one of the worst feelings in the world.

I know it's especially bad for the kids when parents get divorced. Luckily I was too young to remember any of that when it happened to my parents.

But I do believe that it does depend on the relationship. Some people just don't get a long well anymore and are better off separated than living together miserably. If they divorce, then they divorce. There's no really clean and nice way to do it.

I knew one spoiled Chinese guy in his 20s that refused to "let" his parents get divorced even though both parents slept in separate rooms, were miserable, and just simply didn't get along. They sure did love their son and gave him anything he wanted though including not getting divorced.

There is no way to "prevent" a divorce.
If the parties choose to go separate ways, then its probably for the better.
Divorce is a big thing. Those involved generally think things throughly before making a move.

There are things that can attempt to save the marriage. Biggest thing I can think of is counseling. If both parents are religious, then go for religious counseling. Just be aware that most religions do not take kindly to divorce. There will be more of bias to keep the marriage. If not religious, then go for private counseling. However, counseling will only work if BOTH parties WANT the marriage to be saved.

In regards on how to prepare yourself for a divorce..the only thing I can say is build communication with your parents. Even if your parents cant stand conversing with one another..remind them this is not just about them..it's your family as a whole. You guys need to make a plan as to where the direction of this family will operate in the future in order to have it a successful one. Granted, there might be some flaws or changes in the beginning but that's understandable as this is an adjustment for everyone involved. You need to constantly talk on how to make things work for your dad, your mom, your siblings (if you have any) and you. Talking about your feelings does not make you any less of a man.

Divorce isn't an easy thing but it doesn't have to be a terrible process either. Understand that at the end of the day...your parents LOVE their children and they are only doing what's best for their family. They might not love each other anymore but the love they have for you is unconditional and forever.

My gf paretns went through a divorce when she was around 14 to 15. It was pretty hard for her since she just came to Monteral with her family and knows no one here and all of a sdden her parents said they are going to divorce.

She didn't really get it when she was younger and wasn't too happy about it and though it have to do with her. But looking back now she is happy her paretns went through the divorce, not becasue it was a good thing but rather her mom and dad have very different personality and rather them aguring day and night now they are seperated and still keep in contact as friends.

All I can say is respect your parents descions and communicate with them. In the end of the day they both love you and wants to best for you.

Let them get divorced. You trying to stop it will make it worse, because your then forcing 2 people who don't like eachother anymore, to always see eachother.

Best thing to do: Let shit happen and just enjoy your own life. Just think, this means double the presents at Christmas & your birthday! :fullofwin:

They could try marriage counseling. You could help them remember the better times, if there weren't any then :fulloffuck:.

Sometimes it's worth fighting for, depending on what changed in the relationship that's causing it.

If its over, embrace it. You might get a hot step mom or step sister out of it.
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in my personal experience with my parents splitting, there was no way in preventing it from happening. just keep in mind that this is between your parents and if its not meant to be then just let it take its course.

to prepare for a divorce, i'd say find a good outlet. find something that will be able to keep your mind off of the stress. my outlet had been sports and music.... also alot of partying.

just keep in mind to keep a good relationship with your parents regardless of whatever is happening and/or could potentially happen