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-   -   Getting laid VS Being upstanding (https://www.revscene.net/forums/695964-getting-laid-vs-being-upstanding.html)

CharlesInCharge 06-16-2014 01:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pegacorn (Post 8487406)
Guilty as charged.
Yes, I went celibate for an entire year and it was one of the best years of my life. I learned new skills, I figured out what I wanted out of life, I grew as a person, and I learned to love myself. All the meaningless sex leading up to that year was meaningless and didn't further my advancement as a human being at all. This is why I say that people place too much importance on sex, but by all means if people feel the need to tramp around and try to bag hoes and find some kind of fulfillment in that, it's their life (I've done it, I can't judge). I think at the end of the day, they may find themselves unfulfilled and experience crushing loneliness after they've kicked their last conquest out of bed.

I understand that people who aren't getting laid experience FOMO and think everyone else is doing this awesome thing and some take it to an extreme and go on rampages because they feel like they aren't getting what they're entitled to. You're entitled to being alive, maybe not even that. You're entitled to nothing, really, life is a gift (barf, but true).

I get it, though, people need to learn from experience.

I went on a total fruit diet for some months and I tell ya, my sex drive was decimated... and I found more time to work and think as a result as well. :)

multicartual 06-16-2014 01:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CharlesInCharge (Post 8488413)
I went on a total fruit diet for some months and I tell ya, my sex drive was decimated... and I found more time to work and think as a result as well. :)


You can get the same mental acuity while getting a lot of sex via intermittent fasting


I hear you on the NWO rat race, people are being conditioned to all be a part of globalist, lowest-common-denominator culture.


The upside may be that we're* all too narcissistic and selfish to ever fight a world war again?


*The privileged 10% of the world or whatever

Ulic Qel-Droma 06-17-2014 01:50 AM

all i know is this, getting laid once in a while actually makes me focus on work way more.

my mind is purged of that pressure and i can focus on more important shit.

sex is like a nice massage, you need it here and there to function at 100%.

abstaining from sex too long makes you a kook.

getting too much sex makes you a kook too. lol

Gumby 06-17-2014 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ulic Qel-Droma (Post 8488846)
all i know is this, getting laid once in a while actually makes me focus on work way more.

my mind is purged of that pressure and i can focus on more important shit.

sex is like a nice massage, you need it here and there to function at 100%.

abstaining from sex too long makes you a kook.

getting too much sex makes you a kook too. lol

multicartual must fall into the latter category then. :troll:

Ulic Qel-Droma 06-17-2014 10:58 AM

while the rest of rs falls into the former? hahaha!!!

CharlesInCharge 06-17-2014 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by multicartual (Post 8488416)
...

The upside may be that we're* all too narcissistic and selfish to ever fight a world war again?

....

A good dose of "internment" camps and no food should reverse that in a week :p

Pegacorn 06-17-2014 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ulic Qel-Droma (Post 8488846)
all i know is this, getting laid once in a while actually makes me focus on work way more.

my mind is purged of that pressure and i can focus on more important shit.

sex is like a nice massage, you need it here and there to function at 100%.

abstaining from sex too long makes you a kook.

getting too much sex makes you a kook too. lol

I can get the same thing from a bottle of wine, a really good run, a night of dancing and drinking, or some time on a mountain. I do agree that too much, or not enough sex can make people loopy, but that's why other outlets are a good idea, especially if sex isn't easily attainable at the time. Porn helps.

Ulic Qel-Droma 06-17-2014 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pegacorn (Post 8489095)
I can get the same thing from a bottle of wine, a really good run, a night of dancing and drinking, or some time on a mountain. I do agree that too much, or not enough sex can make people loopy, but that's why other outlets are a good idea, especially if sex isn't easily attainable at the time. Porn helps.

im sorry dude, but i'd take hot passionate sex over a bottle of wine, a really good run, a night of dancing and drinking, or some time on the mountain... any time, at any point in time of existence.

that is unless i was getting paid millions to do one of those other activities.
of course those millions will add up to more sex down the road. so really, sex.

if sex isn't easily attainable due to physical restraints (such as remote area, prison, etc), then porn... sure.

if sex isn't easily attainable due to time constraints (such as working hard to make millions so you can bang whoever you want later), then porn... sure.

if sex isn't easily attainable because you suck at getting women, you should drop what you're doing and get better at that first. cuz i guarantee you, if you're fine with women, you'll be fine with life.

all other skills can be learnt any other time in your life.

pastarocket 06-17-2014 07:26 PM

Is the OP trying to get survey results based on our replies? :fulloffuck:

http://www.quickmeme.com/img/45/4532...cddff46056.jpg

Pegacorn 06-17-2014 08:29 PM

mountains > sex
Sex is pretty fucking great, but if sex is the top of the gratification pyramid for you, you haven't lived.

Sex on a mountain is probably the best thing ever, though :joy:

Pegacorn 06-17-2014 08:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ulic Qel-Droma (Post 8489119)

if sex isn't easily attainable because you suck at getting women, you should drop what you're doing and get better at that first. cuz i guarantee you, if you're fine with women, you'll be fine with life.

It generally goes the other way around: if you're fine with life, you'll be fine with women. Figure your life out and the women will find you.

Ulic Qel-Droma 06-18-2014 01:23 AM

lol the chicken or the egg?

ive met and have a lot of friends that are well established in their lives and careers, and almost married or married with kids.

i say they are considered living the "american dream"... but they're not good with women...

sure they have a wife and kids...

but if they were single, and i wanted to party and meet women, i wouldn't invite them.

unless by figure out life you mean make millions. then yeah. thats what i was getting at too.

Pegacorn 06-18-2014 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ulic Qel-Droma (Post 8489407)
lol the chicken or the egg?

ive met and have a lot of friends that are well established in their lives and careers, and almost married or married with kids.

i say they are considered living the "american dream"... but they're not good with women...

sure they have a wife and kids...

but if they were single, and i wanted to party and meet women, i wouldn't invite them.

unless by figure out life you mean make millions. then yeah. thats what i was getting at too.

If he has a wife and kids then I'd say he's probably about as good with women as he needs to be. I mean, generally, the reason people try to get good with women (unless they plan to be an eternal bachelor, or a cheater) is so they can eventually meet someone to spend their lives with. If he's married and your'e single, I'd argue that he's better with women than you are.

And no, I wasn't talking about making millions. If you think life is about making millions and bagging lots of women, then you don't have it figured out.

multicartual 06-18-2014 11:35 AM

How will you know if you really like chocolate cake if you haven't had pie, ice cream, cookies, pizza, nachos and San Jose biker crank first?

Ulic Qel-Droma 06-18-2014 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pegacorn (Post 8489538)
If he has a wife and kids then I'd say he's probably about as good with women as he needs to be. I mean, generally, the reason people try to get good with women (unless they plan to be an eternal bachelor, or a cheater) is so they can eventually meet someone to spend their lives with. If he's married and your'e single, I'd argue that he's better with women than you are.

And no, I wasn't talking about making millions. If you think life is about making millions and bagging lots of women, then you don't have it figured out.

no, most men marry women because it's the best thing they can get, and they SETTLE.

life isn't about making millions and banging women, but it's a part of life that is... depending on your values, fairly important.


Quote:

Originally Posted by multicartual (Post 8489561)
How will you know if you really like chocolate cake if you haven't had pie, ice cream, cookies, pizza, nachos and San Jose biker crank first?

exactly.

i can ask most of my married friends, how many women they have dated, how many women they have banged, how many women they've been "involved" with.

i can guarantee you, the average is less than 10.
LESS THAN 10 IN AN ENTIRE FUCKING LIFETIME.

jesus c'mon, how do you KNOW. you don't...

it's not until you've banged and been involved and dated MANY women, do you come to realise what women really are.

until then, you're just a frog in a well. the best woman is always the one youre with. cuz you've only been with 3 or 4. or 10. or whatever.

women are not all the same.

it's like being a car expert when you've only owned and driven like 5 cars. give me a break!!!

your LOVE for a woman isn't authentic unless you've loved many women. enough to know when it's just desperation/willing to settle/horniness vs actual love.


i've loved one woman a lot. she was the world to me. no one could replace her. i wanted to marry her. i would have married her. i would have anything for her.

at that time i only had experienced like 6 women? she stood out by a lot. everything was good. good family, good personality, well traveled, beautiful. i couldn't ask for more....

CORRECTION... I DIDNT KNOW ANYMORE.

we broke up. heart broken. emo... everyone knows that phase.

fast forward time... a lot of women later, i realised how scummy some women were, every woman i date, or get with, pick up, whatever. get "involved" with... i always compare to her. shit... the quality of women suck.

then one day i met a girl... she was BETTER than the one i "loved" so much... better in every way... unimaginable... how could this be? too bad it was just a fling, she lives 10000km away, and i became this playboy that didn't submit to relationships.

fast forward....

i have met a few more, each one better, each one fulfilling another attribute that i thought was only idealistic. i went out, and i FOUND them.

according to MY OWN statistics, every 30 women im involved with, i meet 2 that are marriage worthy (intentionally used 30, not 15:1 cuz at 15 it's still not accurate).

im talking, looks, smarts, personality comparability, family compatibility, wealth etc... win win scenario for everyone.

so 6.67% of women i have been involved with are marriage worthy. you know, that lust feeling that never goes away, but not just lust like porn. like the want to put her before yourself in all aspects of life. the lust to want to sacrifice yourself.

now when i compare all the women i thought i could marry... to each other... there are ones that stand out more. then you can rank them

now to add on to that, if you have only dated 10 women, i doubt 6 of them are marriage worthy. the statistics are not accurate unless you've sampled a proper number of people.

i am liberal with my statistics, and i am far more picky than other men when it comes to women. i am sure jason an attest to the fact that less than 6% of the women he's gotten involved with are marriage worthy (and this is very true especially if you've only dated people within a certain type of group or stereotype ex. hipster, geek, party girl etc.... and ESPECIALLY true if you've only dated women locally... there is a huge world out there... you CANNOT imagine the caliber of women out there unless you've GONE OUT THERE and done it).

i used to be kinda a hypocritical racist. you know... i don't date certain race, but it's okay if you do. but i've changed... ill take any woman as long as they're beautiful (beauty is the lowest and initial standard i use to sift out the sheer number of other qualified women). I wanna tag every race. every mix, every culture. i wanna become intimate with every possible type of beauty and culture, so i REALLY know what's out there. cuz hell, maybe i ain't into asian girls as much as i thought... once i've had other types. and not just that!!! i want to know the different type of cultures intimately, through different perspectives of different personality types.

this is a woman im supposed to spend the rest of my life with. I WANT... TO KNOW. ALL MY OPTIONS. ALL.

anyway, i only rant because around my age, people have been married for a few years or are just getting married. and yeah im happy for them and all that bull shit, but it's like... you hear and see the darker side of things and you wonder... what kinda dumbass decisions people make to get married.

from what i've seen, like i said... most men and women settle. 90% settle.
it's the best thing they have at that time and that's all there is to it.

the other friends i have that were playboys (married with kids now)... are still playboys. they flirt a lot. travel and get involved with other women.
these guys are way bigger playboys than me and probably jason are. i dont think there are numbers that exist that can represent the number of women they've dated/fucked.

half of them regret marrying. they only stick with it for the kids. they've all met women after their marriages, that in a heart beat they woulda married them instead. but too late.

i mean, sure i can get married, there is the option of divorce, but i prefer not to. lol. i prefer to find the one that fulfills every aspect of what i want.

i will die single playboy, or find that woman. there is no in between.

I will not fucking settle for some woman that just happened to stick around for long enough, or was just at the right place at the right time.

there ARE better.

you know that girl you love? there is a girl out there with a better personality, and better looks, and better background, and a better education, and a better everything.

except you settled. you didn't BOTHER to go find them. they exist. you just have to fucking look harder. try harder.

and IF you ever find one, and they turn you down, it's cuz you didn't make something of yourself... and it's too late in your life, and you're too old to start being a playboy and gain women exp.

so what do you do?

you settle for the "next best thing". and you make subconscious and conscious excuses to as why you love her "most".

you pat yourself on the back and amp yourself up for the wrong reasons. lies.

it's a lie.

you settled. that's the truth.

fact: 1/4th of my married friends are now divorced or in a shaky relationship.
fact: most of them settled.
fact: most of them have had less than 10 woman experience.
fact: most men are not qualified to talk about knowing different types of women.
fact: mountains suck :)

Ulic Qel-Droma 06-18-2014 01:58 PM

i mean, there is one downside though that i forgot to mention.

you realise that love is not singular. what do you do when you love more than one woman?

1) you submit to traditions and culture and settle for the one that you "love" most at that moment.

2) you realise traditions and cultures are for chumps that chase their own tails, and you love them all anyway.

actually that wasn't really a downside. unless the women you are with are possessive bitches.

but when you're a standup guy AND you've banged a lot of women AND you have money...

you have the power, and you have the choice... and the women that get possessive and crazy, get cut from the team... unless they're just as stand up, experienced, wealthy as you are... then you have a negotiation on the table :)

when two stand up player/playette "collide", it's a business opportunity that one should not miss out on.

Pegacorn 06-18-2014 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ulic Qel-Droma (Post 8489635)
no, most men marry women because it's the best thing they can get, and they SETTLE.

from what i've seen, like i said... most men and women settle. 90% settle.
it's the best thing they have at that time and that's all there is to it.

i mean, sure i can get married, there is the option of divorce, but i prefer not to. lol. i prefer to find the one that fulfills every aspect of what i want.

you know that girl you love? there is a girl out there with a better personality, and better looks, and better background, and a better education, and a better everything.

and IF you ever find one, and they turn you down, it's cuz you didn't make something of yourself... and it's too late in your life, and you're too old to start being a playboy and gain women exp.

fact: mountains suck :)

It's pretty clear we have different values and experiences, but I'm loving this debate! You make so many good points here. It sounds like you're really concerned you're going to settle and I have to tell you something..there is ALWAYS going to be someone else. There might always be someone prettier, or smarter, etc., you don't know, you never will. But one day you'll meet someone who you love, truly love and respect and love spending your time with. Will she be the prettiest girl you've ever banged? Maybe, maybe not. Might there be someone else out there EVEN BETTER? Depends on what "better" means to you.

The older you get, the more you start to realize what is important to you and what you REALLY want out of partner. I used to think I knew, I had a list. It was long. It was bullshit. Most of it was superficial and didn't matter. When I figured my life out and what type of partner I really wanted my list whittled down to basically 3 or 4 key points. Is that settling? I think of it as weeding out the chaff.

Yes, you can find someone who fulfils every aspect of what you're looking for, but maybe you should consider how much you're asking someone else to fulfil. Don't settle, but pare down the list a little. The best relationships are between two people who can fulfil their own needs, but who enrich each other's lives. You don't NEED each other, but it's pretty damn great to have each other and you feel like better people for it.

It sucks that so many of your friends feel like they've settled. 90% seems like a pretty high estimate, though. I guess I'm lucky that I know so many people who are so happy in their marriages (or second marriages, because yeah sometimes we make mistakes ...then we learn from them). I'm guessing I'm a bit older than you, though :P so you might find different statistics the older you get.

You mentioned someone might turn you down if you didn't make something of yourself, which was my point a few posts back exactly. Figure out your own life, fulfil your own needs, and find someone who has done the same with their life. Recipe for success right there. You can waste a lot of time chasing down women with your laundry list of needs and you'll probably find a lot of women trying to do the same to you.

FACT: mountains are the best fucking thing ever ;)

Ulic Qel-Droma 06-18-2014 04:47 PM

yeah... i don't like mountains.


and yes i agree with what you say.

perhaps there is a misunderstanding. I don't think i can ever fulfil the want to "get to know" every woman that crosses my mind.

maybe what i was getting at was, maybe men are just born to be polygamous. even if the law, or society dictates us not to... it's in our genes. and i intend to fulfil that calling.

I mean, i will still want my favourite, my #1. but i also want my 1.2... and my 1.3. and my 2 and 3 ... and 4.

but i am fair. i am not that possessive. they may fuck whoever they want too. as long as when they're with me, they're with me. ignorance is bliss. i don't care!

i know what i want out of a partner. i want them to make my life better. and i want to make their life better. but ... i just don't think i can stick with one partner forever.

the problem is women wanting to settle with one man. i cant seem to overcome that. unless you have very open minded women, or you've got millions and the power to just push aside any whining haha...

but what if you've got both? the chase never ends.

the more i learn, the more i realise the chase for ANYTHING in life never ends. so... it might as well be money and women if one is to chase anything. (one might argue to be satisfied with life, but really, you're still chasing money to get to retirement and all that other bullshit that encompasses what we call "living").

i mean, or become a monk and give it all up and that's the end game. but.. i aint quite ready to be a monk. lol. maybe when im 80 and ive lost my ability to jizz, or even my yearning for women.

go live in a monastery... on a MOUNTAIN.
fuck. maybe mountains arent so bad.

Pegacorn 06-18-2014 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ulic Qel-Droma (Post 8489756)
yeah... i don't like mountains.

I mean, i will still want my favourite, my #1. but i also want my 1.2... and my 1.3. and my 2 and 3 ... and 4.

but i am fair. i am not that possessive. they may fuck whoever they want too. as long as when they're with me, they're with me.

Ah you're polyamorous. I definitely have different values, but I respect your life choice. There's a thriving poly scene in Vancouver where you can find exactly what you're looking for in a relationship. While it's not for me, I definitely think it's a better option for people than cheating and lots of people seem to make it work and find fulfilment that way. Maybe you've already looked into it, but you can find events and shit at Vancouver Polyamoury and find other people who are interested in having that type of relationship.

Glad to see you're coming around about the mountains, too :D

GGnoRE 06-18-2014 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ulic Qel-Droma (Post 8489756)
maybe what i was getting at was, maybe men are just born to be polygamous. even if the law, or society dictates us not to... it's in our genes. and i intend to fulfil that calling.

I mean, i will still want my favourite, my #1. but i also want my 1.2... and my 1.3. and my 2 and 3 ... and 4.

but i am fair. i am not that possessive. they may fuck whoever they want too. as long as when they're with me, they're with me. ignorance is bliss. i don't care!

This is exactly how I feel these days man. While I was in a long-term relationship before I couldn't resist being attracted to so many other women and I fucked up too many times. But even with all that, I still loved my gf at that time for who she was. Its just that she cannot fulfill all of my desire. I don't think anyone can. Like Ulic said, people just settle.

I know cheating is fucked up so I don't bother going into a serious relationship anymore. I just tell them upfront I want to meet more than one person at a time and they are free to do so also. I don't want to give them 100% of myself and at the same time I don't want to take 100% of them either. Some girls understand, some don't.

white rocket 06-18-2014 08:20 PM

This page has been some of the best reading on RS lately. Kudos to this debate :thumbsup:

I will say that as a happily married man that has banged about 30 women(before the marriage, lol!) I do not feel like I settled at all. In fact, we have grown closer over the years and I know for a fact that I married my best friend. I was always looking for that and now I feel that I have found it. I wouldn't trade it for anything. It's like a lottery win for me. Everyone is different though and everyone has different wants out of life and that's cool

Ulic: really enjoyed your take on it and it made me think and look closely at my current marriage. If I was with say 100 women, would I have made the same choices since I'd had more experience? Hard to say. I certainly don't look at other women and feel any regret. Like none at all. In fact, I feel proud to be in a happy healthy relationship and feel sympathy for those who aren't('cause it's fucking awesome!)

As far as "banging bitches" goes, it was never really my thing and I felt I always yearned for more. I felt that jerking off was just way easier, no drama, no BS, no awkward after thoughts, no regrets. The sex part of a total relationship is a small part for me. I mean, we're all guys here. A wet hole and a little enthusiasm and we're good. You're lying if you think otherwise OR you are looking for more.

carry on 'gents

Pegacorn 06-19-2014 08:27 AM

GGnoRE: kudos to you for being upfront and honest and letting your partners decide if they're cool with that :thumbs:

white rocket: :tears:

Ulic Qel-Droma 06-19-2014 10:05 AM

well white rocket, 30 chicks before marriage is not a "low" number in comparison to the average man.

of course we are all looking for that one awesome girl, that one love. but there are moments of... i don't want to use the word weakness. nor do i want to use the phrase "questionable loyalty". but there are moments where I forget about whoever it is i'm with, because there is another woman, standing in front of me, or interacting with me, and at that moment, i want her. and i know there is no harm done if i get her...

i mean, from a nihilistic point of view. morals aside (morals are subjective)... why not?
i mean okok, other than std's and all those other disease scare tactics the public have been brain washed to think (it's not as bad as one thinks)... why not?

from the nihilistic perspective of a young straight male, what's stopping us? why stop?
it's only betrayal if you deem it betrayal. it's only immoral if you deem it immoral.

i just can't see the reason to stop, unless it was "hurting" that #1. which it wouldn't... cuz they:
1) wouldn't know
2) wouldn't care
3) have already agreed
4) are doing the same as you

the only way it would affect the relationship is if they some how knew, and they were possessive.

right?

I ain't arguing banging chicks is "RIGHT". but it's a path that doesn't seem as bad as society makes it.

i mean, i don't know what other guys mean by "banging bitches", but i don't go out and pick up whatever i can get. I enjoy the process of being intimate and knowing that person inside and out (no pun intended... sort of. lol).
I enjoy that relationship process, dating, banging, getting to know them.

otherwise why wouldn't i just go to a hooker. they're no fun. it's just like in and out. what... i coulda done that with my right hand. or left!
there needs to be intimacy.

just... there's enough intimacy in ulic for more than 1 girl. hahaha...

i could see myself go both ways. but REALISTICALLY, i will meet other women in my life... and these scenarios where i have to pick one path or the other will appear...

and like i said, morals, values, nihilism, sex drive, intimacy... the choice is obvious.

white rocket 06-19-2014 01:21 PM

Timing is everything as well. You might find the "one" that seems perfect to you but maybe where you are at in life doesn't coincide with a monogamous relationship at the time YET she is ready to be in one. What do you do? You know she's "it" or could be "it" yet you aren't done exploring. Say you decide to not pursue a monogamous relationship with her due to timing on your end. She moves on because that is what she is looking for and respects that you aren't. Then, at a later date, you realize that she was it.

Was opportunity banging(haha!) at your door and you missed out?
Do you let it go and move on; chalking it up as bad timing and oh well?
Do you think if you decided to be monogamous at that time, even though you didn't feel ready, you would have considered it settling?
Does your age play a factor for you?

At what point do you consider yourself satisfied with the playing field that you can make that kind of decision to be monogamous with that one person?

Pegacorn 06-19-2014 04:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ulic Qel-Droma (Post 8490150)
i mean okok, other than std's and all those other disease scare tactics the public have been brain washed to think (it's not as bad as one thinks)... why not?

i just can't see the reason to stop, unless it was "hurting" that #1. which it wouldn't... cuz they:
1) wouldn't know
2) wouldn't care
3) have already agreed
4) are doing the same as you

the only way it would affect the relationship is if they some how knew, and they were possessive.

right?

Going back to the STD thing...there are a lot of nasty things you can give your partner even if you use a condom when cheating and they are VERY common and happen a lot. It's not a scare tactic. You may want to look up the statistics of HPV (70% of sexually active people have it). You may not care, because you don't have a cervix, but women get HPV and it can quickly turn into cervical cancer. So, if you give a shit about your partner, take her health into consideration. Please. It's reckless and selfish not to.

The slippery slope of morals and ethics aside, if you really love someone why would you do something that you know they would be upset about if they found out? If you don't think they'd be upset, why not tell them?

I'm all for poly couples and having agreements about relations outside of the relationship. Those couples usually get tested often, know each other's partners, etc. They know what they're getting into. I don't think it's ever okay to make sexual health decisions for someone else. I wouldn't gamble my partner's sexual health by having sex with some random. There are usually consequences. I don't know anybody who has cheated or been cheated on who hasn't suffered some consequence. If you've been getting away with it and nobody's gotten hurt, then you must be some kind of cheating unicorn.

This sort of thing riles me up because I had my sexual health put in danger by a cheating sociopath and barely escaped with my life and all of my organs intact.


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