Seeking help from a counsellor. serious replies only please
 

Not sure if I'm putting this in the right section but I want some insight from people who have sought help from a counsellor before. Be it for family, relationships, career, difficulty in life etc... what is the general process? Whats happens in your time with the counsellor? How does it help you? How long has it taken for you to have realized or gotten this help?

If you can share your experiences that would be great. I know that BCIT offers counselling services to their students... just wanna gather some insight on what its been like for some other people.

Thanks!

You'll never know unless one tries it personally. Counselling varies in results for different individuals and depends on many factors.. Some of which include the individuals' level of engagement as well as their ability to relate to the counsellor.

I don't have personal experience with counselling but know many who have tried it. Some, it was life-altering. For others, it opened doors but they eventually figured things out themselves. I say give it shot, you never know!

I'll send a private message to you on the subject, but I would strongly encourage anyone else reading this that is considering counselling to take the significant step and make an appointment.

would appreciate that, thank you :)

I have gone to counselors a few times over the years, a couple times for grief and another time for relationship counseling (she was crazy but a demon with the lights off, so I wanted to make it work). I just finished seeing a counselor for semi-weekly sessions for two months to help me through the grief of losing my father last November- my work pays for sessions, so I saw no harm in talking to a professional about what to expect / how to personalize my grief. I think it helps to hear yourself say what you truly think, as honesty is a rarity in the real world.

I tell people it is no different than taking your car to a shop - if you had the tools, time, and know-how to fix it yourself, you would. But most of us don't. The professionals are trained and experienced to assist you, so let them help. Good luck, make that appointment.

This.

I've been for anxiety/depression, and MB's advice is as real as it gets. If you're thinking about it, just go.

From my experience, after just the first appointment, everything clears up a bit, and you can decide more clearly about whether or not it's something you want to continue attending.

saw one several years ago.

took a lacrosse ball to the nuts without wearing my jock...

was right around the time I was starting to date a new girl who I hadn't had sex with yet. everytime we would fool around I knew my junk was sore and it got to me big time cause I couldn't let myself get turned on or it would sting. by the time it healed up I could barely get the bugger up because I was always "setting myself up for disappointment" (stress from not wanting to displease her which caused me performance anxiety).

saw my dr...sent me to a urologist... he said im fine n dandy and said its a mental matter. gave me the number to a dr/therapist and said if it helps check her out.

saw her the first time and problem solved. went back maybe a month later just to stay on top of things and make sure im still working 100% lol

if your interested here's her website. she does sexual/relationship counselling.

www.biancaruker.com

was quite simple process. I called to make an apt. went there. had the apt. paid in cash (was under 200 an hour) and left, but what she told me ill remember forever! highly recommend her!

(ps yes it was awkward telling a lady therapist about my problem, but after 5 minutes you figure fuck it...shes heard much worse)

what's the cost to see her? do group benefits from work cover these sessions?

^ 180 I believe.

Not sure if it's covered, Ijust paid in cash and made it as discreet as possible :p
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Just curious if everything worked out okay?

I tried it, but I thought it was useless. Basically you open up and everything, but I didn't think it helped me with my problems
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In truth, counselling is not effective for everyone.

In some cases, the counselee and counsellor may not connect. Because counselling relationships are so close not every counselee will be compatible with every counsellor and vice versa. For this reason it's worth a shot to try seeing a different counsellor if you're not experiencing progress with the one you're seeing.

In other cases, and this is more common, the counselee may not be prepared to engage their problems. There's no fault on the part of the counselee in these cases. But it might be better for them to take a break and come back to counselling at a later point.

I cannot stress enough the potential benefit of it. It's gets easier and easier after the first session so if you're nervous, don't worry.

I see it differently, we live in a world with less and less interaction. To have someone to be able to vent, speak it out does help a lot. i mean if you doin't talk it out, you'll be constantly stuck and be in a rut.

even that avenue is helpful and you know how impossible it is to post up an opinion online to even have a straight answer.

If anyone wants to vent, buy me a beer and I'll listen and give you my free advice. Your not forced to do what I suggest, same goes for a counsellor. But at least this way you get to confide in a stranger and save yourself 200$ an hour. :)
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Hi! I think my session went pretty well. It was tears from the moment I started to speak till the end, but I really let off a lot of things that bothered me, and I walked away with some tools and ideas to help improve my situation.

I rescheduled with her right after the first session, and it would have been a two week window before I'd see her again, but in that two weeks, it was so, so, hard for me to confront those problems and implement those tools and ideas. Perhaps 2 weeks was too short a time frame for me to gather up the courage to do anything? I don't know. But I ultimately cancelled my second appointment because I wasn't able to take the first steps to improve my situation after our first meeting. I'm not too sure I did the right thing here... thoughts anyone?

Do you feel any better after the first appointment, regardless of the fact you haven't done any of your "homework"? It's hard to really say without knowing your situation, and everyone's needs are different.

Similar thing happened with me, it wasn't until after the third appointment that he assigned me some actions to take. I didn't take the actions, and I stopped going back. Mainly because I don't do well with taking orders, and I had no reason to. I didn't need someone to tell me what to do, I just needed a "professional" to kind of help sort out some things in my life while my head was spinning non-stop during that time.

If you think you still need her, you can go back and tell her that you're not ready to take those steps yet, and you want to move slower. But if you feel better and think you can manage, you don't have to go back. There's not really a right or wrong answer. Ultimately it just depends on how you feel.
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Hi xmisstrinh,

I'm happy to hear you've been to your first counselling session!

This is going to sound cliche, but it is completely okay that you weren't successful in implementing the set of tools because you tried! In counselling you're not simply taught a set of tools. The strength you require to implement the set of tools is closely considered. In your case, the counselor is going to see that you need help to reinforce it and give it to you. In fact, I suspect you're going to spend some of your next session doing exactly that. So, I encourage you to schedule another session.

For comparison, it's taken me months and many sessions to implement some aspects of the set of tools I've been taught.

Going back is a decision for you and you alone, but if you felt that speaking your truths helped in any way - then go back for more. They make suggestions to help, but there isn't 'one way' for everyone. Small stuff - don't sweat it.

Good luck with your decision - whichever way the wind blows you.

i have never seen a counsellor, always try to help myself & i ended up helping others