I can't go to her EVERY time I'm horny. I'm sure as a guy you know sometimes u just need to rub one off and get it out of the way. She doesn't mind me masterbating just not to porn or anything besides her.


She doesn't like oral (bj's and me eating her out) because it's unhygienic and makes her feel like she's only servicing me.
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Unhygienic? Maybe...wash up first?

Well she doesn't want you watching porn but she doesn't want to step up every time you want some??...sounds to me like she needs to make up her mind and pick which one.
It has to work for BOTH of you, so if you guys cant come to a common ground on this then I would say you are in for bigger problems later on in the relationship.

As for not watching porn, that a personal thing and for me I don't. Mine takes care of all my needs in that department.

If she wants to supplement your porn with pics/videos than perhaps that is the middle ground you guys can work with.

On the BJ subject, why not take a shower together, that way everything is all fresh and clean, and you guys take turns. This would solve the hygiene issue as well as feeling like only one person is getting serviced......but in my books, sometimes only one person does get serviced and some other time it's the other persons turn.

Of course I do but she still finds it unhygienic.
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No that's not what I mean. Example. It's 12:00am and I have work the next day. I'm tired and ready for bed but oops, I'm horny and it's distracting and I just need a quick rub off so I can go to sleep soundly. It makes no sense to call her up, get ready to go out and pick her up, have sex, etc.

The bj thing just makes her feel very low I guess.
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I don't understand how she feels low? Unless she's been called names and made to feel degraded in the past, it just doesn't make sense. Has she said WHY she feels that way?

Sorry, I just assumed you lived together.
I can see how that may be harder to do.

Sounds like the only resolution for you is what she is offering when it comes to videos/pics.

As for feeling low, that's to bad. Honestly, if my wife wanted me to do something and it brought her pleasure or made her happy there is very little that I would not do to oblige. It may not be my favorite thing to do but that is what you do sometimes for the person you love. Unless both parties are happy you will never find yourself in a good relationship.

imo you shouldnt assume too much as different people develop their own opinions overtime. it totally makes sense to not engage to something to dont want to do.

as to op, maybe just keep it to yourself. if anything i would just do whatever that makes you the most comfortable. just dont tell her, it would probably save yourself from a few fights and ultimately her issue with being insecure. win win if you can keep it to yourself without feeling guilty. gotta do what you gotta do right? you never know how extensive fights can get.

insomniac: I wasn't assuming anything. I was saying I, as in me personally, don't understand. That's why I asked for clarification if she ever specified why it makes her feel like that.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=H4_g-hi...%3DH4_g-hiPeKU
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It makes sense because everyone is different.

She doesn't need to be called names to be uncomfortable or not like something. Maybe she does have low self esteem or maybe she compares herself or maybe it doesn't turn her on or maybe she doesn't agree with the exploitation of women in porn. Who knows, but just because YOU don't feel that way doesn't mean it "doesn't make sense".

To be honest, regardless if she explains WHY she feels this way, it isn't going to change that she DOES feel this way.

On the flip side, if the OP does enjoy porn, she really shouldn't dictate what he can and can't do. OP should continue to watch porn should he wish to, but certainly I wouldn't talk about it or make a big deal. IF she asks about it, change the subject. OP does not have to answer to her anymore than she has to answer to him.

I wouldn't suggest LYING...but what she doesn't know, won't hurt her.

The first thought was to agree but watch porn behind her back but I'm trying to be as honest as I can with her because she's completely honest with me.

She's really against being thought of just a sex toy and she has had bad experiences with men who lied or cheated on her.

Anyways I'll get back to this thread when I have to talk with her.
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maybe i missed it..but have you asked her how can you deal with the fact that its 12am and youre horny and shes at her house and you cant just go over for a booty call and then leave? i think you said shes not into that..maybe i read itwrong. but i get what you mean. my gf does not like it when i watch porn as well, but shes willing to satisfy my needs when im horny so i guess i dont need too. but i told her when shes not around i dont have a choice but to watch porn lol

i say talk to her about how what options do you have then if you cant watch porn but youre horny and alone lol

have you tried watch porn with her?

and you just gotta let her know, sometimes its not about the porn, just need something to get you off or else you might go kill someone

girl you're with sounds like heaps of fun,

sidenote, go watch don jon. I just watched it last night and it sounds almost exactly like your situation lol

Welp.. You're whipped. /end.

Has she ever denied you sex?

Listen to your own heart. People have different options. Beside this is the Internet people talk big but I bet if fellow RS face the same problem as you 95% of them would just quit porn.

I had an ex not too long ago and the subject of pron came up. She totally cool with me or us watching it since she knows I am into her and she is very confident in herself. There are a few things she isn't willing to do but she was being honest with me about it.

I used to hate this... but as I got older I realized it had more to do with my personal insecurities than the guy himself. I was so bad that if I even saw porn in my exs computers, I would delete it then play dumb if he asked me if I went on his comp and saw anything lol.

Now sometimes he watches it when we're together and it tweaks me out a little but I recognize that has to do w myself so I dont give him shit for it. I'd rather he watch it, even w me around than actually go and fuck someone else so I don't kick up a stink. I'll even help if he wants me to but for the time being I don't feel that comfortable watching him watch it so I just focus on my task lol. In the bigger picture, there are much worse things guys can do to outlet their horniness so we have to give you guys credit for that too. Guys will always be guys and you are a visual creature so it's natural, we just have to accept that and not take it so personally.

This is something more personal that she has to work on herself, you cant really coddle her in this area because you're just enabling this insecurity that she has with herself. Maybe have an open, honest, nonjudgmental discussion about it. Tell her you respect how she feels but as a man, it's a natural thing and she shouldn't feel threatened by it. Possibly implement a 'dont ask, dont tell' rule.. respect her when shes around by not having it in blatant obvious places where she can see it if she agrees to respect your needs as a man and whatever you do on your own time is your business. Reassure her that you are attracted to her physically otherwise you wouldnt be with her in the first place.

Its pretty hard to point out someones insecurities without offending them, so use phrases like "How does it make you feel? Why does it make you feel that way? Is there a way we can compromise on this issue?" Be honest but respectful. Be firm but fair in compromise.

I don't think promising to stop will serve either of you....because you will eventually cave and maybe feel guilty, then if/when she finds out she's gonna flip her shit because you "lied" to her. She will then question everything you ever said to her and turn into an accusatory non trusting cunt, you will be unhappy on both ends and your relationship will not survive because you'll resent her for trying to change a natural habit you've probably had since preteen and she will never trust anything you say leading to bigger problems in the future.

PS: I find girls who dont like oral really selfish so that already minus' some points in her book for me. LOL @ the comment of her feeling like just a sex toy. Nigga please, if she enjoys it as much as you then wtf. She has a very warped opinion on sex, she needs to work on that.

This chick sounds like a real winner.

No porn, no oral, makes you afraid to talk to her for fear of being bitched out, feminist but expects chivalry, low opinion of men, etc.

This is an odd thread. OP i think I know exactly what you mean.

Ri2- if it's the middle of the day and your with your bf, and he chooses to watch porn like a prime time sitcom, that IS weird. The OP sounds more like myself; porn is no replacement for a woman, but if a job needs to get done, it is there to supplement a base instinctual need. It is not there to replace people or emotions. Just shallow physical gratification.

Ditto on the girls not doing oral comment. My girl takes pride in all her abilities, as do i. I've known a few girls in the past who don't watch pr0n (for whatever reason) and don't do bj's or anything. Sex is just there because you have to. Quick, simple, in and out missionary only stuff. That is NOT what builds a healthy relationship.

Props for OP's girl for stepping up with the offer of pictures.
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Yeah I guess frequency and timing do factor in.. in the situation I'm in hes only really watched it a couple times with me around. The first time I lost my shit but that's cuz it was the first time between us and I took it really personally, which I realize in hindsight was a complete overreaction on my part. The second time we were both kinda drunk/messed up and I didnt feel like fooling around and I expressed hesitation with hooking up so he went forward with it and I was ok because I wasnt in the mood anyway, I knew it would bother me a little bit so I made the choice not to look...kinda out of sight out of mind deal.

Women naturally have a hard time differentiating between pure physical need and emotions, that's why some may be offended with their guy watching porn. But we should lighten up, I mean we stare at handsome/muscley guys, maybe fantasize about them in our private moments, which is the same thing you guys do but the only difference is you guys are watching videos and we're making up the scenario is our head.

Ding ding ding!
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Or OP can join THE no fap challenge!

Shits like cheating and divorce are sometimes the result of an unsatisfied sex life. She should be thanking you for fapping to a computer screen instead of bringing her herpes screwing some whores.

Different sex drive is a real problem in any relationship. Unless you both acknowledge and understand it and come up with a solution that truly makes both side happy, say fucking goodbye to happy relationship later on in marriage. Two people of different sex comes together to enjoy life together not to breed a bunch of brats and endure each other for 40+ years, which is the case in society these days.